jus4fun06
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2006 8 May :: 9.36pm
:: Mood: not quite sure
so um, i kinda fooled around with adam. its not that i dont like you, its just im lonely. and adam, hes just a lust thing. he lusts after me and i after him. that is until today. hes a bad kisser! lol. he was very agressive and forceful. did i mention he was sloppy? lol! i know you would not be that way. instead you would be soft and gentle and a little awkward. i laugh just thinking about it. the scrubble on his face hurt mine. hes adorable, but i still like you. i just need to get away from you. not be obsessive. i will not become obsessed. i swear. iono. i just had to tell you that.
oh and another thing. i think that when you find that person, not only does your hand fit perfectly, but you fit perfectly as lovers. and that, wasnt tonight. almost disappointed, because i have been lusting, imagining what it would be like to kiss him. This makes me almost not want to kiss you or be friends with you cause it would only disappoint me. i like keeping the image i have u the way it is.
Do you want to play with fire?
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jus4fun06
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2006 7 May :: 9.58pm
sometimes, i am just too shy
 i cant get you out of my head. plain and simple. seeing you drives me crazy, drives me wild. i think i may, actually, get the courage to hang out with you. maybe we can have some fun. maybe you will say yes. but i am deathly afraid youll say no. i can hear you saying no. i can see you exploiting me, holding my soul out bare for all to grab hungerly. They will tear me apart. i know you have that power. i can tell each time you make those smart lil marks. "stop flirting in concession" but is it the old clique that you are mean to the ones you like? you. only you, have i made fun of despite the fact i like you. i think i can cover up all the feelings i have of you just by being mean. sometimes we are nice. but its only when no one is around. i think of each lil thing. everyone and rip it apart, looking for some hidden meaning. something, anything to hint one way or another. i have at least part of you figured out, but the rest is a mystery. not only to me, but everyone else. dear emily telling me she cant even imagine you with another girl. she cant tell me wither or not it is even wise to try. but i think i might. maybe not this week with finals, but the next week. when you are free. maybe, just maybe we can spend some time together. i know we wouldnt be able to tell anybody. i know how dangerous that is, but ill gladly keep you a secret if i must. before anything, i want to at least be your friend. complete one step before the other. i want everything to go right this time. but i cant try now. no. its so wrong. i need to losen my grasp. i need to get away. i hope this week, apart, is the medication i need.
-- horoscope --
Luxuriate in your own emotions today as opulent Jupiter in your sign participates in a wonderful love fest. Your optimism can easily overflow and even be contagious; however something may be gnawing away at you from the inside. This negativity can be just a passing thought if you are willing to be flexible in your thinking. Once you know the source of your anxiety, you'll be able to easily move past it.
Do you want to play with fire?
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jus4fun06
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2006 7 May :: 1.08am
fuck. i was talking about you today and it was the wrong person to tell. fuck. i know you hate me. i know i dotn matter. but i have so much hope, that we could possibly, maybe end up together. i can see you being so sweet. i can see us togther, as a couple. im only mean to hide my true feelings, to make you give me attention, all the cliches... you drive me more insane cause you weave in and out of my thoughts when i only want you gone. i know i have no chance so i wanna give up. forget it, but i cant.
i picture us together. youre so sweet. i picture us holding hands and doing all that couples do. i can almost feel myself kissing your lips. my fingers running through your hair. feeling youre strong arms around me. i can imagine touching your chest. your breath by my ear. i can also imagine us fighting. you angerly slam your truck door and drive away, furciously swearing. but i can also see us making up. exchanging our "im sorry"s.
everything about you is so damn perfect. in fact, youre the first guy that i am actually shy about. i just wish we could be together. and it torments me that i cant in any way.
Do you want to play with fire?
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jus4fun06
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2006 5 May :: 1.50pm
:: Mood: optimistic
i think about the future more and more each day. I think of all the things i could see and be apart of. I cant wait to start everything a new. no one will know me. no one will expect anything. i can be all i want and no one will get in my way. i will be the quite, meek person ive always wanna be. i can eat lil and noone will think i am ill. no one will call me. no one will tell me so much hopingill care. i know so many people's dark secrets, but some days they seem so much. i dont wanna know. i wanna be surrounded by people, but untouched by them. dont want them to penitrate into my world. i need to concentrate on my studies. make me a life. a single, lonely life, but itll be soo less complicated.
