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yeah i'm crazy but i get the job done.

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:: 2002 18 November :: 11.06 pm
:: Mood: content

an empty reply.
all that shows is that you are still reading.

things aren't so bad anymore. you know that i get too emotional about stuff sometimes. not even half of what you do. but still...

the only thing i can think when i think about you is i am glad i got out when i did, i realize now how miserable i could have been and what a waste your life is.

1 feet on the ground | Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


:: 2002 15 November :: 11.50 pm

you've forgotten me back home. they forget me here. so what am i still waiting around for?
I HAVE NO REASON TO EXIST.

looked over and over looked. poured out into the sea of nothing. i can't find your eyes anymore.

2 feet on the ground. | Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


:: 2002 15 November :: 5.48 pm

why am i still here? i'm tired of people not looking one another in the eyes. i'm tired of life.

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


:: 2002 15 November :: 5.28 pm

i wish he knew how much he hurts me. i can feel myself being deceived.

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


:: 2002 15 November :: 1.06 pm

it feels great to forget but then hurts to remember.

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


:: 2002 14 November :: 5.49 pm

damn it whatever i have just as much right to be here as anyone else and about twenty billion times more right to be here than him and if he squaks his beak one more time i'm gonna smash it in i hope they realize where this is going before its too late there's only trouble brewing here and i can smell it i just wish that someone saw things in the way that i still do until i realize there's no hope because i'm the only one left beliving this way i'd like to think i've seen my share and as i add up the calculations i cant be too far off so why cant anyone else see that disaster is brewing people are just drawn to people that properly feed the parts of their egos that are hungry and feel like they need to be fed there is no point to the game at all there is no way to win you only find the break even point the equalibrium of supply and demand for affection and emotion and protection and sex because really thats probably what it comes down to in the end so theyre probably pissed that i broke in the middle and sat down and did my own thing in the middle of their little cuddle fest but i dont give a fuck because i can see through the open window that are my eyes to the socialization of college living and people and fucked up relationships
but maybe i dont know shit.

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


:: 2002 14 November :: 5.35 pm

"what it is that doesn't make sense
seems to me to be the most worthwhile
and then when you say
that you can only appreciate what makes sense
you make no sense at all
what makes sense is that the shortest distance between two points
is a straight line
and you measure out the steady steps that it takes
for you to get there.
but what happens when something monumentous is in your way?
and what do you do then?
when your path is broken but something immense changes your course?
and then it becomes that what is beautiful
is what is senseless
and maybe the scenic route
is what provides you the most
out of those careful calculated, steadily measured steps."

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


:: 2002 14 November :: 3.35 pm

damn, if i do that i'll be just like everyone else.

i haven't really tried that before and i'm not quite sure that this would be the best way to start.

my class-walking partner seems to have neglected me again. i really wanted someone to talk to.

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


:: 2002 14 November :: 3.15 pm

yes perhaps i should just follow this plan. i like him well enough. i could have a very suitable life. everything according to plan. my family at least would be satisfied with the arrangement.

but then maybe i am taking this too far.

i just need to turn ahead a few chapters in this book. see where it is that i finally end up.

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


:: 2002 14 November :: 1.15 pm

yeah. happiness isn't the issue. it's all about practicality.

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


:: 2002 14 November :: 11.10 am
:: Mood: indescribable

ahh...so maybe this is what it feels like to be torn between two lovers...
actually, you'd think it would be easier since one seems to want nothing to do with me most of the time...hmm.. but its not.
what was so scary about that conversation was that too much of it made sense...it fit the plan...alarming because i think we both recognized how feasible it was, it might actually work. but would that actually make me happy?

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


:: 2002 12 November :: 9.48 pm
:: Mood: contemplative

"i saw as you turned your head
in your eyes
the scent of recognition
the familiarity
as the words played sounds that you knew you'd heard before
as you recognized
those simple eyes
that swept across your forehead
because i couldn't
look
you in the eye."

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


:: 2002 12 November :: 5.58 pm
:: Mood: confused

"what if i'd been born
fifty years before you
in a house
on the street
where you live
maybe i'd be outside
as you passed on your bike
would i know?

in a wide sea of eyes
see one pair that i recognize
and i know."

"there's an old man
who lived into his nineties
and one day
passed away
in his sleep.
and his wife, she stayed
for a couple of days
and passed away
i'm sorry
i know
that's a strange way to tell you
that i know
we belong."

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


:: 2002 12 November :: 5.52 pm

and so annie waits annie waits annie waits
for a call from a friend
the same
it's the same, why's it always the same?
annie waits for the last time
the clock never stops never stops never waits

she's growing old
it's getting late
and so he forgot, he forgot
but maybe not

annie waits for the last time
just the same as the last time
annie says, you see?
this is why i'd rather be alone

1 feet on the ground | Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


:: 2002 12 November :: 5.50 pm

"by not admitting what i mean to him
he's denying who he is"

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


:: 2002 10 November :: 6.19 pm

i found this a bit surprising, do you?



What is your Alter-Ego
Personality?

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


:: 2002 10 November :: 7.30 am

I am sick, I am sad.. I am dying.

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


:: 2002 7 November :: 5.40 pm

"and wouldn't you have to agree...
we'd have the most beautiful children...
with bright eyes and thick hair
a perfect little
herd
of
sheep."

