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I'll love you like it's the last day of my life.

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phil-himself

:: 2010 7 January :: 10.55pm

Dickbutt

2 Hit it! | What would you do oo ooo for a Klondike bar?!


valoth

:: 2010 7 January :: 12.28am

Trying to not give in to old habits...reoccurring ones.

I want to do something everyone would probably think is really stupid to do. The timing seems like it could be right though. Ugh. I hate it. My stomach turns just thinking about it, and my heart says just freaking do it. My brain says no. My feet dont go. So...what to do. Sheesh.

FUCKSALT

Love, Forgiveness, Chocolate?

1 Hit it! | What would you do oo ooo for a Klondike bar?!


m&ms487

:: 2010 5 January :: 9.07am
:: Mood: awake

I love the sound of your breathing as you lay next to me dreaming.

I went and purchased my books for the start of my second-to-last semester here as an undergraduate (I'm not counting the two classes I'm taking this summer).

It really wasn't bad as far as cost goes, but Ancient Literature has 11 books.

This semester I'm taking:

FRN 202: Intermediate French II
ENG 261: Ancient Literature
PSC 375: Socialism, Liberalism, and Fascism
PSC 321: The American Chief Executive

I'm pretty excited. It's the first semester that I've only taken 12 credits. I'm trying to go light after last semester's 17. I figure French will take up its fair share of time, and although the other three classes are two and three hundred levels, I feel like I might get a lot out of them without doing much homework other than reading. We'll see.

After this semester I will have 112 credits. I need 124 to graduate, but I'm going to end up with something like 128. This summer will be my two biology classes to finish up my area requirements for my Bachelor of Arts degree which will take me to 118, and then I'm looking into taking nine credits next fall with one graduate level class that will count as graduate credit as to make me a full-time student.

A year from now I will be starting graduate school, and then hopefully getting a post in Teach for America. By the end of all this the plan is to have a Master of Arts in English and one in Education.

Or, I could just give up, get pregnant, work at Meijer for my entire life, and waste away as an intellectual person. I think I'll choose the first.

What would you do oo ooo for a Klondike bar?!


valoth

:: 2010 1 January :: 11.29pm

The things we learn...sheesh.

What would you do oo ooo for a Klondike bar?!


joslyn_julia

:: 2009 31 December :: 2.49am

this is me being pissed.

grrr....

somedays i just don't understand why he even bothers, especially when i seem to just be a nuisance...

What would you do oo ooo for a Klondike bar?!


gillette

:: 2009 27 December :: 11.13pm
:: Mood: blah

i have a million thoughts swirling around in my head about everything, but i can't figure out what to say first. i guess this only thing i can get out is that i feel.....i don't know. i can't write this entry.

What would you do oo ooo for a Klondike bar?!


valoth

:: 2009 26 December :: 11.31pm

Here I am, there you are.
How did we ever let things get this far.
I have no money, I have no car.

I like you but the distance is too far.
You may sulk, you may soar, you think like before.

A time gone past, those ways don't last.
Cherish the moment.
Just try to make them last.
We definitely need atonement.

-------

In other news I fucking love this song, I dont know why!
Empire of the Sun- Walking on a Dream

What would you do oo ooo for a Klondike bar?!


valoth

:: 2009 24 December :: 11.42pm
:: Music: "I See You" by Leona Lewis

Haunted
I see you.

What would you do oo ooo for a Klondike bar?!


valoth

:: 2009 23 December :: 10.58pm

Jade is my color.
I try to not look at times past. I try so hard. I hate myself when I do think of them.

I try to live by the moment. For the now.

I forgive. I forget....too much.

I am flawed. I am broken. I am human.


To those who fell away. May my deeds be forgiven.
To those who are around, thank you.
For those who would give up on me. So be it, your choice. I cannot stop you.

1 Hit it! | What would you do oo ooo for a Klondike bar?!


m&ms487

:: 2009 23 December :: 7.45pm

"I have a life that did not become,
that turned aside and stopped,
astonished:
I hold it in me like a pregnancy or
as on my lap a child
not to grow old but dwell on

it is to his grave I most
frequently return and return
to ask what is wrong, what was
wrong, to see it all by
the light of a different necessity
but the grave will not heal
and the child,
stirring, must share my grave
with me, an old man having
gotten by on what was left"

-A.R. Ammons, "Easter Morning"

What would you do oo ooo for a Klondike bar?!


spud

:: 2009 21 December :: 2.18pm
:: Mood: kinda stressed

My birthday weekend.

