i posted this quote from a book a long time ago but i love it so i'm doing it again:
My mind is blank now. Every part of my body is sinking and empty. I don't have to think about anything, hear anything, say anything, feel anything, worry about anything.
...there are no job interviews, no hypocrites. I do not have to... socialize. I do not have to smile. I do not have to justify my beliefs. I don't have to wear dress shoes. I don't have to pledge allegiance to the flag. I don't have to use a number two pencil. I don't have to read the fine print.
...it is true that it is nonproductive. But when ninety-five percent of out-of-bed activities hold the possibility of pain, to be pain-free is simply the most delicious feeling in the world.
-not mine
________________________________________
i'm reading through old entries. it makes me sad...
JESS this comment from you made me laugh hard.
"10-30-07 7:52am
jess i'm wearing my glasses today to cover my face lol
ttyl
"
do you remember that?
and this is funny to me
"now if only i could get myself to start fricken working out . seriously. i need to get serious about that. i really really do. i just feel like a moron in front of all those muscley guys. eww and i don't want to run on the tredmills and fall on my face like on a tv show. i'd be so embarassed. and it would hurt. i can't run on those treadmills. i'm not coordinated enough to do that and listen to my earphones and sing MY hUMPS in my head and watch the tvs with no sound and worry about what people are thinking of me and check my heart rate all at the same time.
HOW DO YOU PEOPLE DO IT. HOW DO YOU RUN ON TREADMILLS.
and that m y friend is the question of the day. how DO you people run on treadmills.
"
why do i feel so bad when a person who says they are a missionary from khazakstan that tries to help people from drug abuse and absitence before marriage etc. comes into my work and tries to sell me a pretty windchime and i refuse?
why do i feel so guilty?!!?
i only had 10 bucks on me and they were 15 and up.
the saddest part is i probably would have bought one if i had the extra 5.
i cannnnnt saaaaaay noooooooooooooo.
...isn't khazacstan the country borat was from? well... she didn't look like borat.
"Being gay is somehow an indulgent choice? It infuriates me. You're either Graham Norton or George Michael getting arrested in parks and I'm neither of those things. I think it appeals to the lowest common denominator that basically there are two types of gay men, the slut, or there's the straight acting guy. Neither of these things have anything to do with penises, or cocks in mouths or any of the things that are related to being gay."
- Former Savage Garden lead singer Darren Hayes, speaking to Gay Times magazine about gay stereotypes on television.
If I didn't come up as an ass from time to time, I wouldn't be me.
Additionally, I did not have all the facts, but needing to be an ass does not require all the facts either.
Part of me wants to continue, wiht much to say. But I do not have the will power for that (because it would be bunch of unfounded claims that would be nothing more than ficiton).
So instead I will say I am sorry and disappear again.
Random thoughts: -i am hungry- I get to buy groceries tomorrow yeehaw- I want to see stefs puppy- I want a new vacuum cleaner soooo bad- I have to get my new passport and license tomorrow- I can never sleep at night anymore- I am excited to start school and wear scrubs- I put up (past tense) with SO much for you, you idiot.- I wonder if you know deep down that you really did a lot of bad things, you were/are such a jerk and so fake, it really sucks because when you're not like that you are pretty fun - where did they all go? - I wonder if that really is why and the doctors are wrong and it will be a problem. I can only pray that it won't.- why does my kidney area always hurt like a sharp pain ... Not good.- I'm married, isn't that weird!?!? Hahahaha- and that concludes the random list of thoughts going on in my head.
depends on my mood. When I am awake and ready to go out then it would be hip hop/rap etc, when i'm ready for bed it's classical, when i'm sad it's r&b/pop
Band or singer?::
ummmm i dont know
TV show?::
greys anatomy
Movie?::
i guess step brothers
TV channel?::
?
Radio station?::
none
Place to be?::
out with friends/ family
Thing to do?::
be iwth friends/family
Food?::
pizza/chocolate
Non alcoholic drink?::
diet pepsi
Alcoholic drink?::
bahama mama, vodka and sprite
Animal?::
dogs, cats, swans
Holiday?::
my bday or christmas i guess i duno
Season?::
spring summer or fall
Sport?::
sport? hmmm
Place to shop?::
vanity, forever 21, charlotte russe, marshalls, old navy, target... theres many
Clothing brand?::
none
Scent?::
as far as perfume- enchanted orchid from BBW or baby phat umm i can't remember what its called but i love it
Restaurant?::
olive garden or frankie v's
Fruit?::
apples or bananas
Vegetable?::
potatos, corn
Fast food restaurant?::
arby's i suppose
Pizza topping?::
none, just cheese really
Ice cream flavor?::
mint chocolate chip
Magazine?::
i duno
City?::
haven't visited enough to know
Color?::
blue
Number?::
2
This or that...
