w a i t e d f o r e v e r a g a i n !


so yeah.. i did it again.. waited forever.

not much has gone on.. registering now for school.. i guess that's exciting. actually it's not.. but the fact that i'm done with spanish is quite the cool deal!

speaking of spanish, i got caught cheating on a vocab quiz for the first time in 3 years of espanol today.. i was dissapointed in myself.

hm.. so last weekend alison & josh & i were out driving around when chase wasn't hanging out with us & then we got alcohol & they ended up not being able to drink it. ((i don't drink, i'm not included in such festivities)) 'cause nobody was spending the night.. then the next night we all decided to go to my house & they were gunna drink up.. & then alison had to be home by 11.00.. which i thought was odd 'cause it was saturday night.. so then at 10.58 she called & got to be out 'til 11.30, which still wasn't a lot of time considering she was tipsy.. & chase & josh had Budweiser.. chase made me take a drink of both alison's smirnoff & his bud.. the smirnoff was good, but his was revolting.. yeah.. quite gross. & then we had to take alison home 'cause it was 11.30. on our way there there was this crazy red camaro that chase was conversing with.. & we had managed to decide that they were pussy cockoffs.. & so on the way back when josh was driving, chase made the decision to go to wal-mart, eventhough i had to be home.. we were turning on arrowhead/12th/10th to get out there & josh was on the telle & he goes 'hey watch this!!' & he squealed his tires around the corner.. & we got a few blocks before josh announced that he was being pulled over. so then he was about to get out of it all.. but then this asian or whatever cop got there & josh got a $69 fine for the squealing & then the dickfucker got both chase & i tickets as well.. only ours were for curfew & $88. so that sucked ass. & we're going to court for ours.. but josh paid his off today. nobody's parents got mad, they were all more mad at the cops than anything.. which i loved. so that was that.. chase & i have the same court date.. so we'll either get to keep our $88 or if worst comes to worst we'll have to pay for it. s'all good.

hm.. i love chase. it's sometimes creepy how he's always right.. always crazy though, for sure. & he wonders why i follow him. if i don't i'll most likely be wrong.. so why not just play it safe, he doesn't but he's always right.. too easy to not follow a path i know is right.

well, today & yesterday were my exciting days this week, chase is working for the rest of it. yeah.. i went to the office yesterday through spanish 'cause i didn't feel good.. i ended up in a room, forgotten, with the lights off, asleep for an hour & 10 mins. it was awesome & i'd do it everyday if i wouldn't fail spanish about it lol.

well, this is grand. i'm soooooo bored. holy god.

alison & josh rock together. ((he came here today)) i'm so happy they're happy. even if i do wish chase'd be all over me again like that.. it's just not nice to have to sit in front of or be the third wheel for.. but you know, i'll live, just like always! as long as they're happy- 'tis what counts.

well, this is done with.. so i shall update for yall later, ta ta

xoxo; kayla

e h h . i w a i t e d t o o l o n g !


so yeah, it's been about forever & a day. i don't want to get into too many details on the little things. the only reason i'm really updating this is to avoid looking at my grades. i think i'm the only one who hasn't. too scary for me. i looked the day after & none were there yet & the only one i know of for sure is spanish & that was an 89% B.. so that's my average & it is sustained. other than that it's just creepy & terrifying & if chase didn't do as well as he wanted ((Barely)) then there's no way i did very well .. at all.

anyways.. alison & josh are together & quite happy. he's stayed the night here like 2 wknds in a row now, but remind me next time that those two spend the night ((if my dad's not an ass & doesn't spaz about the whole thing & lecture chase & josh about how josh needs to be careful about "sleeping" regardless of sexual acts, with a minor, good god that was a crazy night, i was so pissed. as was everyone else, i think anyways. even if they questioned it from josh, there's no way they didn't know that alison's not like that & therefore it makes us think that they do & that hurts & is offensive & the like. asses.)) that i get my own bed. i don't wish to share with them again : no offense ;) i'd just prefer to be the 3rd wheel on the other side of the room. that or my boy stays too lol.

hm.. i stayed at chase's lastnight, you've got no idea the amount of amazingosity it was. incrediblness x so many it's infinity & more. yes.
but then my dad showed up. you better believe it. here's the story:
lastnight at like 10.35 chase realizes & brings up that i've never spent the night at his house before.. & i told him i'd try & make it work if he wanted. but considering my parents are buttholes he tells me it's not worth it 'cause my dad'd say no. i agree, but i knew if i could get them to let me stay at nicole's then i'd be good to go.. & then my dad'd probably drive past her house in the morning, but i figured if he did that he'd just be all smug & call & ask where i was. so i go upstairs & get the ball rollin' & they tell me to give them a call on my way to chase's & they can let me know.. so i do & i've got them convinced with a bit of sucking up to my mom & her 'amazing mac 'n cheese'.. so i head back to my house, pack a bag, eat, & go to chase's for the night :) you've got no idea!! sooooooo happy lol! yeah, so we had one of the best nights of my life & it rocked & i'm still way happy from it :) ! & we're sleeping by like 3ish.. him earlier since it was 'round 2.30 when we turned the tv off.. & then i woke up randomly from 5.37 to 7.06 & then oh yes.. fuckin' 7.40 in the morning my dad goes by nicole's & i'm not there so he rushes to chase's & is in the house yelling at me to have my ass home in 10 min by 7.44. when i heard him yelling i was laying there & i was like 'chase.. do you know who that is?' & he was like 'yes kayla, go!' & i layed there, knowing i was about to be killed. it really was quite terrifying. so i got off of my ass, changed, & took off & was speeding my happy ass home & walked in the door as my dad was taking off his shoes. mind he had like a 5 min head start, i was pretty proud. they were all yelling & whatnot about how it was oh so inappropriate & whatever that we were in his bed with the lights off & the door closed & they knew i'd been there 'cause my car was frozen over.. so i told them that i'd still been up at 5 'cause i couldn't sleep at nicole's & that i left there 'round 5.30, went to the mcd's on 10th, the line was stupid, so i left, called chase & told him i was coming over, & had only been there for about an hour & 45 min when dad barged in, so yeah my car was frozen but not entirely 'cause i hadn't warmed it up but i had taken it from nicole's to his house & that's like a 5 min drive. so yeah.. i just ranted & cried & pulled a guilt trip & that was that. now they're sucking up & trying to be all nice & whatnot.. mmhm. my dad even tried to get me to go grocery shopping with him tonight, i was like 'ah, no thanks. ass.' yes.

anna smoked weed & got drunk. that's that story, we got in more of a fight but it was all twisted & taken wrong & yeah. let's put it this way: if they can't see that they're flirting, then it obviously means nothing. & if it's anything it's physical & i know anna's hotter than me & a blonde, so it's all good. i shall live. he's mine.

& i'm possibly losing weight again. freaking me out 'cause i've definitely been eating.. but oh well, nobody's complaining or anything. & chase hasn't noticed & i haven't been trying to. so yay for that! but i'm sure i'll lose a bit this semester unless i start eating more 'cause i've got that crazy walking class.. it doesn't take much for me to lose. especially in my legs. i'm almost sad 'cause i don't want them to get smaller. officially sad now. damnit.

hm.. so.. i miss my girls sometimes, let me tell you. but then shit happens that i hear about & they're not who they used to be anyways. & that scares me & that makes me not want to hang out with them 'cause what if it's not what it used to be & then things get fucked up.. i'd rather have them at a distance than not have them at all. :/

karlie broke her car.
mine's good.
chase wants another.
alison's is dandy.
i think that's it.

clark keeps calling me. it's strange.

the sims 2 is taking over my life. i'm a junkie. yay for that.

so i think that's it for now.. my shoulder really hurts & my back has killed since i got back from rapid.

ttfn. wow that's old. bye bye

xoxo; kayla

b o o !


paranoid for no reason, table for 1. i shouldn't have mentioned the thing with the profile. 'cause that's all it is. ehh.. sorry.

yeah.. i hope josh & alison get together, they'd rock. regardless of what chase might think.. he thinks josh'd move to fast. i don't. but i know he'd know better so who really knows other than josh himself?

also would be awesome: a massage from chase & him coming back over here. or him staying here sat. night.. not that he would.. but still.

other things on my mind, restless, parents over shoulder.

xoxo; kayla

r a n d o m n e s s !