both gigs went well this weekend. friday was definitely more fun for me. saturday didn't really pan out at all how i hoped, but i still got a couple drinks from people, which was nice. the mix didn't sound very good for the first set or two on saturday because the bartender kept coming up to me and barking orders at me. seriously, the second time he came up to me and asked me to "turn it down... mostly the drums" and i kindly explained to him that i had no control over the loudness of the drums, and that if he wanted things quieter (as i had already acquiesced to his prior request) he would have to go ask the drummer to play more softly. as it turned out, i just told the drummer i was going to mix around him from then on... since the mix sucked because i brought the mains down... and that he would be the benchmark for whatever volume we wind up at. i also mentioned that we had a request to "turn it down," but that i wasn't his boss, so i wouldn't tell him what to do. he did play a little softer, which was actually nice for him, since it wasn't so much of a workout that way.

ultimately, though, people are dumb. especially people in charge of bars. you cram an acoustic drum set into an alcove with a big glass window and a tile floor and expect it to NOT be loud? that's just plain stupid.

friday night was fun, though. a total jam. it was so nice to play in front of a crowd, with other musicians. there's just something magical about that combination that makes it so much fun. the bass player had a nice pocket, so it was really easy for me to settle into a groove pretty much right away on every song. the hardest part was taking cues for changes, stops, endings, etc. especially from the guitar player. what a dick. i agreed to give him my vocal mic, so he could run his amp through the PA, and during sound check it was fine, but he kept turning his amp up throughout the show, so that by the end of the night it was waaaay too loud. and he was terrible at giving cues. it was like he expected me to somehow magically just know what he was thinking, and do exactly what he wanted me to. utterly ridiculous. diego's cues were much easier to follow. and my performance on the respective songs showed it. every song that roger led wound up being kind of a trainwreck. and did i mention that it really shouldn't have been, since every single one was the exact same 12-bar blues. i wanted to shoot myself. he did one that was in 6/8. that was kind of exciting. but then he still fucked up the cues, so i had no idea what was going on. diego's got the right idea, though. you start together, you end together, and you jam out in the middle. that's how it works. and you communicate effectively where the changes are TO THE ENTIRE GROUP so that everyone is together. otherwise, you wind up with what roger gave us, which is diddly, and sounds bad. also, there were several songs (most notably rock and roll by led zeppelin) that i had to drastically slow down, because roger was old and couldn't play that fast. i had not practiced at those speeds, which made it feel strange. then, he left early and didn't help tear down, because he had to work in the morning. but in the end, diego paid me extra, so he must've thought i had done a good job, and he said that anytime he needs a drummer, i'll be his go-to guy. so that's cool.

i was supposed to work today, but the truck is no longer road legal, as i have no registration OR insurance for it. so i emailed the office, and explained the situation and that i would not be able to work today. hopefully they got the message and understand.

i was kinda pissed at them anyway, because usually they ask me if i'm available before they schedule me. this time, they scheduled me without asking, saying that someone would call to confirm with me on saturday. i never received a phone call - still haven't. i was never asked if i was available (which i am obviously not, for one reason or another). i don't think i'm in the wrong here. i do feel bad in that i should have told them sooner, but i was holding out on the hope that i'd get enough birthday money, and have enough leftover from the gigs to take care of all those issues. unfortunately, that did not wind up being the case.

and my fucking loan payment is due in a week again. i haven't heard back at all from that deferment request i submitted.

all in all, life is bullshit, but i'm still trying to make the most of it.

2 Hit it! | What would you do oo ooo for a Klondike bar?!


valoth

:: 2009 21 December :: 11.23am

Where'd all the good people go?!

Be content. FFS...

What would you do oo ooo for a Klondike bar?!


m&ms487

:: 2009 20 December :: 5.54am

I think I might regret going to work today. Two people have not been showing up and we have Santa bucks today. I think I'm going to be alone at the Service Desk all morning. FML.

1 Hit it! | What would you do oo ooo for a Klondike bar?!


skife

:: 2009 17 December :: 11.30pm

Dear santa clause, Go fuck yourself.
I'm depressed because;

My wallet is empty
My paycheck is spent (can't even cash it until tomorrow)
I can't buy anybody christmas presents this year.


