chemical distraction
she's into chemistry and always has a book under her nose, like she can unlock the secrets of the universe between its pages. because sometimes she thinks its possible.

but other times, most of the time, she's wondering if there's life after equilibrium, or how love is like chemicals, and if all the elements in the world will bring her lover back home.

and when she looks at things it's all disjointed, atoms crashing at each other, and she's hoping that one day everything will get along just fine.

so when the winter comes with its chill, and its news, and its gray gray skies, she thinks she'll never love anything again.
and she can't help deciding that somehow its all her fault, she should've looked for him, and maybe if she did, this horrible thing might not have happened.

she puts all her books away.

now its summer and she's got powerlines in her bloodlines because even if it still hurts, she's not wondering whether love is like a sodium explosion.

her hair is brown and everywhere, and sometimes when she cries the only thing she wishes is for molecules to rearrange and make a person to hold her.

and when he comes to her door after months and days, she's thinking it's most likely a dream.
and when he takes her towards something like potassium bombs of light, she hopes its real, so much so that her brain rejects anything but the moment.

because deep down inside, she knew that life was just a hoax, and even if it did taste bitter, she gulped the cyanide down anyways.

sweet words