Bwahhhahaaah!!
Nick is fuzzy again!!!! O_O




We sucked at sight reading.

Stupid fucking everyone(though I have nothing against Alex right now)

You can be both .Changing like the wind
You change your mood very often it depends on your
surroundings and your momental feelings.
Its like you would have two persons in yourself
You are very intensive...very happy or very sad.
You have a life but its very tortured.
Find the balance and youll feel better
.But its not bad to be like this if you are good
mooded everyone loves you .
But when you get bad mood the whole world should
hide from you .


~Is your life a lie?-9 Results+Beautiful Pictures~
brought to you by Quizilla


Very true for the most part...



BEAUTIFUL ICE PRINCESS/PRINCE .You need distance
between you and your partner in your
relationship. You are very difficult to get.
You have big requirements and this one you love
must try hard to get you. But after she/he melt
your heart she/he will be the most happy person
in the world. You need someone who shoes you
that you are special and it makes you feel
good to see that you are loved. She/He shall
know that you could easily get another
girl/boyfriend but you wont as long as you
love him. when she/he hurts you you will hurt
him too, but in general you dont get hurt. If
your partner cheated you ,you would react cold
and immediately (try to) forget him
PLEASE VOTE, I want to know what you think about my
quiz, I worked hard on it.You can always
message me or tell me how I can improve that
quiz. Ill sure write back.


~THE big LOVE TEST!! What do you need? With PICS! For girls and boys!~
brought to you by Quizilla


Ok. Damn pictures aren't working.

Everything is so LOUD right now! The tv seems to be rising, and I am listening to music, and the stupid people that live in this house are VERY loud and I am about to scream. I have tried going to sleep, but it did not work and I shall try again soon. I need my ear to pop.

Everything seemed to be going wrong today. I almost cried numerous times. I just want to be alone. I shall in a few minutes. I am seriously intolerable of people right now and as of late. I was about to kill, but then I stepped outside and breathed in the rain air and it helped immensely.

It seems as if everyone is against me lately. Either they are too close or too far away, never perfect. I don't want them and they are there or I want them and they are always no where to be seen. There are very few I can tolerate as of late. I just want to be left alone...

Fuck now I am about to cry...ohh here come the tears. My keyboard is almost dotted. I need more rain/air.


Oh...bye the way...Andy was Romeo and I was Juliet and it was the big "first meeting" scene. We got teased lots :-p.

I want my ears to pop.
I went to the doc, and starting tommorrow I am on Welbutrin or however it is spelled. I heard someone tell me how good it is, but I forget who. It turns put I was not supposed to participate at all in gym for the past month and I have...but now I have ten days off swimming which starts tommorrow.


My ear is making me really dizzy. I wish it would stop.

I think that is it.

The sun.
You all must check out this band if you haven't already. It is The Rasmus. I like them.


I officially HATE the sun. In gym we went outside. I got such a terrible fucking headache and felt so sick. The sun is the devil. It makes me sicker than I already am. It should die. I also can not stand to be in crowds lately. I used to love it, now I get all paranoid majorly. It stinks.

I love Gwen's mommy = ). She rocks.

On Thursday I am going out to lunch and stuff since it is district and I have to be at school at 3, but do not have rides anywhere so I have to stay.

ALL OF MY BALLS ARE STRIPPED ALMOST!!!!!! I AM GOING TO SCREAM!!

Another of my stupid dreams nobody will care about.
It started out when I was in a library. I was waiting for Nicko...he finally showed up and we were supposed to do a research project about some weird country I was unfamiliar with. We had 3 hours to do resrearch, but the majority of the time we both just sat there...there was that uncomfortablesilence between us like when you are with someone you don't like or know very well. When I finally went out to the books, I found people such as Josh Barone and began to talk to them. Then Shelle came in and I abandoned everything else to go talk to her. A movei was shown for some strange reason, but everyone there went to watch it. When that was done, the library was closing. I had to find Nick because we still had nothing done. Mishelle waited with me, among others. We found his sister's little purple car(that does not exist), so we knew he had not yet left. He finally came out and I realized after Shelle left that I needed a ride home. We were waiting for his sister and the creepy Cradle of Filth picture that frightens me greatly popped up...but it was in child form and just staring at me. Nick told me that THING was friend's with Shea's little brother. I was completely freaking out right then. The sister came and she was driving a short yellow bus...so I rode that home.