I know how "Tennessee" Earnie Ford felt when he is singing "sixteen tons"

4 Hit it! | What would you do oo ooo for a Klondike bar?!


skife

:: 2009 16 December :: 10.31am

woke up scared to death at 5am or so.

had this weird dream, i was hanging out in this housing development with kelli and jordan, and then i remember jordan's mom called, so i got into an old ford bronco and went to pick her up or something and then this henry guy called and he called all night, telling me things about myself freaking me out, then he said he'd be there in 20 minutes. i really didn't want to stick around to see who this guy was because i thought he was going to kill me, then while i was driving my truck got sucked backwards and kind of spun twards a tree and my door flew open and i flew out and face first right twards a tree. i remember the tree vividly.
the next thing i remember is seeing a bunch of white letters on a black background in a weird font. i was speaking gibberish and then i woke up.



about an hour later jordan woke me up saying i was talking gibberish while sleeping.


i hate dieing in dreams, it freaks me out.

3 Hit it! | What would you do oo ooo for a Klondike bar?!


spud

:: 2009 15 December :: 2.32pm

why, hello there...

so, my birthday's coming up pretty soon here. that's exciting. i keep getting older. funny how that works.

so, if you want to come celebrate my birthday with me, i will be down at flanagan's on saturday, running sound. i'm technically on the clock, so i can't get totally wasted or anything, and i might be preoccupied from time to time, but once the mix is set, there's not a whole lot for me to do, and i can certainly chill with people during set breaks. so, if anyone's around, and that sounds appealing, feel free to stop on by.

we have lots of cookies in our house now. uncle chuck made molasses cookies, and mom gave me a random assortment of other cookies, so we have cookies coming out our ears. and unfortunately, far too many of them are winding up in my mouth. fucking christmas, man. always does this to me. not that i'm really that into watching what i eat, but i try and keep it healthier when i can. and this cookie situation is not helping.

but they are delicious. so i might as well enjoy it.

ummm... went to libby's choir concert last night. that was fun. the choirs weren't bad. i think she got kinda shafted, though, when she was placed in the choir she's currently in. she deserves to be in the next level up. i know she has the voice and the talent for it, but my guess is that her test anxiety kicks in when she has auditions or something. but i could be wrong. another theory i have is that it's because she's only a sophomore, she's a transplant to the school system, and our family doesn't have lots of money. those all probably factor into it as well. which is sad for her, and pisses me off. but that's the way egr works. and i blame mom for trying to make it in a place where they don't really belong. and i thank my stars that i never had to go there.

not that cedar is the end-all be-all or anything. every school has its fair share of shortcomings. but at least i felt comfortable there. felt like i was somebody, and knew people. anywhere else i would have been really intimidated, and would have been one of the faceless masses. not that she has that problem. she has lots of friends no matter where she is. she's just that way.

i need to make some phone calls and write up a cover letter. boooo......

What would you do oo ooo for a Klondike bar?!


joslyn_julia

:: 2009 13 December :: 1.12pm

it would figure... i quit smoking and now my lungs are ablaze with sickness. I feel like i am dying... and finals are this week. ugh.

dont
want to
be
awake.

1 Hit it! | What would you do oo ooo for a Klondike bar?!


skife

:: 2009 13 December :: 1.47pm

cameras ezwatch - TCP 5150
99.148.141.102
TCP 5160
99.148.141.102
TCP 80
99.148.141.102
TCP 8000
99.148.141.102

6 Hit it! | What would you do oo ooo for a Klondike bar?!


phil-himself

:: 2009 12 December :: 9.10am

you get me my cheeze wiz boy?

What would you do oo ooo for a Klondike bar?!


m&ms487

:: 2009 11 December :: 9.14pm

So, I guess I'm getting a C+ or B- in my linguistics class depending on how she decides to "reward" an increase in an exam grade I got in the middle of the semester.

This is not good. It technically counts toward my English Major GPA, but Linguistics is not really English and this teacher was HUGE on phonology.

Well, I guess I'm never going to be a linguist. Not like that shattered any dreams of mine or anything.

The only thing I hate is that I didn't see this coming. I thought all the exams were easy but I got low B's a now a C- on this last one. We were only graded on four exams for this whole semester. I was going to go and talk to the prof, but I was sure that I would do really well. Guess not.

It just frustrates me that I know my way around literary theory and I can synthesize a theory in a matter of hours and have an A essay written in the next few after that, but I can't seem to reconstruct proto-languages or explain the grammatical rules of Ebonic thoroughly (these things may sound hard, but trust me, they're pretty easy).

Good-bye 3.79, it was nice knowing you...

What would you do oo ooo for a Klondike bar?!

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