w o o h o o ! v i c t o r y !

i thought of a name for the littlest prettiest fish!! & i knew it all along. Bell. it means "white; beautiful." yes. perfect. 'cause she's white & small & delicate & beautiful. yay! makes me happy.

well..

happy halloween!

xoxo; kayla

i l l c r y y o u r t e a r s f o r y o u . . y o u m a k e m y s m i l e s f o r m e


i suppose i have to update eventually.. might as well be now.

life's crawling by.. everyone's all like 'oh this school year is going sooo fast!' 'cause the first quarter ended on friday, but seriously.. for me.. that felt like an entire year. everyday i'm just like 'i'll get up.. but only because that means i'm one day closer to summer.' honestly, i practically count down already. like 136 days to go. i count each day in my planner.. i've been 'sick' lately.. i'm making it seem worse than it is so i can get out of school. i can't believe i've already missed like a week. i'll end up on probation if i do that.. school-wise.. not with like the law or anything. because that's like 28 days out by the end of the year.. i can't do that, they won't allow it.. they like won't pass me or something. but i need to take summer school anyways to get speech out of the way.. so really, i might not be in such a rut or anything. i just fucking hate it. i hate whs.. i honestly wonder sometimes if lhs would be better for me. because i hardly get to see my friends.. & the ones i do get to see it's only for a few min & it's almost that much more depressing because i know that i could be so much happier if i wasn't surrounded by this stupid mass of socialistic hypocritical gossiping shitbucket people. i'm lucky to have found the few "sane" ((whatever that means)), smart, decent ((& better)) cool, fun, real people there, but damnit.. i can't stand to be around the rest of them. i dunno, maybe i'm not being open-minded enough.. but what i do know & what i've seen & heard on my own tell me that i need outta there.. the only good in that school was dropped in there like i was, & i don't want to be contaminated by the rest of the bullshit floating around.. & i don't want to see any of my friends sucked into the social whirlwind & taken away & turned into someone they were never meant to be. i think the drama & gossip scene is old. my group has got it's shit to deal with & a lot of it's juvenile & pointless & the old me, the gossip queen who had to know it all & stick her nose into it, has that first instinct to jump into it & get all the details.. but me, now, i don't want that. i don't care. certain friends of mine do things that i don't approve of. some of them say things or talk about things that i don't care to hear or agree with or see the need to repeat or discuss to begin with.. but i go along with it. i don't know why i do, because it's rather hypocritical, but i do. i suppose it's the one thing that will never change about me. i want to know what's going on, yeah.. but don't expect me to keep it going on or continue spreading the word that it's happened/happening. that's not my deal anymore & i don't wish it to be. i love my friends. i just wish sometimes that we were past it.. but from hollywood to highschool.. i'll forever be in the circuit, along with the rest of the world. so i surrender- let it be hypocritical that i'm involved in gossip. anyone who says they're not is full of it.

as for home.. nobody knows. i want to keep it that way; i'm sorry.

as for chase.. the 29th was our 5 month & the 10th of november shall be 1 year. the comfort, the love. i don't know where i'd be without him. we went to a play a few nights back -Oedipus Rex-.. it was funny, me & him & his dad went, they were like falling asleep & i was all into it.. i actually understood it, i was quite proud. i believe it was by Sophocles.. i remembered hearing about it in english last year, it was cool. i like plays now. joy for me. maybe i'll read one. that sounds like fun, actually.. hm.. him & his dad got the garage/shop almost entirely finished, it rocks. they've got like 4 bikes in there ((1 of the yamahas -which i believe is all they have..- is leaking oil, it's sad)) & the malibu ((not the $20 one- that one's still in the yard)) plus all of the tools & whatnot, it's sooo nice.. they've even got this magnet shindig set up for the tools, it's hawt. & all the helmets & stuff are up on the walls & the posters/signs are up, it's sexy as hell (("Bitchin'" in craig's words)) & i love it. i saw it today when i went there with anna ((she spent the night lastnight.. came over 'round 1.. i really needed her.. we ended up playing 'life' & 'monopoly' -i didn't even dislocate my shoulder!!- around 3.. then went to bed 'round 5/6.. yep indeed)) so yeah.. i got up & put hardly any makeup on & put my hair down in a low pony tail & then changed & went & got anna up & then we left & after we got starbucks we went to my aunt's to get a pump for chase & his dad to use to drain the pond to get the fish to put in the tank that we went out ((me, chase, craig, & bill)) & got from wal-mart ((after going to pet-co)) the night before.. & then to chase's to drop that off.. it was funny, when we got there craig was like 'you don't look like kayla.' i was like 'i'm sorry.. i am, i promise.' & he goes 'but you don't look like you!' & i go 'well.. is it the hair? or the close to no makeup?' & he was like 'no.. well, maybe.. i think it's the white.' 'cause i was wearing white.. but that's odd 'cause i have a white Tshirt, but oh well.. i just thought it was funny. haha yeah, we meant to be there for like 20 min, but we ended up staying for like 3 hours.. 1.5 at least of which we were spent outside, where anna & i were still in our pj's pretty much.. she was in a t shirt & thin sweatpants & i was in my tank top & a thin zip-up & we were both wearing thong sandals ((& undies actually..)) & so we were frozen.. so then we mooched coats, anna got the hunting one & i got the leather one .. that didn't get warm. haha half the time we were outside craig kept randomly giving me shit for not eating.. 'cause i was talking to anna about the last time i had ((about 13 hours previous, & it hadn't been much)) & chase said i was bragging, which i hadn't been.. but yeah, it was funny.. he was like 'yeah kayla, it's surprising you could help as much as you did, for not eating more than once every 3 weeks & all..' & i was like 'hey now.. i eat more than that!' & he goes 'okay.. 2 & a half weeks..' he just kept going.. chase just laughed.. it was special. lol & then we got inside & put socks on haha.. then thawed out & checked out & admired the fish that rock & are soo sexy.. the tank is like a 55-gallon one & there are 2 kinda black lights & 22 fish.. it's hawt. there's 6 little ones & the rest are like huge.. the little ones are from the smaller tank, but chase is going to get different fish in there.. i think he wants to get fighting fish & see which one dies.. which i think is mean, but that's because i hate them. they're betta fish.. & i used to have fish & snails & a newt, but then the betta ate them.. all i found was the shells of the snails & the tail of the newt.. & i think the bodies of the other fish were all.. half-eaten. it was quite traumatizing indeed. but yeah.. i told him to get kissing fish.. just a wee bit opposite of what he wanted, but it's cool. i think it'd be awesome.. they like, actually kiss. that rocks. & if he doesn't get those in the other tank, then he wants to get ones that will have babies.. he wants baby fish. i love this boy, the way he's taking care of these fish is insane, he's so into it.. so is his dad. i love it. i love them for it. chase a bit more, but you can see that it's all coming from his dad & it's great. yeah, i'm just having a lot of fun with the fish thing, i think it's cool as hell. i'm having fun, what of it? haha.. yeah, things were a bit rocky for a week or two a while back, i kinda felt like i was more of a situation to make the best of than a girlfriend he loved.. but then i realized that i was the only one who saw it that way & so i changed myself & things are better. he could tell i was different.. but i'm back. i'm good.. i was going to change because of shit around here, but i've realized that i can't let it. he put his arm around me lastnight.. we were in the truck & he first just had his arm on my leg like he always does.. but then he was messing with the window behind me & he looked at me & i looked at him & was cool & gave him a look like 'i love you, put your arm around me' & he did. oh that gave me goosebumps. Ü yes. after that, i knew i'd be okay. & this is reinstating it. yeep.. i love him & i love being in love. i still want a hickey. i should tell him that. i wanted so badly to spend the night at his house tonight.. i would have, but my dad came back into town. oh well.. at least i got to go home at 12 instead of 11.. that was nice. before my dad came chase & i were sitting in the comp. chair & looking at the fish, talking about them.. i was on his lap & his arms were around me & we were just talking.. i about kissed him, just for that. goosebumps & a chill again. smiles. Ü haha, we were talking about the white fish.. it's the smallest one & the cutest little thing, i felt bad for it because all of the bigger ones like chase it & go after it.. it's going to be a her, & i think i shall name her.. i'll let you know when i think of the name.. but yeah, we were talking about her when all of the sudden some of the bigger ones went after her again & chase goes 'survival of the fittest' i was like 'oh no! that's so mean!' & chase was all comforting & like 'don't worry.. it'll get bigger' i was thinking 'yeeaah, i love you.' t'was grand.

i just gained an hour.. it went from 2 to 1 in the morning. yeeahh baby.

still hating food.. i think i'm 105 now. that seems like so much. i want to talk to chase about it, but i think he'd just consider me to be dramatic then. i don't know. but i should anyways. if he doesn't like it he'll let me know right away. & i'll keep going haha. yeah, we had a discussion tonight about how my boobs are bigger. they are. it makes me smile inside. i'm glad the guy finally noticed, they've been bigger for like 2 weeks. lol.. the only downside is everything else seems to be getting bigger too.. icckkk.. i need to join a gym. i'll have to talk to alison about that.

i need a haircut. & i need to go SHoOoPPiiNgGg badly. yes. i need undies, socks, jeans, t shirts, zip ups, hoodies, & i dunno what else.
i need a new telle. in freaking march my 2 year shindig will be up. that'll be nice. hopefully i can get a good phone.. 'cause this one is oollddd. & boring, not to mention battered.

god this is getting long. & there's so much more. damnit lol.

i have to work for my parents. the one job i never wanted & can't get around anymore. working in the lab while i'm on call, doing pickups & deliveries. about $7 an hour, i'll finally be able to get my own car. i think i'm excited about the car thing.. but i'm also quite sad because it's working in the lab. a few people don't understand why this sucks so much. that makes me sad because it should be known by now. ((the main reasons are not because it involves lots of driving & parking by expensive cars owned by my parents' employers.)) i really wish i was going to be doing something i wanted to do. you'd think that'd be important for your first job.. it should be something you want.. for yourself. oh well. apple tree sounds so much better now. daaaaaamnit. i give up.

also.. i was thinking about writing a book. i could be good at such a thing.. my parents think so anyways. starting with like a year back to now.. yeah.. that could be a winner.

oh yes.. almost forgot.. i hung out with john the other day. john kutz.. member that fool? yeah, he tried to help us ((ryan & me & my dad)) find tomar highlands.. i figured he'd know. but he didn't. we drove around for a bit but he couldn't find it. oh well.. it was just weird. he's odd. what was i thinking? crazy kids.

but yeah.. it's getting late though.. so other things must wait. ta ta ladies & gents, g'night.

xoxo; kayla

i l o v e c h a s e s o o o m u c h !



golly life can be dramatic.


i don't feel like updating yet.. so when i do:
*anna's golden
*life as i know it
*chase & his vehicle situation & the addition to their garage shin-dig
*foodness & how i want to go on a diet.. again.. consider how that ended up last time.. :/
*i need a new cell phone
*my dad was gone all wknd
*i love our truck & don't like the van & need a vehicle, as well as a job
*school sucks ass

yes.. well.. that's all from this boring life of mine for the moment.. ttyl, bye bye

xoxo; kayla

ps- whs sophs played lhs sophs @ hwf today.. & whs won. keep in mind that whs was 1-6 & lhs was 6-1.. wow. already jarod's called & cody called to brag.. & when jarod was on the telle he was all being nice, but joking around.. kind of being a cock like he is.. & chase heard jarod say bitch, but it wasn't directed to chase, it was just to the world & anyone who ever doubted him, but chase got all defensive & then jarod started really being a cock.. it was not nice

that is really all, i swear. g'night

n o t t a c l u e .

i was chase's stalker today. i called like freakin 5 times in about 4 hours. yeeah baby! i was just doing as he asked & then trying to warn him 'cause i was coming over. too bad if he doesn't/didn't like it damnit. but if not.. i won't do it again.