It was very, very weird.......

= (
I think I am dying. I feel so fucking terrible I am amazed I lasted all day. I was about to go home in first, but didn't. I only halfly tried on my drama "talent". I failed my Science test I think.


I have my prom ticket. I really hope I feel better by then. If not it will really suck. Anyone wanna come to my house after prom? The insane mom will be locked in a church.



Sleep.

FUCK.
I have a new found love for Yellowcard and a recurring love for Taking Back Sunday. I love these bands and don't want to give them back to Alex.


Our play sucked. Better my money to go to our theatre department than CMR's, though.

Don't mind me.
I think I made Mishelle's bday party hell. Sorry, Mishelle.

I may go to the play with Kelsey tonight. I hope I can.

So sick, so sick of being tired, and oh so tired of being sick....I love Taking Back Sunday. I am borrowing it from Alex. Along with other emo stuff. I feel emo. Yay emo!

I wish I knew what was wrong with me. I am not being myself at all. It seems like I am incapable of being bubbly or having any personality at all, or being like I usually am. I hate it. I am only tired, depressed, or apathetic. I slept for a long time last night and I am still tired.

I am going to go listen to emo and sleep.

I am fucking peachy. How are you?
There was SEX on the school football field today O_O

Chrisitie has a crush on SETH!!! Seth has a crush on Christie! It is so cute!!!

I still need to write my resume for crew >'.'<

We are doing a "talent contest" in drama. I, being talentless me, am doing my SOI piece. Exciting, eh? I should find someone else to do something with, too.

I am pathetic. I should get over it.

It is coming baaaaackkk!!!
I am now going to prom. Thank Kelsey.

Meh. Formally.
I went to bed about 7 last night. A full ten hour night!

I have been noticing stuff lately...Like how cute this one chick is....And she has the most awesome glasses! They are all like cat-eyed sorta and have sparkly jewel things on edges...She has orangeish-red hair as well. There is also another chick with BRIGHT red hair and she had red makeup when I saw her and she was so awesomely cute...Alright. Alex (JIMMY) is right...cute does sound young :-p. But she was!



With guys I am not even noticing looks anymore..well...noticing:yes, but caring:no...so I am gathering more crushes there...I am just too shy.


Which brings me to my next point. I am constantly pushing everyone away. I HATE IT. I am shy AND I push people away which means I lose alot more than I should. It fucking sucks how I can not stand to be close to anyone as much as I may want to. Quite depressing, really..



ITEDs (IOWAS!) start today. = )

Damn little boy
The little boy was in a bad mood when he came home. My mom ended up slapping him because he was bad mouthin her, being disrespectful, and just talking uneducatedly. He kicked her back, so she slapped him again. He grabbed the bag of apples and threw them at her. Then they were all out brawlin...all on the floor...he kicking, she punching....Then they ended it, he got up and ran to John's house. (John is his friend)..He called his dad and he came and picked him up from there. The dad called the mom and she would not talk. The little boy called the mom and she talked to him, and he ended up talking for his dad...they were threatening her to take Marty as well as Harley and press charges against my mom...So then she hung up and would not answer any more. She called the cops and asked what to do. The only thing possible is for her to report the little boy as a runaway...so she is doing that. She went to her work to get the divorce papers and then down to the police station. I am all alone...




This may sound bad, but I want her to come back so she can do my hair. It looks bad :-p.


...I hope nothing bad happens...

