joslyn_julia
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2005 12 June :: 10.43pm
so i am sitting here, thinking that i need to just not care about the whole thing with mister and be like whatever. so i am trying to find the version of psycho killer that they always play... but i can't find it. i can only find the original which is by the talking heads. damn
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joslyn_julia
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2005 11 June :: 10.36pm
hello despondence.
here i am again.
i hope to leave soon, never to behold your dark embrace again
1 burn |
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joslyn_julia
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2005 11 June :: 10.02pm
:: Mood: crushed
:: Music: the smiths-- asleep
so i am really out of it again. i want to sleep, don't wake me up, i don't want to eat. just sleep and ignore the world around me. it turns out rei has a girlfriend. that would have been nice to know when he was telling me that i am beautiful and blah blah blah.
i am such a fucking stupid child. why would anyone like me, and why did i actually believe that he would seriously mean any of what he told me. he was just trying to get tips. fuck, i hate being alone and i want to have something so much that it hurts.
i was all by myself at the coffee shop, so i finished my drink and left to come home and just broke down in tears. i don't want to wake up on my own anymore. i scratched and dug my nails into my arm just to release this hurt. make it go away....
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joslyn_julia
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2005 9 June :: 4.59pm
so i can't help but think. how the fuck am i going to get my computer??
1 burn |
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joslyn_julia
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2005 9 June :: 4.23pm
so i just talked to my room mate and she definitly rocks. she is in track and she is really nice.
god. i am excited for college!
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joslyn_julia
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2005 9 June :: 3.40pm
:: Music: Bright Eyes- Lua
Food at last
so i am now a vegitarian, but my parents wouldn't get me food to eat... so i just went and bought food. unfrotunatley none of it is all too healthy and it mostly consists of breakfast. so i can eat lots of breakfast and veggie dogs and veggie buffalo wings w/ blue cheese.
haha. if i could only give up dairy too... i guess i will have to wait until i am in the big city that i can go and eat like california rolls and shit.
oh, i will be so pretty by the time school starts. i will find love
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joslyn_julia
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2005 8 June :: 3.08pm
i love having a pool
i love working out, and i love the possibility of getting some
3 burns |
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unbleachedblond
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2005 7 June :: 4.16pm
well isnt it toasty warm outside? summer has finally arrived.
good luck jessa! god be with you!
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fatman
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2005 6 June :: 12.00pm
Why is money so hard to get?
1 burn |
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joslyn_julia
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2005 5 June :: 11.05pm
so, i am that girl
you know, the perfect girl... the one that nobody notices because they are too full of shit looking at outward apearances.
when really, deep down, the only thing i want is to care for someone
to be the person who they run to everynight, just because it was the best comfort they can get. i want to listen, i want to feel. i want to be heard and i want to love again, is there anyone who will let me love them??
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joslyn_julia
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2005 5 June :: 10.30pm
so, the open house went well. kells stopped by, as did lizzy, pj, chris, lisa and some others.
i went and saw rei afterwards, and then again today.
he called me darling. i want to just like listen to him all day, because i just like being around him. he is a nice mysterious guy. and a very hot one. haha. yeah. any ways.... i am very excited about this summer.
i am now a vegitarian (for you kids that don't know) and also i am going to start modeling again, here sometime this summer. starting next month with my test shots to update my portfolio and jessica's photography portfolio. haha, yeah they might get me a wedding dress, and rei said he would be the groom, if we paid him to, so he can pay his bills. haha, that was a very odd and random situation done more in jest than actually being serious. fuck me. i love grand rapids and MS75
i look forward to me being a party girl all summer.
i love the summer, and i will love this fall even more so.
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jus4fun06
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2005 1 June :: 9.33pm
i hurt so much. for so many reasons?? hard to explain. you dont wanna hear the details... i think my bed has to do with it. lol!
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fatman
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2005 31 May :: 11.42pm
Love and peace
5 burns |
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jus4fun06
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2005 31 May :: 3.50pm
http://www.geocities.com/bakagnome/loz.mp3
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