back to this stuff.. want to get it settled..
>>alison (10:53:09 PM): i need to meet somebody who satisfys me.. i really do.. it's getting old of having what i'm annoyed by and stuff..
HiPpO HuN o7 (10:53:21 PM): yeah
>>alison (10:53:33 PM): if it's meant to be it'll happen i guess
HiPpO HuN o7 (10:54:00 PM): & karlie needs to find someone to get her over the other losers she's been stuck on.. & they're only losers 'cause of nothing happening. i think. aside from george.. he's a loser all around if you're asking me. so true.
>>alison (10:54:48 PM): i know, she needs to get with somebody that'll make our mouths drop
HiPpO HuN o7 (10:55:05 PM): haha well yours
HiPpO HuN o7 (10:55:10 PM): mine doesn't need to
HiPpO HuN o7 (10:55:20 PM): if she's happy, i really don't care
>>alison (10:55:31 PM): yeah true
HiPpO HuN o7 (10:56:52 PM): today she said that she wanted someone to have a relationship like chase's & mine.. but that doesn't make sense to me 'cause you guys ((a lot of the time)) resent me for it, or at least it feels that way, you resent the relationship & maybe the fact that you're not in one like it.. & i told her that.. & we were all into it & all of the sudden she's off talkin' about jeremy.. i don't get it.. it's all important to me but it's like, yet again, i've drifted off so nobody cares anymore? is that wrong?
>>alison (11:04:25 PM): i'm speaking for myself but, anybody would love to have a relationship like yours & chases, and of course i'm always happy for you that you've got him although it may not always seem like it, but that's just because i'm on the otherside dealing with dumbasses like josh ryan [gag] ect, and being single and it sucks and i know that's not any excuse, but then again i read your journal and i always thought it was friends before guys like ben said, and of course it doesn't always need to be like that but some of the time it is
HiPpO HuN o7 (11:11:14 PM): well yeah.. but that said.. chase is one of my best friends. being one sex or the other has never made a difference to me because most of my best friends have been guy friends.. so it was one in the same.. & since everyone knows that, i just don't understand why it's being taken as him over you.. it's not like that.. it's just like i've said before, in the journal or otherwise, that he's always around. he knows what's going on & he's a part of everything. & to have to go back & explain all the time about the drama in my life.. i might as well throw myself into the drama i've tried so hard for so long now to avoid & kiss my sanity goodbye. 'cause that would totally make me lose it. so mostly when i'd choose to be with him instead of hang out in a group it's just when i'm stressed and i don't think i can handle anymore bullshit. regardless, the boy works too much for me to spend much time with him & lately i've been in some fucked up pain that shouldn't be there & i'm really tired because of it & it's just old.. i just want to rest. so lately that's my excuse for being a hobit & hiding in the corner. & otherwise, most of the time when chase & i are together, i can just relax. there isn't a part of me he doesn't know about & that's comforting to me considering he still loves me for it. there are things that the rest of the world doesn't know & never will. i'm not saying they could find out & they'd ditch & hate me, i'm just saying i don't want to share because it would spread out the pain & drama & i don't see the need for that anymore.. i'm trying to let it go.. & i just need what he has for me & it can't be given from a chick friend, regardless of how close we are. you know what i'm saying?
>>alison (11:18:59 PM): yeah i know what you're saying, but i don't know..
HiPpO HuN o7 (11:19:09 PM): about..?
>>alison (11:22:22 PM): i don't know man, i love you and i know you love chase
HiPpO HuN o7 (11:22:31 PM): & i love you
HiPpO HuN o7 (11:22:34 PM): i don't know either
HiPpO HuN o7 (11:22:38 PM): i just wish shit wasn't messed up
HiPpO HuN o7 (11:22:42 PM): & i do love him
HiPpO HuN o7 (11:24:15 PM): ah, i don't know what to do. i'm just gunna go take a shower & that way i can look in the mirror & be even more depressive
HiPpO HuN o7 (11:24:16 PM): yaaaaay

that's that. i love chase. more later, bye bye

xoxo; kayla

i ' m i n c l a s s . . a n d i w a n t o u t . t h e n i w a n t c h a s e .


what are you wearing? tennies, socks, jeans, thong, tanktop, bra, hoodie.
what would you rather be wearing? depends on where i am..
what are you listening to? people's convos & a candy game next to me..
what is the taste in your mouth? orbit (gum)
what is your favorite band? too many to pick..
what would you rather doing? being with chase.. out cruisin with my chicks.. or eating or sleeping
where would you rather be? depends on who i'm with..
who do you want to see? chase..
who is your crush? let's think.. again, more than a crush.. chase.
what is on your mind? haha chase & getting outta here
what don't you want to think about? haha.. not gunna go there.. aw, now you got me thinkin' it.. Ü
what are you waiting for? haha.. certian things.. i mean.. um.. to be with chase & school to get out.
what do you have plans to do? be with chase & then see if my chicks wanna cruise or something.. i think
what do you plan on not doing? not seeing chase.
who don't you want to see? mis padres
who do you hate? my 'friend'.. or in alison's words.. 'satan'
what do you hate? not being with my boy or my friends.. confusion.. failure, school.
what do you love? my chicks & my boy.. the good times we have ((not always togther)) & a lot of other things.. my dog, my parents ((even if i don't like them.. can't help but love 'em)).. my bankie.. being at chase's
what is a secret you're keeping? if i told you it wouldnt be a secret now, would it?
» not the brightest crayon in the box, eh?


well.. i'm still bored! i've got a whole 3 min 'til this shit is done.

i guess i'm going to call chase at "3.19" ((when he's walking to his truck appearently)) & then i'll find out what he wants to do.. then he wants to call in to see if they want him to come in at 5 instead of 7 ((til close :( ..)) & that's about that. no other plans really.. boring boring life. i've actually got hw! well, time for me to go i s'pose. now the teacher's going to tell us a story! joyyyyy. what grade am i in? 10th.. no.. 1st..? yes.

xoxo; kayla

n o c ha s e t o d a y . : (


my mom just told me my typing is like alka-seltzer.. i don't know how to spell that. but it was a first.

convo:
HiPpO HuN o7 (10:13:24 PM): you know how i used to like be all into the drama & stuff?
>>studly (10:13:47 PM): yeaa
HiPpO HuN o7 (10:15:01 PM): yeah.. it's driven me away from all of my friends & now i'm thinking they don't like me 'cause i'm always with chase & i don't want to deal with that shit anymore.. they're against me for it
>>studly (10:16:55 PM): well i'm not sure about them, but i can tell you've faded away from everything 'cause of chase
HiPpO HuN o7 (10:17:15 PM): because he's the only person who makes me feel sane
HiPpO HuN o7 (10:17:28 PM): i'm the same with everything/one but my friends
HiPpO HuN o7 (10:17:51 PM): they're not who they used to be to me.. they're different
>>studly (10:17:59 PM): i wish i had an answer, but i don't know anymore
HiPpO HuN o7 (10:18:05 PM): & i know i am too.. but i feel like they resent me for my relationship & it sucks
>>studly (10:19:06 PM): well idk how things went with them, but i can tell this..if iw as a chick friend of yours..and i sometimes got pushed aside 'cause of a boyfriend..it'd bug me..friends are really suposta come before boyfriends..you know..i mean idk how it goes or went or anything..but i'm just saying you know
HiPpO HuN o7 (10:21:34 PM): yeah.. i get that, i just wish i had that balance back.. but i can't stand all of that drama anymore.. even when i remove myself from it, i'll come back for like 2 days & already be back into it.. & i hate it.. so i just stay away.. & they take that as me not wanting to be with them. then when i want to do anything they can't or don't want to or have plans that i know will involve a lotta bullshit.. it just sucks.. there's no way back into it without it turning into exactly what it used to be.. only now because i can't stand the drama it'd piss me off & i'd just lose it.. so i'm stuck.
>>studly (10:23:14 PM): well, theres no answer here and i'm sorry
HiPpO HuN o7 (10:23:41 PM): oh well
HiPpO HuN o7 (10:23:59 PM): i don't know how to help it & it's not like anyone's asked me to.

yeah.. i called karlie tonight to try to ask her about it.. because she's the one that makes me feel the worst when i'm with chase.. or when i don't go with them but i'll be with chase.. i hate that she doesn't trust me sometimes & i hate that my chicks resent my relationship with chase to the point where our relationships are being threatened. i don't know how to fix it & considering i don't take criticism well, it's going to be tough to figure this shit out. i feel like my friends don't know me anymore ((my fault, i'm sure)) & they don't want me to know them ((i know there's a lot that i miss that makes them who they are.. but i'm not there because it's all a result of some overly-dramatic event & i end up missing it. i'm stuck.)) i just wish they'd tell me what the hell they were thinking instead of everytime they make plans being like 'well, kayla's with chase so she won't want to..' or 'kayla won't want to 'cause of chase..' or anything else that has to do with him.. if you've got a thought that relates to me or my part in any plan.. shouldn't i hear it too? seems reasonable to me.

i don't know.. i just wish i had that balance back. i miss my girls, but i don't know how to get them back without the drama.. and some of the friends of my girls aren't who i want to be hanging out with sometimes.. & that never helps. & then jamie, well she makes me feel like shit 'cause she's hott & a flirt & i just feel out of place. & anna, i think she hates me for being in love. & karlie & alison & liz, they're tired of me or something i think. & nicole.. nobody will ever know what's going on in that head of hers. all the other chicks i know.. well, we obviously didn't have much to lose 'cause these are the ones that are coming to mind right now. & gene & clark & tad & them.. well, they dissapeared.. it's like they were all buddy-buddy & then they died. clark was alive for a bit but since he got in trouble i've not heard much from him. austin & brent are cool dudes, but it seems short-term. i dunno.. i wish i knew what to do.

i also wish i could go back to not eating. 'cause that was one less prob i had to deal with. but i promised chase.. so unless he tells me straight up that i can go back to it.. i won't. even if he tells me ((again)) that he wouldn't know.. i can't do that. ahhhh.

i dunno, i'm going to go though. tired or something, back & neck kill. plus sleep might make the schoolday go faster.. g'night; bye bye

xoxo; kayla

ps- chase got a '79 malibu, a 4 door he might keep for parts & sell it off or drive for a winter car. haha or he said i could have it. he got it for $20. that makes me laugh. i love him. i'm supposed to call him at 3:19 tomorrow.. while he's walking to his truck i guess. mmhm. going though.. for real.. bye bye

h i i i i i i


i'm ugly. & i hate it. & i'm getting fat. i weighed like 104 today. GRRooossss. & i can't even not eat 'cause chase'd have to know & i promised him i'd eat & i really can't get permission 'cause he'll only tell me to do what i think is right & i know that's to keep my promise but i just really hate food. Fucking hell.

s o o o o o o o b o r e d !


hi..

nothin' too special happened today.. actually, i did wake up especially early lol ((10.15)) to go wake chase up.. that was fun. hung out there 'til like 5.. then came here 'til about 6.20 & he went to work.. then i became a bum.. then some people came over & i wasn't expecting it.. & then i went out for mcd's with karlie & alison to see my boy ((i swear, i'm going to go broke 'cause i'm there every freaking night)) lol.. then came home & here i am.

chase found a dude to buy his car!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! finally lol. i guess craig put an ad in the paper & some dude from like yankton or something is going to give him a grand for his car & he's a mechanic so he's going to hook chase up with this totally kick ass engine that's already got like 400 hp & with a few changes, very minimal, he's going to have it pushing like 430 or 450 or something ((s'pose i could have gone with 440, eh?)) but yeah.. he's totally going to have such a sexy beast of a car.. it should be done by like the end of his junior year.. go from a so-called 'pile' to a hot rod in a year? that's amazing. he so lucked out with this mechanic dude.. i think i like the malibu better, i gotta say- that smile on his face when he's talking about it.. he's so excited.. i'm sooo happy for him! i'm possibly not as enthusiastic as i should be.. but honestly, i just don't know how to act sometimes, i should by now, but i don't know what he'd think if i just jumped on him & stuff.. he'd think i was on crack. hahaha.. that makes me want to do it even more. but yeah, the dude is going to put the engine in & hook him up with some other stuff to make up for the rest of the cost of the fiero.. he explained it all, but i swear, i only got it for like the amount of time it took for him to explain.. 3 min later, i couldn't have repeated a word. his dad & him are taking care of the breaks ((his bday present from his dad)) & i got the carpet ((bday present)) & he's got the shifter picked out that he wants.. also very hott, i've never seen any like it, i think it's hawt. & he's got a few things done already, steeringwheel & whatnot, then he's going to get the suspension i think taken care of.. & then his mom's got a connection in huron to tint the windows, so hopefully he'll get a good deal on that.. & floormats.. & interior otherwise ((replace the backseats or whatever, the front are going to be bucket seats.. & then the rest of it..)) aluminum dash & all that goes with it.. good things like that. but yeah, then he'll prime it & be ready to go. he'll not have a car for like a week i guess.. maybe 2. he's going to wash his car tomorrow & then keep it tarped 'til saturday.. & then no more fiero! sad.. i'll miss it. i gotta say. good times in that car.. very good times. but yeah.. so i guess i'll be getting a lot of rides, or actually be the one to do the driving.. haha.. yeeahh.. i took his dad's spot today ((where the frisbee van goes)) mmhm.. i felt like a bitch, but i figured chase would have kicked me out by the time his dad got home.. that's okay though, i'm glad i was still there, haha.