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


:: 2002 7 November :: 2.50 pm

and as i stood there, left alone, i attempted to muster up the courage to cry. it wasn't until that moment that i realized that all of that is gone. i've blocked everything out for so long that i am no longer capable of feeling. i am numb.

i wish that wasnt true.

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


:: 2002 6 November :: 11.59 am

INDIE1
How can I label you?

brought to you by Quizilla

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


:: 2002 1 November :: 9.34 pm
:: Mood: restless
:: Music: Sixpence None The Richer- Breathe Your Name

The part of you that's part of me will never die, willl never leave...
i said i don't like snow
i don't like to feel it
when its cold outside
and he said he could show me
show me what warmth is
and he held me
and lifted me up
until my baby hands
too close to the sun
became fire red
instead of milky white
maybe i didn't understand

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


:: 2002 30 October :: 5.18 pm
:: Mood: bored

GENERAL INFO
Time: 5:18pm
Birth Date: 8-17-84
Name on Birth Certificate: SteFanie AnnE
WildE
Age: 18
College: Western Michigan
Location: well, my room...my dorm...
Email : jedibumblebee@bolt.com
Color of Eyes: baby blue
Hair: blonde with red, orange, and brown streaks...like a calico kitty
Fantasy Height: fantasy...hmm...i think either 4' 11" or 5' 7"...one extreme or the other.
Shoe Size: 9-ish
Brothers/Sisters: frequently
Bedtime: always

--HAVE YOU EVER--
Ever been so drunk you blacked out: never!
Put a body part on fire for amusement: hahaha...not recently
Been in a car accident: kindof
Been hurt emotionally:every day
Kept a secret from everyone: every day
Had an imaginary friend: sure
Wanted to hook up with a friend: totally...
Cried during a movie: occasionally
Had a crush on a teacher: no...
Ever thought an animated character was hot? hmm...spongebob is pretty sexy...
Had a New Kids On The Block tape: my first "tape" was Sublime...I was a little punk.
Cut your hair: again, frequently.

FAVORITES--
Shampoo: i'm not real picky, to be honest. i just want it to smell ok.
Color: olive green NOT purple.
Day/Night: def night
Summer/Winter: summer please
Lace or satin: eh
Cartoon characters: i am a spongebob fan. and dexters laboratory.
Food: chocolate chip cookies. and peanut butter and jelly bagels.
Advertisement: that snickers commercial! where he says "ooh..a clamshell!"
Movie: West Side Story or the New Guy
Ice Cream: mmm...moosetracks.
Subject: uhmm...sociology.

--RIGHT NOW--
>Wearing: i'm all punked out...green day tshirt, bubblegum jeans, leopard-print tennis shoes
Drinking: i want some juice but that requires doing dishes so that i have a glass to drink out of...
Thinking about: I told my class that reading the newpaper makes me happy? how retarded am i? what shoud i do for halloween? i should be writing my paper... i'm afraid i'm in love... i'm feeling lonely. i might want to eat dinner soon... i shouldnt have skipped my econ class today. i need to call nick, and my scholarship sponsers.... ok, there's a lot running around.
Listening to: in the middle of changing between Elvis vs. JXL- A Little Less Conversation and Michelle Branch and Santana- The Game of Love.
Talking to: jessa, sortof
Watching: CTN. all the time.
>*--WITHIN THE LAST 24 HOURS--
Cried: nope
Worn a skirt: as a part of my halloween costume last night.
Met someone new: yeah.
Cleaned your room: I am always tidying.
Done laundry: unfortunatly no. I am a college student.
Drove a car: nope.
>
--DO YOU BELIEVE IN--
Yourself: occasionally.
Santa Claus: perhaps
Tooth Fairy: i'm out of teeth.
Angels: sure
Ghosts: perhaps
UFO's: yeah
Jesus Christ: sometimes

--FRIENDS AND LIFE--
Like anyone?: i love everyone.
Who's the loudest?: me.
Who's the weirdest?: me.
Who do you go to for advice? i dont take advice from strangers.
Who do you think about most when you're not online?: you know its you.
Who do you cry with?: i dont cry.
When did you last cry?: its been months since i've cried effectively.
What's the best feeling in the world?: i'll get back to you on that.
Worst Feeling?: loneliness.

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


:: 2002 30 October :: 1.38 pm
:: Mood: accomplished

i just wrote a 7 page research paper from scratch in under 2 1/2 hours.

go me.

1 feet on the ground | Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


:: 2002 28 October :: 8.27 pm
:: Mood: chipper
:: Music: Sophie Ellis-Baxter- Murder on the Dance Floor

If you think you're getting away, I will prove you wrong...I'll blow you all away...
YEA-H! I'm doing good in my classes!

Thank GoD for stupid people and the grading curve!!

Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.


:: 2002 28 October :: 8.14 pm
:: Mood: amused

HAHAHAHA

manic kisser



You Are A Manic Kisser!


You've kissed your brother's friends and your friends' brothers...

In fact, you've kissed almost everyone in your circle (plus a few strangers).

You're a total kissing fool - just make sure you don't look like one!



How Do *You* Kiss?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

1 feet on the ground | Go ahead, you can laugh all you want.

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