I feel the weight pressing down on my lungs, now. The pressure winds me like a winter sprint. i want to cough but i can't inhale. It's downhill from here. you've left me behind to sit here in the rain. I wait for you to come back but you won't. Soo i sit here.
One day i started walking, but the rain was still there.i finally came to a small enclosure. As i arrived to the place i saw it was a building, old and rickety but out of the rain. I stayed inside for days the plumbing worked enough to bathe.and i sat in the shower for hours on end just being pounded by the hot water. tears streaming down like a watter fall. and there i was just dying inside, being alone, empty lost without you by me
i hope to recover some day soon, and maybe the sun will come out, and someone will find me. Locked away in this place deep in the dark parts of myself.

I thirst for a nice day
where i don't drop my breakfast on the floor and spill orange juice on my sweatshirt.

And maybe someday when my morning goes good i could be able to like someone and not get hurt for it. And the day when college comes i will let you say... I was there, and i loved you. But for now there is nothing but cream cheese in the carpet and an empty glass of orange juice (half drank/ half on my sweatshirt).
To top all that off maybe i will be nice to Ben sometime by the end of the year.
hmmmm......
no, i doubt it.

now that i have read my friends page i can alos say that it's nice to know i'm not the only one being treated like shit in that little poser group of friends... Unfortunately, i don't care to read about their stupid little fights because everyone is friends with brad now so.... we aren't really friends after all

Thus leading to my next question. Why did it all have to change from friendship to hate? I know when it happened, but it kills that i really don't have a trueblue... and just because something was said SIX FUCKING MONTHS AGO you are all throwing yours out.
Be thankful for what you have and stop your goddamn bickering.

so...
what's it like to have true blue friends?
idk- but i wish i did.

last night was confusing,
i was supposed to go to practice at 5 but no one was there except the senior team.
hmmmm, bastards!

I should go back to sleep. It's strange being ready at 6:15. Especially when half the time i don't get out of bed until then. Eh.

I need to stop being upset, or actually people need to stop being jerks and tell me what the hell their problem is with me, so i don't get pissed off because they lied to me. This way i will stop smoking. Sometimes there is nothing better than a nicotine buzz at midnight. But i need to stop.

More about steven

his name is steven tefft

i think he is adorable but
i feel like his is my like little brother

today i walked him to detention and
when i went to go to tryouts he was like
your leaving?!!?
it was cute. But i felt like i was his mom taking him to the first day of school.
LOL
i like him...

Psyciatrist
Dear Lucy,
i have found in the past few months that school is the onbrining of my depression. This is narrowly seconded by relationships: love and friendship included. Due to this dilema i would appreciate a doctors note excusing me from the hell that lies under the alias of Cedar Springs High School.

Thank you very much,
Joslyn Julia Reynolds

how is it that i manage to fuck myself over everytime i open my mouth?

God, i need a boyfriend...
God i love david, he's great fun!


A license said you had to stick around till i was dead, but if your tired of looking at my face i guess i already am. says:
hey sexy
David says:
u know it
David says:
whats up
A license said you had to stick around till i was dead, but if your tired of looking at my face i guess i already am. says:
i just got back from foot ball practice
David says:
yeah
David says:
have fun?
A license said you had to stick around till i was dead, but if your tired of looking at my face i guess i already am. says:

A license said you had to stick around till i was dead, but if your tired of looking at my face i guess i already am. says:
you know it
David says:
coolness
A license said you had to stick around till i was dead, but if your tired of looking at my face i guess i already am. says:
looking at them sexiful men....
A license said you had to stick around till i was dead, but if your tired of looking at my face i guess i already am. says:
mmmmm, mmm
David says:
lol
A license said you had to stick around till i was dead, but if your tired of looking at my face i guess i already am. says:
i tell ya i just want to sink my teeth into rc
David says:
hah
A license said you had to stick around till i was dead, but if your tired of looking at my face i guess i already am. says:
you know what i'm talking about
A license said you had to stick around till i was dead, but if your tired of looking at my face i guess i already am. says:
a little carnage makes life all the more fun
David says:
lol

i feel empty again
i think that i give up on relationships
besides it seems that i always get a
shitty relationship when i give up on
getting anything.

oh i broke into my house today
damn kids, locking my keys inside (shakes head)

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



God i hate my family, life, ect.