Stupid fucking Catholics
I screamed at the top of my lungs this morning to calm myself from killing my "family".
Then, I was brought to tears 3 minutes before I had to leave for school. I quickly had to dry my tears, fix my makeup, and put on a happy face. My happy face went away within a minute, when I went downstairs, because the stupid little people were intentionally pissing me off again. So it was more of an angry face all day.


Drama. First Brittney Kelley was off getting candy so our group could not start for 10 minutes. Shaun left to go to Becca. Brittney came back and went off talking to Jill or someone. Shawn did not want to come back. We got Brittney back, dragged Shawn back, and demanded that they work. Shawn decided to act hungover and stupid or something and Roxanne and I quit. Suddenly Brittney "Decided" to work, and said that WE were stupid and not working and making the group terrible or something. I was about to fucking punch her with the mood I was in. Then someone ran to Theil. We need to work out our differences because we can not only work with who we want. That was all she said.





Math: mathish and not too bad



English: we listened to Odyssey on tape. The guy sucked at reading. Not too bad.


Social Studies: We had a fucking sub I absolutely hated. I sit in the front and he kept looking at me like I was stupid or something. Then I was the first done with my quiz and handed it in. He looked disbelieving and said "There IS a back." "Yah...your point?" was my response. I was also one of the first actually done with homework and just kept staring at me as I sat there and read my book. Then a chick brought him food, so he was eating Dorritos very loudly and chugging a soda. I was annoyed.



lunch was loud.



Choir people are stupid and I did not have the energy to sing high so I was flat on one song. There are a total of 4 altos I can actually hear that do not sing soprano and hit right notes.




Science: I have been cynical latey..... But Andrew Wareheim was about to die. I got a hundred on the stupid quiz we took today.



Gym: 300 yard dash......Like I said I did not have energy today. My legs began to hurt and I twisted my ankle. I think my energy went away with my screaming all day.


I got invited to a banquet thing for my "academic achievements". Students only. I hope more people I know got one too.

I am fucking peachy. How are you?
There is a movie party at Kaylene's. I can not go. Not until my mom knows the "truth about the pills". She will not believe they are pain killers. She did not even see them. Stupid bitch.



Luckily Mishelle is smart. And awesome. She will make me a "Pain killer" herself. Just if I take it I die. Oh well. A sacrafice I am will to make = ).




Sorry Nicko, but I am near to becoming a murderer. Just not with my boobs. Sorry ~_-

.... I don't know if it is just me or what, but people are becoming increasingly stupid lately. Or, I am becoming more irritable. Maybe both. But the mom assumes that I was taking Prozac dailey and got addicted, and my body is having a kind of psychological breakdown of sorts. Stupid bitch. *twitch*



I know who invented the pencil sharpener! Do either of you know w/o looking? I believe we had SOME stupid pneumonic(sp?) device for it. Everything in fact... But I entered! This was not even my topic! WOo meeee!!!!



I am very tired lately and never rested. I am sore. I almost wished Andrew Wareheim would have been super stupid today. Just so I had an excuse to kill someone. But he was somewhat behave = (....



Today in Science, Logan (Mr.) was being inconsistent. I do not know why, but it was driving me insane. We have VI(initial velocity) and VF(final velocity). He was putting(sp?) Vi and VF. For some reason I had to have them both be lowercase or both uppercase. I complained. He fixed it and was sure to stare at me and see I saw. Then halfway through, he forgot and did it again. I was about to kill him.



In music, I was about to kill the teacher. She wanted up to sing loud and stuff...but we were to be monotonous...Impossible....Then Kirsty was singing Soprano and she is the only Alto I am by. She was doing it intentionally to piss me off or something. She is very grred at now...I ahve reason to believe she was spreading all sorts of rumors about Rochelle and Josh..*twitch*




The little boy took all my fucking valentines.


Jordan came and gave me a burned Blink cd. It made me happy.


I am thinking of bed. Though I have tons of homework. It is 9 and I am so fucking drained. Neck and back hurt.....