Do you want to play with fire?
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joslyn_julia
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2006 19 April :: 10.57pm
well, hmm... what to say. nothing i guess. i hate it here, i want to be working... i should probably stop drinking.
hmmm.... i thought i would write to clear my head, but idk. I managed to probably get myself a black eye, through a tackle that backfired. i don't care tho.
tomorrow... i am debating on going to class. since 1. i hate the class, and 2. it is a waste of time. we will see how i feel in the morning, since class doesn't start until 10.
but for lack of better things to do... here is a fucking awesome poem.
Have a nice life:
i received one kiss for the duration of the trip and it was loveless as if made by lifeless lips. Thes lips are sealed you bitch, so keep that one locked up because it's all that you'll get. Your life (in my eyes) isn't worth my time on the five-hour flight. Have a nice life and thank you so mcuh for ruining mine. I hope you and Daniel are living it up, and i hope you don't miss me and don't give a fuck. Because I'm sure with my luck this will happen again and someone will replase the distaste created by the sound of your name. This could be the last chand i have to elaborate and display the choices i made and the patiently waiting i did for the day when you'd say that "my feelings for you are quickly receding, almost as fast as your heart is beating". When it stops they will stop, when you drop then I'm off to get on with my life and leave yours with the ghost of the past.
-Kenny Vasoli
The starting line
Do you want to play with fire?
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joslyn_julia
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2006 19 April :: 12.58pm
Well, i am 19 and none of you bitches wished me a happy birthday... which makes me glad that i don't talk to almost any of you anymore.
Being home last weekend was nice. it was really good to see dani and lisa and matty. not so great to see other people. it's funny how actions really do speak louder than words. maybe people should try and synchronize what they say with what they do, so then it doesn't seem so hypocritical.
7 burns |
Do you want to play with fire?
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joslyn_julia
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2006 9 April :: 1.10pm
is this like sex?
After you die...
Poltergeist
After death, you will become an enraged poltergeist. You will choose not to follow the light, but instead torment whoever happens to co-exist in the same space as you. Your anger will never diminish, but you will find solace in destroying expensive china.
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Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com
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5 burns |
Do you want to play with fire?
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joslyn_julia
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2006 5 April :: 2.28pm
josie and tequilla shots don't mix well. my head fucking kills.
Do you want to play with fire?
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joslyn_julia
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2006 1 April :: 8.52pm
*sigh* *evil grin*
Your results:
You are Catwoman
| Catwoman |
| 80% |
| Batman |
| 75% |
| Supergirl |
| 75% |
| Hulk |
| 75% |
| Superman |
| 60% |
| Spider-Man |
| 50% |
| Wonder Woman |
| 50% |
| The Flash |
| 50% |
| Robin |
| 48% |
| Green Lantern |
| 45% |
| Iron Man |
| 35% |
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You have had a tough childhood,
you know how to be a thief and exploit others
but you stand up for society's cast-offs.
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Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...
Do you want to play with fire?
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jus4fun06
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2006 1 April :: 10.58am
today was the first time in a long time that i looked you square in the eye. i saw the lashes that lined each one. it filled me with an overwhelming feeling that i cant put away. i want to hide this. i want to lock it away and forget about how much i would like to be with you. each day you grow more and more perfect in my eyes, but i know it will never be. and because you know and everyone else does too, you try to distance your self farther and farther away... i wont be able to stand it much longer...
Do you want to play with fire?
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jburt1
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2006 27 March :: 12.51am
What I've been up to...
I'm pledging a co-ed business fraternity.
I'm tampering with being an activist.
I'm not getting paid enough.
I'm going to Rome this summer.
I'm searching for answers.
I'm trying out the marketing thing.
I'm slowly dying.
1 burn |
Do you want to play with fire?
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joslyn_julia
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2006 24 March :: 4.58pm
i'm feeling very angsty today.... i really want to throw up. and i absolutely hate that all people seem to be fucking idiots.
*rolls eyes* gawd it's going to be a long day...
1 burn |
Do you want to play with fire?
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joslyn_julia
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2006 23 March :: 6.28pm
i'm sad... someone should call me in like 3 hours and cheer me up. or just post something on here....
p.s. kelly is a loser and i am upset with him
p.p.s. i will be home for easter weekend, due to the fact that my birthday is April 15th, just in case you care...
2 burns |
Do you want to play with fire?
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