Excuse Me While I Wallow in Self-Pity
Oh my fuck. Is it possible that senioritus has followed me to college, or have I just lost my motivation? Why is it so easy to give up? I have so much homework today, and yet I can't do it. I tried to do Italian tonight, but when I got to the section where I had to write out full sentences in Italian, I just couldn't do it. How the hell does she expect us to know this stuff? I mean, we're basically teaching this stuff to ourselves. If I can't get a tutor in Italian, I'm screwed. Who the hell uses italian anyways? Spanish would be sooooo more useful. But I'm sure I'd encounter the same situation with the teacher only speaking spanish. And what's up with my sleeping schedule? It's 2:30 and if I try to go to bed, I'm just going to lay their for hours - I didn't even have any coffee today, even though I was dead at 6:00pm and needed it desperately. I went to the library so I could finish my math. The study room is great...so great that I even fell asleep and was awoken by Megan's call, asking if I wanted to go to Simpson for dining. I came back from dinner and started Italian. The preliminary chapter wasn't too difficult. But then I was getting tired and I had to take a nap. Each time I woke up I kept on resetting my alarm for 10 more minutes. At 10:35 I left my work to watch SNL. That sucked because the new season hasn't started yet and it comes in fuzzy. Plus, no one showed up to watch it. They all went to Navy Pier instead to watch the fireworks. They wanted me to go, and maybe I should have, but I was just too tired. I hung out with them later, though. We got ice cream from "White Hens," some corner store, and we listened to music and chilled in sara and theresa's dorm with the other sara, jessica (who used to carpool with Ashton Kutcher back in MN), and Ro-hin. I was surprised because he's indian and he put on that jerky boys skit "you kicked my dog." It was good times, though. Geeze, why am I so pissed off and fed up today? Oh yeah. This is the third week (well almost). I guess the most college students drop out after the third week. I also feel bad because today was 9/11. I feel unpatriotic for not doing anything to comemorate the horrific event. You know what else pisses me off? Our stupid visitation hours. Even if you're a loyola student, even if you're of the same gender, you HAVE to be out of the dorm you're visiting by 2:00am on the weekends and midnight weekdays. This is slightly ridiculous. At least I can look forward to next year, when there's NO visitation hours for sophomores. And when the fuck are my arms going to stop hurting? I feel disabled. And why do I get invited to do things at the worst times? Erin, who I recently realized reminds me almost EXACTLY of erin sprague (tall, smart, rich, super friendly, etc.), hugged me tonight (it made me think she was drunk or something, but I don't think she was) and was trying to persaud me to watch SuperTroopers - at 2:00 in the morning. And tomorrow I have to go to church at 4:00. And I got to remember that next weekend I have training for eucharstic ministering. Plus, the aids run is next week. You know, I want to write my english paper right now, just because it's a simple 2 page paper, but I just don't feel chipper enough to do it. I have a feeling that it'd be a very angry, synical narrative. You know what else sucks? I WANT to learn...but I can't. I want to be enlightened. I want to know everything that I can get my hands on. But my brain is my foe and it won't work how i want it to. What if I had a learning disability? That'd almost be reassuring, but I wouldn't want to have one. Sometimes, I swear that I'm dyslexic when I'm writing and reading. Plus, when i read, I have to read each sentence over and over until my brain will actually pay attention to what I'm reading. My mind wanders a lot when I sit down to do homework. It's just so easy to be distracted, but maybe it's like that for everyone? Okay, now I'm sitting here practicing things I'd say if I was asked certain questions from prospective students. I think I need to go.