FUCK.
My mom said she would wash my coat. She didn't and put it on the little kids' pile. So I emptied everything out and washed it last night. This morning, me being stupid, I forgot about all my stuff till after everyone was up. The little people went through my stuff and found the ONE Prozac I had left. I totally did not think any were left. They then ran to my mom. JOY. I claimed it was a pain killer and stuffed my pockets with IBuprofen (which I should have taken for my back. Stupid me..) and she did not believe me. But I left all quick, fast, and in a hurry. As I was walking, it turned out my lip thing came unscrewed. So I ended up losing my pink spike = (. JOY. Then school started.




First I had the super stupid test. It is only 25 questions, 6 points for each right answer, 2.5 for each left blank, and 0 for wrong. I understood like 6.

FUCK. mom home. I will continue later. MOBILIZE!


Alright. English....I did not get any credit on my flash cards because I had 19 out of 20. So my grade dropped.




Socials Studies....WW1...I knew all the answers and that is becoming my favorite core because it it so simple due to lack of activity.


Music: We were so quiet. The notes were supposedly right, and I got a thing right when she said "This is do. Sing sol." Yay me. Concert next Tuesday.


Science: math skills.....acceleration



Gym: I ran the mile. Everybody else running is slightly fit, and then there was me. Only 4 girls ran today. Everybody was all watching us and stuff. We did shuttle run today; I will make it up tommorrow.

Thank god my day was over.




I do believe I am getting sick. I kept coughing up brown chunks that felt like they came from my lungs...then I sneezed during each coughing fit. Weird combo. I am all sore and have been for some time. I keep puking. But it is the puke when you puke, but it is not enough I guess, and it ends up being swallowed. It makes my throat burn. I am incessantly cold.


I began to cry around 5:30. I have no clue why.



I am going to bed now.


*sneeze*

My Senshi Colors Are: Blue: Emotional, Sensitive, Dreamy Brown: Practical, Intelligent, Stable Get Your Senshi Colors At SailorOrion.com

Find your Realm of Influence at SailorOrion.com

It is coming baaaaackkk!!!
Yup. My AFI-manianess is returning yet again. I got VERY amused when I actually went to the boards(I had not been there for nearly 2 months) and found a post by Jade the guitarist. It goes as such (and I quote):

"Sorry To Burst Your Bubble...
but Davey is not gay. Or bi. Get over it. Just because your friend heard he was gay or you read it on some message board doesn't make it so. However, since I've made posts like this repeatedly over the years and people still refuse to believe he's not gay, I guess we'll have to keep hearing about it ad infinitum. I say we talk about Fritch. Or Smith. They're DEFINITELY gay, I caught them holding hands and plus they went to the prom together.

Also, my friend heard YOU were gay."



I don't know why. That cracked me up for nearly 5 minutes.




I just saw Silver and Cold. Twice. Within 20 minutes = ). And on the FUSE Grammys, AFI won SO many things they were not even nominatd for. It rocked. I clutched a big alligator to me and jumped over the couch and sat immoblile for the entire 4 minutes and 5 seconds of the video. It rocked.




I will be watching the Grammys just to see if they win the ONE (*angry*) award they are up for.


I also watched the History of No Doubt today. They are like my second favorite band.



Call me obsessed and I will reply "Who me? NEVER!" numerous times = )


I also like Finger 11 and Incubus lots.


My computer turned off 3 fucking times in an hour! I got SUPER pissed the third time and through a HUGE temper tantrum = ). Then AFI kept winning stuff, so I screamed more. My voice hurts. WOOO!!!



I want to be a tenor. To bad I can't. Especially since I'm in an all girls choir...




I am bored. This will probably not be read anyways. Strictly for my own enjoyment = ).


Name: Jessika!!!

Where do you live: Montana. Unfortunately. But you all know that, right?

how long have you been a fan?: not sure

What afi cds/eps/vinyls do you own?: BSITS, All Hallows, AOD, STS...

