I haven't updated in awhile..
Don't really have a good reason as to why.
I don't really have anything exciting going on in my life right now, but things are going great.
I am happy and all that.
Trying to get through this semester of school..
Working on trying to get a new job..
I am so sick of all the talk of them firing me.. They won't do it, and it pisses me off.
I wish they'd just get it over with..
::
2009 30 November :: 4.06am
:: Music: George of the Jungle
Recent thoughts with added emphasis
I like the idea of Montreal (much like one enjoys the idea having a baby but not the pushing it out of your own vagina part or the human being inside me thing or much like one may love the idea of organizing a bookshelf by color but not actually having said bookshelf (I cannot find any book I am searching for. Surprise, surprise, I do not remember my books by color.)) but that whole French thing always turns me off. Gravy and cheese curds on French fries? I am there. Calling it poutine? Sorry, I'll pass. Maybe next time. With bacon. And a not French name. Losers.
I think I might have mentioned it before but this I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant show is insane. How the fuck do you not know you are pregnant? "Oh I had missed my period two months in a row but I just thought it was stress." "I had a craving for tacos but I just like tacos, you know?" "I thought I had to poop and then a baby was in the toilet." What the fuck, kids? And they never have any prenatal care but the baby is always fine. While people who take care of themselves have sick babies. Also, what sexually-active woman is not hyper-aware of every single thing that is going on with her body period-wise?
I am having more and more dreams that involve someone sending me back to France for some reason. And I'm not allowed to leave for some other strange reason. Like I lose my passport or I lose a piece of luggage and cannot leave until it is found. I suppose that is what I get for speaking French all day.
Speaking of...speaking French, I think I speak more French in my average work day than I ever did during my 8 years of studying it in school. Probably even more than I did in an average day in France. I really hate myself for not speaking more French while I was there but whatever. I went to Budapest, bitches. French didn't matter. Now I talk about having votre numero de reservation and combien des chambres voudriez-vous and sorry, you need a carte de credit and who doesn't have an adresse email these days? My dreams are just filled with more French.
My sister is studying in Innsbruck, Austria next year. For the whole year. My mom didn't want her to go for the entire year because she didn't want to pay for Notre Dame with my sister not even being in the country but somehow they got over that. Also, next year is the motherfucking bicentennial of Oktoberfest so my friend and I were already planning on going to Munich. She lived in Germany for a long time and knows people we can stay with for free. We would only have to pay for airfare and food/drink money. My sister and I are planning a European tour since we can handle most countries with my French and her German.
I need to learn to play an instrument. I am thinking something terribly hipster like a ukulele or organ. I've always wanted a hurdy gurdy.
I have no clue what to get anyone for Christmas. Personne, kids. Not even Nick. It is terrible. I know what Nick wants but I can't buy him a 400 dollar laptop/netbook or whatever. And I can think of things I would like for him but nothing he would actually like. You know how guys are. I can think of about twenty things I think he would like but he would just say "oh, thanks." And not really enjoy them because it's nothing he wants. You know? And of course if you ask him what he wants, he never knows.
Nick does many things to annoy the heck out of me because he thinks it is cute when I'm mad. One of these is not putting the new toilet paper roll on the holder. He knows it drives me insane, so he doesn't do it. Every single time he does(n't do) it, I fake yell at him for it. It's what we do. It's our joke. Anyway, the other day, I was joking with him about it and he said he'll always do it. It's his thing, and it won't ever stop. And I said, "Just like it's never lupus." So today when I went to shout at him about it, he said, "It's never lupus."
I am torn about Monk ending this week. It jumped the shark years ago but it has always been one of my favorite shows. I almost have Nick hooked on it but I think it will be like West Wing, I will talk about it for years and he won't watch it until it's OFN and then he'll fall in love with it and talk about it like it's something new.
I read about the newest game from Team Ico and it looks like it's going to be only for the PS3. This may be the game that forces my hand into buying a stupid PS3. Damn you, Team Ico. DAMN YOU.
Nick's parents got us an electric fireplace for Christmas (and already gave it to us, obviously) and it is awesome. The smart cat has only slept on it once so far but their favorite thing seems to being going behind it for some reason. Silly cats. We totally tripped a breaker with it already too. Which was bound to happen since it's on the same plug with the xbox and the router and the modem and the TV and the cable box and the surround sound and the Wii.
