A L I C I A

:: 2003 9 April :: 6.04pm
:: Mood: amused

heh
look everyone!!! it my lips! ive decided to put them there for everyone to see just cause they're my trademark n all. hehe..
ive been sad lately.done a lot of thinking on the bus... well geez im shoved into a corner every afternoon... what else can i do? not like i can be part of a conversation.... w/e tho. not ur guys' fault. its that damn psycho bus driver. but im so lonely... and thats all im gonna say cause i dont wanna make a big deal of it and open this can of worms again. so ive been trying to hide it but today my facade came crashing down.. okay that made it sound dramatic. i was just teary. i just dont wanna make this bigger than it is.. its my thing to deal with so w/e. ill be fine.
in other news... the for sale sign is officially out on jessie's lawn. it sucks because i guess ive been in denial like oh yea... she'll never move. but the reality of it all is starting to sink in. dont worry bout anything tho jess... i know you'll do great in bama (hicksville USA) lol ok i shall go do homeworkor something now
adios

:: 2003 6 April :: 11.06am
:: Mood: hungry
:: Music: whatever is on the tv

lala.. its been a while. not much has happened really... i went to the beach yesterday w/ christini... i got a tan and sea lice... but mines not that bad. dunno bout her tho... ive concluded that i hate staying home on weekends. umm.. poor daniellimocha (new name) got sick :( hope u feel better! her journal pretty much summed up my thoughts as of now... "only you can make the decision of how u want to live your life. If you want to be happy you have to put youself in the right state of mind...or its not gonna work." amen. well im gonna go and try to go running. if nothig else at least i'll get out of the house byebyes

:: 2003 28 March :: 6.59pm
:: Mood: confused

hurry up and wait
dunno what we're doing tonight... sam wants to see chris.. so that means christini and i have to tag along or they cant see each other. i dont feel very well but i'll go anways cause im nice like that. we dont have a ride home though.. so im not even sure what the hell we're doing. i talked to jessie.. and she actually understands how i feel. thanks so much chica for bein there... u helped me alot and you can actually relate to how i feel! lol daddys buying me wendy's.. yayness. i wanna download meteora but that will take me all day. damn dial-up. oh well.. hasta pasta

:: 2003 28 March :: 4.47pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: simple plan.. addicted

i heard you're doing okay..
err... bad week. well first of all the reality set in that i only have 2 months left until jessie leaves.. which really sucks. then ive been depressed cause im lonley...and it sucks liking someone you cant have... yet confused because im not exactly sure how much i like them.... damn bus people make me analyze things like why i like people.. (luv u guys tho) cause it isnt enuff that i like em.. i have to have reasons for ya.. lol... and im just not exactly sure what i want. well.. yes i am. in a way.. gah! and this is something i really just dont feel like talking about because it seems like i always share my problems with the world (the bus) and this is one that they cant really solve for me cause i seriously dont think any of them know exactly how i feel.. so yea. i guess im gonna have to deal with this one on my own.

how long will i be waiting
until the end of time
i dont know why im still waiting
i cant make you *mine*

:(

:: 2003 27 March :: 9.13pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: linkin park

I wanna heal, I wanna feel, like I'm close to something real..
*sigh* weird day. it was pretty okay i guess but I've been really depressed lately.. I'm lonely. My friends have been supportive so thanks. But it's just really really hard liking someone you know you could never get... it's depressing. That's why I want someone for me but they dont seem to exist! lol.. people tell me I just hve to wait but I've been waiting for 14 years already man.. lol w/e.. I dunno I go through stages where I'm happy then the next day I'll be all depressed. Im so confused man! it just feels like i'll never find anyone... err whatever

comment

:: 2003 23 March :: 6.23pm
:: Mood: eh
:: Music: diamonds are a girl's best fiend

hola.. im making yet another hemp thing.. a twistie necklace... i should sell these thinsg... lol. well i wanted to go to the show at pis tonite but we didnt get a ride home.. so nope. my brother just left... he only has one month of school left! no fair! well i found out recently that jess is probably moving agen... so i'm gonna start putting together her going away present.. no im not gonna say what it is cause she reads this so... nice try! lol but im sure she'll like what i have in mind.. actually im bored so ill go work on it now.. adios

skittlicious

:: 2003 23 March :: 1.13am
:: Mood: like i wanna collapse
:: Music: [[nothing]]

((spring break sucks))
I've been at the play the entire spring break oh i do get one day off, monday but i cant go out on monday because i have school on tuesday, :-/

that play is boring now, but hasko said its the play she is most proud of, heh...

brent bucked my 10 dollars >:o

2 ppl are coming to the play...hah

((mandalanda))