Quiz time

Rain: You are the sound of rain. You have two
important sides. There is your strong, powerful
side and your calm, gentle side. Both are very
important. Rain also reflects a bit of darkness
in your personality. It isn't bad, just shows
that along with the good, you also can see bad,
which can come in handy. (please rate my quiz)


What Sound Are You?(now w/ pics)
brought to you by Quizilla



You are guided by water. You are generally calm and
peaceful, but you can be very destructive
without even realizing it.(Rate my test)


What force is your soul?
brought to you by Quizilla


...I feel watery and wet....(DO NOT MISINTERPRET -_-)




your dark and mysterious..you have a hidden talent
but you don't tell anyone..its probably an art
of some kind...you don't let people get that
close to you because you've been hurt
alot...your tough and independant..your
actually alot like me....cool..please rate..


What emotion does your soul hold...(kinda for girls but either can take)
brought to you by Quizilla


You are Cleopatra of the Nile. The great
biographer of the time, Plutarch, wrote of
Cleopatra, 'Her actual beauty, it is said, was
not in itself so remarkable that none could be
compared with her, or that no one could see her
without being struck by it, but the contact of
her presence, if you lived with her, was
irresistible . . . It was a pleasure merely to
hear the sound of her voice, with which, like
an instrument of many strings, she could pass
from one language to another . . .' You have a
spark in you that draws other people to you.
Indeed, you are drawn to others because you are
always curious. People can talk to you; and
you have a passion in life to know, live, love,
and learn. Please rate my quiz.


What famous female ruler are you? (written for the girls)
brought to you by Quizilla

Lyke Oh My. God. Lyke totally freak my out I said right on!

Grunge! You're all about the music and would even
turn your back on fame just to stay true to
your roots... You reached your high in the
early '90s, but you're still making some good
stuff! Keep rocking!


What genre of rock are you?
brought to you by Quizilla




I am so tired.

I got an AP today. It has nakee people on front. O_O

We also got about a hundred burritos. There was a big sale going on.

It was so weird...
Ok. I just got a phone call. Lemme type it out...


*ring ring*
Me: Hello?
Them: Hi.
Me: Hello?
Them: Who is this?
Me: ...Jessika...
Them: Hi, Jessika. Where is mom?
Me: At church
Them: This late?
Me: Yeah....she should be home any minute...
Them: What is your last name?
Me: ....Palmer....
Them: Oh shit. I have the wrong number! *laughter in background obnoxiously*
Me: Ok...bye...
*click on my part*



It was so weird....the voice was VERY familiar..I just can not place it. DAMNIT....It is making me frustrated!!!! The voice almost reminded me of my brother on a bad cell phone. Yet...not. It was like high school/college dude sounding. VERY strange.......GAAAAAA ;_;

We are living in a world of smoke.....
Let's start our own popular crowd!!! And let the dead ducky come to the rescue when we wreck humanity with smiles on our faces!!!!

I just sent our poem to Tiph :-p. She found it very amusing.

You are Captain Jack Sparrow. Everyones favorite
con artist, you know how to manipulate peaople
and use them to help your own cause. But all in
all, you are very pure-hearted and have good
intentions. Although you tend to be a bit of a
loner, others around you admire you greatly.
You are incredibly smart and have the best
attitude: be true to yourself, no matter what
others think.


Awesome POTC Personality Quiz
brought to you by Quizilla


I finished The Da Vinci Code tonight. I encourage everyone to read it. I am willing to lend it out if you need it, it is that good...

Nick! When is your break and what does your math schedule thing look like?

I really hope I get my movie tommorrow...

I have had like 3 crushes come and go within 3 and a half weeks....I wanna KEEP a crush! DAMNIT.

Science assessment was very easy, but I did not finish. Mr. Logan told us to stay after, so me and Hessler were like 10 mintues late for gym. It rocked = ).

And....that is all. FIN.