Chocolate or vanilla?::
chocolate except for cake or ice cream
Pepsi or coke?::
diet pepsi
Hot or cold?::
?
Black or white?::
black
Dog or cat?::
dog
French toast or pancakes?::
french toast
French fries or onion rings?::
french fries
Hamburger or hot dog?::
hamburger
Pepperoni or sausage?::
pep
Britney or Christina?::
britney
McDonalds or Burger King?::
burger king
50 Cent or Eminem?::
Canada or Mexico?::
canada i think
Hug or kiss?::
hug
Movies or TV?::
Truth or dare?::
Do you...
Shower daily?::
yes
Sing in the shower?::
no
Like to sing?::
in my car
Like to dance?::
yeah
Smoke?::
no
Drink?::
on occasion
Cuss?::
sometimes
Talk to yourself?::
not really
Believe in yourself?::
?
Play an instrument?::
yes
Go to school?::
starting on the 27th
Go to college?::
" "
Have a job?::
yeah
Like your job?::
most of the time
Want to get married?::
am
Want to have kids?::
yes
Get along with your parents?::
yeah
Get along with your siblings?::
yeah
Drive?::
yeah
Random...
Do you think you're trustworthy?::
yes
Think your funny?::
sometimes
Ever toilet papered someones house?::
yes
Gone garbage can tipping?::
no
What are your parents names?::
stacey and michael
Siblings names?::
brandon shannon stefanie
Do you wash your hands frequently?::
yes
How many time a day do you brush your teeth?::
2
Collect anything?::
no
Ever been in love?::
yeah
In love right now?::
yeah
What color pants are you wearing right now?::
grey
How does your hair look?::
up in pony tail
Ever had your heartbroken?::
yeah
Ever broken the law?::
yeah
Been arrested?::
no
Been out of the country?::
yea
Can you stick your fist in your mouth?::
no
When was the last time you got drunk?::
umm i cannot remember
Do you do drugs?::
no
When was the last time you were high on anything?::
Today I went to the beach with Jessie G. At first I didn't like being there because it was too stormy. However, then I took off my braziere and flailed my toe around. I felt great!
After lazing around for a while she and I decided to play ring around the rosy. This is when we met Jamal. He was so hairy. I felt like puking! He said to me, "You can't get me!" and I calmed right down. Kristi told me how lucky I am that he said that to me.
We all decided to go to Arby's. I ordered a French Fries. It was pretty gross but when Gilbert spilled tarter sauce all over his jeans my Diet Pepsi flew out my nose. I was so embarassed.
Today is my wedding day, I am getting married to Shannon. He proposed by cruelly telling me he licked me and presented me with a blue ring decorated with 45023096ducks. How could I say no! We are having the wedding in Ada Community Reformed Church where we will eat lettuce and chocolate milk. The dress is scary and heavenly and the bouquet is a mauveboat. Jessicascreamed the bouquet into the air and it hitJessie. She got knocked out and had to be escorted to Walmart. All in all, my wedding was a very crazy day.
a random idiot i ran into today!
so i'm trying to do this new routine every morning just a quick workout because our complex has a small gym room with some equipment and then after that take my dogs for a walk.
so anyway i get to the "gym" and start on the elliptical and it keeps saying "motor unplug" which it did this the first ti me i ever used it like after 15 minutes , but i just got off , unplugged and replugged it and then it worked fine...
but today i kept replugging it and finding different plugs and it just would not work so instead i used a bike thing for like 10 minutes and then tried the elip again and it finally worked... so i did my workout on that and then .... this is the whole point of my story...
i walk back to my apartment and get the dogs and here i am walking, and i walk out of the apartment area/property and start down a road that turns into a housing development with pretty nice houses and i'm like just getting to the road with the houses, minding my own darn business with my dogs, and this stupid BITCH pulls up in her car and rolls down her window and says to me,
"You better be picking up after your dogs!"
and I say, "what?"
and she says "I dont see you holdin' no pooper scooper ! (notice the poor grammar which just made me more annoyed)
and i'm like "umm i have baggies right here! thanks!" (because i have the little clip on baggie holder-)
keep in mind my dogs are 6 and 12 lbs- they are not big dogs- they really dont create a lot of waste- i dont have to carry around a fricken SHOVEL to take care of the mess my dogs make... i'm not going to wheel around a fricken trash bin with me either ok.....
gAWD she was a stupid bitch!!!! i wanted to punch her in her fricken mouth. i called her a bitch after that but i'm not sure if she heard me because she was starting to pull away. i just HOPE she felt like a stupid bitch after she did that. how rude! i wasn't even doing anything wrong.
and she just put me in a horrible mood and UGGHGHGH i hate people like that!
::
2009 2 July :: 1.08am
:: Mood: thug
:: Music: best i ever had
got a house but i need new furniture why spend mine when i can spend urrs? ?