yes.. so things are good & stuff.. i think i need to get a job. i'm going to ask karlie again tomorrow if she'll go pick up an app. from apple tree for me.. 'cause she loves me. i'd offer her gas money.. but i still owe my dad like $70.. i've only paid $40.. not cool! lol

so.. i'm boring so deal with it. & read this if you're as bored as me:
Who are you?
What is your full name?: Kayla ((Opposite of big))
Current age?: 16 & a few months
Current Location?: Little Town on the Prairie.
Current Grade?: Sophomore
Hair color?: brown like.
Eye Color?: brown.
Is your hair dyed?: never
Are you single?: Nope, thank god.
Are you straight, bi or a lesbian?: straight
How tall are you?: 5'4"
How much do you weigh?: 103 i think
What is your shoe size?: 7-8.. somewhere in there
What is your pant size?: anywhere from 0-3
What is your shirt size?: medium to small
What size is your bra?: 34b.. possibly bigger now?
What size is your underwear?: medium?
What is your ring size?: well i have 10 fingers.. it varies.
Do you wear turtle necks?: No
Do you wear skirts?: No
Do you wear cloggs?: i used to.. i don't think they fit anymore
Do you wear toe socks?: yeah
Are your ears pierced?: yeah, not that i put that to use..
Is your nose pierced?: Nope sir
Do you have anything else pierced on your body besides nose or ears?: No
If you answered yes to the above question, what is it?: ------
Do you drink?: no
Do you smoke cigarrettes?: no
Do you smoke pot?: no
Do you do drugs?: no
Have you ever held hands with someone?:Yep
Have you ever hugged someone?: Yep
Have you ever kissed someone?: Yep
Have you ever given someone a hickey?: nope.. sounds like fun though
Has anyone ever given you a hickey?: Yep.. i want another, too.
Have you ever made out with someone?: Yup!
Have you ever done: if i knew what you were asking..
Have you ever been in a fight (words only)?: for sure
Have you ever been in a fight (with physical fighting)?: not so much
Have you ever been badly burned?: yeah.. a few times.
Have you ever broken any bones, if so which ones?: No.. only a hairline fracture
Have you ever been in the hospital?: well, i was born.
Have you ever gotten detention?: Yes
Have you ever skipped a class? Or a whole day of school?: no
Have you ever been suspended?: No
Have you ever been expelled?: No
What's the lowest grade you've ever gotten on your report card?: F.. missing assignments, aside from that.. a C, gym, sexist bitch of a teacher. damn i wanted to kick her ass. that or get her fired. i was one fiesty 5th grader, let me tell you!
What's the highest grade you've ever gotten on your report card?: A.. like 125.04%
What is your GPA?: 3.8 i think
What were your SAT scores?: i'll letcha know once i take the test
Are you going to college?: with any luck, yes.
If yes, what college are you going to/ what college do you want to go to?: good Q
What would be your major?: Elementary Ed.
How many people are on your buddy list?: 200.. i talk to like 70.. max.
How many people are in your phonebook?: probably around 200.. i talk to probably about 50 lol.. that's pushing it.. majorly
What kind of music do you listen to?: almost all
How many downloaded Mp3s are currently on your computer?: um.. about that many.
Do you think music downloading should be illegal?: No
How bored are you?: beyond belief.
--survey complete--

man.. it's 11.40.. my back kills. as does my neck. i wish chase'd come over. that survey made me want a hickey. soo random.. lol going now though, bye bye

xoxo; kayla

i l o v e c h a s e !


i wish he wasn't working so much. not that i don't see him.. at least half an hour a day.. & then i'll go see him at work too.. i dunno. we haven't really been alone since his bday & it's only been for a few min.. & here.. so i don't know.. just seems different.. not in a good way.
but not like we're falling apart or getting distant.. i just miss being at his house.. & with him & stuff.. you know? whoever it is that i'm talking to.. yeah, he called tonight right when he got home to tell me to get online.. scared me for like a third of a second 'cause the last time he called to tell me to get on it wasn't good.. but after that third of a second i'd already realized that nothing was wrong & it's just my classic paranoia kicking in.. i'm safe & i know it. i love him. he just wanted to let me know he was gunna be on is all.. such a sweetheart.

along with sara thormodsguard's party down the street ((brent & austin went to it)) lol.. there was a game in brandon tonight; varsity. i dunno who won.. i didn't want to go. my back & neck hurt wayy too much.. chase thinks i'm antisocial or something.. 'cause i'm never with people.. which is odd.. considering it's been like this for the past almost year now. i love to be alone if i'm not with him. sometimes i just don't want to deal with the drama of a social situation.. i've got enough going on & the times when it's just simmer time i'm gunna milk it for all it's worth. so to anyone who thinks i'm an antisocial soon to be hobit.. sorry to dissapoint you; i just prefer to maintain my sanity.. or what's left of it.

i'm not tHaT antisocial anyways.. yesterday alison & i ran around & then we took karlie out to ihop & went to the notebook for her bday.. after i left school at the end of 3rd per. 'cause of my back & neck ((my bag & everything was just too much.. even the nurse scolded me)) my dad & i ran some errands & got food & then filled karlie's car with helium balloons after we called her mom to get the code to break in.. it was awesome. people were giving me crazy looks. i saw anna walking by & made her get in the car with me.. then when we saw karlie ((who wasn't easy to miss, considering she had her own vase of pink roses with balloons already from her sis)) we laid on the horn.. it rocked. yeeep sir! so i'm not that hobit-like. Ü

i definitely didn't go to school today either.. i did go to the chiropractor though. that wasn't too painful. but i'm back to just as bad.. so wasn't much of a point either. my dad made me go to the dude that he goes to 'cause he had an appt. with him this morning.. chase wanted me to go to vanhubert or something along those lines.. i'm sure i butchered that, but that's okay.. but yeah, ((i swear to any & everything that i'm not being conceited or full of myself or cocky or anything like that.. i'm just speaking my mind here..)) the dude i went to was kind of creepy. he was one of those who acted like he'd known me for years or something.. i'd never met the dude. he kept talking about how attractive i was.. like the second sentence was about how i was so good looking & stuff.. & i kept trying to change the subject but he'd always lead it back to me.. i even brought up cars & how i don't have one & he was like 'yeah well a pretty girl like you, you don't need one.. all you've got to do is stick your thumb out & there won't be one guy that's passing that doesn't stop.' stuff like that.. & when he was doing the whole chiropractic shin dig he used ultra-sound, not sure how it worked, just like concentrated waves i think.. & he all had to undo my bra & stuff 'cause i was wearing an open-backed gown thing.. i dunno, it's the norm, i'm sure, but just 'cause he kept commenting on my looks, i was paranoid. creepy people. other than that he was cool.

mmhm.. when chase got on i stole his profile.. again:
She thinks I walk on water
She thinks I hung the moon
She tells me every mornin'
They just don't make men like you
She thinks Ive got it together
She swears I'm as tough as nails
But I dont have the heart
to tell her
She don't know me that well
She dont know how much I need her
She dont know I'd fall apart
Without her kiss
Without her touch
Without her faithful lovin' arms
She dont know that its all about her
She don't know I cant live without her
Shes my world shes my everything
And she thinks she needs me
Sometimes she cries on my shoulder
When shes lyin next to me
But she don't know that when I hold her
That she's really holdin' me
Holdin me
And the funny thing is
She thinks she's the lucky oneI love you kayla, that's all that needs to be said













is it possible to not love this boy? i don't believe so.

my parents might leave me alone for the weekend again.. that would so rooocckkk!! karlie's party type thing is at her house tomorrow night & then chase's got to get up to go to work by 4 in the morning.. so i really would have the house to myself. my dad & i discussed it tonight.. the main reason he doesn't want me to stay alone is 'cause of chase.. so i assured him we weren't having sex. then my mom walks in the room & he's totally straight-faced & serious & he goes 'kayla wants to know if it's okay if she has sex with chase.' i started cracking up & just left the room. 'twas grand.

hmm.. nov. 10th will be a year. 12 months. minus about 3 that we were broken up. crazy, i love it. i'm thrilled Ü he's incredible.

well.. i think it's time for me to get to bed so i can get up & get mcd's from my boy.. update later.. g'night yall

xoxo; kayla

i w i s h c h a s e w a s n ' t w o r k i n g


www.angrylittlegirls.com

funny.

www.gluemeat.com

funny as well.

www.youdamnkid.com

made me giggle.

this is grreeatt:
--Oct. 5th--
Here is your daily dirty joke from http://www.Aarons-Jokes.com/


Bragging

A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American on an overseas
flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives.

"Last night I made love to my wife four times," the Frenchman bragged,
"And this morning she made me delicious crepes and she told me how much
she adored me."

"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian responded,
"And this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could
never love another man."

When the American remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, "And how
many times did you make love to your wife last night?"

"Once," he replied.

"Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted. "And what did she say to you
this morning?"

"Don't stop."



Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
________________________________

yep yep.. karlie's bday is tomorrow!!!! sweet 16, yeeah! kicks ass, lemme tell ya. i wanted to call at 12 & say happy bday, but her dad would have gotten mad. so yes.. 'tis no good. but 'tis her bday, all the same, which makes everyone happy.. 'cause we love her Ü!

haha i went out with my dad tonight, we were going from jared's house to mcd's ((chase was working)) & some lady chick who was in extreme emotional distress rear-ended us.. now my neck & back hurt.. it was a really light hit & she only hit the trailor & there was no damage to her car.. but all the same.. i was sitting weird & my back like did the wave & snapped my neck.. then i cracked it to see if that'd help and then it made my back hurt, which didn't help with the neck. so i don't know.. but 'cause there was no damage we didn't get names or license numbers or anything, so nothing we could do now. i'll survive.. i'm just a baby.
then we went to mcd's & chase was all straight faced & whatnot, but then he saw my dad & got this cute grin goin' on.. & then he saw me.. i haven't seen that big of a real smile come from him because of me in a very long time.. it felt awesome. really really awesome. but that's about that.. nothing more really. earlier i was taking a nap & chase called saying he was leaving practice early 'cause he was bored ((he's still unable to play)) & he was coming over.. so we hung out for a bit, he ate, & then he had to go to work. freaking day after his bday & already he's closing. what a punk.. i wish he wasn't going to work so much. but oh well.. at least it'll make him happy. damn i love him!

well, must go before my dad shits a brick that is golden.

g'night yall..

xoxo; kayla

i t ' s m y b a b e ' s b d a y !


it's chase's bday today.. i all called him at 12 after i'd made his card ((which i started at 10.30 & finished at 11.57)) & he didn't answer so i called back & the sweetheart was doing dishes, wow i love him lol. it's his bday & he's cleaning the damn house. then he cleaned the fish tank or whatever, but ended up killing the fish 'cause he forgot to put the stuff in there that cleans the tank before he put the fish in.. so he put it in with them & they died. he felt really bad.. he was going to go to walmart to get new fish before his dad got up, but he didn't.. i felt bad for him too. it sucked, but he's amazing so it's alright haha..

yeah, i feel like i'm wearing a blanket.. i'm wearing his hoodie now- it smells like him, i love it. he's runnin' around with his family, or mom really, 'cause he didn't have to go to school. whadda punk.. kinda. but yeah, we're gunna get together after school & whatnot, sometime.. yepp.. that's about it!

karlie's bday is in 2 days.. 2! lol it rox.. all these 16 year olds.. i am not alone. Ü

time to go though, bells' gunna ring

xoxo; kayla

h m m m m . . . . i d k


it's been 4 months & 3 days. wooowww!! how sexy is that shit?

chase's birthday is in 3 days.. 2 really. that's crazy.. i'm excited for him, he's going to get his car like 1/4 done.. all for one holiday.. that fucking rox. but i'm sad too.. 'cause once he's 16 he'll be putting in like 40 hours a week.. that means he's opening weekends & closing week days.. which means our time together just got cut by like a shitload & that makes me really sad.

he works from 9-2 tomorrow & then i guess alison jamie karlie brent austin & chase & me are going to go to anne & then hang out.. whatever comes up or something. works for me.

today i hung out with jamie austin chase & brent, that was cool.. we just drove around & went to jamie's & chase's & random places & here & whatnot, it was good fun.. now jamie's spending the night & that's grand fun too.. we're both on the comp.. but she's on the laptop in the living room lol.. we're talking online 'cause we're too lazy to talk aloud or something.. i'm not really sure.

i guess nicole's really stalking jamie.. like always asking her to do stuff & everything.. that makes me kinda ticked 'cause then that means that nicole's really the one ditching & discluding us all of the time.. not us ditching & discluding her.. & she gets mad at us for it? .. oke.

hm.. there's really nothing going on. friday was supposed to be some big-time movie night, like tuns of people went to movies.. but not many people were at the cheap seats. we went to 'i, robot' ((me, chase, austin, jamie, & brent)) & that was cool, pretty good movie. after that chase was going to take me home & we were racing or whatever & then we were on the way to my house & josh ((chase's uncle)) called & was in town, so we dropped off the fiero & i got a ride home from him.. i guess they only hung out for like half an hour.. that's cool i s'pose. but yeah, i thought karlie & alison were going to a diff movie with brady & ryan & them but i guess that plan fell out & i was going to ask them to come with us, but it wasn't my plan so i felt like i'd be rude if i invited more people.. so i didn't say anything. i haven't hung out with those girls in a while, i wish alison'd not be idle anymore.. but it's like 1, i'm sure she fell asleep or something.. that sucks.. i was going to confirm the plans for tomorrow.

well, i'm gunna go do something less interesting 'cause i'm out of boring shit to say.. so i'll update later.. bye bye;

xoxo; kayla

i ' m i n c l a s s . . a n d i w a n t o u t . t h e n i w a n t f o o d .


