:: 2005 19 October :: 8.38 pm

so i have to ask my sweet. will you ever love me or will this always be an unrequited desire.
i have to know, i just can't bear this deafening silence. please give me an answer before this gun is drawn to my sweet full lips that once kissed you so tenderly...
i have to know darling, will it hurt you to know that i am gone?

:: 2005 18 October :: 10.03 pm

i may be coming home this weekend...
would you care to see me darlings?

Open your eyes

:: 2005 17 October :: 11.50 pm

it's times like these...
that i wonder if he misses me
i wish things in the past would have ended better
i want to be at home
i really wish people would stop fighting in the hall
i wish i could be laying in his bed... and that him isn't mike

i wish i wasn't at school...

Open your eyes

:: 2005 16 October :: 3.55 pm

i feel sick
dad found new job
dad hates mike
i don't blame dad, but also try to convince him it isn't mike's fault
i miss mike
had crazy dreams about him while i stayed in boys rooms

i can't figure out if the dreams are premonitions or my subconcious trying to make me feel better
cigs smoked today: 2
amount of wanting to puke: 40

Open your eyes

:: 2005 16 October :: 1.41 am

as to that last entry. yes, staying there again tonight.
sober
and much more fun... did i mention that my sweet bernadette was there.
oh yes.
and nothing happened with the boys... you dirty little children.

Open your eyes

:: 2005 15 October :: 4.04 pm

i just lied through my teeth to make some guy leave me alone. i had to say i had a boyfriend, and say that i see him alot. ect. oh god.
pardon me....
ROFL

2 find grace | Open your eyes

:: 2005 15 October :: 11.02 am

last night was fun. how about we go do it again tonight, hey.
i mean getting drunk and then convincing some boys that you just met to let you stay over... and stay in their clothes. oh yes. good times.

2 find grace | Open your eyes

:: 2005 14 October :: 11.53 am

so my room mate left this morning and i didn't know where she went to. so i got up and took a shower, and being the exhibitionist that i am decided not to get dressed. and then she came back and saw me naked. and it was creepy. and i felt very violated.

but she only really saw my back. so that was good... but still definitley scary.

3 find grace | Open your eyes

:: 2005 13 October :: 4.21 pm
:: Music: the postal service

1 find grace | Open your eyes

:: 2005 13 October :: 10.28 am

pardon me while i go remove my heart. it appears i don't need it anymore...

10 find grace | Open your eyes

:: 2005 12 October :: 2.40 pm
:: Mood: aggravated

i love how men think that i never use my brain. did you ever consider that either 1. i don't care what you think of me or 2. i am doing something that i think will benifit the person that i care about.

seriously, do not make threats at me. it is childish. if you want her to love you, grow the fuck up. she might love you now, but you have alot of maturing to do before either of you should plan on staying together for ever.

and now what i really wanted to say...
i love mike, i am going to visit him. idk when, but if there is one thing i know, different people need different solutions, and mine would be to go see this boy before i throw away the feelings that i have for him.

Open your eyes

:: 2005 11 October :: 11.49 pm

i think i have a stalker... i don't like it so much.

and i want my micheal back*sniff sniff*

2 find grace | Open your eyes

:: 2005 9 October :: 2.57 pm

i couldn't help myself

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance. Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.

Open your eyes

:: 2005 8 October :: 5.57 pm
:: Music: Frank Sinatra

9 find grace | Open your eyes

:: 2005 7 October :: 3.09 pm

i have a phone again... yay.

3 find grace | Open your eyes