I've typed for about an hour now so I think that more than makes up for my silence. I'm out, kids.
I love you all &c.
P.S. I was watching Zero Punctuation's review of Modern Warfare 2 and the little line he always puts in the credits said, "I wonder what kind of gun fires with a noise that most closely approximates the word 'BANG.'" I read this to Nick and he replied, wittily, "An onomato-P9." This is why I want to marry this kid.
P.P.S. Earlier today, we were eating pizza and watching Away We Go and we couldn't find the TV remote. We looked everywhere but it was nowhere to be found. Finally, after the movie was over (98 minutes after it was lost) and we began a hardcore-retracing-steps mission. This mission was quickly completed when Nick found the remote in his pocket. This is why I will keep this kid around.
The past few months of my life have been crazy, chaotic and life changing.
After being involved in a horrible domestic situation I spent a month and a half being homeless. I have lost almost everything I own. But I am better than I have ever been in my entire life.
Sometimes when things start to go so very wrong in your life you feel as though things can¡¦t get any worse. They can. But, I learned so much from losing everything.
I moved into a domestic violence shelter on the reservation in Mt. Pleasant. I have been here for just about a month now, and things could not be going better for me ļ
I recently got a job, and I move into a one bedroom apartment next week.
I¡¦ve been getting into many native American cultural activities. Getting in touch with the earth and my heritage.
I¡¦ve decided to take a few more years off of school. I¡¦m still trying to decide if college is really what¡¦s best for me. I still will be taking a few classes though. Just so I remain smi-educated. Lol.
Next week I start an apprenticeship. I will be learning the art of native American stone sculpture. I am extremely excited to be doing this. Who knows, maybe I¡¦ll make magnificent sculptures and make a living being an artist. Pipedream? Maybe. But it would be cool in any case. To beat the system and make a living doing what I love. :P
So, overall, life isn¡¦t perfect, but I¡¦m doing the best I can.
Carl's at school. I'll be gone before he gets home. Will be at work. Sad day really. =[
Off my facebook (didn't really feel like retyping it):
Chuck ran outside this morning. Only, she ran out a window. On the second floor. She stood on the ledge outside and really wanted to jump. Her head was doing that thing that cats do before they jump off something high. But, I got her in, no problem. All I had to do was panic a little and call her in nicely. =] Scared the eff out of me though.
At Carl's. Been playing CoD World at War. X-Box Live FTW. Makes killing nazi zombies easier when there are 4 rather than 1. Been the best 2 weeks EVER. =] He looks super cute laying there with his white comforter, his orange crush shirt, holding the remote. I really like this guy ALOT. <3
Aww, he's sleeping =] And snoring. It's still cute though.
::
2009 17 November :: 10.37pm
:: Mood: discontent
Who's the one that made you happy
Who's the one that always makes you laugh
Who's the reason you're smiling
And dragged you through these times so rough
I was the one that made you happy
I was the one that eased the pain
But I'm the reason that you're crying now
My own tears scattered by the rain
You can sacrifice me
You can sacrifice me
You set me free
You can be who you wanna be
Deeper than deep you took me on a trip baby
You shared your wildest dreams and more
You dare me to express my feelings to you
I never felt that need before
But suddenly you needed freedom
You felt the need to break free
You started drowning in your sorrow
You didn't wanna know I had the key
You can sacrifice me
You can sacrifice me
You set me free
You can be who you wanna be
You can sacrifice me, sacrifice me
You can be who you wanna
You can be who you wanna be
I have come to the conclusion that the human race is pathetic.
We're everything we say we're not, and we pretend to be the things we say we are.
I guess not everyone, but generalizations are always much easier than the specifics.
We're childish.
No one is every really as strong as they admit to being.
Everyone has a breaking point.
It is all part of pretending.
The truth hurts, life is hard, and people are pathetic.
....
So lately, my life has consisted of working during the day, and being alone at night.
I've been hanging out with Chelsea quite a bit lately, and it's a blast.
On my weekends I spend them with Mike, because thats really only the time I get to see him and it definitely sucks.
I am definitely excited that my sister is coming up Saturday and will be here til Thanksgiving.