First afi song you heard?: initiation or wester

First afi shirt you bought? and how many do you own?: 1, my beloved purple wings!

are you a member of the despair faction?: not yet = (

favorite afi cd: MAYBE Sts....

least favorite afi cd: Umm....I don't like BSITS as much I guess

favorite afi song: Hmm....Days of Phoenix...But Home is Nowhere..Death of Seasons. SYNESTHESIA!

least favorite afi song: I don't like
Dancing Through Sunday

afi song that most relates to you: Umm..

favorite afi lyrics or lines from songs: My journal Title!

favortie afi quotes: Dunno

what member you would like to meet the most and why: Davey. I used to be obsessed....Glad I got out of that stage


and lastly, what afi tatoo would you get?: Probably the nephilim. It is overdont but looks awesome. Or just a simple "AFI"

Old people are gross. I wanna swing.
Damn Alan got me thinking. Damn you Alan.




My mom won't send me to Florida. If only I could get to Florida then I will be able to go see AFI.




People are stupid. Them and alarm clocks should be pounded with giant mallets till death. Very violently. All of 'em.



Remember the Titans is a good movie.


Fuck George Bush all to hell. He can take his conservative money specnding ways with him. And all of the Iraqis too.


I am becoming a recluse again. You need to get me out of my home. Yes, you. All of you. I will get all depressed and hate everyone soon. It is already starting to set it. Fuck you.

Daria!!!
OMG!!!!!!! Daria is on Beavis and Butthead!!!! My two favoriteist shows of ALL TIME!!!! *dies*









*laugh till death* Oh dear, this show makes me laugh uncontrollably.

I am never good at subjects.
I FORGOT SOMETHING!!
I was waiting at the bus stop and a fight broke out across the street where the smokers hang out. Like 10 feet away from the school. After this guy beet the hell out of another guy, he got into a car that was waiting there: His mom's..his mom was sitting there watching him fight and did absolutely nothing about it all.....The bus ride home was full of discussions of what to do if we were that mom. We are a bunch of losers.




Today was very tiring. I was also hot all day. Not sure why.



At the prep assembly I got to sit on the floor in a chair!!!!! WOOOO for speech/debate!!!! I felt special ^_^....though I could not see over this swimmer's VERY ugly mullet...yes, the swimmers got haircuts. Most shaved their heads bald, 'cept mullet boy. It looks disgusting.

On that subject, Mark S. is a swimmer. Which means he is bald. Not only do bald guys look funny, but his best feature was his hair. = (....I touched the baldness, though! It feels cool! But I want a shirt that says "Bald guys suck" or something. Meant to be dirty, or not. Whichever I can depict the best.




Guess what!!! I get to get out of drama and math class (periods 1&2) to take....a MATH TEST that is very difficult!!! JOY!!!!!!!! *eye roll* I am in Kynett's honor class. So we were automatically entered in the "American Math Contest". Christie is in the same level math, but HER class doesn't have to do that!! I hate math!!! = (


Hmm....I think that is all....homework time....joy...*sarcasm again*

Ewwwieeee!!!!
I choked up more blood this morning. It was yucky. First it was just more like bloody spit. Then a huge fucking clot came up from my throat. I am pretty sure it did not originate there, however. Where the hell was it from??




I woke up at 4:30 this morning. Even I can not sleep as long as I thought. I had to get up. Too much bed time = a lazy me. I did not do most of my homework. I hope my teachers understand. But I doubt it.

