::
2002 14 November :: 3.35 pm
:: Mood: disappointed
FUCK ME!!!!!!!< not litterally>
i am feeling rather empty.
I am sorry about yesterday. It is awkward now even more than it was before although i will soon forget about it or at least lock the thoughts away they will lurk in my mind. I wish we could turn back time to fix what we have done wrong.
And i feel now even more so right about what i said. Guys do only like me when they want something and i am gullable enough to believe their effing lies. God i hate myself
3 find grace |
Open your eyes |
::
2002 13 November :: 7.22 pm
:: Mood: drained
And now I'm giving up on you
No, not "baby" anymore - if I need you
I'll just use your simple name
Only kisses on the cheek from now on
And in a little while, we'll only have to wave
THis is what i will say... I don't expect things to be the same; they were weird to begin with but you know what to guys I am nothing more than a toy to use for their own petty amusement.
1 find grace |
Open your eyes |
::
2002 12 November :: 2.44 pm
:: Mood: depressed
i am not so much depressed as i am hurt. You see i can't go back. It hurts to walk through those doors, and walk down the hall. I feel belittled when i see everyone, some of them are my friends but it seems like they all hate me.
I am not any one group, and i don't like feeling outside. I know that it's not a crime to want to be paid attention to, or even want to effing fit in but GAH sometimes life just sucks way too much.
2 find grace |
Open your eyes |
::
2002 11 November :: 10.04 pm
I love this part
Sebastian: You amaze me.
Kathyrn: Eat me, Sebastian. It's all right for guys like you and Court to fuck everyone...but when I do it, I get dumped for innocent little twits like Cecile. God forbid I exude confidence and enjoy sex. Do you think I relish the fact I have to act like Mary Sunshine twenty-four-seven so I can be considered a lady? I'm the Marcia-fucking-Brady of the Upper East Side and sometimes I want to kill myself. So there's your psychoanalysis, Dr.Freud. Now, tell me...are you in or are you out?
I'm the Marcia-fucking-Brady of the Upper East Side and sometimes I want to kill myself. yup that describes it. But i am happy. He said i was prettier than Kyni Rae and Patty!!! I feel loved even though nothing more will happen than friends with benifits i get attention and dammit that is all i am asking for!!
Open your eyes |
::
2002 11 November :: 5.23 pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: Fiona Apple- Love Ridden
Love ridden, I've looked at you
With the focus I gave to my birthday candles
I've wished on the lidded blue flames
Under your brow
And baby, I wished for you
Nobody sees when you are lying in your bed
And I wanna crawl in with you
But I cry instead
I want your warm, but it will only make
Me colder when it's over
So I can't tonight, baby
No, not "baby" anymore - if I need you
I'll just use your simple name
Only kisses on the cheek from now on
And in a little while, we'll only have to wave
My hand won't hold you down no more
The path is clear to follow through
I stood too long in the way of the door
And now I'm giving up on you
No, not "baby" anymore - if I need you
I'll just use your simple name
Only kisses on the cheek from now on
And in a little while, we'll only have to wave
No, not "baby" anymore - if I need you
I'll just use your simple name
Only kisses on the cheek from now on
And in a little while, we'll only have to wave
Open your eyes |
::
2002 8 November :: 10.13 pm
So my dad and i will probly go watch 8mile tomorrow afternoon. :D
And, damn people, i didn't go to the game so i am waiting for effing channel 17 to play the sports reveiw. Gah Hurry up...
2 find grace |
Open your eyes |
::
2002 7 November :: 9.28 pm
so i am done with the essay, i probly will do really shitty and have to rewrite it but hey i threw it together over night.
I need a Bf and a good fuck...
HAHAHA
Teri called hans and bitched him out. I am tired so l8r have a nice night!
Open your eyes |
::
2002 7 November :: 5.59 pm
Oooooo there is gonna be some ass whoopins....
trippy_mushroom76: so , why didnt it work out with u an han
spoiled_chica_4life: cuz he is anoying
trippy_mushroom76: 2 anoying ppl dont mix well
spoiled_chica_4life: i was gonna stay with him for a while longer but my friends were pissed cuz he hit me
spoiled_chica_4life: eh
trippy_mushroom76: WHAT?!?!?
trippy_mushroom76: he hit you?
spoiled_chica_4life: he slapped me
trippy_mushroom76: thtas not cool , no one hits my friends
trippy_mushroom76: exspecialy a girl
trippy_mushroom76: !!!!!!!!!!!!
trippy_mushroom76:
spoiled_chica_4life: cuz i bit him when he covered my mouth
spoiled_chica_4life: i couldn't breathe
trippy_mushroom76: i dont care what a girl does , u dont hit them.
trippy_mushroom76: what a littel bitc
trippy_mushroom76: bitch
spoiled_chica_4life: yeah
trippy_mushroom76: lets go woop his ass
spoiled_chica_4life: hey i got a group of people who would love to join you
trippy_mushroom76: hehehehe he dont know what he opend , u dont fuck with friends of billy.