Baby you my everything you all i ever wanted.
We can do it real big.
Bigger then you ever done it.
You be up on everything.
Other hoes ain't never on it.
I want this forever, i swear i can spend whatever on it.
Cause she hold me down everytime i hit her up.
When i get right i promise that we gon live it up.
She make me beg for it till she give it up.
And I say the same thing every single time.
I say you the fucking best.
You the fucking best.
You the fucking best.
You the fucking best.
You the best i ever had.
Best I ever had.
Best I ever had.
Best I ever had.
I say you the fucking.
Know you got a roommate
Call me when its no one there
Put the key under the mat
And you know I'll be over there
(Yup) I'll be over there
Shawty, I'll be over there
I'll be hitting all the spots that u ain't even know was there
Ha. And you ain't even have to ask twice
You can have my heart or we can share it like the last slice
Always felt like you was so accustom to the fast life
Have a nigga thinking that he met you in a past life
Sweat pants, hair tied, chilling with no make up on
That's when your the prettiest
I hope that you don take it wrong
You don't even trip when friends say you ain't bringing Drake along
You know that I'm working I'll be there soon as I make it home
And she a patient in my waiting room
Never pay attention to them rumors and what they assume
And until them girls prove it
I'm the one to Never get confused with Cause.
Baby you my everything you all i ever wanted.
We can do it real big.
Bigger then you ever done it.
You be up on everything.
Other hoes ain't never on it.
I want this forever, i swear i can spend whatever on it.
Cause she hold me down everytime i hit her up.
When i get right i promise that we gon live it up.
She make me beg for it till she give it up.
And I say the same thing every single time.
I say you the fucking best.
You the fucking best.
You the fucking best.
You the fucking best.
You the best i ever had.
Best I ever had.
Best I ever had.
Best I ever had.
I say you the fucking.
Sex, Love, Pain
Baby I be on that tank shit
Buzz so big i could probably sell a blank disk
When my album drop
Bitches will buy it for the picture
And niggas will buy it too and claim they got it for they sister
Magazine paper girl
But money ain't the issue
They bring dinner to my room and ask me to initial
She call me the referee
Cause I be so official
My shirt ain't got no stripes but I can make yo pussy whistle
Like the Andy Griffith theme song
And who told you to put them jeans on
double cup love
You the one i lean on
Feeling for a fix then you should really get yo pheen on
Yea just know my condo is the crack spot
Every single show she out there repping like a mascot
Get it from the back
And make yo fucking bra strap pop
All up in yo slot until the nigga hit the jackpots
Baby you my everything you all i ever wanted.
We can do it real big.
Bigger then you ever done it.
You be up on everything.
Other hoes ain't never on it.
I want this forever, i swear i can spend whatever on it.
Baby you my everything you all i ever wanted.
We can do it real big.
Bigger then you ever done it.
You be up on everything.
Other hoes ain't never on it.
I want this forever, i swear i can spend whatever on it.
BOTB 15
40) Kaiser Chiefs - Never Miss A Beat
39) Snow Patrol - Take Back The City
38) My Morning Jacket - Two Halves
37) Flight of the Conchords - Think About It
36) The National - Brainy
35) Robert Plant & Alison Krauss - Please Read The Letter
34) Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Heads Will Roll
33) The Decemberists - Valerie Plame
32) David Byrne & Brian Eno - My Big Nurse
31) Nine Inch Nails - Discipline
30) The National - Fake Empire
29) TV On The Radio - Family Tree
28) The Hold Steady - Constructive Summer
27) Snow Patrol - Crack The Shutters
26) Coldplay - Viva La Vida
25) Vampire Weekend - Mansard Roof
24) Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Zero
23) Augustana - I Still Ain't Over You
22) The Hold Steady - Sequestered In Memphis
21) Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds - More News From Nowhere
20) Death Cab for Cutie - Bixby Canyon Bridge
19) Green Day - Know Your Enemy
18) M.I.A. - Paper Planes
17) Snow Patrol - Please Just Take These Photos From My Hands
16) Jenny Lewis - Acid Tongue
15) My Morning Jacket - I'm Amazed
14) TV On The Radio - Golden Age
13) Fleet Foxes - White Winter Hymnal
12/11) The Decemberists - The Wanting Comes In Waves / Repaid / The Rake's Song
10) Augustana - Sweet & Low
9) Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds - Jesus of the Moon
8) Jim James & Calexico - Goin' To Acapulco
7) Regina Spektor - Us
6) The Hold Steady - Stay Positive
5) TV On The Radio - Dancing Choose
4) We Are Scientists - After Hours
3) My Morning Jacket - Evil Urges
2) Jenny Lewis - Next Messiah
1) Vampire Weekend - A-Punk