Woohu.com is in green and yellow letters! Trippy!!!
I had a dream. It goes as such: I went to an AFI concert and found Ed(NO clue why...) I asked him to hold my money because I had no pockets. It was around $40. We were sitting there watching the concert, yet I wasn't really watching it. I have no clue what I was doing, but I could not see the stage or anything. Rather weird. We were up front, but left to go explore the building place. It was a big usually deserted place in the middle of an empty field. It had like 3 floors and the concert was in the basement. There were then 2 balconies, all with crappy views, and a big sign that said "Screwers Zone". Orgys were everywhere. Ewww. We got grossed out anf left. So we went to the big field and I found Gwen and Shell and lost Ed. Shell had to run because her parents were gonig to kill her because they drove up like 1 mile away and expected her to be right there, but she wasn't. (Stupid Mishelle!!! Not being a mindreader and such) So she ran after the car and miracualously caught up to it. I was sitting there with Gwen and I think Shayla. Gwen had a motorcycle and took us on a ride. We ended up nearly hitting a bunch of fences and flipping over them instead. I was very scared of Gwen's frightening driving. I found myself very very thirsty. I had Gwen take me to Ed and asked for my money. He showed me a receipt for alot of stuff, like drinks and munchies, meaning he spent all my money. Brittney Kelley was there with him. I got very pissed and was about to pass out because of dryness of mouth. I was going to kill them. But Gwen handed me a coke or something, so we just left and went into the concert. We went down into the "Middle Class" section. We were like 5 rows from the front and Gwen had painted my face with white makeup and black stars over my eyes and another on my forehead. Davey picked 3 people from the crowd with faces like that. Not me. They each got to pick a song. And they all were calling him Kayla. I believed in the dream that ha was Kayla and it wasn't until I woke up that I realized that was wrong. You could hardly see the other band members. Next he picked people with huge elephant masks on. Shortly after I woke up.




No read if you don't want to hear yuckiness.


I am staying home today. Last night I wished my stomach would take itself away from me because it hurt so much. I even cried for like 20 minutes due to the pain. At around 9 I began to puke. Now it gets gross. Yuck was coming out of both ends and I puked in the garbage in the bathroom. Then I found out the garbage was WEAVED so my puke fell onto the floor. I called in the little bot and had him bring me something...he brought the kitchen garbage. So I puked an0other 20 mintues or so then had to clean up the mess on the floor and almost puked again. I then went to bed and slept for 13 hours. Harley is sick so home to. Marty is here, but ot sick. She does not even know why she is here.

Die bitch. DIE.
I FINALLY saw POTC!!! Thank you Raab!!! Wooo!!!! That movie made me laugh = )



And.....I think that is it. Tata.

I hate myself.
I depressed myself again. Woo me. Because of it I am becoming distant and such. I won't even tell Alex what I was talking about. But now I forgot, so no bother. So he called me a bitch and such and I know I am. But oh well.


I am really capable of nothing. I don't allow myself to be. I am stupid.




Ohh...and my boobs had ANOTHER growing spurt. JOY. Now I have a bigger bra...good thing I got more today. FUCK MY BOOBS.





I got my mom to like AFI. We went shopping for too long.


I am going to go make deviled eggs. Ta.

I am still not done with Les Mis essay. Yay me! But almost.


I coughed up loads of chunky clotty blood today. It was rather gross.


I want to do the mock trial thing. But....I have nobody to go ith me. I WOULD ask Michelle...but noo...she wouldn't = (



I am curious still about AB.....we could have gotten Josh to fill in...it would have worked...But whatever...





I think I am getting sick. I feel as if I am about to puke and I have aches everywhere in my body. BOO.


Now that I have stayed home, I never want to go back to school.




Harley and Marty's grades went down alot. So the mom was pissed. Nearly every grade they got went down to a D. Most were C's and B's. I feel bad for them(almost)...I got all A's in 5th. Oh well.







*puke* is what I feel like doing.

Mission!
K. I need a boyfriend for another guy. He seems desperate. Any suggestions?






On a different note, I worte the drama skit thing. I am new to that class.....I hope I did ok....I got bored at the end, so it has no conlusion. Oh well. I just need to type now....3 pages front and back...*Hopes length is ok*





I have to write an essay on Les Mis. *barf* It is due tommorrow and not written = ). I am going to say how like Jean's life became complete through the love of Cosette and hate of Javert because you need both to live a full life. *barf*

I have math, science(math skills!!!!), and history.





Which brings me to my next point. I seriouslt do not know why I have too much homework to do now..(my teachers are conspiring with the quizzes!!!), but I have decided to stay home tomorrow. I told my mom it was too cold for me to go to school. After a while she gave in, so yay I get to stay home.

Roxanne, if you want the skit, let me know soon so I can email it to you tonight or morning!!!