yep.. definitely in personal comp.. definitely bored. school is taking for fucking ever. i think i have a test next period.. i really don't know though. everyone around me is all playing some driving game.. they can't parallel park.. thank god the cars don't really blow up if & when you hit one while parking, otherwise i'd never park again.. for fear of exploding on the street. yeah.. really hope nobody's reading this around me. paranoiiddd.. yep i am.

so i guess it's a movie night, although not everyone's going to the same movie.. i don't think so anyways. not sure. but yeah.. austin & brent asked me & chase & jamie to go to 'i, robot' tonight, sounds good to me, but i've got to talk to chase. i guess we'd be going to the cheap seats at like 9.15.. i could do that, i just dunno if my parents will let me. so anal sometimes. but yeah, alison & karlie & nicole i guess are going to a diff. movie with ryan & dimitri & brady & whoever else.. that's cool. but ryan suddenly went all annoying.. like he was cool before, but he got all of the sudden super comfortable or something & now he's just annoying. that's mean.. & not really constant, but true. he apologized today ((again)) for always calling me fat & stupid & ugly. which i am. so oh well. lol

yesterday jamie & chase & austin & brent came over, that was a riot. we were talking about how when brent first found out chase & i were together he goes 'her tits are huge!' or whatever & how in the past he's said a few things that were quite similar.. he shit bricks & tried to deny it.. what a punk. lol. then we went & ran around & stuff, raced a few people.. then jamie went home & more racing went on.. lewis, then austin's & then chase's & then he raced a few people, & then i came home. that was my night. joyyyy. kinda.. jamie thinks chase has gotten mean. i don't agree.. but i can see it. lol

well.. i've got a few min, i'm going to work on my spanish hw.. 'cause that's the only hw i've had all day. i'll update some other time, ttyl, bye bye

xoxo; kayla

h e l l o .


well.. yesterday was 4 months, i found that mighty damn cool. i hate my 'friend'. just horrible timing. better be gone within a week or i'll.. be mad.

got swept for the second time yesterday.. definitely gave me 2 makeups. what the hell is today? how do i not know that? was it yesterday or the day before that i was swept? i swear i keep getting stupider. more stupid. whatever.. i s'pose at this point it doesn't really matter. so i made one up today anyways, finished the geometry quiz i'd been putting off. it's possible i failed. doing fairly well in spanish, not surprising considering i'm a cheater.. but hey, today i failed Ü so the world is at peace again. haha.. yeah. i've got another geometry quiz tomorrow to take.. yaaaay. failage. & then monday or tuesday i'll make up the biology quiz as my other makeup period thing.. that'll be grand. right.

yes.. i am bored. & soo tired, i don't know why i'm not asleep.

i need to buy gum. i need to not spend my money. i've got chase's bday the 5th, karlie's the 7th ((both of those two are sweet 16's)), & then anna's the 17th ((her golden)).. i'll have chase's present sometime this year, then karlie's sometime the next.. then anna's by the time she's 19 Ü grand plan.. brilliant. chase finally gave me real ideas for his bday.. so i'm going to get him something cool.. if i can afford it. i'd like to get him carpet for his malibu, but it's like.. you know.. $95.. & he might shoot me if i did that.. his reason? 'i'm the guy' he says. alrighty then. it's amazing, he's not sexist, but he can sure make it sound that way when he won't spend my money at all. even for food. he said $4 was a lot to spend on him.. i showed him ((again)) the bracelet that he got me. the black hills gold one. i dunno if he noticed, but gold from Riddle's doesn't quite compare to the chips & breakfast pizzas he asked for.. which i will get, but i mean.. there needs to be more. yes.

alison wants to go to the new walgreens. she thinks it'd be fun.. this makes me giggle.

i'm not a theif- this is from another journal.. i just can't remember whose.. but yeah here 'tis:
"I'm having an exsistential dilemma. Why did I go to school today? So I can go to college. Why do I want to go to college? So I can (maybe) get a job that doesn't suck. Why do I want a job that doesn't suck? Because it beats a job that sucks? For the money? Why?

Honestly, is that all there is? If so, why bother? So you don't starve? But what's it matter whether you starve or not if life is just working, sleeping, and dying?

As far as I can tell, Hemingway was right. Life is pointless. Or if it ever had a point, it's been destroyed by greed and conformity. "
-----other person------

yeeeeeah! i totally agree.. thus the no trying anymore in the hell-hole so often reffered to as school. joy, someone gets it. actually, i'm sure many do but don't really connect it to not wanting to do anything at school.. but that's okay too.. i'm lazy as well.

i think i'm done.. i'm really tired & chase is home in like.. an hour.. & 27.230875 min.. i don't know.. but i'm going to Sleep now. bye bye

xoxo; kayla

. . . . i d o n ' t k n o w . . . .


hullo.. not much is going on. jersey day went alright, i wore chase's jersey as planned, which he sprayed with his cologne so i was smellin' him all day & totally zoned out for most of it. got a lot of shit for the whole lhs in whs thing, but it's cool. i got shit today, too. but that's alright, t'was worth it. mmhm.. alison wore aaron d's older brother's jersey & ryan ended up with troy's.. karlie & nicole & liz didn't wear one.

karlie & alison & i ran around & got stuff to make shirts today.. then we tie-dyed.. i don't know how to spell that.. them tonight, which was cool.. chase had to tell us how, which he learned today in speech class lol, so that was awesome.. we ordered pizza & hung out & did that & then the chicks left & chase & i hung out, yep.

tomorrow i think i'm just going to go to chase's after we do the shirts, i'm tired & i don't feel like being around other people lately, everyone seems to be on the edge during the week.. school can fucking kiss my ass. i hate it. i wish i didn't go to whs. i wish i didn't have to go anywhere, but the drama & shit that goes down sometimes is just stupid.. even if i'm not directly involved.. who the hell cares?
i wish i could get the fuck away.

i feel like curling up into a little ball & just hiding. & lately the only person i want to talk to is chase.. mostly because i don't want to tell anyone else about what's going on in this house. & that sounds dramatic & stupid, but all the same.. it's just.. too much to deal with & i don't want it to spread & have to keep the stories straight & everything. i just want to hiiiddeeee.. & make it all go away.

damnit i love chase.

going now, i'm tired & have chores to do.. then i want to try to go to bed by 12, maybe even sleep by 12.45.. wow that'd be nice.

xoxo; kayla

u h h . . . i t ' s b e e n a w h i l e .


reasons ((to karlie)) for not updating this:

HiPpO HuN o7 (1:10:21 AM): well if it's got to do with chase nobody wants to hear it. if it's got to do with my parents it's shit nobody wants to hear complaints, if it's school, same story, if it's life.. it goes on & everybody knows it. if it's my day.. you probably already know it.

yeah.. so.. haven't updated.
& i don't feel like going & remembering everything. i've not done much.. went to illinois for my first funeral or death type thing.. 'twas sad. my great aunt. i'm proud 'cause i didn't cry.. i also felt rather insensitive for not, but.. it's not like it was easy. got to see pimpster & meet some cousins i didn't know i had.. then we went to my dad's old house in racine, wi.. that one i did cry for. that was difficult. my dad's real dad died when my dad was 3.. he died just after building that house from a heart attack.. i guess it was in the bathroom.. i can't remember where/when/how.. my dad told me once i think, but it was when i was like 8 or 10.. could go with 9. but yeah.. i told him i was a theif.. i lifted a pine cone.. i had to have something for my dad to have from that house.. i had to. when i gave it to him we all started crying. then i was thinking about how badly i needed my boy.. & he called. really really helped.. then i was sad again 'cause he's sick..

as for hell, school sucks ass & can kiss mine.

yesterday: lhs's homecoming. ended up being that none of my friends could go.. so i thought i was going to miss it & chase was there so i really wanted to be there. of course. so then stacey called looking for karlie & liz's #, but then i told her about them not having room & whatnot, so we planned on going together, but she took too long so i went out there without her.. then chase came to meet met at the gate but then wanted to leave 'cause they were getting crushed.. so we went to his house, got food, saw john walking out of mcd's.. go to his car, get in & drive off & past us.. 3 min later he came back & talked to chase for a few min & then he left- it was odd. then we drove around & cool things like that.

tonight: chase came over, we went & met up with brent m. & austin j. & drove around, started some shit with logan & them.. i guess they really don't get along & whatnot.. i tried to call zach to get ahold of logan & 'meet up' but zach's a cock so that didn't work. then we stopped at some stephanie (sp) chick's house & hung out with erica c, brit. g, alex z, autumn w, kylie.. those chicks, yep. then we dropped austin off & then we drove around with brent in his car.. we were in his car the whole time, actually.. then brent went past his house so we knew where it was & then we drove some more, then my mom called to tell me that they didn't stay at the movie 'cause she didn't feel good.. which pissed me off. & i called her a motherfucking dramaqueen & chase fucking told me that he thinks i'm going to be a lot, if not exactly, like her when i get older. i about cried. ((later on the phone i tried to talk to him about it but he was tired & just wanted to go to bed. so i didn't get anywhere with him other than when i asked why.. he said 'cause i already act like her sometimes. i cried. literally)) for god's sake.. for as hard as i try not to be, i don't know how i could be. eventhough sometimes i see it in my mannerisms.. it freaks me out & i hate it.. but it doesn't mean i'm like her. at least not as much as he made it sound.. he was vauge, but regardless. i hate this, i hate that i feel this way. if she knew how i felt & how strongly i felt it, she might just go insane. not that i don't question her sanity now.. but that's beside the point. ahhhhh. i'm going to like break down.
then we got dropped off at chase's. when chase was driving me home he started singing 'i swear' ((a country song)) & i almost cried.. 'cause he was singing it like he meant it.. & it really got to me 'cause of the mom comment. made me wonder how he could stand me if i was like her. i can't stand her. i hate her so much. how could he not feel that way towards me if/when i act like that? daaaaaaaaaamnit! but.. it also made me think of how much i love him. lots & lots & so much more. not that anyone reading this wants to hear it.

people not in relationships like mine & chase's ((that's the majority, the not ones..)) really don't want to hear about love. makes me think they're bitter towards me & i hate that. it makes me feel like i'm doing something wrong when i know i'm not. i'm in love.. screw you if you don't like it? i don't know, but it's putting a damper on things. & i'm sorry if that seems personal or intended to go to someone, but it's not & isn't.

um.. my mom's out here breaking down. i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this. i wish she'd go to the doc & get some help.. or leave.. or anything. i can't stand the way things are. she's so fucked up lately that i don't even know if it's mental or alochol induced. it's really killing the family.

it's like 2.. i'm gunna go get in the shower.

I see the questions in your eyes
I know what's weighing on your mind
But you can be sure I know my part
'Cause I'll stand beside you through the years
You'll only cry those happy tears
And though I'll make mistakes
I'll never break your heart

I swear
By the moon and stars in the sky
I'll be there
I swear
Like the shadow that's by your side
I'll be there
For better or worse
Till death do us part
I'll love you with every beat of my heart
I swear

I'll give you everything I can
I'll build your dreams with these two hands
We'll hang some memories on the wall
And when there's silver in your hair
You won't have to ask if I still care
'Cause as time turns the page
My love won't age at all

I swear
By the moon and stars in the sky
I'll be there
I swear
Like the shadow that's by your side
I'll be there
For better or worse
Till death do us part
I'll love you with every beat of my heart
I swear

I swear
By the moon and stars in the sky
I'll be there
I swear
Like the shadow that's by your side
I'll be there
For better or worse
Till death do us part
I'll love you with every beat of my heart
I swear
I swear

yep sir ma'am. g'night yall.. sweet dreams

xoxo; kayla

ps- whs homecoming week is next week.. tu. is jersey day & i'm going to wear chase's lhs jersey to it. i shall have a kicked ass by many. chase said if anyone touches me they'll get a black & blue everything. alison & karlie & maybe nicole are going to join in if the jerseys are accessible. yep.. 'tis all. bye bye.

b o o o !


i got this from my cousin Troy..



The 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud lady, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with her hair fashionably coifed and makeup perfectly applied, even though she is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today.

Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary.

After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready.

As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on her window.

"I love it," she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.

"Mrs.. Jones, you haven't seen the room . just wait."

"That doesn't have anything to do with it," she replied; "Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time.

Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged... it's how I arrange my mind.

I already decided to love it. It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.

Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away .. just for this time
in my life.

Old age is like a bank account: you withdraw from what you've put in."

So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories.

