:: 2005 10 December :: 4.25 am

today's perfectly drunken statement...
my teeth feel dehydrated.

yes i said that. i thought it as i sat next to a toilet praying to god i would throw up. all that came from it was realizing i needed to eat some bread, and never drink that much rum again in my life.

finals are next week. good luck to me... i want hot ilustrious drunken sex with my boyfriend

1 find grace | Open your eyes

:: 2005 5 December :: 7.30 pm

well, the boyfriend and i are doing good. he is coming home with me for the first week of Christmas Break, so you kiddies can meet him... maybe. We already exchanged presents. I got him some coffee and he bought me a belt that i have wanted for at least 4 months. so yay. On the downside we can only have sex like once a week because his room mate is always in the room except for tuesday nights. and he already has told me that he wants to marry me. i met all of his family and they love me so that is good. and who knows, maybe in a few years we will get married. wait... no... he will realize by then that i am crazy.

1 find grace | Open your eyes

:: 2005 14 November :: 7.51 pm

just so anyone who know's about what is up with me knows....
i have surgery on thursday. hopefully i will be fine by next week.
love you all.

7 find grace | Open your eyes

:: 2005 9 November :: 1.19 pm

well, well, well. here i am miss malady. a walking case of sickness. i think i am getting better. who knows, sometime, i shall have to see a doctor. and if it all works out against me, i will be coming home early for thanksgiving, because i am a sick child.

2 find grace | Open your eyes

:: 2005 5 November :: 8.28 pm

is there such a thing as too much sex?

2 find grace | Open your eyes

:: 2005 4 November :: 3.27 pm

why must boys be so complicated and needy?

4 find grace | Open your eyes

:: 2005 31 October :: 9.50 pm
:: Music: Eagle Eye Cherry--Save tonight

Open your eyes

:: 2005 30 October :: 5.34 pm

most amuzing thing i have seen in a long time... my room mates best friend from school dressed up as richard simons for halloween. it was hillarious.

1 find grace | Open your eyes

:: 2005 30 October :: 5.15 pm
:: Music: Brad Paisley ft. Allison Krause--- Whiskey Lullaby

1 find grace | Open your eyes

:: 2005 30 October :: 3.16 pm

i started to think that i should apologise to everyone who reads any of my god forsaken journals, but then i realized that if i can't change my life why should i apologize for something that i already knew sucked. and so i just go and look at other people's entries and then realize how much happier everyone else looks. and also how much more beautiful so many other girls are.
if only for one night, he could love me again...

1 find grace | Open your eyes

:: 2005 29 October :: 6.29 pm

so here it is me not knowing what the fuck is wrong with me again. do you think it is possible for a person to have something permanently wrong with them, that nothing can be done about it?

well, so i guess i am just depressed agian. i really don't know anymore. it's like a permanent emptiness. i feel like nobody wants me around, i don't even know what to do with myself anymore. i haven't actually slept all week. it's like i just want to drink to feel numb, but even drinking doesn't knock out the pain. and then everyone is gone this weekend. they have either gone home or they have gone to madison, or chicago. because apparently that's where the party is at. and even though everyone can tell you where they are going off to, nobody asks you to go with them. i have come to the ultimate conclusion that something is definitley wrong with me. it can't be everyone else because they are all able to go out and be happy. i really just want to fucking cry my eyes out. i feel like i am in this big black hole with no way out.

i just really wish i could stop hurting. why doesn't anyone want me around you know? i mean, it feels like mike wants me to go far far away and rot, the whole problem is i can't imagine my life without him. i seriously just wish i could be with him for the rest of my life.

i am so irritable right now. i just yelled at kelly for no reason. i was in this half sleep today and i felt like i was drowning. and at that moment it was like i could see my heart or my soul or something and all that there was was an incredibly empty room with thimbles, a teddy bear and a tube of lipstick. what the fuck is that supposed to mean? everything was just kind of floating. like i was in the bottom of the ocean. i really just want to be in someone's arms. i need to feel needed.

1 find grace | Open your eyes

:: 2005 26 October :: 1.09 pm

do you ever just like walk around kind of in a daze like sitting there thinking of all the fabulous romantic things that could happen at any given moment.
i was walking back to my room and all i can do is like hope that some guy will just like walk up to me and kiss me and say, everything is going to be alright. or have someone who really likes you and you really like them to just like come up and push you against a wall and start kissing you passionatley and fondling you... ect. i mean, maybe i am just a hopeless romantic, maybe i just need to get some. but idk, i really wish something romantic would happen to me.

Open your eyes

:: 2005 25 October :: 1.34 pm

for the sake of all things holy, that was too easy

You are Marla Singer. You appear to be a cold
person deadend to the outside world who can
take care of themself, But on the inside your
just like everyone else. You seem to be a jerk
on the outside, not caring about others. But
you really do care about others you just show
it a little differently. It's hard for you to
express ideas and thoughts making conversations
short. Something has happend to make you the
way you are. probally some act of cruel
society. You try to be nice but are afriad to
get to close to anyone. You want to be noticed
for who you are and not who others see you as.
You are the voice of reason. And allthough it
doesn't seem like it other people listen to you
and respect you. but sometimes you can be a bit
melodramatic.


Which Fight Club main character are you?
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Open your eyes

:: 2005 24 October :: 3.16 pm

why does this hurt so much? i feel more alone now than ever. damnit. it kills to know i just missed you, a dollar short and a day late. fuck.

Open your eyes

:: 2005 19 October :: 10.26 pm

You are a Pushy lover! This is not necessarily a
bad thing, but you tend to like being in a
relationship over being single. You just tend
to push yourself into a relation ship, even
though it might not be serious. But always
looking for someone can be a good thing. If you
keep searching, you just might be able to put
to rest the saying true love is hard to come
by.


What Kind Of Love Do You Show?(With Pics)
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2 find grace | Open your eyes