And last, NEVER sign up for Academic Bowl as Freshman. I thought it would go by grade/intelligence level for rounds. Thursday we go against Andy Salonen and them: Juniors...some of the smartest students in the school as well. And nearly all policy debaters. JOY.



Keep warm!

Dark magician. You love the dark because of it's
beauty and just the life that no-one else sees.
Mysterious, calm, quiet... But that doesn't
mean you're not friendly!

Please rate ^^


What kind of dark person are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Well.....what a coinkydink...... Nick? TAKE!







Drama is going to bug me incessantly. Stupid people in it. I think the class itself should be worth going through stupid people, though. I hope. My Science class rocks now. Gym will suck. I have Allyson (the new one) in 2 of my classes: English and gym. She seems awesome.



Alex(ander?) seems awesomely cool. I like Woohu friends. They rock.


I hate Ashli Brasda and Cassidy. And I sit by both of them in Choir. *shudder* Immaturity sucks and drives me up a wall. I literally begged Nitschke to change me, and she said talk to her tomorrow.



Askley K. and R. are out of my English class. YAYYY!!!!!





I seems rather anti-social nowadays. Yet I still do come across as friendly. And I am lost as to why.

Woohoo more me! = P
Unless I find a ride on time, I can not go to Mishelle's house. So probably not. Have fun without me! And Roxanne! And Gwen for a while!




Yesterday upon the stair,
I met a man that wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today.
I wish to hell he'd go away!

Don't mind me updating lots....
Things lately have been...weird...

First, I can not seem to stay awake. I get up at 5, take a shower, then go back to sleep till 6:30. Then I get up, get dressed, and sleep till I have to leave. Then I fall asleep in first and second periods. I come home, and take a 3-4 hour nap. I can not help it...the next thing I know I had fallen asleep and it is like 7 or so. Then I go to bed around 9 and do it all over again. I am literally sleeping my life away.




I have had the STRANGEST thoughts(why is there an H in that word?!) and dreams lately..Like I had a dream today...it was very odd...and then I fell back asleep..and reamed again. This time I was talking to Shell and she slapped me for having a dream...like she would because she knows too much...and then I explained how it was nothing bad...just weird..then I told her about the dream I had had in my previous dream, yet I was still dreaming..then I woke up and could not remember the first dream at all. But it did not have very many friends in it. And part of it was like a normal day at school...yet it was different somehow..something was just very strange about it all...my thoughts have either been morbid or very contemplative. I don't have an example, they are just weird for me.

I need to get out of the house and go somewhere besides school.


Today my puppy came up to my room around 9 and would not leave me alone. Finally she got me to downstairs with her and she STILL won't leave me alone....

You are a PHOENIX in your soul and your
wings make a statement. Huge and born of flame,
they burn with light and power and rebirth.
Ashes fall from your wingtips. You are an
amazingly strong person. You survive, even
flourish in adversity and hardship. A firm
believer in the phrase, 'Whatever doesn't kill
you only makes you stronger,' you rarely fear
failure. You know that any mistake you make
will teach you more about yourself and allow
you to 'rise from the ashes' as a still greater
being. Because of this, you rarely make the
same mistake twice, and are not among the most
forgiving people. You're extremely powerful and
wise, and are capable of fierce pride, passion,
and anger. Perhaps you're this way because you
were forced to survive a rough childhood. Or
maybe you just have a strong grasp on reality
and know that life is tough and the world is
cruel, and it takes strength and independence
to survive it. And independence is your
strongest point - you may care for others, and
even depend on them...but when it comes right
down to it, the only one you need is yourself.
Thus you trust your own intuition, and rely on
a mind almost as brilliant as the fire of your
wings to guide you.You are eternal and because
you have a strong sense of who and what you
are, no one can control your heart or mind, or
even really influence your thinking. A symbol
of rebirth and renewal, you tend to be a very
spiritual person with a serious mind - never
acting immature and harboring a superior
disgust of those who do. Likewise, humanity's
stupidity and tendency to want others to solve
their problems for them frustrates you
endlessly. Though you can be stubborn,
outspoken, and haughty, I admire you greatly.


