Thank you for destroying me.

 

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:: 2005 27 March :: 8.35 pm

whoever thought of friends with benefits, had too much time on their hands.

lol.
i might die from boccelism(sp??) i ate moldy bread by accident. oops

4 find grace | Open your eyes


:: 2005 27 March :: 7.43 am
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: Semisonic- Chemistry

HAPPY EASTER!!!

3 find grace | Open your eyes


:: 2005 26 March :: 10.25 am
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: Where are the clowns

this growing up thing came too fast. i am still 17 and i work all the flippin time. crystal is 21 and she is less grown up than i am, and everyone else works but they still have time to have fun.

why is it that i had to grow up by 16 and no one else did?
i wish i could go back and do it all over.

Open your eyes


:: 2005 25 March :: 10.02 pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: Lennon-- where's my beautiful

i really like bailey's limited edition ice cream... it's nummy
my grandma is fine but almost had a heart attach
i want someone to hold me... anyone
well no, not kells. i don't think i am at all attracted to him anymore, at times i think i might be...but alas, i don't feel much of anything towards him. all he has going for him is a good taste in music and redish hair.
hmmm, yeah, and i leave soon. so soon, and i am so scared but so happy. i just want the love to fill the void in my heart. i thought i could fill it with clutter, but no. material possesions make me happy for a short time, and nothing more than a few days. i just hope that everything turns around in college. i mean, it has to sometime. right??? there is another love out there; there has to be, doesn't there???

9 find grace | Open your eyes


:: 2005 25 March :: 6.46 pm

well, i got up when i was called into work, so i worked and then worked an extra 2 hours.
when i got out i was called and told that my grandma is in the hospital, so much for the stay home for easter idea...

Open your eyes


:: 2005 24 March :: 10.59 pm
:: Mood: mischievous
:: Music: Bob Segar-- (Give me the) Beat Boys

lets get naked
so, i looked through kid pics today, still getting ready for that openhouse and....
i wish i was still that skinny and cute
and...
i have always been an exhibitionist... go figure

Open your eyes


:: 2005 24 March :: 5.41 pm
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: Coldplay-- Clocks

Flippin' A
so i like how people tell you one thing and then post something totally contradictory online, where you are likely to see it.
FUCKERS!!!!

on another note, i am really tired and i don't know why.
and none of my friends seem to care about me and what i want anymore, and i sorta feel like i am not going to have anyone this summer before i leave, which hurts... but i suppose i will live in the end so it doesn't really matter

and apparently i am high maitenence (i totally spelled that wrong)

Open your eyes


:: 2005 23 March :: 3.50 pm

Woohuuu...
i want to dance whenever i look at my icon. lol.
i am soooo tired, and i missed lizzers today. :( Blh. i am trying to catch up on everything since my gpa has been sorta dropping, even though i still try with everything, maybe just not enough because i am bored with it all. oh well spring break is next week.
so apparently jamie wants to bone me or sumthing because he tried to drag me into an office and 'relieve me of my tension'. idk about that whole situation tho.... gotta keep thing strictly business, and i want to have him photograph me so... we will see.

any suggestions?

Open your eyes


:: 2005 22 March :: 7.53 pm

well i am crispy.
i wore a skirt, and got lots of compliments
jamie wanted me to take it off and walk around in my skivies and my thigh highs
and after school i made kells smile.
my day is always made when i can get that kid to smile, because he is only so 'content'.
lol.

Open your eyes


:: 2005 21 March :: 4.21 pm
:: Mood: determined
:: Music: Cake-- Love you madly

i have been pretty happy lately, but things have been odd. i um probably got a detention because i was trying to help tanya slim jim her car, and it took the whole class period for us to still not get it done. and then kelly was nice and brought me home....

last night i got grounded. we will see how that works out. lol. me grounded yeah right.

Open your eyes


:: 2005 20 March :: 9.27 pm

i was at work for like 13 hours yesterday. my body hurts everywhere from it. and i am soo exhausted.
i was reading esquire and it is flippin awesome, every guy should read it. well not cedar guys because they wouldn't understand it, so every business guy should read it.

also i love nylon magazine
and
I WANT TO LOVE YOU MADLY.... *starts dancing* haha, yeah. my life feels like such a movie. lol

2 find grace | Open your eyes


:: 2005 18 March :: 4.16 pm

everything is so well understood but i keep getting confused
fuck, i am tired.

stephen (steven?) is really nice, he amuses me. silly freshman.
real tired. i guess that is all i have to say

Open your eyes


:: 2005 17 March :: 6.17 pm
:: Mood: anxious

here is my infinate question:

WHAT IF.....

2 find grace | Open your eyes


:: 2005 17 March :: 5.27 pm

i feel so much better.
things are calm, today f*ing rawked
and yeah, i just really can't wait until we don't have school.

Open your eyes


:: 2005 17 March :: 8.17 am
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: The Eagles- Take it easy

Soo sorry.
thanks to who ever posted, but now i am more confused than ever. i should learn to put my foot in my mouth and not speak without thinking things through. i may have lost something that would have been great, but i may have saved myself from having to deal with a whole lot. idk anymore.

i will be here unsure for another 2 months. i'm sorry about my rage.
i would take it all back, just to be your friend, and only your friend.

1 find grace | Open your eyes

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