Oh no it isn't! Stupid people took away my Nicks, MTV and MTV2, comedy central, and noggin. But now they are back! WOOOOOO!!!! ^_^

Now I am done.

People are dying, I think.
Well....I am sure that SOMEWHERE people are dying. Anyway.....in drama we are watching Westside Story, so all through math when I was trying to think I had "Mariaaa!!!!!!!" going through my head...good thing the math assessment was super easy. I beleive I got a 4. English we read and analyzed the..(bauh bauh bauh BAUH!) PROLOGUE...after all this crap, we STILL have not begun to read Romeo and Juliet..pissing me off slightly. Social studies boring..nothing happened. Choir we are singing a song about rain and I actually like it. In Science Annie, Kelsey P., and I had to do stupido lab of horsepower and then halfway through I got super sick and such..It sucked. In gym I chose basketball over volleyball again. I hate volleyball. However I still felt all sick and blah, so afterwards I felt worse. Got out at 2:40....busses did not seem to come...Luckily I got a ride home from Kaylene. I was told Kaylene and I both are on the cover of the yearbook..Nifty, eh?



BTW...Who has Holy Grail? Bring it to Kaylene's!!!!!!!!!!! You must you must you must! Then we watch that and Rocky Horror! (assuming I get it back from Graham)



....sleep is good...

People are dying, I think.
Well....I am sure that SOMEWHERE people are dying. Anyway.....in drama we are watching Westside Story, so all through math when I was trying to think I had "Mariaaa!!!!!!!" going through my head...good thing the math assessment was super easy. I beleive I got a 4. English we read and analyzed the..(bauh bauh bauh BAUH!) PROLOGUE...after all this crap, we STILL have not begun to read Romeo and Juliet..pissing me off slightly. Social studies boring..nothing happened. Choir we are singing a song about rain and I actually like it. In Science Annie, Kelsey P., and I had to do stupido lab of horsepower and then halfway through I got super sick and such..It sucked. In gym I chose basketball over volleyball again. I hate volleyball. However I still felt all sick and blah, so afterwards I felt worse. Got out at 2:40....busses did not seem to come...Luckily I got a ride home from Kaylene. I was told Kaylene and I both are on the cover of the yearbook..Nifty, eh?



BTW...Who has Holy Grail? Bring it to Kaylene's!!!!!!!!!!! You must you must you must! Then we watch that and Rocky Horror! (assuming I get it back from Graham)



....sleep is good...

People are dying, I think.
Well....I am sure that SOMEWHERE people are dying. Anyway.....in drama we are watching Westside Story, so all through math when I was trying to think I had "Mariaaa!!!!!!!" going through my head...good thing the math assessment was super easy. I beleive I got a 4. English we read and analyzed the..(bauh bauh bauh BAUH!) PROLOGUE...after all this crap, we STILL have not begun to read Romeo and Juliet..pissing me off slightly. Social studies boring..nothing happened. Choir we are singing a song about rain and I actually like it. In Science Annie, Kelsey P., and I had to do stupido lab of horsepower and then halfway through I got super sick and such..It sucked. In gym I chose basketball over volleyball again. I hate volleyball. However I still felt all sick and blah, so afterwards I felt worse. Got out at 2:40....busses did not seem to come...Luckily I got a ride home from Kaylene. I was told Kaylene and I both are on the cover of the yearbook..Nifty, eh?



BTW...Who has Holy Grail? Bring it to Kaylene's!!!!!!!!!!! You must you must you must! Then we watch that and Rocky Horror! (assuming I get it back from Graham)



....sleep is good...

Meeehhh..