*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla



WOW it took me a long time to get this.....first Internet Explorer was not qorking and had to close, then I got sidetracked by various stuff......






SO happy semester is over. Drama on Monday! WOOO! I got a 68% on math final. = ) Luckily it changed my grade down a whole PERCENT, so I got 85. Yay. I got a's in all classes but math and debate(B's) so woohoo.


Tired. Very Tired.

Today was shit.
First off, math test today drained my brain. And it was the first test. BAH. Then after school Shell and Roxanne could not ride the bus. Which just pissed me off. So I went to East alone. And they would not let me in. Mrs. Kloppel "suddenly has a new rule this year" that we can not come back. Yet they alwyas tell us to. So I found Katie and sat. For 40 fucking minutes. I enjoyed talking to the Bum, and Mrs. Howell. Ohh...and Mrs. O'Terro (or however her name is spelled) and she misses all of us AAHKBer's. OH YAH! It made me feel special. And she said it was not right that Maggie got 'recruited' for it this year. She sends her greetings. though. Then to top it all off, some 7th graders as I was leaving were all like "Are you GOTHIC???" I stood there puzzled for a sec then got pissed and was all like "YES. I sure am gothic. Maybe if you wait a second longer I will even suck your blood." *pissed off look at them again* As I was walknig dowen Central everyone was looking at me as if I was a freak of nature. So I went down to 5th instead.




DAMN I AM TIRED

Fuck you all!
GOD I am getting sick of mankind and the stupid "phases" it goes through. Everyone is doing everything they can to piss me off today, whether they know it or not. I mean seriously: GET A FUCKING CLUE! I am sick of pity, I give up on attemtping to be sympathetic, especially if you will never care in the end. FUCK YOU HOLY SHIT GOD ALMIGHTY GO TO HELL!!!!!!! ~Directed to about 4 people I can think of~



But I keep remembering something a judge wrote on one of my ballots: I made the audience uncomfortable with the way I talked about suicide. That makes me happy ^_^!

I suck. But am so proud of myself! I barely messed up! But The judges put me lasst. All of em but one. Some of the pieces were downright boring. It makes me confident knowing that I am worse than them ; ). I got second one round...that was good...and then one of the judges that put me in last left me only good comments..which pissed me off...



And Duo finals and sems absolutely rocked. I loved the guys that got first. Can't wait till next year so I can do duo.



And Spencer and Tiph are goin out.



And Stacey(Weigum) has my baby. And is my whore. We work at the same corner.






And Rochelle is seriously a dirty whore. All the schools know it.




And Lion King rocks.

I am procrastinating.
Why can I not see my journal OR my friends? *sadwhimperwhine*


WOW am I ever procrastinating....I completely stumbled through my piece today and am STILL not working on it...not packed...homework not done..And don't you just LOVE how I am sitting here ranting instead of actually doing something? I know I do. I have such a problem with laziness....

Well...I getta go to Billings! With the piece I have practiced a whole once as of now.....*nervous*....and I am the ONLY SOI going....*nervouser*....

I have absolutley no aspect of time lately...yesterday it did not feel like Monday, but not any other day either...it felt kind of like an unknown day in neverending forever. When I was walking home(I got stranded at school!), I felt as if I was to nevere stop walking for I would never reach my destination.. hmm...



Last night I think Harley came in to my room or something..I could have been dreaming. He said something to the effect of "If mom were to want to talk to you with us as a family and have us start spending time together would you?" I said NO....but I think I may have been dreaming...I shall inquire of him in like 2 minutes though...time to go get dressed and such.

My pup is funny. GO PUPPY GO PUPPY GO!!!!
I officially love Prozac. I took 2 this morning and the hyper/not unhappy feeling lasted allll day. It rocks.

I got 2 more posts and 4 balls and a spike thing for my chin.



*Prozac, Prozac, Prozac, and razor blades. Razor blades, razorblades, and Prozac. The things that keep me happyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!*
New song. Sounds awesome. I bet you can just IMAGINE the awesomeosity of it, huh??!?!?!



Leave me alone. Nearly everyone around needs a writer. Not just me. So shut up.