::
2004 15 August :: 12.33 am
:: Mood: pensive
:: Music: "My Will" -Inu Yasha// "Touched" -Vast [(Other)]
Nakitakunaruno..
So.. Being a sophomore royally sucks. It's completely and utterly boring, and I have almost no time for anything other than school anymore.
I've only attended school as a sophomore two days and I can already tell what kind of a school year it is going to be.. only worse. Even lunch is boring. English is the only class not so bad. That, and Geometry. Because the teacher is funny. Let me tell you [whoever is reading this] about my schedule.
[Block 1] BIOLOGY
We haven't done much of anything in this class. Yet. She's warned us that we work bell to bell. I have homework in that class. Two packets. And it's always freezing in that classroom. Which, I admit, is good. I like having an excuse to wear a jacket. Dull class.. Julie's in there, by the way. But we'll never be able to talk, or anything like that, so it's kind of pointless. Guess it's nice to have someone I'm friends with in there, but.. -Shrug.-
[Block 2] GEOMETRY Pre-AP
The teacher? Hyper. The students? All male. Except for myself. Which is not so bad actually. Not because the guys or attractive or I have a 'crush' on anyone; don't even suggest that. Gross. Because they're hilarious. And when you match up amusing male students with a hyper, excited-about-math teacher who's rather humorus herself, the class period becomes fun. The work isn't so bad, and she talks everything out, and explains it wonderfully. She'll help with class work, as a whole class on the overhead/board, and she'll help with homework. It's not so bad. And I'm not the only one who doesn't really talk in there. Alex, this person I don't really talk to, is kind of quiet, also. It's reassuring, not being the only one who's not making jokes and laughing.
[LUNCH]
Even this has proven to be dull somehow. Maybe it's because I'm used to Skye, Liv, and everyone, the whole big group, being there, being loud, laughing, joking, and talking. Now? It is only me, Laura, and Heather. Occasionally Cassi. Rarely Julie. We have our laughs, but it's just not as fun. It's just a break from the work.
[Block 3] SPANISH 1
Oh. God. I despise this class. The teacher isn't so bad. The notes aren't so bad. I dislike talking out in class, though. Or working with people in this class, because I have no friends in this class, which figures. I hope we get a seating chart, so I won't have to sit by that idiotic girl who continually talks and is just completely and utterly stupid. For lack of better words.
[Block 4] WORLD HISTORY
You know, it just figures that the classes that we're actually allowed to talk in, and allowed to work in groups in, I have no friends in. The first group activity that we did, writing definitions, I ended up one one person who wrote slow, and one who had a pretty face, but, I soon learned, was a rather cruel person. And he 'did drugs.' And he swears every single sentence. What would most people call him? A "poseur?" Laughing at a mistake a mentally slow person made. I know I said I like bad boys, but come on. We didn't even work as a group. We just wrote down the definitions individually, which I would have rather done anyway. Last year Brandy was in my History class, and working in pairs was fun, but this teacher decided that we're going to have to work with everyone in the class. Different people. -Sarcastically.- Grand. Other than all that, the class isn't so bad.
[BLOCK 5] ENGLISH Pre-AP
This class isn't so bad. Laura's in it. The teacher is the same as Spanish 1. We're reading "The Scarlet Pimpernel" in there. So far, it's really interesting. I think this may be my favorite class. English is normally my favorite class anyway. Nothing horribly bad about this class. I'm comfortable with most of the people in this class. The only other class I'm vaguely comfortable in is Geometry. -Shrug.-
End Complaints
You know, everytime I go into the Library, there's either nobody in there to check out the books, or they leave as soon as I enter. Therefore, there is no way I can check out the one book I've been wanting to read for a while. And that is... Wuthering Heights, by Emily Bronte. I've just been wanting to read it for some reason. Maybe because there was a quote in there that I've read before that draws me to it.. Hm.
Went shopping today for a few new clothes. Bought two pairs of dark jeans.. Three shirts which I am going to describe just because I can. One, which is my Mom and Dad's favorite is black, which pink and white striped cuff thingies on the end of each sleeve, which ends a bit past the elbow. Three-quarter sleeves, I believe they are called. And the pink and black pattern is also on the collar. I like it, too. Also, a black shirt with red hems. There's a heart on it, with the American flag inside of it. I bought it because I liked the black and red colors. Plus it was the only other thing I could find that wasn't white, orange, or bright pink. Then there was another one that was an orangish shade of red, I guess, and had some words on it. Can't remember. That's about it.
Oh yeah. This little orange beanie thing came with one of the pairs of jeans. It says "Born to be Free" on it in black lettering, with a motorcycle under it. Just thought that was amusing.
I have to use my locker this year. I have no choice. I cannot carry that backpack. I can hardly pick it up, much less carry it all day. I don't even have my Biology book in there, which is the largest book I have so far. Oh happiness.
I guess things may get better next semester. I only have two real classes next year, which are English and.. -Thinks.- Health.. probably.. Then I have three electives. Drivers Ed, Choir, and.. Newspaper? Don't know why -that's- on there, but it is. I might try and get some of those electives off of my schedule and take 11th grade classes. Trying to graduate early, you know? So I won't have to put up with the idiotic people in this school.
Last year, several of our dear, sweet, intelligent, innocent students got sent to AEP, which is an alternative school, for possessing and selling drugs on campus. Oh, my! What a surprise! Albeit a pleasant one for me. They've all come back this year.. Darn it.
-Sigh.- I'm not looking forward to this school year. Everyone keeps dressing up, putting on makeup and such, just so they can show it off during classes, and in between, and at lunch, but there's absolutely no reason. Why should you have to look good when people should be studying, and paying attention to the teacher instead? Because people are that shallow. And they don't pay attention to their school work anyway, so why not play dress up in their spare time!
I'm sick, literally disgusted, at this. At them. At life in general. It sucks. I'm turning 15 in a few weeks. Shouldn't I be happier? -Frowns.- I guess I should be happy. The older I get, the sooner I get to leave the foolish people that I call my 'classmates' behind, to fret over their ridiculous lives wondering why they can't get into college, and why they never paid attention in classes. Then they can be the ones who look back enviously at those of us who went on to have a successful life. For I know, I just know, that life has got to get better after this. After this, I'll be glad I worked so hard, and tried to maintain good grades. At least, I guess, this is how I hope things turn out.
I'm not really that confident about this.
Somehow, being busy working doesn't give me that release that I need from my thoughts. They still get in the way. Daydreaming, I guess you could call it. However..
I am proud to say that I have absolutely no attraction for anyone in my school, or anyone in particular right now. I am happy to say that I am not drooling over some guy, other than Draco, melting into a pitiful puddle everytime some guy glances past me. Nor am I crying right now because of a broken heart. I haven't broken down in a long while because of something like that.
-Semi-smile.- Summer is over. I guess I should be happy about that. It was a dreadful summer, at times. Summer being over means last year is over. Last year being over means "it" is over. I mean it! I'm honestly over it. Tragic, isn't it? How much I've cried in the past however many months. I don't even feel like reading through old e-mails and journal entries. Maybe I do a bit, but I'm not going to right now. Doubtful I'll let myself anytime soon. Not until I'm completely over it.
[Quotes Found Online From Wuthering Heights]
"I despise him for himself, and hate him for the memories he revives..."
"If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger: I should not seem a part of it... He's always, always in my mind: not as a pleasure, any more than I am always a pleasure to myself, but as my own being."
And the last?
"It is not in him to be loved like me: how can she love in him what he has not?"
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