Watch your back my ass he wants to fuck you up...
1 find grace |
Open your eyes |
::
2002 7 November :: 5.55 pm
:: Mood: gloomy
STANDARDS
This about sums it up in a nut shell but hey wth
spoiled_chica_4life: i give up on people so it doesn't matter
trippy_mushroom76: why?
spoiled_chica_4life: various reasons
trippy_mushroom76: well state them
spoiled_chica_4life: mostly guys don't find me attractive unless they are drunk
spoiled_chica_4life: and i can't even trust my friends with anything anymore
trippy_mushroom76: well.
trippy_mushroom76: for one
trippy_mushroom76: u think thta ur going to get some stud, well guess what , its not going to happen
trippy_mushroom76: u set ur standers so high
spoiled_chica_4life: as i have grown older all i notice is that the people that i once admired have already been surpassed with my own knowledge
trippy_mushroom76: its unbeliviabal
spoiled_chica_4life: ?
trippy_mushroom76: how high u set ur standards
spoiled_chica_4life: i have always had high standards
spoiled_chica_4life: of everything
spoiled_chica_4life: i am disgusted with my grades when i only have a 2.89
spoiled_chica_4life: everything must be the best
trippy_mushroom76: if u set ur standers so high for ur self on guys then ur not going to get a decent one
spoiled_chica_4life: because i want to change the world
spoiled_chica_4life: i don't have that high of standards with guys
trippy_mushroom76: its not all about looks , u should relises that , tats so shallow , thing about a persons personality
spoiled_chica_4life: they are relativley low
spoiled_chica_4life: dude look at the guys i like
spoiled_chica_4life: ... not that cute to most people
spoiled_chica_4life: it's not like i am going after a kirk covey or anything
spoiled_chica_4life: i mean i just won't date someone who is embarissing
trippy_mushroom76: kirk covey? lol he would lol
trippy_mushroom76: kirk is cool him and me been friends since like 6
spoiled_chica_4life: haha
spoiled_chica_4life: you know what i mean
spoiled_chica_4life: perfect athlete good looks yada yada yada
trippy_mushroom76: yup
spoiled_chica_4life: i mean look at most of my friends, Juvinille delinquents
spoiled_chica_4life: or 'punks' more like posers to me but hey
trippy_mushroom76: lol
Open your eyes |
::
2002 7 November :: 3.05 pm
:: Mood: pissed off
BLOODY EFFING HELL
I hope you burn there you tretcherous wretch.
you and your morals.
GOD WTF how can you act all holier than thou and then stab me like that how could he stab me like that. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!
STUPID FUCKS!!!
1 find grace |
Open your eyes |
::
2002 7 November :: 2.50 pm
:: Mood: infuriated
friend:(noun) a person attached to another by respect or affection.
Obviously in Cedar Springs that is not the case.
You have thrown away 1 and1/2 years of friendship to my ex boyfriend. GRRR
Oh and he is going out with a girl 30 min after i broke up with him. DAMN YOU EFFING PEOPLE!!!! And no one would tell me. Well lets see who gets the last laugh now you dirty whores...
3 find grace |
Open your eyes |
::
2002 6 November :: 6.54 pm
:: Mood: whiney
um yeah. why do people have to be such goobers. blech.
Gah they are driving me crazy!!!!
Open your eyes |
::
2002 6 November :: 3.33 pm
:: Mood: indescribable
:: Music: Avril Lavigne-- Naked
I believe music and nakedness are good together
check out the new pictures at the bruce said checkers website says:
they are
Shake yo groove thing, Shake yo groove thang, yeahyeah- show me how to do it right... says:
i know
check out the new pictures at the bruce said checkers website says:
and you don't have a boyfriend
Shake yo groove thing, Shake yo groove thang, yeahyeah- show me how to do it right... says:
exactly
Shake yo groove thing, Shake yo groove thang, yeahyeah- show me how to do it right... says:
i like being almost naked
it is comftorble
I want to walk around in a thong and have bandaids over my nipples and see what people say...
yes that would be unique.
Maybe i will do that at a show when i am famous and have a band. HAHAHA. It works
Anyways i broke up with him, are you happy now. I am free to be a flirt again-- without consequences that is. See if he were ryan or js then i probly would be controlled cuz i would be getting blasted every night... and loving it. So yeah
PEACES OF MY HEART ARE MISSING WITHOUT YOU... hmmm. eh i want a play toy...
2 find grace |
Open your eyes |
::
2002 5 November :: 4.00 pm
if lovin booty is wrong than i don't want to be right-- VH1
ANyways i am tired and can't sleep and i wanna do sumthing.
Maybe i should work on my biology h/w...
eh that works
Open your eyes |
::
2002 5 November :: 1.04 pm
I am sick*choughs*
no really i am. I like chicken noodle soup...
Hans starts tomorrow and although you want me to break up with him the lines are even and i can't do it. I will come to a conclusion after i get better and am restored to full health.so umm yeah. anyways life goes on. See you tomorrow.
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1 find grace |
Open your eyes |
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