»Thank you to all i love for your part in filling my memory bank. I am still depositing.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.
------------------------------------------------------------


i thought that was pretty cool.

well, i'm headed to illinois in an hour or 2, so it's time for me to go. i'll update later.. after my 4 day trip without friends !OR! my boy & only my pimpster cousin to keep me sane. Ü ttyl,

xoxo; kayla

ps, i'm bringing my laptop, but that doesn't mean i'll be on.

pps, yall DO realize that i've not gone this long without chase for like almost 4 months.. & i've not taken a long vaca this far away, like 9 hrs, from home without a friend.. ever. sccccaaaaaarrrrred.

s u r v e y s . . e h h


..yourself..

name? - kayla
eye color? - brown
hair color? - brownish goldish ugly.
shoe size? - like 7.5/8
weight? - 100/103
nationality ? - i'm a mix.. 7 diff things
height ? - 5'4''
pant size? - from 0-3's

..more about you..

favorite color? - blue(s)/green(s)/pink/black
favorite animal? - bearry
favorite bug? - a butterfly's a bug right? otherwise.. dragonfly.
favorite fantasy creature? - um.. the only fantasy creature i can think of is a unicorn..
favorite band and, or singer? - ah, too many to pick..
favorite actress? - can't pick
favorite actor? - can't pick
what do you want to do when you grow up? - well, hopefully, i think, a elementary school teacher. i think 1st grade.
are you single? - happily no.
are you a virgin? - yup
if not how old were you when you lost your virginty? - n/a
with a guy or girl? - well it'll be a guy, i promise you that.
have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? - only on the cheek.
do you intimate thoughts about someone, and they dont know about it? - i'm sure i do.. & i'm sure they don't..
have you ever masterbated? - no
do you watch porn? - never have.. i've been told that's a bad thing.
have you ever got/given it up the butt? - aahh no!
oral: gave or gotten? - haha
are you striaght - yes
bi - no
gay or lesbian? - no

..which one do you like?..

black or white color ( not race) - both
fruit or veggie - fruit
white or wheat - white
steak or seafood - seafood
lobster or crab - crab
ribs or turkey - ribs
good charlotte or blink 182 - blink
tool or korn - both
disturbed or linkin park - linkin park
the whitestrips or emo - whitestripes
eminem or 50 cent - both
johnny depp or vin disel - both
mettalica or nickelback - both
papa roach or smashing pumpkins - both
elvis or jay-z - both
snoop dog or pink floyd - both
used or d-12 - both
slayer or slipknot - both
nine inch nails or areosmith - both
Marilyn Manson or MC Chris - who's MC Chris?
Steriogram or tim magraw - tim
big and rich or Lil Jon and The Eastside Boyz - both
Lil Wyte or sum 41 - sum 41
rock or rap - both
pink or black - both
night or day - night
sleep or awake - awake.. usually
moon or sun - moon
water or land - both
truck or car - either
blonde or black - either
aol or aim - aim
glasses or contacts - either
dogs or cats - dogs
hot or cold - depends on where & why
summer or winter - summer
rain or sunshine - rraaiin with the sun shining
tornadoes or earthquakes - neither
up or down - depends
big or small - depends
fat or skinny - depends

..say what comes to mind when i say these words..

black - night
white - the shirt chase was wearing today
blue - the sky
red - stop
rubber - the rubber band on my ankle that i wear ((almost)) every day.
banna - my mom told me to eat one a while ago
taco - gross. my mom's eating one now.
window - i'd like to jump out of mine. just to see if i'd land on my feet. not to die.
glass - i'd prolly land on some ((glass)) if i jumped out of my window 'cause i'd have to break through it to get out..
fire - sounds like fun
hot - chase is amazingly hott
sun - it looks cool through rain
cold - i am
snow - i don't want it to
belt - i need a new one
handcuffs - i don't own any.
police - i don't like them
bed - i wish i was in chase's.. SLEEPiNG.. perves.
ask - i'm asking a Q right now
yes! - no!
ow - when skinny legs scratched me today.. it hurt.
book - i want to read mine
sexy - chase
sex - no comment
big - hehehe.. i mean.. - no comment
small - my boobs?
tiny - my boobs?
second - chase's got 2nd place trophies above his comp ((his & his dad's))
hours - too many have passed & i'm not asleep yet & i haven't seen/talked to chase
day - i hope tomorrow's better than today
dark - i'm not dark enough.
sad - i kind of am.
yellow - jello
whoa - whoa stuff.. i feel secretive.
music - i want to listen to some
money - i want more
cd - i need to burn a new good one
write - i hate writing
hand - i have 2 of them. i wish i was holding chase's
lotion - hehe.. i mean.. i need some for my legs.. yeeah
tissue - um.. lil' kim.. how many licks.. listen to it
blow - hehe.. i mean.. blow pops!
blow up - dolls.
moo - cow.. me.. i mean.. bessy.
quack - quack seat back. shotgun is MINE bitch!
pop - tart whores.
heart - mine's still beating..
love - i'm in love with chase & i love him.
kiss - ah, i wanna kiss chase
1st date - fun
14 - lucky #
100 - + 76 = days of hell left.
4 - i've been with chase for nearly 4 months ((straight)) this time
wind - it's windy
popcorn - sounds gross
spank - uh.. i dunno
elmo - tickle me elmo
sex - didn't we ask this already?
virgin - who cares?
rubbermade - tupperwear? is that even the right word?
charley - horse.
school - sucks AAASSSSSS
boyfriend/ girlfriend - i love my boyfriend.



yeaaaaaaaaahhhhhh...... this one sucked.

. . r a n d o m . .


hiii.. i don't feel good. i think i ate some bad cheesebread.. 'cause it went flat & looks funny, but i ate it anyways & now feel stupid for doing so. yup. also, my non-friend is making me not feel good.

i would have spent the night at chase's lastnight if he'd wanted me to.. or if i'd had stuff. but he said no before i even mentioned my friend was around.. i dunno, sucks to be me i guess. he doesn't seem to want to be around so much anymore.. hopefully he's not all burnt out on me or anything & it's just me being a spaz. 'cause appearently i am.. according to him. not that he could deny being mean sometimes.. a lot more than usual.. actually, he could deny it.. & he does whenever i bring it up. i feel like a fucking stalker since football started. he's said a few things that really make it seem like i'm oh so annoying & it's horrible to have me around or call or want to talk for longer than a few seconds or anything.. it's like he doesn't have time for me & i have to shove myself into his oh so tight schedule. i feel like he doesn't want me there/around & i don't like it. & i don't like how he treats me when i try to get a hold of him or make plans or whatever.. he makes me feel like the most annoying inconvenience ever. yeah. but then again.. somtimes it's all how it used to be & it's all good & he's as much in love as me. but it still feels like it's 40-60; where he isn't as the majority. it's really fucking weirding me out. plus he's got his malibu now.. i wish i knew something about cars & all of the stuff he's got to do.. the whole 'restoration process' .. i gotta feeling i'm about to be replaced.. so i just wish i could be there & have something, anything to do with it. i feel like such an idiot. i feel like a fucking puppy dog. i won't call him tomorrow.. see if that makes either of us feel better.

damnit.. i can't believe i even feel this way. i just feel like such a stalker.. i want to cry! before i never had a problem with it 'cause i didn't have to call.. i didn't have to try to track him down or wonder where he was.. now i never know & he doesn't want to let me know & when he's told me he'll call & i wait at least an hour, maybe 3 after he said he would before i call.. i figure he could let me know what's up. it never used to be like this & it's scary that it is now. i feel like becoming a hobit.

[[.wants to hide.]]

i can't wait 'til football's over.
i hate school. sophmore year isn't lookin' any better than freshy. daaaaaaamnit.

clarkey-poo just told me he might take me off-roading in the 'burban tomorrow 'cause there'll be some 'sweet mud'.. that would kick ass. other than that i have no life Ü

i want to watch a movie but i have no good ones. sucks for me. lah dee dah.. i want to read, too.. but by the time i get to bed i'll be too tired. & my back fucking kills. & my shoulders & my neck. i should make chase rub my back sometime 'cause i scratch his all the time.. & play with his hair. but of course i won't even ask.

today i hung out with karlie & alison & lisa & chase & brad & scottie & christina & 2 other younggin' chicks from hurley ((haha)) & jeremy.. i think that was it. first alison & karlie & i went to szhechwan's ((sp)) for foodage.. then we went to wal-mart.. then we got poured on.. it was funny, we all saw it coming & ran for the car & we didn't even make it there before it started coming down. i loved it! haha.. then we went & got gas, & then to jeremy's & then to alison's & then to lisa's & then alison's & then to my house & then back to alison's & then we stayed there.. scottie left with the girls & jeremy & then chase came over & then lisa & brad left & then chase left & then alison dropped karlie off, then me, & then i came home & ate old nasty cheesebread & chase called & online i talked with anna & now clarkey-poo & kind of troy & kind of john.. & that's about it. my joyous day.

okay, had enough.. bye bye

xoxo; kayla

ps.. chase's bday is oct. 5th.. i wanna do something special & cool.. any ideas? it'll be almost a month before our 1 year ((not total)) mark.. & eventhough chase said time doesn't matter.. i think it does considering he once counted the days. so yes.. any ideas? thanks bunches

i d o n ' t k n o w .



i just felt like i should update, but i'm not in the mood to type. i wonder if chase's gone in here & read anymore of this shit. there's certainly a lot to read.. i don't know. he's still moody lately, although not as much as before. maybe it's just 'cause of school.. or his mom or sis or something, maybe his dad.. i don't know. someone's on his aol sn right now, & considering it's 4 in the morning & they've been on for 20 min.. that's pretty unusual. & i think it's him 'cause his dad always signs into msn too.. ahhh i'm such a stalker. but yeah, so shoot me if i love him & would like to communicate. not that we don't. shit i'm done.

yeah, president's bowl was tonight.. yesterday actually, that was cool, but after was better 'cause i went to chase's & had my dad come get me at like 1.. but he was drunk so i had to drive home. mmhm. i saw a lotta people at the pb though, from jake & dan to all the whs people & a few og, then some rhs & throw in a good few lhs ((john was there & he was cool i guess, but he touched me. lol it wasn't so bad i guess, but it's so creepy that it's how it is now.. i never thought i'd not want a john hug & now it's just.. eh, nothing compared to a chase one. but yeah..)) & kadie was there, she got braces & lost weight. cool deal i guess.

lisa's bday was yesterday.. 2 days ago now. yeah, sweet 16! i called her & said happy bday. my dad's making her a firepit thing, it looks pretty sexy.

chase got his malibu. it's a blue '80.. i haven't seen it yet but i guess it's not in as nice of shape as it was said to be.. from the body to the interior.. but that's alright.. whatever chase wants it to be, that's what it'll be. yup.

buuuttt i think i'm going to go. i was going to wait 'til whoever got off, but i don't want to. soo ttyl.. bye bye

xoxo; kayla

w a r m f u z z i e s !


chase broke into woohu today & read some of this. actually, i think he only read the surveys in blue & stuff 'cause he said the little pink was too small to read.. thank god for little fonts. wow, i was so freaked out, i left the house. literally took off in the van for 6 & a half minutes.. i mean, it's not like there's anything bad in here, there's nothing bad to say, even if i wanted to.. it's just.. well, i'm insane & i figure it's better for him to just think it than for me to let him read & prove it. but yeah.. god i was scared. don't know why, but i was. go figure.

yesterday i was a bad gf. i still feel bad for that. fucking hell i'm an idiot. i'll tell the story, eventhough it's long & nobody really wants to read it. okay, so karlie & i got together after zach & logan forced us, then zach & logan ditched, so then we went to the notebook which was a kick ass movie, quite sad & whatnot, a real heart warmer. if the people in front of us hadn't of been crying hysterically & making me laugh, i might have cried. or had i been alone. i've never cried from a movie before though so i don't know.. probably wouldn't have. but the tears were in the eyes, oh yes. karlie had them in her eyes too.. yep. soooo then we went & called chase who was working out shipping details for his '80 malibu that he finally got ((soooo happy for him, i'm really glad he's getting this done, i can't wait!.. & i haven't told him, but i finally picked.. & i like malibus better lol)) soo he was going to call me back.. so i called logan, who had been half-stalking me all night, kept texting me & shit, he's odd.. i don't like how he's so clingy.. i don't think chase likes it either. but seriously, he always talks to me online, on the telle, & he texts me, & he always wants to hang out.. i dunno, he's cool & all, but it's kinda creepy. but yeah, i called him 'cause i promised i would, i'd already dodged him 3 days in a row.. so then we went & picked him up at katie's, zach's new chick's house, & then went to jeremy's 'cause karlie made me.. then chase called back & was all 'offended/hurt' 'cause i went to another dude's house when i knew it was cool for me to go there.. & i was like 'well when i called you seemed awfully busy & i didn't want to interrupt or wh-' & he cut me off & was like 'kayla, you've been my girlfriend for like a year now, you should know that you can come over here without it interrupting or anything.' & i was like 'well shit, i'm sorry.. is it too late for me to go there now?' & he was like 'i don't know, probably. call cody for me i want to see if he can hang out tonight.' i was like 'uh.. okay. what do you want me to say?' & he was like 'whatever you want, you know what to say, just ask if he's home & have him call me! okay bye!' & he was getting all pissy or whatever so i was like 'okay bye?' he's like 'talk to you in a few, bye.' & i go 'okay love you? bye!' & he like got on my ass for not having to say it everytime & that we'd talk in a few seconds & i could live if we didn't say it for the few seconds we didn't talk & whatnot.. i was like 'damn, okay, bye then.' & he goes 'love you, bye' & hangs up.. soo i called cody, who wasn't home, so i called chase, who then decided it was too late to do anything ((note, eventhough he was willing to drive clear across town to chill with cody.. i think he just wanted the hot tub.)) haha.. soo then i was like 'alright well you sure you don't want to come over?' & he goes 'by the time you get those guys dropped off & get there i'd have to leave. i'll just go to bed.' i was like '.. okay then, sweet dreams.' & his goodbye was all hurried-like so i knew he wasn't going to sleep. but yeah, so we got off & i took karlie home & then decided to go to chase's so i called him when i was 'bout a block away but since he didn't answer i figured he didn't want me to stop.. so i passed by 'round 10.50.. the same time he was looking at the clock on his computer & wondering if i was going to come over. he never got that call, so that was like fucking bogusitis hugetime. soo then i felt really bad & since i promised logan i'd have him to zach's by 11, i got my ass 'a goin' lol.. so then he calls zach who told him to just go to my house, which means i could have gone to chase's & even been there for 5 min! ooh i was pissed.

& my dad is tellin me i gotta go so i'll finish this later.. ta ta

okay, so it's like september first now, but i said i'd finish that entry & it's been too damn long, so here you have it..

yeah, then i ended up freaking out for like all night & whatnot, i even begged my mom to let me leave, plus chase made me feel seriously guilty for not going to his house.. then he was like all pissy & shit, it just sucked. so then by the time i was ready to just take the van & go there ((my dad was out of town, i don't remember if i mentioned that..)) he would have been asleep. it was a bad time. then i went & got in the shower & 'she thinks she needs me' was playing.. i cried like a baby. soo yeah then i felt even worse & wanted to go there, so i wrote a note ready to be left on his car & then my mom woke up.. so i couldn't leave to put it on there. yeah.. bad times. eventually i just started to simmer down though & went to sleep & stuff & yeah.. that's about that. all done! haha.. finally.

xoxo; kayla

b l a h . . i l o v e c h a s e !


ABOUT YOU

Your full name: Kayla ((i don't have a middle name, i swear on my life)) Lil

Age: 16

Height: 5'4''

Natural hair colour: like ash brown in the winter, summer i get a few highlights & it turns kinda goldish

Eye colour: brown

Number of siblings: 10+9-19

Glasses/contacts?: both, almost always contacts

Piercings: used to be my ears, but i think they're filled in by now..

Tattoos: none

Braces?: not anymore

FAVOURITE

Colour: blue/green/pink/black

Band: can't pick

Song: can't pick

Stuffed animal: curly

Video game: i duno.. racing of some sort

TV show: friends or charmed or something on mtv or plastic surgery/before & after.

Movie: can't pick

Book: can't pick

Food: um.. none? i don't know, can't pick that either. damn i'm indecicive.

Game on a cell phone: probably snake.

CD cover: i didn't know i was required to have a fav.. never thought about it

Flower: lilac

Scent: chase

Animal: bearry or chase's pets

Comic book: um.. archie?

Cereal: frosted flakes

Website: i don't know.. i surf a lot.

Cartoon: um.. babar

DO YOU

Play an instrument?: not anymore, i quit 4 of them, i figured i should just stop

Watch TV more than 60 hours a week?: uh.. no.

Like to sing?: if no one can hear me

Have a job?: nope, i'm such a lazy ass

Have a cell phone?: yes

Like to play sports?: no

Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: yes

Have a crush on someone?: it's more than a crush

Live somewhere NOT in the united states?: no

Have more than 5 TVs in your house?: yes

Have any special talents/skills?: haha maybe.

Excercise daily?: hardly

Like school?: FUCK no

CAN YOU

Sing the alphabet backwards?: nope

Stand on your tip toes without wearing shoes?: dunno.. probably not

Speak any other languages?: i'm going into my 3rd year of spanish, but that doesn't mean i can speak it.

Go a day without food?: not anymore.. sadly.

Stay up for more than 24 hours?: yes

Read music, not just tabs?: no

Roll your tongue?: maybe

Eat a whole pizza?: ah yeah, give me a few days

HAVE YOU EVER

Snuck out of the house?: yes

Cried to get out of trouble?: no, not that i can remember

Gotten lost in your city?: haha yeah.. i suck

Seen a shooting star?: yes

Been to any other countries besides the united states?: no

Had a serious surgery?: nope

Stolen something important to someone else?: nope

Solved a rubiks cube?: no, so close.. & yet so far away

Gone out in public in your pajamas?: lol yeah

Cried over a girl?: yeah, but in a totally non-sexually-involved way

Cried over a boy?: yes, way too many times

Kissed a random stranger?: no, ick

Hugged a random stranger?: no, ick

Been in a fist fight?: haha not quite, i'd probably die

Been arrested?: nope

Done drugs?: nope

Had alcohol?: just barely

Laughed and had milk come out of your nose?: nope lol

Pushed all the buttons on an elevator?: yeeaah

Gone to school only to find you had the day off because of a holiday/etc?: haha no, but i went early once thinking i had to be there for a meeting & it was the next day.. that sucked.

Swore at your parents?: yeeah.. i covered it up though

Been to warped tour?: no.. sounded like fun, but no.

Kicked a guy where it hurts?: sadly, yes.. he cried, i'll never do it again

Been in love?: am now

Been close to love?: obviously

Been to a casino?: yeah

Ran over an animal and killed it?: haha i dunno, my dad says the little gopher was there, i didn't see it.. didn't feel anything.. so i couldn't tell you.

Broken a bone?: only a fracture

Gotten stitches?: nope

Had a waterballoon fight in winter?: haha no but that sounds like fun, i'm trying it

Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour?: ewww no

Made homemade muffins?: maybe.. can't remember, probably

Bitten someone?: haha yeah

Been to disneyland/disneyworld?: yep

More than 5 times?: no, 2

Been to niagra falls?: nope

Burped in someones face?: haha no.. gross.. never in the face, just around them

Gotten the chicken pox?: yes, damn that wasn't any fun

WHENS THE LAST TIME YOU

Brushed your teeth: an hour or so ago

Went to the bathroom: about 20 min ago

Saw a movie in theaters: spider man 2 with chase

Read a book: i read everynight

Had a snow day: last school year

Had a party: my sweet 16 the weekend after i turned

Had a slumber party: uh.. a few nights ago i had a sleep over.. slumber party? um.. the lake or the hotel? lol

Made fun of someone: today, myself

Tripped in front of someone: i usually catch myself.

Went to the grocery store: i was in the parking lot today, but i don't remember the last time i was in there to get groceries

Got sick: uh.. a cold about a month ago

Cursed: 2 seconds ago..

PICK ONE

Fruit/vegetables: fruit

Black/white: black

Lights on/lights off: off

TV/movie: depends on what's on

Car/truck: i need more specifics than that

Body spray/lotion: body spray, i'm allergic to a lot of lotions

Cash/check: cash, for sure

Pillows/blankets: both!

Headache/stomach ache: headache, i'm more used to those.

Paint/charcoal: charcoal

Chinese food/mexican food: chinese!

Summer/winter: SUMMER

Snow/rain: RAAAiiNN.. speaking of that, it should.

Fog/misty: both

Rock/rap: both

Meat/vegetarian: meat

Boy/girl: what kind of Q is that?

Chocolate/vanilla: swirl

Sprinkles/icing: both

Cake/pie: both

French toast/french fries: oh both

Strawberries/blueberries: strawberries

Ocean/swimming pool: both

Hugs/kisses: both

Cookies/muffins: Both

p33n/bewbz: p33n.. if that's means what i think it does

Wallet/pocket: pocket for me thanks

Window/door: depends on where they're leading & why they're there

Emo/goth: either

Pink/purple: pink

Cat/dog: dog

Long sleeve/short sleeve: short

Pants/shorts: pants

Winter break/spring break: SPRING BREAK.. ah, stupid Q

Spring/autumn: spring!

Clouds/clear sky: clear

Moon/mars: Moon

FRIENDSHIP

How many friends do you have?: a best few & other many

What are their names?: yeah right

Do you have a best friend?: many

Have you ever liked one of your friends?: my boy is one of my best

Do you have more guy friends or more girl friends?: guy, by farrrr

Have you ever lost a friend?: yes, a few too many

Have you ever gone to an amusement park with a friend?: yes

Whats an inside joke between you and a friend?: "i'm a james bond driver!" "party at flints!" "fuckwhee & apple sauce!" "pennies!"

Have you ever gotten in a big arguement with a friend?: yeah, who hasn't?

Whats the nicest thing youve ever done for a friend?: helped them

Whats the nicest thing a friend has ever done for you?: helped me

Do you miss any of your old friends?: of course!

What friend have you known the longest?: anna, since birth baby, oh yeah

Do you regret anything youve done to a friend?: i'm sure

If so, what is it?: not telling

How often do you spend time with your friends?: not often enough

Do any of your friends drive?: most yeah

Has a friend of yours ever died?: not a close friend, but an acquaintance.

Whats the dumbest thing youve done with a friend?: oh wow.. we're all so dumb, i could never pick

What do you think your friends think of you?: hopefully nothing bad Ü

LOVE AND ALL THAT CRAP

Have you ever been in love?: am now

If you have, with who?: chase

Are you single?: no

Are you in a relationship?: yes

If so, for how long?: going on 8 months

Do you believe there is someone for everyone?: yes

What is your idea of the best date?: being with chase

What was your first kiss like?: haha, funny, not what it should have been

How old were you when you got your first kiss?: when it counted? like 14

Do you think love is a load of shit?: no

Whats the best experiance youve ever had with the opposite sex?: being with chase, everything we've had, have, & will have.

If you are single, have you had any boyfriends/girlfriends before?: --

Have you ever been dumped?: yes

Have you ever dumped someone?: yes

Whats the most sexual thing youve done with the opposite sex?: uh.. something.

WORD ASSOCIATION

Slippers: mine are purpleish

Hat: i still have austin's

Hard: haha

Free: i wish chase had more free time

Space: there's too much space between chase & i right now.

Taste: i can still taste him

Good charlotte: they're cool

Red: supposedly danger, but love too.

Deep: feelings go deep. i'm a deep thinker

Heart: i <3 chase

Cord: cable cord?

Cheese: cheesebread.

Rain: sexy fun times

Work: i need a job. chase works too much

Pedal: the brake pedal in chase's car is like worn out

Head: haha

Bed: i wish i was in chase's

Fluff: chase's got fluffy white down comforters on his bed.. 2 of them

Hardcore: i'm a badass.. hardcore. ((haha jk))

Race: races, husets

Knife: we need to buy new ones.

Jump: jump for joy when i get to be with chase. ((haha))

I....

am: getting tired

want: chase

need: chase

crave: chase

love: chase

hate: alcohol, drugs, food mostly, my bod kind of

did: just now feel sick

feel: like i want to be with chase

miss: chase

am annoyed by: the fact that my mom won't go to sleep. now i gotta stay up 'til 5.fucking30.. god i'm nice

would rather: be with chase!

am tired of: feeling like something's wrong

will always: love chase

SILLY STUFF

What is your favourite genre of music?: i dunno.. i like almost all of it

What time is it now?: 4.32am

What day is it?: thursday, august 26th

Whens the last time you called someone?: um.. i called chase at like 8.15?

How much money do you have right now?: like $50

Are you hungry?: i don't think so.. but i want to eat anyways

Whatcha doin?: typing.. thinking about chase

Do you like parades?: sure

Do you like the moon?: yeah

What are you going to do when youre done with this?: sleep i hope

Isnt cup a funny word when you repeat it over and over?: hm.. ((gotta say it repeatedly.. )) yep.. 'tis

If you could have any magical power what would it be?: to fly

Have you ever had a picnic?: yes, i miss those.

Did you ever have one of those skip-its when you were young?: no, but i used a few.. those were fun

What about sock em boppers?: Yeeahh.. then i punched too hard & popped one of them.. the other is still around here somewhere..

Are you wearing any socks right now?: nope, are you?

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE

funny?: sometimes, more looking than anything

pretty?: hardly

sarcastic?: oh no, not at all!

lazy?: ooh yes, like you'd not believe

hyper?: if i've got coke or diet coke.. like pop, ladies & gents.. not drugs.

friendly?: mostly

evil?: oh yes.. muahahaha.

smart?: sometimes

strong?: um.. maybe in some ways. not physically though

talented?: maybe in some ways..

dorky?: yup

ASSOCIATE THESE WORDS WITH SOMEONE YOU KNOW (or dont know)

high: my cousin tyler.. or tyler h & austin h & j bettmann & peter b & jordan s

skip: leah

dance: liz

lonely: alison or karlie or anna

pen: cil. or chase.. 'cause i used one in his room tonight

flower: daisy.. the cow

window: chase 'cause when he leaves he always rolls the right one down to say he loves me & 'bye

psycho: um.. ben. or me.

brain freeze: haha alison.. at the fair.. wow funny.

orange: stacey

sassy: all my girls.

jelly: me

FOR OR AGAINST

suicide: against

love: 4

drunk drivers: against

airplanes: 4

war: against

canada: what?

united states: 4

rock music: 4

gay marriage: 4

school: school is bad. education is good.

surveys: 4

parents: ehh, debatable

cars: 4

killing: against

britney spears: against

coffee: 4

pants: 4

WOULD YOU EVER

Sky dive?: yes

Play strip poker?: maybe.. who else is playing & do i win?