..stolen: megansangryinch's journal..

never act like you're better than your friends. don't talk down to them. don't make stupid comments that you think are funny but are viewed as mean/spiteful/the like.

don't assume your friends will always be there to pick you up. sometimes, you have to get up on your own, damn it. dont wait around on the floor crying. just stand up, dust yourself off, and keep on going.

don't make mountains out of mole hills. when little things happen, leave them little! when you blow things out of proportion to get some 'well-deserved' attention, you come across as a brat.

being envious of your best friend is an ugly situation. when they live the life you want so badly, you push yourself away. you dont want to be with them anymore. and then you're scared because you're all alone in this big noisy pushy world with no one to hold you close. the feelings that accompany this situation are so horrible. when you're down and out for the count, you turn your back on the one person who could make you feel better. what a stupid thing to do. and besides, 'you always want to be everything you're not. you idolize the one who you see as perfect. once you peel away the layers of make up, paint, and patches you'll find them no better off, if not worse, than yourself.'

there is too much pressure on finding love. (or making love for that matter. [if you can still call it that..]). no one is patient anymore. everyone wants it. now or never. will most of us meet the one and fall in love? yes. will we wait for the one before having sex? probably not. because virginity is some you throw around. right? wrong. or so it should be. but it isnt. people throw around their heart (and genitals) like candy. they give it away to someone whom they desire but (chances are) are not in love with.

at one point or another, everyone wants to run away. literally or metaphorically. you seek shelter with someone whom you trust or love. a brother or best friend. someone who would take care of you at all costs. and hiding away for a weekend or so just might change the way you feel towards living.

people slack off for one of two reasons. one: theyre down right lazy. two: they have nothing left inside them to motivate themselves to keep going. and if the latter is the case, no amount of disappointed family and friends can change the affected person. because when theres nothing left inside to motivate you to live, the outside pressure merely collapses the person, pushing them smaller and smaller.

(i've known this for awhile. just thought to say it as well.) you don't chose who you fall in love with. i mean, yes, you see someone who you think is attractive. you talk to someone who you think is nice/funny/smart. but there is no decision making when it comes to who you love. and, as upset as it makes us, you can't chose who loves you. either on their own or in return.

the above listed were and were not directed at particular people. if you think it applies to you, it probably does. if you think it involves you, youre probably right.

well, that was random, but it fit nicely & saved me a lot of typing. thanks to megan's journal appearently, if that's who owns the journal i stole that from.

stuff:

I don't get many things right the first time
In fact, I am told that a lot
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls
Brought me here

And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face?
Now I see it everyday
And I know..
That I am
I am, I am
The luckiest

I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you.

-------------------

I set out on a narrow way, many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two, ..kept pushin' through
I couldn't see how every sign, pointed straight to you
That every long lost dream led me to where you are..
This much I know is true, That this blessed broken road
Led me straight to you
I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there, you understand..
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms.



go time though, ttyl

xoxo; kayla

ps.. this is actually from PC1 on 1-4-05, but i'm too lazy to totally update again. lastnight chase changed his pro.. i know i shouldn't worry, it's only a profile & he didn't seem to have a prob with it or think anything of it, but you know.. actually, you don't. but the last times we broke up shortly after the pro changed & shit went bad. so i've got reason to fret if you're asking me. not that you did. but going now though, doing a semester test.. bye bye

l a h d e e d a h


i just realized i don't know people like i used to. my friends aren't who they used to be & neither am i. i used to know my parents.. i don't anymore. pretty sure i know chase pretty well, though me not knowing everyone else makes me question it a lot of the time. it's kind of making me an introvert.. which is no good. just thoughts i guess.

my parents both drank tonight. chase saw my mom decently drunk. i was mortified. and quite angry. & tired of it all.

i worked for like an hour & a half today.. went to wal mart & drove around with anna & my mom 'cause she hadn't been in my vehicle yet.. & then went to tesch's.. then came here with chase. we ate pie. & he had some of those reeses things & a breakfast pizza & 2 cokes. we had a good time :)

well.. i need to get my nails filled.

and josh is on the telle. and drunk. i must go.

xoxo; kayla

b o r i n g o s i t y !


yeah, that huron plan definitely didn't work. ended up just staying here until it was time to go to rapid.

i'm obviously back from rapid though.. Xmas was alright. got a few grand things, you'll hear of them if they're important. i left my telle there.. in rapid, that sucked. but it came back today.

i got a car today too!!!!!! haha.. yesterday actually, but yeah.. finalized it today. it's a '99 ford contour.. sexy, oh yes. a 4dr.. sometimes it's even 'zippy' if it wants to be, maroon. lovely. i am quite proud. chase has no prob going with me.. such a punk, said he'd never go with me & was in it the first day. lol oh yes.. nice indeed.

Some people don't see very much,
But they can see I love your every touch.
Every now and then..
I feel your touch upon my skin.
It sends chills down my spine..

Baby can you see,
How much you mean to me..
Can you see that I would die for you
Or are you just blind too?

Those who can see it all,
Can see that it is for you I'm going to fall.
You make me feel so happy, you make me smile..
Sometimes baby we fight,
But it's because I love you, and it's going to be alright.
----jLo

just a few thoughts. talked to josh tonight, hoping he'd have some answers for some chase questions, no such luck. it's alright, i'll make it. i just hope he's happy. that's all i'm fighting for.. that & my happiness.. which i'd give so he could have his. chase just seemed mad tonight, so i have no idea. i wanted to ask him, but when he's mad, he's best left alone.. i've learned it, though i tend to forget at the time. no good. but yeah.. it's alright, i love him & i just want to help.. life's hawt like that.

hm.. my back hurts. i think chase should give me a massage.. that would be quite awesome.

well, this is boring. as is life. today.. yesterday, to be technical, was 8 months with chase. quite the day, got a car, got a new license ((i lost mine)), pickup at smith's & walmart & jacob's, went to the mall, delivery at smith's, my house, jacob's house, my house, anna's house, got people, went to a movie ((darkness, never again will i waste such time or money)), went to mcd's, came home. yayyy for all of that. at least chase was there.. he always makes it worth it.

soo.. yeah.. new year's plans: going to jacob's for a family & his gf dinner 'cause chase has to work & now can't go. then going to my house for no appearent reason 'cause it's boring here, so unless it's just couples, it will be no shin dig. yeah.. i'm not in a very good mood, going to go now. ttyl

xoxo; kayla

i h a t e X m a s !



Your World (Part One): What is your world made of? [girls]
brought to you by Quizilla


i thought that was nice. fitting really.

what a Xmas rush. tomorrow, if my plan goes right:
up by 11 (latest) packed & ready by 12:30, clean & be done by 4 (with leeway time that i'm sure i'll use), wrap the many gifts i've got & drop off anna's gift (unless she's coming with) by 5:45, come home, unwrap traditional 1 gift (Xmas eve for us) & hit road by 6:15 in huron by like 8:25, then i'd have to leave by like 9 in the morning & get here 'round 11.

yeah.. then mad dash to rapid city & i promised to drive.. which might've been stupid considering i have a paper or 2 to write. oh well.

yeah, yesterday i ran around with alison & josh & got most of chase's stuff, which i'll fill in after he gets it all, just in case he reads like he could have today 'cause i'm a loser & i keep this up here all the time. but i'm considering writing the link to this somewhere on a present of his, just to see if he notices.

today i didn't go to school 'cause it's wed & we get the rest of the week off for Xmas break.. jacob went for the second half of the day & so did alison. chase left at lunch & i think that's it. then chase & josh came over while i was getting ready & that was grand. then we hung out & after that they went to the mall while my dad & i went shopping for mi madre.. then alison picked me up at wally world & we met the guys out at the mall. then we went & got undies & socks & then hollister & i spent all of my $. it was nice. then i got more stuff for mi madre & she took care of the father shopping. i'm going to finish it tomorrow by getting him a gift certificate at the car wash ((10th st. auto lol)) & that'll be fun. joy. hmm.. then we went & got alison's madre her thing deal & i got anna's thing deal at cetury.. then i felt bad for josh 'cause i thought he was at chase's Xmas thing feelin' outta place.. so i texted him & told him to gimme a call if he needed out, a few min later he called & we met up at hyvee & got stuff to make chase's reeses things & then all came here. then chase came over. they ate. we hung out & talked online & on the telle. then alison had to go.. & mis padres came home, more of hanging out & talking, made those things, then hung out some more, then everyone left. it was beautiful.

sooo joy. so stressed. can't wait to get this holiday stuff over with.

i think it's go time. ttyl, bye bye yall

xoxo; kayla

ps.. discovery! chase is now planning on just keeping the fiero. i think it rox. a malibu would have rocked just as much, but you know what? this he can't get dissapointed with. & that makes me happy.

p u s s y !



Sweet Pussy. Ya know, it's no wonder everyone likes
you! *big smile*


What Kind of Pussy Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

i a m a t h e f t !


Ins't it wried taht you can sltil raed tihs eevn tohugh the ltetres are mexid up? it's bceuase the hmuan mnid olny fcouses on the frsit and lsat ltetres of the wrod. It's like beauty, people only pay attention to the outside.
---the journal of the grand & great ali d!

that looks like alid. which is odd.

yeah.. so today, plans to go Xmas shopping for chase with josh. ((who's coming here in a few hours after school & whatnot)) & who alison wishes to meet & he wishes to meet her. they saw pics of each other lastnight & liked. it should be a good time, aside from the fact that i've got to go shopping for the second time in 2 days & it makes me sad. hm.. but it is for chase, so that makes it good.

well, this is boring. i don't know what i'm doing in this class anyways. go time. ttyl

xoxo; kayla

i w i s h i w a s w i t h c h a s e !


choolsay siay hetay tupidestsay hingtay vereay. iay antway otay ogay omehay ownay.

fteraay orkway miay oinggay otay ogay masxay hoppingsay ithway nnaay. oyjay! ollay, ellway, imetay otay ogay! tyltay,

xoxo; aylakay

» b o r e d o m o s i t y !


*Your stripper name (name of first pet of same sex + street you first lived on): Bearry Huntington
*Your movie star name (name of your favorite snack food + grandfather's first name): Chocolate Dick
*Your fashion designer name (first word you see on your left + favorite restaurant): Nile Mcd's
*Exotic foreigner alias (favorite spice + last foreign vacation spot): Sugar Florida
*Socialite alias (silliest childhood nickname + town where you first partied): Squirt Notown
*"Fly girl" alias (a la J. Lo) (first initial + first two or three letters of your last name): K. Lit
*Icon alias (something sweet + any liquid in kitchen): Strawberry Cider
*Detective alias (favorite baby animal + where you went to high school): Puppy Washington
*Barfly alias (last snack food you ate + your favorite alcoholic drink): AngelFood Cake None
*Soap opera alias (middle name + street where you live): None Savannah
*Rock star alias (favorite candy + last name of favorite musician): Skittles Many

today was dandy.. waited for chase to get home, went to his house, forgot to get the shoes & socks that i went there for but i did get my ID back.. & then i came home. joy.

lastnight was grand.. & somewhat insane.. alison & i drove around for forever & went through about 80 different plans, including going all the way to wm7, parking, turning the car off, & then deciding not to go to the movie ((the notebook)) & tun of other things.. & ended up deciding to not do anything, so we went to her house & watched a movie & ordered pizza & breadsticks & then went out & got a coke icey & a propel & donuts.. grand. so we ate & then i went home. then i talked to chase & josh for forever until about 4.45 when chase was too tired to talk, which was crazy 'cause they were drinking 'bottled Mt. Dew' ((i realize this wasn't actually Mt. Dew, eventhough josh tried to make me think it was..)) things got quite crazy. yeah.. i think josh should move here, he's like 19 & chase's uncle, but more of a friend than anyone could ask for & quite the cool dude. i like him, i know chase would benifit from his being here too, amazingly. but then again.. those two together & i might get left behind. but lastnight josh did say that if chase didn't have me, his life would be about as bad as his.. & apparently it can't get much worse. so i'm glad to be here, for many more reasons than that.

& friday was insane.. went to formal, pulled it off. wore a dress & everything, put my hair up & all of that jazz. chase looked awesome as always, but quite sharp. if i figure out how, i'll have to throw some pics on here. yeah, the day went as this: nicole alison & karlie came over to see the dress & to show me their hair ((they got out of school at 2.30 to go get it done..)) ran around & went tanning, got my nails done, found shoes which ended up not working, got anna, came here, got ready, bob & konnie came over, alison & karlie & nicole came back,the chases came over, closely followed by austin & cody, then we had the pic frenzy, then all but the chases & i ran off to the dance, while we went to get kelsey & her friend whose name i can't remember, & while we were on our way there chase l remembered that he didn't have his ID, which is when i realized i didn't have my telle lol.. so yeah, we had our pic frenzy a few more times at chase's & at kelsey's & then we went to the dance.. which was awesome. chase rocks.. dancing with him rocks as well, he definitely kisses my neck when we grind, orgasmic. & he's awesome to slow dance with. that was the first time i've danced with anyone i've liked, let alone been in love with, & he kissed me & ohhmmyyggoodd lol it was awesome, in front of people & everything! woohoooo! lol yeah, he's amazing. & he was soo hawt all dressed up. he still thinks he's ugly, i still think he's insane. yeah. then he left at like 11.30ish & went to tesch's ((who has mono)) & they all hung out, then i went there after the dance, at like 12.30 ((i had to go home & change first, my dress was so tight in the chest area.. i couldn't breathe.. haha)) so i went in my hawt slippers, zip up hoodie thing, tank top, sweat pants, & moveable bra & undies, yay for all of that! haha, so we hung out & i got home at like 1.40.. mmhm.

& THURSday! was crazy.. which might explain the whole formal thing. i suppose i could do that.. haha. alright, so thursday anna & i & chase went with anna so she could get her nails done, first it was just me offering to take anna 'cause she was having trouble getting rides & whatever else worked out.. so i did & we were going & chase called & had nothing to do so i told him to come with. soo he did haha. i was driving so he hated it, but that's okay. & we went & did that & chase was having a hayday cracking jokes about the dude who did the nails & how he made the nail as short as his dick & it was quite short, which made it quite funny. haha yeah.. so then we decided to give chase l a call & he was just getting off of work & he told us to go to mcd's.. so we did. lol & then anna was supposed to go to this game out at the new SFC, but i was like 'ah, no way in hell dude.. not only do i not know how to get out there, but i couldn't make it home. i'm sorry.' & so then she was all bummed & we were just sitting in the van.. mine ((my chase)) had decided to go with holms ((chase l)) & they were just starting the car to head out & they drove up next to the van, which wasn't even started yet & so i put the key back & rolled down the window & holms yells out 'hey kayla!! chase wants to go to formal!! he's going!!' i was like 'WTF? that mean you don't want me to go or what?' 'cause it was already like 7.45 & the mall closes at 10.. i had no dress or shoes or anything & hadn't wanted to go.. so yeah, my panic had begun. but they were definately serious & we were definitely going. sooo the mad dash to the restaraunt where my parents were for some cash & straight to the mall, i found a dress, made chase come out there, called my mom for her to go out there, spazed around a bit more, tried a few more on, found chase, tried the dress on for him, he liked it but wasn't so partial to tell me so in the convincing way he later did. & then my mom came out there & saw it & we got it & then we went back to my house ((after my dad got the keys from anna's house & brought them out to us 'cause they had been left in her purse when they pulled the anna/mom exchange out at the mall)) to put together our outfits. chase had already gone to WALMART *such a smart guy!! & gotten his outfit aside from shoes & a possible tie.. so then we were at my house, i changed, they discussed the clothes & whatever, & then chase was still not changed & i was like 'dude.. come on, let's go here, put yours on. i'm not gunna be the only one in formal attire here tonight. i want to see!!' & he was like 'well kayla, get the bag.' & it was like 3 feet away & i was like 'wow, get it yourself.' & he goes 'get the bag!' & i was like 'hey now, watch it.' but my dad, who was standing right there, didn't say a word, so i was like 'okay, something odd is going on.' so i got the bag & made to hand it to him & he was like 'get it out for me! geez!' & i was like 'i'm pretty sure you got this. i think you can handle it. honest.' & he was like 'kayla, come on. just do it.' & i was like 'woooww.. big baby.' so i was handing him these close & there's this box in the bag. & it was all neatly wrapped & beautiful & had this cute bow & everything on it & i saw it & just went on 'cause i figured it was something for his mom or sis.. & he's like 'whoa, kayla, what's that?' & i was like 'well i dunno chase, it's your bag, you tell me.' & he goes 'well yeah, but it's not my box. what's in it?' & i was like 'chase, i don't know. it's not mine.' & he goes 'well it's not mine! you better open it & see what it is.' & i was like 'chase.. i don't want to open it if it's not mine.' & he was like 'kayla, open it. wow.' hahahaa so i was like 'alright..' & i start to open it & i was like afraid of the paper, i didn't want to rip it, it was awesome, so i'm all being careful with it & the telle rings & it's alison & i was like trying to be nice, but not wanting to talk 'cause i was already shaking & freaking out & i wanted to just figure out waht it was, but then we were trying to find her a date ((lol alison)) & so of course we both had to talk to her, so then we did that & i told her i had to go but i'd talk to her later or whatever.. so i go & i'm sitting here with this box that i haven't opened yet & i still don't know what it is. all i know is that it says riddles. which is where my bracelet's from. so i go 'hey hun.. is riddles pretty popular with you? i bet they like you there ;)' & he was like 'haha, open it! what are you thinkin?' & i was like 'oh god i dunno, just waiting to be off the telle!' & so i open it & there's this beautiful black hills gold ring with a diamond in it. AMAZiNG! i was like 'ohmygod, wow.' & he goes 'it's a real diamond, the lady told me so.' & i was like 'ohmygod, wow. are you kidding me? ohmygod. chase. wow.. what finger does this go on?' & he goes 'well, not the left ring!' & so i laughed & i was like 'well obviously.. ohmygoddd..' & i put it on the right ring & it was like this PERFECt fit, couldn't be better. & i was like 'are you this good or did you know my size?' & he didn't know my size, so he's that good. better really, but yes. & i jumped up & gave him a hug & told him i loved him & thanked him & yeah, if my parents hadn't of been there it might've been nice. but i was all shaking & still in the dress & felt way elegant & awesome & yes, about crying, it was insane. i was in shoocckk. i loved it. still do. he's incredible. i love him. joy!!! haha.. still makes me super happy. i can't believe he got me a gold ring with a diamond in it. a diamond. good god! i definitely never knew i wanted one, especially if it was just for Xmas. yeeeeeah, so that was awesome! lol & most of the night. then we talked about how i was going to wear my hair & discussed tie possibilities & whatnot, & he left around 12.15 & we went outside & then to his car lol & then i came back in & we went to bed after talking on the telle to say goodnight.. & that's when you go back to friday & that's about it. lol

thus, you have my weekend. go time though, sleepyness..

xoxo; kayla

m o r e p o e m s !



I Love You
by Nichole Lynn Ponte

I love you with all my heart.
It was the greatest feeling from the start.
I hope these feelings never change,
Because without you I am not the same.
You are the greatest person I have ever known.
I hope you know that with the love I've shown.
I never ever want to hurt you,
Because if I do it hurts me, too.
I hate it when you're sad.
Especially when i can't make you glad.
I always think I did something wrong,
Until you lay me down and sing our song.
I am telling you this because I love you.
Without you I wouldn't know what to do.
I want to hold you day and night,
And never let you out of my sight.
Please never let me go.
I have too much love to show.


chase on telle.. must go, finish later
thanks for the comments & help commenters!

xoxo; kayla

a n y o n e k n o w ?

hello.. anyone know how to fix my title thing so that i can change the font & it's format & size & all of that cool stuff? i can get it to change color, but i want to center it & make it the same font as the rest of my journal.. i think i know how to change the size, but i am otherwise clueless. formatting isn't my thing.. so if anyone can help me out, leave a comment por favor ((please))!

that is all, i'm just waiting for chase to gimme a ring so i can go to sleep.. i'm dead tired. i worked for like an hour & 15 today, plus school was hellish, & i ran around with nicole ((mcd's & chase's & walmart)) while my parents went Xmas shopping.. my night was basically this: we dropped off the home made reeses at chase's 'cause i know he loves them & i wanted to do something nice.. & i talked with his dad, apparently they got in a fight, which is never any good. it must have been a big one, too 'cause his dad was concerned that he might not go home tonight, but stay here or somewhere. :/ odd.. so yeah. but when i went to mcd's with nicole he got one of those crazy happy smiles with the dimples & everything, made me feel like king shit of turd hill ((haha.. chase terminology)) & then he was happy.. but i had to yell to him to call his dad if he got the chance, so i wasn't sure if i made him mad.. so at like 10 i went back to mcd's & wanted to make sure all was good.. but he was teaching terrace *sp how to clean the grills so he couldn't talk, but when we did say a few words he seemed amazingly tired.. so i was like 'long day hun?' & he was like 'ha.. if you only knew the half of it.' & just looked sad. i was really sad then.. i was like 'i'm sorry, everything okay?' & he just kind of brushed it off like he always does, i felt bad.. nothing i could do either, 'cause as far as he knows or probably will know, i didn't talk to his dad for longer than to tell him what was up & for him to ask me to ask chase to call him tonight.. so yeah.. i know he'd not tell me about a fight they got into.. he can always handle everything so well.. yet another thing i admire about him. though sometimes it makes me feel like shit 'cause i feel weak & stupid & frail & like he's better than me for it.. but then again, that's like self pity right there for ya. so i'm shutting up. but anyways, he just brushed it off all nonchalant & whatnot.. so then we talked for about 10 seconds more & he said he had to get back to teaching him how to work the grill & that he'd call me later when he got home.. i said alright, he said okay, he told me he loved me ((always a good sign.. & an awesome way of letting me know i'm on the good side)) & that he'd see me later, i said the same thing back. joyness. so now i'm just waiting for the call.. i got about an hour & a half left. but someone's on their sn.. just dunno who. too tired for this. goodnight ladies & gents!

xoxo; kayla

ps-- i hope i don't join the mono frenzy that's raging about. it'd be disastrous!

p o e t r y


more randomosity until i get off my ass & finish writing about the past 2 weeks, i swear i will too. & it's all chase stuff, i know you're excited! anyways.. poetry frenzy:

Walk Slowly

If you should go before me, dear, walk slowly
Down the ways of death, well-worn and wide,
For I would want to overtake you quickly
And seek the joumey's ending by your side.

I would be so forlorn not to descry you
Down some shining highroad when I came,
Walk slowly, dear, and often look behind you
And pause to hear if someone calls your name.

- Adelaide Love
»chase had a different version of that in his profile while we were apart.. i don't care who it was about then, i'm just saying. i was in the mall with anna & wanted to go in a book shop & i saw this poetry book that looked interesting. so i pick it up & open it, & this is the first thing i saw & read. it was crrazzy!

I Love You

You tell me that you love me
And that I hold your heart,
I pray forever you'll be with me,
And never a day apart.

I love you so very mch.
I love your eyes, your hands, your face,
Your gentle, loving touch,
And your warm, sweet embrace.

You hold me in your arms
And I never want to part.
You keep me safe from harm
And I keep you in my heart.

Now you whisper in my ear
Tender words of love,
And as you hold me, oh so near,
I thank the Lord above.

Heaven sent you to me
And all my dreams came true.
So here's six little words to you from me:
I really, truly do love you!

-Heather Walton

None Like You

I've known too many
to say they care;
I've known too many
to say they'd be there.

I've known too many
to say they were mine,
I've known too many
to give me that line.

I've known to many
who told me a lie;
I've known to many
who made me cry.

I've known too many
to come and go;
I've known too many
who didn't like no!

The day I met you
my life changed;
The day I met you
I felt so strange.

You made me laugh
and made me smile;
How was I to know
that all the while,

You were the one
and I didn't know;
You'd be mine
and I'd love you so!

I've known too many
but none like you,
and they don't matter
'cause I love you!

-Heather Walton

i love that one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol

Bayard Taylor:

I love thee, I love but thee
With a love that shall not die
Till the sun grows cold,
And the stars grow old...

Alfred Tennyson:

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

Ann Landers:

If you have love in your life it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you don't have it, no matter what else there is, it's not enough.

Don Byas:

You call it madness, but I call it love.

Franklin P. Jones:

Love doesn't make the world go 'round; love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

Herman Hesse:

If I know what love is, it is because of you.


L o v e
by Roy Croft

I love you,
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.

I love you,
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.
I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;
I love you
For putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can't help
Dimly seeing there,
And for drawing out
Into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find.

I love you because you
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple;
Out of the works
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.

I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
Could have done
To make me good
And more than any fate
Could have done
To make me happy.
You have done it
Without a touch,
Without a word,
Without a sign.
You have done it
By being yourself.
Perhaps that is what
Being a friend means,
After all.


Unknown:
Love is blind, but friendship closes its eyes.


"When the emotion is love... everyone is a poet."

yup.. that's about all for now, ttyl

xoxo; kayla

j u s t a q u o t e
with you i've become something i never thought i could be -- myself.


joy for fridays Ü

xoxo; kayla

t h i n g s & s t u f f .


so yes.. sitting now. i still haven't written the whole weekend thing, it's quite the process. & really, it's not something i'm so eager to remember. but i'll get there.. give it time. 'cause i know you're waiting.

chase is actually online. this is to talk to jacob i'm sure, but still. we all hung out today.. alison & i hung out in the parking lot of the career center while they went in & filled out apps. for the place & then for holiday inn.. & then they each had an interview.. i was going to, but i know chase doesn't want to work with me. & i really want to work at apple tree.. also, i didn't want to sit through that whole process.. definitely not that paitent for like an hour's worth of info & questioning. anyways.. so yeah, alison & i were having a grand old time in the parkinglot, getting strange looks & whatever, & then we went & got a large fry from Mcd's ((on 10th)) & we ate those in about 6 min.. & then jared came by & then left to take his mom home & came back & the guys were done, so we went to Mcd's again so they could all eat.. & then alison & jacob had church & i was in trouble, so we all went home. then i ate & faught with mis padres, so i called chase so he could save me but he didn't want to do anything but sleep. so i waited 'til 7.15 & called to wake him up.. but then he was still tired & didn't want to do anything.. so i hung up with him & faught with my parents some more, which made me sad & really miss chase.. so i called him eventhough he said he was going to sleep & asked him if he'd come over.. he said maybe later 'cause he was tired.. & it sounded like a no. so i was sad.. & then a bit later he called back & was on his way, though he denied it. then we got a hold of tesch & he came over & we left & ran around & stuff & it was nice.
i wish chase would stop using the breaking up with me thing as a threat. eventhough he's said he doesn't mean it, after last weekend it just feels all too real. makes me saddd..
i was considering giving him this linkness.. but i doubt i will. 'cause.. well, he's never on & he knows all of this anyways.. indeed.

well, i am boring. i hate school, honestly. hmph. fuuucck hw. oh well, i'm just gunna go 'cause there's no point in this.

oh yes.. formal.. off again.

haha.. bye bye

xoxo; kayla

ps- the pro has not changed for my boy.. & we're discussing the tuneage & how he hasn't sung it in a looongg time & i miss it. grand, i know. ta ta

t h e r e ' s s o m u c h t o s a y !

good god you have no idea. last weekend was so insane.. i don't even know where to begin. but i suppose beginning at the beginning might work.

i started typing it out on the laptop this morning at like 12.45.. i stopped at 1 & hadn't even reached the end of friday night, beginning with when school got out. so needless to say there's a lot to talk about. & i know my chicas might not really care about all of this, but i promised them the full story & i plan on giving it asap. but PC is almost out & i really don't think i want to start halfway through the night with this whole story thing, so i'll just finish with the laptop & then email it so it's all in one. just letting everyone know i'm alive. & all is right in the world again. haha.. so update laterness.

xoxo; kayla

ps.. what the hell is going on with this layout? sorry, but it's fucking stupid.

r a n d o m t h i n g s . .

i haven't updated for real in a while.. so i thought i might give it a try.

hiccups are really annoying. second time today.

yeah.. so i just realized something while talking to this cool chick senior next to me. chase is right, as always.. i really don't have it that bad. yeah.. my mom's got some problems. & technically speaking, she's insane. no, i'm not being sarcastic. my friends appearently only think i am, because if they took me seriously i think they'd care a bit more than they appear to. but i don't blame them, because i usually laugh it off, or change the subject without making it super obvious about how serious i am. but it is serious & she is a somewhat insane alcoholic. although that whole alcoholic bit is full-fledged & totally relevant. it plays the biggest part. but honestly, she's not who she used to be. & i miss her & how & who she was.. but i've got to learn to get over & past it. deal with it, accept her for who she is & always remember that i love her anyways. which i do. always will. but sometimes it's hard to see that.. when all you can think about is what you see.. which isn't what it once was. & it really makes me sad sometimes. most times. a lot of the time. the majority. & i think it gets to me a lot more than i could admit, even if i wanted to.. because i'm a proud person when it comes to these kinds of issues.. but it's more than what i've made it seem. so i blame no one for not knowing & ask no one for sympathy or understanding, or anything at all for that matter. just to hear what i'm saying & join in my efforts to try to accept things for what they are. not only with my family, but with life. 'cause i know i need to work on it.. guarenteed the rest of the world does.

done with that for the time.

stuff with chase is good, of course. i remember last year like a week before X mas he broke up with me.. sadosity. but i'm quite sure i'm safe from that this year. no broken heart for my gift, thanks. he's been a bit more brutally honest & somewhat crude lately.. which applies by my definition as well as his, so it's a good word. i think it's because of how he feels about his friends, or lack thereof.. but yeah.. it's teaching me, regardless of whether or not that was his intention. i kind of miss how we used to be though.. he's still just as sweet, only he's got to be a badass to cover it up. not all of the time or anything, but more so now than ever before. it's good though, i need a swift kick in the ass sometimes. & he's more than willing to give it. Ü

hm.. so winter formal.. yeah.. anna really wants me to go. i really don't want to wear a dress. or demon shoewear.

will finish later

s t i l l n o t r e a l l y u p d a t i n g
6 months!!! Ü yay!

<3

Your Love Situation by Amberishjewel
Username?
Your Love Is...	Soft
During Lovemaking You Act...	Like a vampire, very seductive
Your Partner Is...	Your soulmate
Your Partner Has Said That You...	Are their bitch
Your Love is Summed Up In A Quote.	"I love thee wild with desire"
Quiz created with MemeGen!

--»--» if i had to choose whether to breathe or love you, i'd use my very last breath to tell you that i love you.

indeed.

& i have officially deemed him terrified. not that i blame him or think it's bad, wrong, or anything negative. actually, i'd be much much much more so. & i'm scared like hell as it is.

xoxo; kayla

i n s c h o o l . a g a i n .


life can be bogus. but i'll live it anyways.

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Low
Avoidant:	Moderate
Dependent:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

shit happens. i'll get over it.. just back off.. please. thanks.

i'll update when life isn't such bullshitness. so it might be never.

xoxo; kayla

. . .


just when you think you've got it down..
something changes.



xoxo; kayla

a h h h h ! y e s .

i just wanted to say.. it's odd how things change. nobody seems to really actually care anymore. people have let things slide to the point where life is only about accepting what is there & never reaching for more. nothing is what it should be because nobody cares enough to strive for the best & so nothing is. it's only settling & i don't understand what happened & why nobody tries for what they deserve. it sounds corny.. but there's no passion in any of my friends anymore. they're just dead tired & tired of feeling dead about shit they won't try to change. i noticed this in myself first, so i'm not being a hypocrite.. it's just that i now see it.. so i want to change it. i wonder if anyone's considered looking.. if they saw it.. would they try even then?

just my odd ramblings. i still love all my girls & most of the guys.. i just wish people cared more.

wow freshmen flirt a lot. chicks are practically screaming 'fuck me i'm waiting'

good god. i give up.

later y'all

xoxo; kayla

n o t i n a g o o d m o o d

for some reason, life isn't good at this moment. i wish the fucker with the engine & money for the fiero & shit deal would fucking go through with it or finalize blowing him off 'cause this is fucking bullshit & it's making chase in a really bad mood. i think he feels like less because of it. which makes me feel like shit 'cause there's nothing i can do about it. i think he also feels like because he doesn't hang out with friends of his own ((so he says.. maybe if he just had more freaking time)) that he's keeping me from being with my friends. which isn't true. just sometimes i don't want to deal with shit that goes along with hanging out with chicks. the drama is endless & mostly pointless. ahhh. i give the fuck up. now deal with my boredom.

1. What is your favorite number? 7 & it's multiples.. 42, 5, stuff.
2. What is your favorite letter? i don't know
3. Which country is your favorite? United States
4. What is your favorite color? blues greens pink black, etc.
5. How many pants do you have? i have around 4 that i don't wear. i wear about 3.. so 7.
6. What is your favorite animal? Bearry
7. What is your fantasy pet? i don't have one
8. What is your favorite fantasy animal? something off of harry potter.. i must say, they are quite interesting.
9. Do you even like animals? yes
10. What is your name? Kayla.. still.
11. How old are you? 16
12. Where are you from? a little town on the prairie
13. What is your favorite piece of clothing? uh.. my dark hollister jeans or one of my hoodies
14. What is your favorite piece of jewelry? the bracelet chase got me & my rings from my parents & gma.. all of which are black hills gold
15. What is your favorite thing that you own? my bracelet
16. What is your most embarrassing moment or one of them? uh.. i don't know, i make a fool of myself a lot, it's no big deal
17. How many times a day do you brush your teeth? 2 or 3
18. Do you wear glasses? sometimes
19. Do you wear contact lenses? yeah
20. Have you gotten lasik eye surgery? nope.. i should though
21. Have you ever gotten any kind of surgery? nope
22. Do you know anyone who has gotten surgery? yup
23. Who is your hero? probably chase.
24. Who is your favorite historical person? a lot, actually
25. What is your favorite historical period? it's a thinker.. probably the whole aincent egypt scene deal.. 'cause that's when most of the basis for civilization ((aside from the greeks)) developed.
26. What is your favorite word? i don't have one as far as i know.
27. What is your favorite quote? everything happens for a reason.
28.. Who said it? many people
29. What is your favorite saying that you made up? i haven't made a saying up for a long time.. so i have no fav. anymore
30. What color is your hair? Brownish.. but i recently discovered that the tips of my hair are oddly auburn, while the roots have remained the dark ashish brown
31. What color are your eyes? Brown
32. What size shoe do you wear? 6-8.. somewhere in there
33. How long is your hair? decently long.. past my shoulder
34. Are you a girl or a boy? chica
35. Did you realize that there were two periods after #28? yeah
36. Did you realize that and think it was a typo? didn't care enough to get past the realization of it.
37. Now are you saying to yourself something like "Oh, yea! I knew that all along!"? still didn't care enough
38. Now are you starting to get annoyed? no.. i'd have to care first
39. Are you confused? no.
40. Do you even know how to count to two-hundred and one? in english as well as spanish.
41. Are you in elementary school? no.
42. Are you in high school? yup.
43. Are you in college? no.
44. Are you even in school? yup.
45. Do you have a job? sadly.
46. If you do, what is it? i work for my parents.. pickups & deliveries & helping them make teeth. yes. they make teeth.
47. What is your favorite room? chase's room
48. What is your favorite site? um.. whatever works for the time
49. What do you like best: shoes or bare feet? usually bare feet, thanks
50. Sneakers, sandals, or slippers? depends on where i am & what i'm doing
51. Silver or gold? gold. i think.
52. What is your favorite stone? Diamond i think.. i don't know.
53. What month were you born in? June
54. Jewelry or bling-bling? jewelry
55. Bracelets or watches? bracelets
56. Do you have any piercings? used to; kind of
57. If so, where? ears
58. Why did you visit our site? i stole this from a journal, i didn't go to a site.
59. What do you think of it? i wouldn't know
60. Why did you take this quiz thingy? boredomosity & to get shit off of my mind. thanks for reminding me.
61. Do you want to know more about yourself? sometimes
62. Are you bored? like you'd not believe
63. Are you trying to avoid doing something right now? yes.. thinking. & hw. maybe i'll do it
64. What would you be doing right now if you didn't take this quiz? hw & watching tv.
65. What's your favorite T.V. show? friends, charmed, real world & road rules & battle of the sexes & laguna beach because it makes me laugh.. & the family guy & stuff like that.. & Dr. 90210 & stuff of VH1 & CMT 'cause it's hawt.
66. What's your favorite movie? too many to pick from
67. Diamonds or pearls? diamonds
68. Dark or light? dark
69. Day or night? night, for sure
70. Sleep or awake? depends on where i am & who i'm with
71. Floor or ceiling? floor i s'pose
72. ~ or *? *
73. No or yes? maybe.
74. Happy, sad, or mad? Happy.. wtf?
75. Rhyming or not? rhymage
76. Book or TV? both
77. What is your favorite meal? nothing.
78. What is your favorite kind of food? i don't know.. whatever sounds best at the time.
79. Desert first, in the middle, or last? only.
80. What are the primary colors? i can't remember
81. Am I on your favorite number? nope
82. Bold or underlined? Bold
83. Pen or pencil? pencil
84. Notebook or printer paper? n-book
85. Binder or composition book? binder
86. Copy or fax? copy?
87. Ragazza or Bella? what?
89. Dollars or cents? whichever there are more of.. total.
90. Are you most like Brennen or Megan? i don't know who they are.
91. 123 or 321? 123
92. Stars or stripes? for like a print? stripes. for the sky.. stars.
93. Black or white? Black
94. CD or MP3? CD
95. Do you read the newspaper? not unless i'm forced.
96. Online games or bought? bought.. this comp. is wayy too slow for online games
97. E-mail or postal mail? email
98. Phone or IM? either
99. Rubber band or paperclip? Rubber bands! haha..
100. Aren't you relieved that you're half done? very
101. Aren't you proud of me for making all these questions to give both you and me something to do? somewhat..
102. Do you like potatoes? yeah
103. Hoop earrings or dangles? i don't wear them usually.. but dangles i guess.
104. Flowers or trees? flowering trees?
105. Tent or on the grass? tent
106. Hot or cold? haha.. where am i?
107. Circle or square? circle
108. Carrots or celery? celery.. with PB
109. Eyes or lips? both
110. Feet or hands? hands ;)
111. XBox or Playstation? i've never played.. i'm a loser, i know
112. Public or private schools? NEITHER. bitches.
113. Gifted, average, or *ehm* special? me? stupid.
114. Did you notice there was no #46? no sir.
115. Did you just scroll back to look? no sir.
116. Did you just feel stupid cause I'm kidding? no.
117. How many times have you gone to the bathroom today? 2
118. How many times have you felt odd while taking this quiz? 0
119. How many times have you thought of how bored I must be to make all these questions? 119.
120. Real World or Road Rules? Real World
121. Coke or Pepsi? Coke.. by far.
122. Did you know that Sprite is made by the Coca-Cola Company? yes
123. Did you know that Disani is made by the Coca-Cola Company? yeah.. & it's dasani..
124. Did you know that I know a lot about the Coca-Cola Company? it's sad, but true.
125. Did you know I can't spell? mmhm.
126. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, or 0? 5 or 7
127. Pool or Ocean? either
128. Pacific or Atlantic? either
129. Republican, Democratic, or Independent? leave me out of it.
130. DVD or VHS? doesn't matter
131. Cassette or CD? CD
132. { or [ ? [
133. Honesty or Humor? humerous honesty
134. Air, fire, water, or earth? fire, bitch.
135. Do you have braces? long gone
136. Do you have a jaw expander? no.
137. Do you have a retainer? yup
138. Do you have a face mask or head gear? no.
139. Do you have any orthodontic accessory in your mouth? yes. retainer.
140. Pink or purple? either
141. Smores or not? S'mores*
142. Marshmellos on fire or litely cooked? Lightly cooked.. browning
143. Fence or wire? Fence
144. Dogs or cats? dogs
145. Makeup or not? Makeup
146. Crayons or colored pecils? Crayons are the shit. but colored pencils are handier. is that a word?
147. Sharpies or magic markers? either or.
148. Comforters or quilts? comforters.. feather ones. like chase's
149. Left or right? right
150. Wrong or right? right
151. ?s or .s ? .'s
152. What is your favorite kind of movie? depends on what i'm in the mood for.
153. What is your favorite movie? this was way back there.
154. What's your favorite book? no idea
155. What do you like the most? hahaha..
156. What do you hate the most? mean stupid people.. lieing & drama.
157. Who do you hate the most? certain people.
158. Do you like to laugh? love it
159. Do you laugh much? if at all possible
160. Do you laugh so much that your friends get scared that you are dying or something? sometimes.. i squeak. i forget to or can't breathe
161. Do you like to dance? haha yeah.. i'm not saying i can.. but i like to.
162. Do you know how to break dance? notta clue.
163. Do you think I am running out of questions? i would hope so.
164. What was there once upon a time? sanity.
165. When is your birthday? June 14th
166. What is your favorite year? the last one i've spent being with chase.
167. What do you want to be when you grow up? elementary school teacher. i'm lame, i know.
168. What did you want to be when you grow up when you were really little? an elementary school teacher
169. Poor and happy or rich and depressed? neither.
170. What last name do you really want? haha.. no comment.
171. What is your favorite name? my boy's.. 'cause it makes me smile
172. What do you wish your full name was? leave me alone
173. What is your favorite car company? uh.. i'm not qualified to have an opinion on that
174. What is your favorite car? that one kind.. probably what chase's malibu will be. (('80, 2 door))
175. Do you have a car? kiss the ass i don't have.
176. Do you have your own phone? cell telle
177. What is your favorite sport? racing
178. Who is your favorite sports star? no idea
179. What is your favorite team?--
180. What kind or calendar do you like best: desk or hanging? hanging
181. What is your favorite song? no idea
182. Who is your favorite band/singer? don't know
183. Which would you rather join: a cheerleading squad or a sorority? sorority if i must.
184. Hats or scarves? scarves
185. Santa or the Easter Bunny? santa
186. What is your favorite holiday? no clue
187. Too small or too big? what are we talkin' about?
188. Hair up or hair down? down
189. Ragazza Bella or bust? hibbity what?
190. Why did you come to our site? again, i didn't.
191. What do you think about it? whhyy is there repetition in this bitch?
192. Huge space with tons of people or small space with only you? do i know the tons of people? i don't know.
193. If you’re happy and you know it, do you clap your hands? -no clapping-
194. Have you ever read Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings? yes.. HP ((all, multiple times 'cause i'm a loser.. & LOTR i started but couldn't finish 'cause i got bored))
195. If you have, how many of the books? already explained that
196. Red, orange, yellow, or grey? something else
197. Using scissors or just ripping stuff? scissors.
198. Caution or warning? caution
199. Are you happy now? still no
200. What did you think of this test? it was quite pointless.

i'm going now.. hw time or something. later.

xoxo; kayla

ps.. would everyone just freaking chill out so i could follow suit? DAMN.

o h m y g o d i 'm b o r e d !

b o r e d o m o s i t y s t i l l .


i likes.. ((all of the below are edited to fit))

I have never been so much
in love before.
what a difference a true love made in my life
so nice, so right.
lovin' you gave me something new that i've never felt,
never dreamed of.
somethings changed,
though it's not the feeling i had before.
oh, it's much, much more.
-love-
i never knew that a touch could mean so much
what a difference,
and when we walk hand in hand,
i feel so real.
lovers come & then lovers go;
that's what folks say.
they don't know.
they're not there when you love me,
hold me, & say you care.
& what we have is so much more
than they could ever see.

&

I've been through ups & downs
I haven't known which way to turn
& when I wander through this town
I only think of you

Only you, can take my bad heart and make it good
Only you, can take my crooked path and make it new

&

If the Rocky Mountains are just some hills,
Niagra Falls is just some water spills,
& if Humphrey Bogart was just some tough,
Then oooh baby, this is just some love.
Oooh baby, this is just some love.

But if the Grand Canyon is just some ditch,
Dorothy & Toto fought just some witch,
& if Babe Ruth was just a guy with a glove,
Then oooh baby, this is just some love.
Oooh baby, this is just some love.

&

The first time you touched me I felt,
What I'd never felt with anyone else.

I wanna give back what you've given to me,
& I wanna witness all of your dreams.
Now that you've shown me who I really am,
I wanna be more than just your woman.

I wanna be the wind that fills your sails..
Be the moon that moves your tides,
The sun comin' up in your eyes,
Be the wheel that never rusts,
Be the spark that lights you up.
All that you've been dreamin' of & more,
So much more.
I wanna be your everything.

When you wake up, I'll be the first thing you see.
& when it gets dark, you can reach out to me.
I'll cherish your words & I'll finish your thoughts.
I'll be your compass baby, when you get lost.

&

Everyday I live,
Try my best to give,
All I have to you.
Thank the stars above, that we share this love;
me & you.

Everyday, I need you even more,
& the night time too.
Theres no way I could ever let you go, even if I wanted to.

Ordinary, no.
Really don't think so..
Just a precious few
ever make it last
that get as lucky as
me & you.

&

He's got it all, my heart, my soul, my wishes,
All of my love, my hugs, my kisses,
Every thing that means anything at all.

All of my life I spent hoping,
I could give someone such devotion,
Every sweet memory I can recall,
He's got it all..

All of my heart, my soul my wishes,
All of my love, my hugs, my kisses,
Every sweet memory I can recall,
He's got it all.

&

Sometimes when I'm down & alone,
I feel just like a child without a home.
The love you give me keeps me hangin' on, honey..
All I ever need is you.

You're my first love, you're my last.
You're my future, you're my past.
Ohhh loving you is all I ask, honey..
All I ever need is you.

Winters come & then they go,
& we watch the melting snow.
Soon summer follows spring..
All the things you do,
Give me a reason to build my world around you.

Some girls follow rainbows I am told.
Some girls search for silver, some for gold.
But I found my treasures in my soul,
& all I ever need is you.

Without love I'd never find the way,
Through ups & downs of every single day.
& I won't sleep at night until you say,
Honey, all I ever need is you.

&

Have I told you lately that I love you?
Have I told you there’s no one else above you?
Fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness..
Ease my troubles, that’s what you do.

You fill my life with laughter, somehow make it better..

Here’s a love so divine,
& it’s yours & it’s mine.

xoxo; kayla

r a n d o m o s i t y b r o u g h t o n b y b o r e d o m o s i t y

'ello!! ((said in a childish brittish accent, terrifyingly enough much like the teletubbies.)) yes, i'm bored.. & i feel like changing my profile since i haven't for like 3 months.. so i just wanted to have my old one in here in case i change my mind & want it back. so.. here 'tis:

take me a w a y

-always-

Baby I'm yours.
Anything you ever need
You know I'll be right here
I'm so much in love
Every time your lips meet mine
It still feels like the first time
& if you lost everything
I'd keep on standing by your side
Boy it seems like everyday
I fall deeper in love
'Cause I can't get enough

You brighten up the moon & stars at night
You surpass all my fantasies
Everything you do is so amazing
You're my everything
& without you, all is nothing
Baby I'm yours.

i love you chase; i don't know what i'd do without you.