You are the Goddess of Water. You are a very
loving, you show your emotions out in the open.
You are full of wisdom. Also dreamy... You
would rather be sleeping then awake. But are
still very happy. You are most inspiration to
the other Four Goddesses since without water
there wouldn't be life.
Other Water Goddesses: Aphrodite, Isis, Mariamne,
Mari, Tiamat, Yemaya, Ran, Kupala


Which of the Four Elemental Goddesses are you?(With Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla


I stayed home today as well. I slept until 3ish and still want to sleep more. I have shitloads of homework and tommorrow we are taking a math assessment. Last night at the debate banquetm I got 3 things...one being a bison bill, another a forensics thing, and then a thing for having a high GPA. Gwen got the "I should've talked to senoirs more" award. I laughed. They did not have the slightest clue who she or Stacey Radonich was, so they both got those awards. At least they know who I am... I did feel bad for Josh, however. He went into the bathroom on the bus once and stayed for a long time and came out with a big ol' smile on his face, and you can guess the assumptions that were made. That is from Kirsty's point of view. But becase of that, the seniors gave him the "longest in bathroom award" and he turned colors....


Well I feel stupid. I am also very hungry. Damn us not having bread = (



Wanna know what makes me angry? WHen people think Love Song was written by 311 or Jack off Jill or someone else, I get angry. It was written by the motha-fucking CURE damnit!

Oh the stuff I find...
I shall drown you in my tears;
Suffocate you in my hate;
I'll strangle you with my fears,
Don't try to change now, you're already too late.

Now the trust is gone,
For now I can see
Your ignorance, disbelief:
All strains of your conterfeit personality.

For these emotions are vindictive,
Scratching at the walls of my soul
Begging to be freed,
Their strength I no longer control.

My dove of compassion is dead;
Now completely I'm desensitized,
Never to feel again.
For the lies in your eyes...

I shall drown you in my tears.
The hate will pour like rain
To smother your stupid little world
So I will be free once again.


Yes. Tiphni Lynn and I wrote this last summer, I do believe. I think I have posted it here before, but I am not sure anyone ever read it....so here it is again. I gave Tiph my general ideas and a few basic lines and how I wanted it to be, and she pretty much put my thoughts on paper. Wooo Tiph! ...I should remind her of this.

The stupid fucking little girl did not get her desired amount of banana bread. So I have to make more. Just for her. *angry face insert*


OOOO!! I also had a dream! It was about a SUPER fucking hot dude that I met when Shelle and I were on Slime Time Live! I got prizes and to be on TV : ). Then when everyone was gone, Me and Shelle were sitting there and then we noticed this super hot guy sitting all alone. He was from Texas. When we went back to school, he was in my English class, so I guess he moved :-p. Our school quite resembled Butte's. Anyway. He was pretty much gay..he had like 5% straight in him. He also had a crush on Colton ^_^. Then the doggy came and woke me up to let her out. = (.



I update too much.



BTW..."You're Sweet. Sweet like an orange creame sugar bunny." Yup.

This movie indeed rocks.
"Jesus Christ...stop me if you've heard this one...walks into a hotel, hands the innkeeper 3 nails and asks: 'Put me up for the night?'"


"Because we do not know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well, and yet everything happens only a certain number of times ... How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood ... that is so deeply a part of your being that you can't even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps 4 or 5 times more. Perhaps not even. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps 20. And yet it all seems limitless.


"Death is always on the way, but the fact that you don't know when it will arrive seems to take away from the finiteness of life. It is that terrible precision that we hate so much. But because we don't know, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. Yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number really. How many more times will you remember as certain afternoon of your childhood, some afternoon that's so deeply a part of your being that you can't even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps 4 and 5 times more. Perhaps not even. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps 20. And yet it all seems limitless."


Bwaaahhhh I love this movie. It rocks in all its morbidness. I find it very funny. Do not ask why. Some parts are not meant to be funny, but oh well. *shrug*



Today I made banana bread. Other than that, I have watched a little tv and read like a hundred pages in the book I am reading. It is very very unproductive and I wish Roxanne would come save me. But, she probably won't.


My mom went to Passion of Christ today. She said she saw Mishelle, but did not say hi so as not to embarrass her in front of her friends :-p. BTW Shelle....what church do you go to?