::annoying loud TV beep::
ATTN: all tennis matches on tuesday, march 25 are CANCELED
::annoying loud TV beep::

4 read | comment

:: 2003 21 March :: 10.27am
:: Mood: sore
:: Music: simple plan

It's been a while since I've written in here.. just don't have the time I guess. Or I'm too lazy. The latter seems more likely...
Let's see... spring break... well sunday we attempted to go to the beach but as soon as we got there it started to rain s we huddled under this lil pavilion thingy while my dad came back to pick us up lol. So then Celine and I went to Sam's house and slept over. We went swimming, played her drums, made pancakes.. lol.
Then I left the next day and went to kickboxing all by myself... and I was the only non-karate person there, so for the second half I did grabs/take downs w/ mike :) lol.
Then Tuesday I went running in the morning and it was weird because I was just thinking gee, I could use my self defense stuff if anyone tried to take me... then I feel someone tap on my shoulder... I jumped like 10 feet!!!!!! It was Rich.. him n Celine were at the park and they saw me holy crap tho.. that was scary.. lol. Then later on, I went to Boomers w/ Jackie for ten buck tuesday.... it was an interesting day. We waited for like a half an hour to play this game cause these people in front of us beat the game... then decided to start over again. lol. That's the thing about ten buck tuesday... it's a good idea and everything.. but you spend more time waiting to play the games then u do actually playing them. so yea... we got like 1200 more tickets tho.. i think we're up to over 3000? something like that. Oh yea, we've established that there's some sort of DDR underground cult or something.. where people just play it all day long. That's the only possible way these ppl can get this good! lol
Wednesday.. was my lazy day. I just sat around and didnothing the whole day. When my mom got home we went out and I FINALLY got myself that black wife beater! lol. Then I went to kickboxing.. fun fun.
Yesterday we went to the beach.. ('we' being me, jessie, emi, and alex) well we got lost on the way to alex's.. and at emi's they thought it was Dill Shaw. lolol so anywho the beach was fun.. we attempted to tan, went in the freezing cold water, emi got her cheap towel.. lol.. we saw a few really hot surfers.. lol.. then we saw danielle n geori so e moved our stuff over w/ them and we attempted to body surf. well. it was fun and all. but. at one point, I was doing it and the wave took me pretty far... and I ran right into someone... but like I KILLED my finger. completely. I know it's at least sprained.. dunno if its broken.. but that night at kickboxing the joint turned purple/black. yea.. painful. so now its in this splint thing... it better damn well work! lol so anyways.. emi and I turned "red as a lobster" jessie was just her tan self (damn you! lol) and alex was "white ad bread" lmfao!!!!!!!! lolololol wow that was so funny. poor kid. but at least he can move his damn finger! lol. but see my burn is the kind that goes away in a couple of days and turns into a tan.. besides my shoulders... I am pretty dark! (for me, anyways.) so Saturday jessie and I (dunno who else) wanna go back to the beach to try (key word) to surf. I hope my finger is better by then! this sucks.. oh well.. today I plan on doing HW/finding a damn song for drama. lol. perhaps a show tonite... we'll see.

skittlicious

:: 2003 14 March :: 7.42pm
:: Mood: sore
:: Music: [[r.kelly]] ignition (remix)

i hurt my arm, damn brick wall :-/
Not that much has changed since i last wrote...the play is ok im kinda disappointed NONE of my friends are gonna come and as much as i said i didnt want anyone to come, i kinda do..but oh well, \'its not their scene\' i guess??

Today was one of the worst days possible, besides it being the boringest (word?) it was just bad...but me and maria are ok now..im just worried about her and victoria, i know thye both say they wont be friends, but they cant stop being friends...we\'re 3, the 3 kitayz not the 2 or not the 1 but 3!!

I never wanna talk to Tommy again...i never wanna see him again...and i told him that today :-D

my life according to mash ;-)

\"Mandy is going to be living in a beautiful mansion with the lovely **** ****** (lol), who got the money from his country band that has become the best country band in the world. She is going to have a cpl of Jettas and is going to have 1 kid who\'s name is PARIS. She is also going to have a turtle and she is going to be aphotographer (but not as good as the real paris) . The is also going to have gray hair

what\'d u think of that one? holla

((mandalanda))