It's Ironic that I heard this Song today and Kirsten wants to rape me
Wow. So much has happened and yet nothing has happened. There was nothing special about today, but it turned out to be amazing. I called sara to see if she wanted to study on the jesuit lawn. Next thing I know, there's a whole group of people there. Needless to say, no one got much of anything done. Around dinner time I was so tired I was gone. Megan said I looked like a robot. haha. I don't doubt that. I drank some coffee at dinner (something I'm beginning to get into the bad habit of doing - I don't even like the taste!) but I didn't even wake me up - not until now at least. I'm WIRED right now. And I have to go to class in like 7 hours. Bah. Anyways, I went to the SEA (Student Environmental Alliance) meeting tonight. A much larger turnout. Laura, this girl from my english class, was there, even though my roomate forgot about it. I also met this other Laura who's really nice. After the meeting, she liked my idea of exploring the 14th floor because we heard it was creepy. You see, the main elevators only go to the 9th floor, and the building is probably only occuppied up to the 10th floor. We found this really old elevator, the kind where you pull the screen shut. I must be at least 75 years old. But for some reason it wouldn't go up past the 10th floor. Instead, we found this stairwell different from the main one and went up that. Dun dun dun! It was so creepy/cool. Starting at the 12th floor, you could tell the upper floors haven't been used in years. There's this story that supposedly this girl killed herself on the 13th floor and now it's haunted. We went up to the very top, though, because it seemed scariest. It looked pitch black, until we got up there and opened the doors. The place was trashed. Clearly, people go up there to drink because there were empty vodka bottles as well as chip bags and newspapers. It just looks so creepy. I managed to talk Laura into adventuring the 13th floor with me. She didn't like the idea too much, but I got her to go in it. The only thing, once we got in there, she didn't want to walk to end with me. It was soo creepy. It was this long hallway and on both sides all the doors were wide open. Especially since it's the "haunted" floor, you expect to see something pop out of one of the rooms. As I was walking down the hallway, I found this piece of paper that said "You must go up to come down." Does that not sound like something you'd hear about in an urban myth or a scary movie? It was great. But Laura wanted to go so we did. But...I'm definitely going to have more adventures up there. When i got back, Kirsten called me because it was her birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY!) and a bunch of my friends were hanging out with her in fruitport, having a bon fire and drinking. I guess my muskegon friends made up the rumor that all these girls I hang out with at college want to rape me. Ha! Then Kirsten said she wanted to steal my virginity. Lol. Hey, she says she coming up NEXT WEEK...so it could happen! I talked to my roomate and he said he's totally cool with people of the opposite sex staying the night. But she also knows someone else in chicago, so I guess she might be able to crash there as well. Still, it'll be so cool to see my muskegon friends in chicago! Emily also called me tonight. The other night...we just didnt have such a great conversation. But things seem better now. I should get going. I have class in a few hours. My roomate's going home for the weekend, so it will be strange being in this room by myself. At least we're getting along better, not to say that we weren't. But we might check out some concerts later this month and next. Later.

Done and DONE
Going back to school after the three day wasn't too bad. Italian sucked, but I have a better feel for the class now; basically, we teach ourselves and then show up to class ready to use what we taught ourselves. English isn't too exciting, but at least it's nothing I have to worry about. At freshmen seminar, we learned how to manage our time today. Actually, that's what was on the syllabus. It was more just writing a weekly schedule for ourselves. I couldn't sleep well, so I woke up a little earlier this morning. I got my package that my mom sent. Nothing special, just a bunch of account information, but she did send my yearbooks from grade school. Ashley, Sarah, and I will have to go through that one of those days. I also signed up for my interview for the "student ambassador." It's tomorrow afternoon, so I'm going to try to be as prepared as I can be. It's a job that I reallllly hope to get. Basically, you get paid good wages to give tours of the campus to high school students and their families. It's only a few hours a week, so it's very plausible to pick up another part time job. After that, I headed over to the library to check out their audiovisual collection. It's kinda a pain because you have to search their archives online, fill out a request form, and then wait 2-4 business days to get the tape you want. I placed a request for something - not exaclty sure what it was, but I think it has Robert Fagles, the guy who translated the Odyssey in it. Not exactly the greek mythology tape I was looking for, but hopefully I can learn something from it. Reading the Odyssey (I finished it tonight by the way) gave me a really big headache. It's waaaay too repetitive and descriptive for one person to handle all at once. I think my head will explode. I'm going to go sleep now or do italian homework - sleep sounds like the better candidate.

out of nowhere I"m in a get up kids mood
I guess you can say I survived my first real weekend at college. To be frank, I'm incredibly tempted to go to a frat party, drink a lot of beer, and hook up with some random girl. I've always thought that that was against my morals, but I guess I was never really in the position to test them, at least not to the degree that I am now. But...schoolwork. I got everything done. Well, mostly. Italian was a bitch because sara and I planned to do it together. First, we couldn't find any open computer labs. Second, we couldn't get the wireless network in CFU to work for us. Third, the regular ethernet in the dorms sucked! We wasted an hour just trying to get into the site. On top of that, we spent over an hour working on the Italian workbook, which was due on labor day, by the way. Then, we opened up the lab manual only to discover 30 assigned sections. Niice. It wasn't tooo bad though. I got done around midnight. Then I got to read the Odyssey. Yep. Homer and I have been spending a lot of quality time together lately. I'm happy to announce that I'm almost to the finish line. I wanted to be done with it yesterday, today at the latest, but it looks like I may have to stay up really late reading or try to get my sleep and do it tomorrow morning/afternoon. No class until 11:30. But I should get up early to study Italian. Where's my roomate? I think I scared him earlier. And now he's disappeared. Unless he's spending some quality time in a dark bathroom. Hmm.. He's actually a pretty cool guy, but I'm just not used to how laid back he is: kinda like me. We did our roomate agreement today and for everything we put down "whatever," as in, anything goes as far as cleaning, people coming over, homework hours, sleeping hours, lights on/off, music, etc. I can't complain. I'd have to say that I got a pretty good roomate...Okay, that was kinda wierd. I went to move my laptop to my bed (taking advantage of the wireless network while it lasts) and my roomate's sleeping. Didn't notice him there. He says he sleeps pretty well, so I shouldn't be too worried about waking him up. I was talking to emily tonight, and I came to the conclusion that muskegon is going to suck when i come home. I like everyone there, and without them, it'd be a plain old shit hole...but muskegon itself is not very exciting. Even if there's "nothing" to do in chicago, it's just cool being here. Off to read and/or sleep.

Another Lazy Sunday
Today I slept in until a nice 12:00pm. I couldn't fall asleep until after 3:00am though, so I was still pretty tired. After my shower, I met Sara downstairs for lunch. Her life flashed before her eyes when she tipped the table and all the food went sliding toward her and her white shirt (but managed to stay on the table). I also told her about my crazy dream last night in which megan randomly suggested that we dive into the snow. Megan went for it, then sara just plopped down, tripping over a step. Megan got mad at me because I didn't do it. That pretty much fits all our personalities exactly. Afterwards, i came back and read and did laundry. Exciting stuff. Megan called and asked if I wanted to do homework on the "quad," as she calls the lawn in front of the jesuit residence. It was nice laying down on the lawn and reading by the lake. A little later we went to Simpson for dinner (they don't have much food left at 7:00 by the way). Then I went back to my dorm to read some more. I went to church at 10:00pm...and actually got something out of it! I'll just say that I'm a thermometor, and I want to be a thermastat. After that I went to Megan's dorm to listen to music and play card games. I was on the verge of winning every game by a landslide when she came out of nowhere and "robbed" me. Good times though. Now I'm here. I still gotta do a bunch of reading tonight and tomorrow. And Italian.