------------------------------------------------------------

lovely, i know. not quite sure what my new one will be.

but yeah.. today wasn't too eventful, it wasn't bad. i got swept this morning, then went through the daily hell most people refer to as school, then came home & ate & then went on the one delivery of the day to family dental ((which i later found out is the place that chase goes to for his braces & stuff)) & then hung out with alison.. we went & got my hair chopped off ((hardly noticeable, but i feel better)) & then to the bank, mcd's, & the gas station for coke iceys.. where these two dudes were totally checking us ((mostly her)) out & it was icky. & then we went to her house & ate & stuff, & then we went to my house 'cause after i got my hair cut my hair went all wacky & curly & so i had to fix it.. & then we wanted to find something to do, so after talking to chase to find out that he was just going to go to sleep, we called around & everyone was busy & whatnot, so we went to 'birth' -which was funny 'cause we got our tickets online so the dude in front of the theaters themselves had to run them through & print of tickets.. & then he was all talkative to us & we were walking away & he practically ran after us to open the door.. when alison was riiigght in front of it. it was quite comical, i must say. haha yes- but then alison didn't feel good so we had to leave.. she didn't like it either.. too slow for her. but i thought it would've been good. but ben, mcdonald, jeff, & spencer were out on the benches waiting for a ride, so we ended up waiting 'til their ride got there & took ben & spencer for a drive around for a little bit & then took them to ben's. t'was special. then we drove around, went past chase's & i called ((didn't mean to.. wink wink)) 'cause i saw his light was on & just had to check it out.. & then he called back & we argued about him not having any friends- which he does, regardless what he thinks. he should think back to when they all hung out & they were good friends.. yes.. he didn't work the remainder of his days away.. he was being the teen that he is & having a social life.. but then he got 2 jobs & now he's got school & a job & he has to work like 6 hours a day.. it's insane. he'd have a social life if he was willing to take the time for it. he knows it too.. he'd just never admit it. 'cause i'm never right ;) & yeah.. then we drove around some more.. & then alison really didn't feel good so she decided to go home instead of stay the night & so there she is & i'm here. i was going to pull an all-nighter.. but not alone & now i am.. so i doubt it. i'll stay up 'til 4 & call chase to wake him up.. but i won't go to mcd's at 5 if i'm alone.. i'm sorry.

so that was my day. i start real work on monday. it sucks ass.. & i won't get paid ((i'm sure)) until i'm going out alone & stuff. ooh yeah, when we were out doing deliveries, my dad went to the bank too.. i've got 1,699.67 in my account.. i thought i had 1,800.. but nevermind i guess.

i think that's all though.. i'm sure if i'm pulling an all nighter i'll be up & updating again later. soo.. more then. haha bye bye

xoxo; kayla

Ü h e l l o .


i'm thankful for my friends. i love my chicks.

& i'm thankful for my boy.. let us all pray that he can teach me to not be so mad.

& regardless of the vibes i've been giving off lately.. i love my family.

& i do indeed hate school. as well as satan. as well as food & myself a lot of the time. i'm seriously considering getting a nutritionist, as well as joining a gym. i think it'd be good for me. too bad i don't have that kinda' time.

i start work tomorrow. terrified. sad. depressed kind of. dreading. ..lookee:
HiPpO HuN o7 (10:18:56 PM): kayla starts work tomorrow.
>>alison (10:19:03 PM): oh boo
>>alison (10:19:06 PM): when?
HiPpO HuN o7 (10:19:19 PM): 3.30 prolly to like 6.30
>>alison (10:19:40 PM): i'm sorry
HiPpO HuN o7 (10:19:52 PM): me too
HiPpO HuN o7 (10:19:54 PM): every fucking day
>>alison (10:20:50 PM): boo
HiPpO HuN o7 (10:21:00 PM): yeeah
HiPpO HuN o7 (10:21:18 PM): i wonder if i have to go alone
>>alison (10:21:28 PM): haha pick me pick me!!!
HiPpO HuN o7 (10:21:35 PM): like i mean once i'm out & not with a parent, i wonder if i can bring people?
HiPpO HuN o7 (10:21:36 PM): hahaha
HiPpO HuN o7 (10:22:01 PM): yes, it's understandable why everyone would be so eager to run around town with me & a vehicle full of teeth.
>>alison (10:22:13 PM): hellz yeah
yes.. she's insane.

i FINALLY got to hang out with chase today. he came here & we both did some of our tarea & then we went to his house.. & then he warmed the car up for me, but then he realized that the left light wasn't working so we ended up taking the truck.. such a sweetie. & then i came home & ate the rest of my dinner of mashed potatoes & gravy & stuff & then i got on here & did hw that is due monday so i don't have to do it over the wknd.. & that's about it.

yeah, chase called at like 1.20 this morning & was like 'i thought i told you not to get me carpet?' & i was almost half asleep so i was like 'well.. i did.. don't worry, christmas is close, i'll get you something sexier for that. then. yes.' & he goes 'what are you talking about?' & i go 'it's carpet.. i could've done better than that.' & he goes 'i wanted carpet, i just didn't want you to spend money.' & i go 'i can spend my money how i like.. i'll get something better for christmas though.' & he goes 'kayla, i wanted carpet. i just didn't want you to spend so much.' & i was like 'well i did.. be happy.' & he was like 'i am.' & that was about that.. it was quite humerous.

why do i have such a short fucking temper? i have zero paitence with my mom. chase & i discussed this as well, but it's appearently done me no good. or next to none.. whatever. but yeah, she's talking so i'm leaving. toodles.

xoxo; kayla

ps- thank god & whoever else is responsible for the weekend.

s h a b o o b a m !


yes.. bored. made up another PC1 test thing today, that sucked. nothing was in the notes i was given that was on that test. aside from like 2 questions. crazy fools. after that i came home & talked to chase three times ((once while on my way home - i actually walked my lazy ass - & then when he was on his way to work he called again.. then later he called on his break -which he has done all week & i'm enjoying)) & then i ate.. & then i was bored.. & then alison & i went to shopko & got bows & ribbon & curly ribbon & a card thing for chase's carpet, which came a day or so ago.. & then we deccorated that in the parking lot & then i called chase's dad to make sure i wouldn't be interrupting him or anything or freak him out when i was prancing around on his porch.. so i warned him i would be leaving the unexpected carpet out there & not to get freaked if he heard me rummaging about. so we did that, i came home, talked with my parents & stuff, then talked to karlie & then talked to nicole, went & got nicole & went to mcd's & then came home. joy for my day. then i made this cool new layout thing & that took me about 45 min 'cause i'm boring. yes. then i replied to karlie's journal shin-dig & that was grand. i feel a little bit better.

& i was going to hang out with clarkey-poo today.. 'cause i texted him to complain about the sticky rice that scottie had put in my back pocket & he told me to call him after school & so i did but he had to work.. & later couldn't go to mcd's. so that was way cool. kinda. & i'm bored & it's about 11.15.. i'm going to go take a shower & stuff.. & read before chase calls. at 1. possibly later. hopefully he's not mad about the carpet.. i never even told him that we ((my dad)) had ordered it.. soo yeah.. surprise, surprise!

well my mom & i are fighting again.. second night in a row for a wrestling fest. hahaha the war of the wedgies. only i can give those. i swear.. this is grand. g'night

xoxo; kayla

h i i . i t 's l i k e a n u p d a t i n g f r e n z y !

my mom just sneezed like 10 times in a row. i shit you not.

i just did a whole fucking like 200 question survey.. & it doesn't fit in the format on my journal. that pissed me off. wow. whatta waste of time.

sorry.. i got bored. just talked to chase.. he just spent the past like 2.5 hours working on his car.. what a nut. appearently he got a lot done though, he doesn't have too much left to do, then he's going to get everything worked out with the engine/money/fiero deal.. so that's good. i'm glad. i love him lots & lots & lots.. x infinity. & more. going now! g'night

xoxo; kayla