Mother is the name of god in the hearts and eyes of young children. It seems as if I am not a young child anymore...I so thought I was, too. Aw well.



It may not be able to rain all of the time THERE, but I wish it WOULD rain sometimes HERE. I miss the rain = (.

Tidbit of sad info that I was unaware of: Brandon Lee died in the making of The Crow. One of the times he was shot, they were supposed to have a blank in the gun, however a real bullet was used. So he died. = (.


I think I am done now. I shall steal buh bai! ^_^.

People are dying, I think.
Last night around 2 in the morning, I was awoken by a pounding. It kind of sounded like it was on the door, but kind of not. I was too groggy to go figure out, so I yelled at it to stop. I felt better since it obeyed. I was in near sleep mode and it began again. I yelled again and it didn't stop...so I kept yelling and finally it did. I woke up and decided to stay home like I should forever. Later the tiwns and my mom discovered this spot and then a line. In my opinion it looked like a melted crayon and then a line drawn in different crayon because of the texture crayons seem to leave on the walls. Harley said it was ink. But oh no, ditch the logical (not that those were LOGICAL persay...just better), and my mom concluded it is black blood. JOY. Someone is BLEEDING in our walls. And it is brought on by bad music, tv, and video games. Yup. She is now going to "bless" our house on Saturday. I don't know if I would rather have someone save me that day or stay to make sure they leave my room spawning demonic things. *shrug*



I think I should try school again tommorrow

Oh dear god.
So...I was really feeling shitty today. The only high point was remembering that my mom said she would take me to the doctor today. I was making her brownies and she came home. I brought it up and suddenly she was saying how she had never said she would even think about taking me tonight and definitely not. I get all emotionally inbalanced and stuff when I get sick. I began to cry. I went upstairs and was all out bawling. I could not help it. She called me down and was all bitchy and yelling. If we were going at all, it was going to be right now and I was getting my way just like always...blahblahblah. The seriously did not help my tears stop. So we went...I was crying the entire time we were in the waiting room. I finally stopped as my name got called. My mom said I was there for a little cold that I won't shut up about. Tears again. Nurse lady took my temperature...all that good stuff. Asked how long I had had my cold. I said it seemed like more than a cold...told her of the yuckiness..the lack of being able to breath. Oh and the mom said "She has been spitting up bile" and laughed at me. She said I would be dead had I been. Nurse made it seem like I was all right and all that good stuff. She left and I began to cry again. Once I stopped we had been waiting for like 10 minutes. Waited another ten. Doctor dude came in. Still made it seem like I had a little cold. Turns out I did. He called it Mononucleiosis. Yup. I gots me some mono. He said it was spreading like wildfire around the school. I began to cry again. There is nothing to do about it. Just deal with it. He is not sure if I have it definitely or not, but more than likely, and even if it was definite, it would be pointless just to know. As he was sitting there watching me cry, he brought up depression. I seemed to have the sympoms and all that good stuff. Nice of my mom to pipe in and say how "demanding" I was. He said depression hightens illness. all that good stuff. Yah. I know it. My mom kept going on about me being demanding and all bipolarish and crap. It came up that my dad had serious bipolar and and schizoeffective or something and she has severe depression. So now I shall be on Zoloft. Not Prozac...she wants to make sure I am taking my own pills as I constantly steal hers ;-). I need to sleep or cry or die or something.

gng
Well...I stayed home today. I am running out of days quickly = (. I woke up at 11 after going to bed at 10:30....then I went back to sleep at noon till 3:20. I think I am on the path of sleeping my life away again.

I feel kinda bad for Roxanne. Barbi and I were gone today. We 3 are in a group and our thing is due tommorrow.



I think my house was burning down earlier today. It stunk and now is all hot and stuff.


I am cooking mozzarella sticks. I also forgot what was supposed to go here.