I don't think tonight was the "real deal" as Megan said it'd be. But don't get me wrong, it was still a fun experience. It just didn't seem amazing like everything else in chicago is. I guess a lot of people went home for Labor Day weekend, so campus is kinda like a ghost town. Rather nice, actually. Most of us slept in pretty late from the night before. But it was definitely needed. Tonight we hoped on the el and went to the jazz festival in grant park. That was nice but not really my thing. As sara would say, I like "pizza hut jazz" instead of the real stuff that they played tonight. It was kinda cool though because Mr. Moody, this really famous jazz guy, was playing. We decided to leave that in search of food. That proved more difficult than expected. Problem: Find a place to eat that's 1) Not a fast food place 2) not expensive. Luckily, we found this really good place called Governor's Pub on State St. Plus, the played realllly good music. Sara wanted to go see Navy Pier after dinner, so we waited forever to catch a bus. That was an experience unto itself. It was my first time riding a public bus in the U.S. I was kind of disgusted. There were empty beer bottles, wrappers, pop cans, and...chicken bones!?! Ugh. I should probably go wash my hands a few times. Oh wait...I think i already did. Anyways, when we finally got the Navy Pier we found out it was closed, so instead we got off on Grand and hoped on the el back to campus. By that time it was almost midnight, so we called it night. Everyone was pretty exhausted. All-in-all, the night wasn't too exciting. Maybe I just had my hopes too high. I mean, this is chicago, you'd think there'd be something to do on a saturday that didn't involve 1) IDs 2) Underage Drinking 3) Tons of Money. Maybe I was wrong. For $5 I could've gone to a Rugby party and gotten wasted...well, before they ran out of beer, anyways. That's where my roomate headed because he has friends whose friends play on the rugby team? I dunno, something like that. Matt's not a "partier" but he'd pay $5 to watch people drink? I wanna watch SNL but we don't get any reception without cable. Plus, it's probably over due to the hour difference. I'm tired, but I don't like going to bed with this feeling of unaccomplishment. Tomorrow's not going to be fun at all because I plan on reading the Odyssey ALL DAY!

first real weekend on campus
Fridays feel good. I think three day weekends feel better. I guess tonight was the open of my first real college weekend. Last weekend didn't really count because not everyone was on campus yet. Now that school's in session, the weekends are going to be interesting. As to be expected, Loyola has a party life. North Shore and Albion are where it's at. Earlier in the evening, though, a bunch of us (Kyle, Tex, Megan, Laura) went to Sara and Theresa's dorm, where they fixed us awesome lasagna and pizza bread from their very own stove - it was full on homegoodness. Around 9:00ish, we headed out because the band we saw last weekend at Zips was playing at this this coffee house called Chase Cafe. Theresa and Sara split off to find some party with Tex and Kyle. The rest of us waited for my roomate, Matt, and these two other girls in front of CFU before heading to the show. We hoped on the "el" and got there just before 10:00. A little late. The room they were playing in was packed, so we just hung around outside the doors listening. Plus, Megan got to talk the bouncer who knows the band. Afterwards, we headed back to campus via foot. It was funny because some black guys in a car shouted out to my roomate: "two girls - that's what I'm talking about." Then they saw me and said "Three girls!? Man, that's even better!" Haha. Chicago is definitely not like muskegon. When we got back to campus, Matt and the girls went back to Mertz to chill in someone's room. Sara headed back from the frat party she was at. She's not a partier, but she went to accompany Theresa. She said that the party was hot and packed and lame...but I dunno. I'm not really into that stuff, but I think it'd be interesting just to go to one some day, to see what it's like. Anyways, Sara, Megan, Laura, and some other girl headed back to my dorm where we watched an intellectual comedy called A Mighty Wind. It had it's funny moments, but overall, something you have to think to hard about. Still, it was fun. Ten minutes into the movie, these guys knocked on my door. They asked if they could hang out with us, so I let them in. Despite the fact that they smelled like alcohol, they openly admitted that they were drunk. It made for an amusing show. I guess they're both on the rugby team and the other rugby players "forced" to drink a bunch of some hard liquor. They didn't stay for long, which I guess is good because as funny as they were to watch, it was kind of awkward. After the movie, I walked Megan home. On my way back, I bumped into Ryan and this chic named Kim. I guess she was at one of the parties tonight with some other girl. Both of them got drunk AND took a few hits of vicadin. Not good. Kim didn't seem that bad, but I guess the other girl was really fucked up. Ryan handled the situation pretty well though. He was coming back from taking the other girl to her dorm, and I helped him take kim to hers. I feel kind of bad because him and bunch of the other kids in my dorm are watching aladin. I want to get to know them, and I don't want them to think that I'm blowing them off, but Im too tired to go out there and watch anything right now. Maybe another tonight. Probably not tomorrow night because tomorrow night is the "real deal" as megan would say. Tonight was just practice. I guess we might check out the jazz festival and see what else is going on. Well, I'm spent.