Run away?: yes.. if the cops wouldn't be called

Curse at a teacher?: yes, maybe.

Not take a shower for a week?: NO

Ask someone out?: n/a now, but maybe

Lie to someone to make them think better of you?: no

Visit a foreign country for more than a month?: if my friends & chase can come with

Go scuba diving?: yes

Write a book?: yes

Become a rockstar?: no

Have casual sex?: no

LAST QUESTIONS

What shampoo do you use?: pantiene pro-v.. the stuff for the curls

Whens the last time you did something sexual with the opposite sex?: yesterday, 6ish hours ago

What kind of computer do you have?: a piece of shit. a gateway.

What grade are you in?: 10th in 4 days

Do you like to throw popcorn at people in the movies?: yeah, fun

Or just make out?: that's better

How many posters do you have in your room?: in my room? many, on the walls? none.

How many cds do you have?: oh shit.. lots & lots x lots more.

What time is it now?: 4.41am

just wanted to throw this in here:

Your Stripper Info by radioface
first name
age
Stripper Name:	Tina Tingles
Specialty:	u get the most $ in yer thong
Customers say:	"I think i love you..."
Quiz created with MemeGen!

xoxo; kayla

b l a h b l a h b l a h !

You Know You're From South Dakota When...

During a storm you check the cattle before you check the kids. The local gas station sells live bait. You don't buy all your vegetables at the grocery store. You know the code names for everyone on the CB. You'll skip your cousin's funeral for the first day of deer season. You don't clean up the dog's mess because it's just fertilizer. It takes 30 seconds to reach your destination and it's clear across town. You can tell the smell of a skunk and the smell of a feed lot apart. You consider a building a mall if it's bigger than the local Wal-Mart The first, and perhaps only celebrity you've ever met is Captain 11. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting on I-90 for the "follow me" car to come back during road construction. "Vacation" means stopping off at Wall Drug for Friday night dinner and a drive through the Badlands early Saturday morning, with the rest of the weekend driving through the Black Hills before heading home for Sunday night chores. Your school classes were canceled because of cold. And cold means 10 below zero. You know not only 'what' but 'where' Sturgis is. And, your first big trip in life was to see Mt. Rushmore and visit the Flintstone's Bedrock City in Custer. A big shopping trip is going to Sioux Falls - Empire Mall. Minneapolis, if you are really living. You know all 4 seasons: Almost winter, winter, HOT HOT HOT, and winter again. There is a McDonald's in every town with a population of 1,000 or more. Over 1,000, there is a McDonald's on each end of town. Eight-foot tall snow piles divide the lane down the middle of Main Street from November through March. Pop is a Coke and soda involves ice cream and root beer. You plug your car in at night, but it's not to charge the batteries. You could always count on the local truck stop or The Happy Chef for the best breakfast in town. Aside from pheasants, mosquitos are the state bird. Menards on any weekend is busier than the toy stores at Christmas Praire dogs outnumber people 10 to 1 You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from South Dakota.

g o i n g c r a a a z z z y y y !


"hey let's get away"

i don't know what i'm freaking out about, but i'm really losing it.

i hate it when i don't know what's going on & i feel like something bad's about to happen & i hate how i look & it's depressing & everything else is just getting fucked up or something.. i don't even know what i'm talking about anymore.. i'm probably just being dramatic. but i want to talk to chase; not that i'd call 'cause it's too late for that & again, i'd feel like a stalker gf. shit. it feels like the only time i'm sane & calm is when i'm with him.. like he's the only thing that makes serious, solid sense. sometimes i'm cool with my friends, but i just can't totally relax without him.. damn it all.


xoxo; kayla

ps.. 3

y y y y a a a a a y y y y y ! ! ! ! !

i love chase! <3


i totally just realized that in 4 days it's 3 months!! yeeaaah!! we've never made it this long, at least not for a straight shot. i love this! yes! lol happy! & done, i swear! Ü

xoxo; kayla

& i a m t h e l u c k i e s t !

oh yes, i love him

how is it that one life can mean so much to another? that so much of the basis for breathing can be placed on the breathing of another? as in if their breathing ceased, your reason for continuing would disintegrate? yeah.. i dunno, i don't understand where feelings like these come from, or why humans seem to be the only beings capable of feeling so strongly, acting on the feelings, & then living life according to them. it's just crazy.. blows me away. & to have felt some of these feelings.. the kind where you know you'd give anything for that one person in your life ((not to say that you wouldn't for more than the one, but for it to be so strongly felt for the person you love/are in love with.. you know?)).. that you could have everyone in the world surround you & still manage to feel totally alone unless that one person was there next to you.. it's amazing. yeah, moulin rouge triggered that. i'll be done though, sorry to bore you.

um.. dunno what else i was going to say. i was going to put my schedule in here.. so here ya go:
biology
english 2
geometry
lunch study
spanish 3
personal comp 1
world geo 2

biology
spanish 3
geometry
lunch study
reading accel
english 2
cardio fitness 2

yes, special. it sucks ass.

also.. today was boring, i was in a bad mood like the whole day 'cause chase seemed to not want to talk on the telle & i felt like i'd been a bitch. i'm not sure why, i hope i'm not pushing him. but then he called later tonight & i asked if i'd see him tomorrow & he was like 'probably, i think so.. but you just gotta work with me on this 'cause i'm really tired lately' & i was like 'no, i know you are.. & i know you've got a lot going on & i don't want you to feel like you've got to hang out with me, i know you're really tired & working your ass off & i know all of that, so you just gotta tell me if it's not gunna work out for us to hang out, just let me know if you're too tired or anything..' & i ranted off like that & he was just like glad-but-too-tired-to-really-show-it so he was like 'okay, yeah, i know..' & then we hung up & whatnot, i felt better for having said something & apologizing for having been annoying or a nuisance or anything. yep.. then he called back about 4 min later & told me that he still needed a pic of me.. that made me laugh 'cause we've been together for about 9 months now & we still don't have pics of each other lol. but yeah, so i told him i'd get him one, i just had to take a decent one.. & then i asked if i got one & he was like 'yeah, if i can find one..' & i was like 'alright, well if not, i'll just take one.. or a whole roll, whatever.. i could do that. yeah..' & he was like 'haha, well whatever..' & i go 'haha what brought that on?' & he goes 'i dunno, i was just thinking & i still don't have a pic of you.. kasey had a pic of you.. i saw it from a 10 ft glance, i think it was you anyways.. she looked a lot like you..' & i didn't get that 'cause i'm pretty sure kasey doesn't have a pic of me, but oh well, so i told him that & then he was like 'well anyways, i need a pic of you.' & i was like 'okay, i'll work on it.' & then we said our 'i love you's' & he went to sleep & that's about that; haha.

other than nothing.. 'round 9.40 karlie & i got tired of sitting around & doing nothing, so after our fruitless efforts of trying to find something to do for an hour, we decided to just chill up at anne sullivan & swing & whatnot, so it was alright.. i talked to ben on the telle while i was there, we hadn't done that in a long time, so that was nice. & there's really notta else to say about today.

ooh.. thought of something. lol it's nice how i type that.. as if you wouldn't have caught on.. anyways.. i'm depressed 'bout my bod. good to know, i get to re-visit this bullshit.

& i hate that summer's almost over.

fuck that shit.

well.. time to take a shower.. g'night & sweet dreams & whatnot!

xoxo; kayla

i m i s s c h a s e !


::i found this in a random journal::

A girl and guy were speeding over 100 mph on the road...

Girl: Slow down. Im scared.
Guy: No this is fun.
Girl: No its not. Please, its too scary!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!
Guy: Now give me a BIG hug.
*Girl hugs him*
Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself? Its bugging me.

(In the paper the next day):

A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. 2 people were on it, but only 1 survived.

The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his breaks broke, but he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him & felt her hug 1 last time, then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die.

If there's anyone you love this much on here, re-post this.


xoxo; kayla

w e l l . . .


i had an entry in here. it was a good one too. then my computer froze. you all will have to live without unless i feel the urge to type it at the end of this survey thingdealshindig.

The Kissing Survey

Age of first kiss: i'm not sure, like elementary school.. 3rd grade? lol
Number of people you've kissed: um.. kissed is like 8, made out with is like 3 or 4
French kissing is: sexy, very good.
The worst kind of kiss is: unwanted or pushed.
The best kisser you know: chase, by sooooooo far.
The worst kisser you know: um.. that's just mean.
The celebrity you'd like to kiss: i swear i'm not lieing when i say the only person i want to kiss is chase- who is not a celebrity, but my boyfriend.
Friend you would like to kiss: chase is one of my best friends.
Favorite movie kiss: oh geez.. um.. i can't pick, so many.
Do you kiss on the first date? i kissed chase about 1 second after he asked me out.. he's just so irresistable.
Eyes open or closed? closed
Average number of kisses you get a day: if i'm with chase.. hopefully many.
Ever kissed a friend's boyfriend or girlfriend? ah nope, that'd be really horrible
The last person you kissed: Chase
Best placed to be kissed: haha can't make me pick.. jk; lips.
Have you kissed someone of the same sex? not on the lips, only cheek
What about the opposite sex? ah, yes.
Do you consider kissing cheating? yeah!
The longest you've gone without a kiss: uh.. while having a bf? like.. 2 weeks, vacations sucked. without.. however long i was single i suppose, that or before i started going out with guys.
The kiss(es) you regret most is: austin holt.. god, whyyy??
Kissing in public is: grand- show the world how you feel!
Tongue rings are: couldn't tell ya.. seems kinda odd.. but i don't know.
Two girls kissing is: depends on why they're kissing.
Two guys kissing is: depends on why they're kissing.

yeeaah.. that was fun.

i haven't updated for a while.

the other day i was hanging out with chase, gene, clark, tad, holly, & alison & i got my elbow slammed in clark's 2 seater stingray door. alison was on my lap & i was trying to get situated & she accidentally shut the door on my arm.. it hurt(s) really really bad.. i thought she busted it at first, i almost cried. but chase kissed it.. so it's not so bad. but i keep hitting it on shit, it really sucks. i'm such a klutz. oh well.. then i went & like slammed myself back into a jet tonight in cody's hot tub. so i get a bruise now on my lower back.. yep yay.

today i finally went shopping, a job well done. 5 t-shirts, 3 bras, 1 hoodie, 3 pairs of jeans. finally lol. i went with karlie.. haha we got apps to spencer's in the mall, that would be a pretty fun job actually.. then we went to applebee's & chase came & finished our food, then we went to cody's & went hot tubbin' & swimming.. it was cool. fun times. i had to go in my clothes though to make it look like i didn't intend on going in 'cause my mom said i couldn't get in the water. she also told me to be home by 10.30.. so we left at 10.30 & i told her i got thrown in & that's why i was late, 'cause it happened right before we had to leave & then i had to dry off & stuff.. yep, so i didn't get in trouble for that. then she called after like 15 min & told me it'd been half an hour.. i was like 'ah, no mom. see you in a few, bye.' & she was like 'whatever kayla, don't expect to do anything tomorrow.' i was like 'oke mom, we'll talk about it later, bye bye.' & then i got home & all was fine.. whatever, she's such a drunk fuck.