3 read | comment

:: 2003 10 March :: 8.38pm
:: Mood: crappy
:: Music: linkin park: a place for my head

gahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
today wes semi-okay... the assigned seats kinda sucked.. but my school day was alrite for a monday..... kickboxing however.... SUCKED!!! dude... not only was i completely lazy and out of it, but when we did those stomach thingies i think i pulled a muscle (if thats possible) cause afterwards when we were kicking the bags at one point i was doing a side kick or whatnot... and holy shit.... pain! u know how sometimes u wake up and your calf muscle is in a ball, totally cramped? yes well my ENTIRE stomach did that.. it cramped... and it hurt. and yea.... the eyes were teary lol. and i hope people dont think i didnt it for attention cause it seriously hurt... alot. and also me n jessie weren't really getting along today.. i gave back the necklace! i dunno things just didnt click. *sigh* i need my grape juice! lol

:: 2003 7 March :: 4.43pm
:: Mood: creative
:: Music: simple plan.. im addicted

I Heard your doing ok, but i want you to know...
Im Addicted to you
I can't pretend i don't care when you don't think about me
Do you think i deserve this?
I tried to make ya happy, but u left anyway

[chorus]
ive tried to forget that im adicted to you
but i want it & i need it, im addicted to you
now its over, & I cant forget what you said
& i never, wanna do this again
heartbreaker...heartbreaker...heartbreaker

Since the day i met you & after all we went through
im still addicted, im addicted to you
I think you know that its true
ive gone a thousand miles to get you
do you think i deseve this?
I tried to make you happy
I did all that i could, just to keep you
but u left anyway

Chorus

How long will i be waiting?
Until the end of time
I dont know why im still waiting
I cant make you mine

Chorus

...heartbreaker...heartbreaker...heartbreaker
Im addicted to you
Hearbreaker
Im addicted to you
Heartbreaker
Im addicted to you
hearbreaker
Im addicted to you
heartbreaker

today i stayed home cause i had that bio test and i just did NOT have time to study. last night we went to the play... it was surprisingly good. but i didnt get home until like 10:30ish and i was juss dead tired. only one more week till our much-needed spring break. I plan on juss relaxing. sam... u better talk to daniel cause this fight is so stupid. but ahhh! we're goin to gc.....!!!!! lol oh natalia.. i read ur journal and i dunno whos annoyin u but if its me sorry! i dunno wut i did.. but ok. if it is me u gotta tell me and be straight up, or else i wont know. but anywayz..
tonight im hopin t have a blockbuster night w/ christini. oh yea, she got the warped tour tix! yay.. today i started writing my play. i kinda forgot my main character's name tho.. so i had to improvise lol. i also need a setting.. and a title.. but besides that im good! lol i thought about "A Feud Between Brothers", but it sounds too.. just not right for my play. any suggestions? okay well im gonna go now.. adios

:: 2003 5 March :: 7.15pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: riot girl

gah!
i am so confused... ive been upset lately but im not exactly sure why.... i dont like being sad all the time cause that has never worked out for me and i dont wanna be the complainey type... but i dunno. i overanalyze things.
today we had fcat and we watched movies the whole time.. boring day pretty much.. the bus ride home was interesting.. we drove to south tech to drop of the twin...sam n dan werent talkin so it felt kinda akward.. i hope things work out u guys. then i hear random ppl got assigned seats! WTF! fuckin psycho bus driver.. me n christine went to loggerz and saw mr todd.. poopie! lmao.. mexican.. oh it was weird.. i never get calls on my cell fone.. n that time i ot like 3 at the same time! it was weird... poor celine has strep throat... i was afraid of that.. feel better! i guess im going to kickboxing alone tonight.. christine apparently doenst wanna go w/ me.. i guess shes mad about the jessie thing? i dunno. w/e.. its only wednesday?? ugh... i dunno if i can last the week. oh well..

3 read | comment

:: 2003 3 March :: 5.11pm
:: Mood: good
:: Music: evanesence

hmm lets see.. this weekend i went to the show at pis.. fn fun.. and then on saturday jessie came over and we made lotsa hemp stuff. she slept over... then the next day i got a tan. today was boring... it would have been fun, except that it was a monday. damn mondays... but we had a sub in history... she looked like a deformed baby... lmfao christine.. then on the bus i was half asleep.. i did have fun w/ natalia today tho! and gin n juice! lol jp. eh... tonight i guess i'll go to kickboxing... wow. i have such enthusiasm... what happened? lol byebyes

skittlicious

:: 2003 2 March :: 9.06pm
:: Mood: sad, angry and not understanding
:: Music: [[saves the day]] star me

ive lost again
It's right there and i cant reach it, one more step and i have it or i had it. It reminds me of sand at the beach it just slides through your fingers, the worst part about it all is you cant do anything to get that back.

Ive lost too many things this year and i dont want to lose anything else...but really is there anything i can do to get that it back?

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh