Faith Isn't Faith Until It's All You're Holding On To.

:: 2005 30 December :: 8.05pm

I'm rich bitch

Say what??

:: 2005 30 December :: 5.46pm

Puddin Flop (as Stacy/Dani says)
Last night once again was fun as always. Like Stacy said this is mostly just going to be more for my benefit than anyone else's. I went and hung out at Danielles house with Big Nasty, Ryan Case, Dan, Tyler, Shane, Dustin, and of course Stacy. Stacy and I decided we wanted to make bacon randomly and we had the worst time making it and then like an hour later we were finally finished. "The dacon is bangerous" lol one of Stacy's wonderful lines. Then at like midnight we went to IHOP and I said I wouldn't ever go there again after what happened to Erika and I but I went anyways since I wasn't just going to not go with my friends and it wasn't all that bad. Our waitress was extremely weird and we were all trying to be nice and all of the sudden she asked someone at our table "how they wanted their meats?" and I looked at everyone and they were all trying not to laugh and all of the sudden I just busted out laughing and I made Ryan and Dan bust out laughing too. She was definitely odd. And then when Ryan, Tyler, Shane, and Dan went by the Rockford Church some kids threw snowballs at Shanes car and they stopped and got out and beat them up. It was pretty funny to hear about but I didn't see it since I wasn't riding with them and at first when they called us we didn't believe them but it really happend because when we got back Dan's face had a huge hole in it and was bleeding and Ryan's face was swelling up. I couldn't believe it and then on the way to IHOP a cop pulled them over because Shanes lights went off because Ryan said "they were jammin' too hard"...I don't know but I just couldn't stop laughing last night. We always have some great times.

I should get going though because I'm hanging out with Logan, Emily, and Justin later.

So everyone have a good weekend.

<3 Ashley

3 Say what??<3 | Say what??

:: 2005 30 December :: 1.56am

Dacon is bangerous.
Tonight was fun. Hung out with Ashley, Dani, Ryan, Tyler, Big Nasty, my bro, Shane, and Dan. (I am naming people in my entries lately so I can remember whenever I read through this. It's for my own benefit, so ignore it.). We hung out at Dani's house for a while, then went to IHOP. I hate that place with a passion, but the group made it fun. Those kids were hilarious. I love being around fun people. And I love to laugh. It's so nice.

I can't wait for new years. :) It shall be a good time.

Edit>> I know I am updating a lot lately about pretty much the same things. This journal is becoming more of a thing for me to read and look back on memories. I know who I hung out with and what I did doesn't matter to you, but it matters to me. And it is my journal after all. So, if it's annoying... "like be a big person and get over." Haha, only a select few will get that one.

3 Say what??<3 | Say what??

:: 2005 29 December :: 6.54pm
:: Music: Rent Soundtrack - Rent

105.4!
Going out once again. I'm tired and grouchy and I wouldn't have it any other way, because of the reasons I am. That makes no sense to you, but it does to me. So, fuck off.

For break starting off so completely terrible, it seems to be ending well.

Who would of thought I could actually be happy and stay happy?
What the hell is this?

It's well deserved.

5 Say what??<3 | Say what??

lilschaub

:: 2005 29 December :: 4.37pm
:: Mood: lazy

http://www.hartgems.com/proddetail.asp?prod=71%2D0119

If anyone cares thats the promise ring Nathan gave me for christmas!! Its so pretty. I love it and I love him. I am having a great christmas break but I just dont want to go back. But if you think about it its just about 4 months and then I am out of here. Which is the best thing ever. I am so excited for college. I am just glad that I found Baker its just so perfect for me and its going to be great because nate will be there with me. Well everyone have a good and safe new year!!

4 Say what??<3 | Say what??

:: 2005 29 December :: 3.47pm

I'm confident I can download just about anything.. so if you need anything along the lines of:

books
programs
games
movies
music
h0tpr0n
etc etc

let me know

1 Say what?? | Say what??

:: 2005 29 December :: 3.28pm

Stop, stare, and watch me burn. Someday it'll be your turn. You can't fool me. I can see all the things that you didn't want me to see. You threw my heart away and thats the price I paid. I know it's never fair, you promised me you'd always be there but you never really cared.

2 Say what??<3 | Say what??

:: 2005 29 December :: 12.07am

I love my friends so much. You guys crack me the fuck up.
But, seriously..without friends like the ones I have I'd be a wreck all of the time.

Thanks for being there.
I can't wait to dance on our party bus! ;)

I really need sleep. Going on two days without it, but I've hit the point where I am so tired I have crazy energy. Eventually I just have to fall asleep. Right?

5 Say what??<3 | Say what??

:: 2005 28 December :: 11.53pm

What the hell am I supposed to say to that? Seriously. I don't think I have ever been so shocked in my entire life. That is the nicest most weird thing ever.

Stacy: I have to tell you something and I know what you told me wasn't supposed to be anything exciting but my news is. It's actually pretty much top secret. No joke.

2 Say what??<3 | Say what??

:: 2005 28 December :: 7.55pm
:: Music: Rent Soundtrack - Love Heals

Big Nasty rocks my world.
Well, I just got done hanging out with Devin. There's just something about that kid. He's really...I don't even know. Just interesting and different. And I like it. Don't get me wrong now kittens. We're just friends and nothing's going to be rushed. I just think he's cool and I'm glad I'm getting to know him.

I have still yet to sleep and I won't be sleeping until probably tomorrow 'cause I'm hanging out with Jess, Erika, Heather, and Brandi tonight. But, I don't mind.. I love those bitches.

Ashley: I need to talk to you! It's nothing important so don't get exctied. I just have to ask you a question. Ok, little spears? Hehe.

Anyway, life is good right now. Really good and I am so happy.

8 Say what??<3 | Say what??

:: 2005 28 December :: 11.23am

Last night was so much fun. I love you Stacy, Mishy, Dani, and Brittani. Devin and Ben were also pretty awesome guys. Nate on the other hand, let's not go there. Stacy and I are sluts, we rocked their worlds, end of story. Kidding we aren't. We stayed out all night and we went to Morningstar, Vertigo, and Skelletones. It was so fun. We met Trisha, Natalie, and Brittani there too. Dani is the worst driver ever. I'm not kidding. We almost died a few times. She just drives downtown in GR and she doesn't even stop at red lights or stop signs. The worst part about it is that she doesn't even realize that she runs red lights and stop signs. So I figured that most of us didn't really want to die so I made sure to tell her where she needed to stop and go at. We went to Bens at around 1 and I was playing video games with Mishy and at first she was losing so she just quit and I didn't really realize this until afterwards but I got so into the stupid game. They have this video of me and I'm like freaking out while I'm playing it. It was hilarious. Anyways we didn't get home until like 4:30 and I slept probably about three hours so I'm sort of tired but I'll be okay. I had so much fun and we are going to do it again.

"Use my strong hand"

"105.4" lol

I didn't realize that if you wear a skirt in the middle of winter, it made you a slut but then again what do I know?

12 Say what??<3 | Say what??

:: 2005 28 December :: 10.57am
:: Music: Rent Soundtrack

Last night was so much fun. I love you Ashley, Dani, Mishy, and Brittani. Oh, and Devin & Ben (BIG NASTY) as well, haha. We just stayed out all night driving around, going to coffee shops, and just hanging out. It was so great. I'm running on about an hour of sleep (or less), but I don't care. I'll be leaving to hang out downtown in about two hours anyway. I don't know why I'm talking about this. It's just.. I was really happy last night. Everything was just nice and we all had so much fun and got along instantly. I didn't really like Devin the first time I met him, well more of how he was online, but he's actually a really cool kid. And what Mishy and I talked about is true. He's a junior, give him a year and a lot of things will change.

I need to learn to give people a chance.
And I will.

We all need to hang out again, soon.

Now I'm sad that break will be over in like a week.. :(
Let's all just pretend we had no idea and never go back to school. Sound good? Hey, if we all do it, it could just work. Just gotta have faith!

Anyway, yeah.. shower..food..~~sleep~~.

4 Say what??<3 | Say what??

:: 2005 27 December :: 7.43pm

Say what??

:: 2005 27 December :: 9.58am

I think I'm actually happy. Honestly.

Of course I'm gonna have my bad moments where I feel lonely, but being single right now is good.

Highschool relationships are usually bullshit anyway. Even if people say they aren't, they are. I only know of two couples that I think are actually good.

I like that I can do what I want. I can go to a party if I want to. I can hang out with guys. I can ask for a guys numbers if I think he's cool. I can call guys and talk. I can just do what I want without asking if it's ok and that feels so good.

I want to date at the age when it will be a mature, adult relationship and the goal will be marriage, not getting laid. It seems pointless to me to date when the goal isn't being together forever. Sometimes it's just a time kill for people. Or just so they won't be alone. Maybe they're in love with someone else, so they trick themselves into thinking the new person is great, which he may be.. but, you're still thinking about the other guy. Whatever it is...it's bullshit.

And I can say right now I have not had one mature relationship in my life. In one we fought too much about stupid shit that didn't matter at all. The other he quit on me because I "couldn't see him enough" the other one.. he had no back bone, another one.. well he was just a moron. Etc. But, everything was just weak and no one tried to fix a problem that was barely even a problem at all.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not bashing people who date in highschool. I'm just saying for me, it's not right, right now. And it shouldn't be the focus of my life. I can be happy without a meaningless guy by my side.

I can't believe I begged for him to stay. What the hell? Right now, I've never felt so good to get rid of someone so bad.

4 Say what??<3 | Say what??