& my dad's over at my aunt & uncle's 'cause my aunt deb & uncle phil are in town from AZ, so that's cool. he'll come home drunk as fuck too. whatever works i s'pose.. mmhm.

today chase had a better day than he seems to be having lately.. it's gotten to the point where i've begun to feel like a nuisance.. like i don't want to call or be around 'cause i feel like i'm intruding. not like he doesn't want me there.. just like he's too tired & only wants to sleep. which is totally fine with me ((if we're together & just sleep)).. it just never happens. haha.. he's mad 'cause he hurt his foot in football & can't play.. so they don't know how good he is.. which means they don't know that he's better than the dude that got his position. soo now he can't play varsity & he's really mad. i would be too though, i mean shit, sophmore on varsity? daamnn! but i think he'll be okay.. he's still playing eventhough his foot's hurt really bad. like all the ligaments/tendons are torn/stretched, i don't know, but he's playing anyways. i think he should just stop & let it heal.. but i know he won't. he's too macho for that lol. but yeah, it was nice to have him seem to want me around.. he called at 12.48 this morning/afternoon & told me he had to work.. then called right after work & told me he was going to wash his car, do laundry, feed the fish & dog, let her out, then shower & change, & then give me a call & i was supposed to find something to do. soo then i told him about the hot tubin' thing & we decided to do that once we were in the parking lot. then we went to cody's & were in the pool & he seemed to really want to be with me there too. i really liked it, made me feel great. then he dunked me. damnit all.. took all my makeup off & made me look bad lol.. his fault though. so then we got out & he went with me so i could change in the van 'cause my stuff was still in there.. but then i didn't get in the van & i just chaned outside, god i hope nobody saw.. haha it was funny, he was like 'god damn you're so hott!' & i was like 'haha almost huh?' & he was like 'yeah right.. i'm gunna get a fucking hard on in a parking lot kayla.' & i was like 'well, you do whatcha' gotta do hun!' it was great lol.. then later in the parking lot the goodbyes weren't rushed & he actually seemed to want to stay with me.. only he was tired. but the kissing was amazing.. like.. the really really really great kind.. the kind you can feel in your bones. yes. ah, i love him.

i passed the buddy ring on to karlie today 'cause me & my dad got my other gold ring back. chase was happy about that. the day we got my ring back was also the same night that i left the house when my parents wouldn't let me go anywhere.. like even the estelline guys were in town & they wouldn't let me go. soo i took off & then my mom called & made me call chase so i wasn't out alone, so i called him & told him he didn't have to come & get me, i was just going to go for a walk but i'd tell my mom he had come anyways.. but he decided to come get me so i wasn't out alone. so i hung out at his house for the night. we killed curfew too. i got home at 11.25 or something.. parentals didn't like that.. but i didn't get in trouble either, so oh well.

yup.. so alison's out at her gparents for the next week or so, anna's in omaha i think, shopping spree.. & karlie's here & i don't know where nicole is. that's about all i know. i guess i might have to go to the lake while my aunt & uncle are here 'cause they're only spending one night in town & then going up there. i told chase that & he was like 'well that's a shame 'cause i can't go.. i've got football everyday & then work.' & i was like 'god damnit.. i don't want to go!' so yeah, hopefully i won't have to.

haha, the other night after we were all hanging out with the guys & whatnot, i drove alison's car from her house to mine & then we got to go out at like 10.30 iN tHE tRUCK!! lol & we went & got logan, & then we went to denny's & then went & dropped logan off & then we drove around until 12.10 & then logan snuck over here & we hung out & watched liar liar, alison wrote on my boob.. 'chase was here' ((how true!)) & had a good 'ol time.. i was so hyper, i swear. then he left 'round 4.30/5 & i got to sleep at like 6.. & then we got up at like 10.15 & went & got breakfast at mcd's before we even had makeup on or had gotten ready in any way.. & chase told me he didn't have to work 'til 11 so i figured i was safe 'til at least 10.45 & we were going to be out of there by then anyways.. but ooooh no, he was working. & he came to the window. yeah.. i took my glasses off so i didn't look that horrible in my pink panther pants & white tank. godDDd. oh well though, that was fun anyways haha. then we went to the mall.. yep. then she had to leave me to go to work at 3 & then go to her gparents.

also; new discovery: a happy meal has 550 calories! WOOOOOWWW. that's a lot. i decided to try to not eat out unless it's at a sit-down place. that way i won't get fat like i feel like i'm getting. yep. i gotta do something.. you go from hardly eating anything, sometimes not at all, to eating normally 'cause you promised your boy.. it's hard to do. but i guess i weigh 103 again.. puts me at 100ish without clothes. eh.. saddddd... & the worst part: i hate that i hate it.

ben's profile is charming: "suck a cock yo"

buttttt.. i'm freezing & full & nobody's on, so i'm going to go get ready for bed & go to sleep. i'll talk to yall later, bye bye!

xoxo; kayla

b o r e d ! e v e r y t h i n g ' s s o s l o w !


well, i was going to update & tell about yesterday & go into no fun detail with that, but i won't. to sum it up: went & hung out with chase who was in a bad mood & we went to his house then on the way home he got mad at me 'cause i wouldn't say which car i thought was hotter, a malibu or a fiero. & so i was all sad & went to my room & thought about it for like half an hour & then decided that there was no way he was really that mad about such a thing, so i waited 'til he called & he had calmed down & i could tell he felt bad & all of that, so we worked things out.. then that was that. i love him.

then today he had football & had to get up at like 6 in the morning & it went until 1, then he got online & showered & called & went to sleep & now someone's on their comp & has been idle for an hour & 11 min lol.. good to know.

don't know what karlie's doing today, alison's just kinda bummin' i guess, i'm not sure.. & nicole just got on, i should ask her about my tank top she's had since school got out.

but here's a survey thing i saw in joetta's journal & thought i'd do 'cause i don't feel like typing otherwise..


1. Kissed your cousin: No.
2. Ran away: i packed a bag, but my dad would've called the cops.. it wouldn't have been worth it.
3. Pictured your crush naked: Yep.
4. Skipped school: i don't think i've 'skipped' but i've faked out..
5. Broken someone's heart: i don't think so.. not intentionally anyways.
6. Been in love: ongoing.
7. Cried when someone died: yeah
8. Wanted someone you knew you couldn't have: ha.. oh yeah.
9. Broken a bone: only a hairline fracture.. damn bathroom stalls are hard; don't kick 'em.
10. Done something embarrassing: all the time..
WHAT HAPPENED TO NUMBER 11?
12. Cried in school: Yeah..

WHICH IS BETTER

13. Coke or Pepsi: no contest; coke.
14. Sprite or 7UP: Sprite
15. Girls or Guys: Guys!
16. Flowers or Candy: Flowers
17. Scruff or Clean shaved: haha what are we talking about?
18. Blondes or Brunettes: either or
19. Bitchy or Slutty: if i feel like getting my ass kicked, bitchy.. but slutty chicks can at least be nice.
20. Tall or Short: tall i 'spose
21. Pants or Shorts: Pants by far
22. Night or Day: Night

WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX

23. What do you notice first: smile & eyes, everything else just kinda follows..
24. Last person you slow danced with: um.. ben i think, maybe jacob tesch? lol
25. Worst Question To Ask You: um.. something about chase 'cause then i won't shut up..

The last time you...
26. Showered: Like 5 hours ago..
27. Stepped outside: Yesterday.
28. Had Sex: oh you know, a few min ago.
29. Romantic memory: yesterday.. i won't share.
30. Your Good Luck Charm: chase, bearry, my jewlery
31. Person You Hate Most: i dunno, depends on the day.. sometimes it's more or less.
32. Best Thing That Has Happened: Chase.
33. On your desk: ahh.. a bunch of shit, paper, pens, remote, phone, microphone, scanner, camera that i don't know how to work, speakers, printer, cd's, giftcard to b&n, my glasses, candy bar, mail, magazines, a book, calc. cover, grad party invite, oreo's, & clark's ID from last year all broken up & put back together.
34. Picture on your desktop: 'deeper yet, further still' from www.kurthalsey.com

FAVORITE...

35. Color: Pink, shades of blue and green, black, grey.
36. Movie: too many to list..
37. Artist or band: also too many to list..
38. Car: i just want one. one that's not a box & is pretty.
39. Ice Cream: depends on the mood.
41. Breakfast Food: um.. bacon with syrup.

WHO...

42. Makes you laugh the most: Everyone
43. Makes you smile: most of my friends
44. Can make you feel better no matter what: most of my friends
45. Has A Crush On You: haha.. more than a crush, chase.
46. Do You Have A Crush On Someone: more than a crush, chase.
47. Who Has it easier guys or girls?: well girls have got it really rough, but guys have to put up with us..
48. Gives you A Funny Feeling When You See Them: haha funny feeling? defineage.

YOU EVER...

49. Sit by the phone waiting for a phone call all night: not so much..
50. Save AIM conversations: Sometimes
61. Save E-mails: Not usually, i don't really get any that i'd want to save.
52. Forward secret E-mails: secret e-mails? huh?
53. Wish you were someone else: i wish things about me were different, but i know i've got chase & my friends & somedays my family, so i'm as lucky as they get.
54. Wish you were a member of the opposite sex: No!
55. Wear perfume: Yeah, well body spray usually..
56. Kiss: usually everday
57. Cuddle: usually everyday
58. Go online for longer than eight hours at a time: haha.. only 'cause i'm on overnight, but usually i'm only on for a few hours straight max.

HAVE YOU EVER...

59. Fallen for your best friend?: haha i fell, then he became my best friend.
60. Made out with JUST a friend?: um.. nope.
61. Kissed two people in the same day?: Nope
62. Had sex with two different people in the same day?: hahaha no.
63. Been rejected: um.. how so?
64. Been in love?: Yes, still am.
65. Been in lust?: Yeah, just suppose i didn't know it.
66. Used someone?: Never.
67. Been used?: Yes.
68. Cheated on someone?: no.
69. Been cheated on?: yes.. sadly.
70. Been kissed?: Yep Ü
71. Done something you regret?: Yeah

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...

72. You touched?: touched in which way?
73. You talked to?: My mom
74. You hugged?: chase i hope.. maybe a parent.
75. You instant messaged?: alison
76. You kissed?: chase
77. You yelled at?: My mom
78. You thought about?: chase
79. Who text messaged you?: i got an IM fwded to my telle & it was from logan?
80. Who broke your heart?: chase.. but he fixed it too.. so it doesn't count anymore
81. Who told you they loved u?: chase Ü.. or my mom..

DO YOU...

82. Color your hair?: no
83. Have tattoos?: No
84. Have piercings?: 2 but i think they're closed..
85. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: yep!
86. Own a webcam?: Yeah, i just gotta find out how it works..
87. Own a thong?: a good few, yeah
88. Ever get off the damn computer?: Yeah
89. Sprechen Sie Deutsch?: haha hardly.
90. Habla espanol?: Mas o menos, dos anos?
91. Quack?: oh yes. look at me go.

HAVE YOU / DO YOU / ARE YOU...

92. Stolen anything?: No
93. Smoke?: no
94. Schizophrenic?: No
95. Obsessive?: sometimes.. haha
96. Compulsive?: maybe
97. Obsessive compulsive?: I dont think so
98. Panic?: sometimes
99. Anxiety?: I dont think so, maybe
100. Depressed?: Ocassionally


Name: Kayla
Nicknames: joe, honey bunches, hippo, jane.. i duno
Eyes: brown
Height: 5'4"?
Siblings: none
Hair color: brownish.. ash brown. ugly.
Sex Before Marriage? not as big as it used to be.. if it's worth it to you, if it's right..
Been so drunk you threw up? Nope.. never.
Wanted to hook up with a friend: haha, wow..
Cried during a Flick: nope
Had a crush on a teacher: i've answered this like 20 times in previous surveys.
Prank called someone: haha yeah.. fun stuff.
been on stage: Yeah, terrifying.. but fun.
Shampoo: Pantinene Pro V, pert plus
Body wash: I dunno what it's called.
Summer/Winter: Summer
Union or Confederate: uh.. i forgot what's what..
Like anyone as more than friends: ya think?

-----IN THE LAST 2 Weeks------------

Cried: Yes
Cut your hair: No
Worn a skirt: hahaha.. no.
Been mean: Yeah
Been sarcastic: ME? sarcastic?! NNnneevvvverrr..
Talked to someone you have a crush on?: again, it's MoRe than a crush.
Missed someone/something: anytime we're not apart.. & yes.
Hugged someone: Yeah
Fought with your parents: haha like you'd not believe.
Laughed until you cried: Yeah, coke icey's i tell ya..
Played Truth or Dare: Nope
Read a book for fun: yeah.. well not all of it, but yeah.

-------Do you believe in.....--------

God: possibly.
Love: Yes
The Big Bang Theory: I dunno what that is..
Heaven/Hell: Sure

--random questions --


What is your full name? boogey monster.
Whats the story behind your name?: mis padres thought it was original & cute.. nice going, eh?

Backstreet Boys or N Sync?: BSB if i must.

What was the the last thing that you said online? 'ttyl lylas'

What is right next to you?: a window.. or the table..

What is your favorite state(s)?: not this one.

How many buddies do you have on your list: 200

What did you do last night?: went to chase's

What's the best thing that you find attractive about the opposite sex?: Personality

Favorite hair color in the opposite sex : Doesn't matter

Pizza or ice cream?: Pizza, i think i live off of it.

What do you want to be when you grow up? a teacher i believe, elementary.

Are you too shy to ask someone out?: haha i usually don't have to.. probably.

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?: duno.. don't think about it really.

Do you consider cheerleading a sport?: sure.. if you really want it to be.

i'm out, going with alison & karlie, lots of love

xoxo; kayla

r a n d o m o s i t y !

i'm in a slightly better mood after the last entry.. but this was fun & random, so i'm throwing it in here.

studly-- (2:29:54 AM): ummmmm sweet yellow light
HiPpO HuN o7 (2:30:02 AM): hm?
studly-- (2:30:14 AM): idk monkeys
HiPpO HuN o7 (2:30:23 AM): turtles & unicorns
studly-- (2:30:40 AM): purple and brown
HiPpO HuN o7 (2:30:47 AM): thunder thighs
studly-- (2:30:56 AM): tig ol bitties
HiPpO HuN o7 (2:31:23 AM): puppy slober on my toe.
studly-- (2:32:36 AM): cheese in sour cream
HiPpO HuN o7 (2:33:46 AM): pickled duck teeth
HiPpO HuN o7 (2:33:51 AM): ducks don't have teeth.
HiPpO HuN o7 (2:35:09 AM): poptart whores & mini pizzas.
studly-- (2:38:44 AM): i lose

that was fun. woohoo..

alison's got a plan. i hope it works out.

kayla misses chase. kayla loves chase a lot.. bunches & much more.

kayla's about to get grounded & is going to bed. g'night yall, sweetest dreams*

xoxo; kayla