:: 2004 17 April :: 12.00 pm
:: Mood: non-happy

deep thoughts
So, the Bible says that God wont give you more than you can handle. Right?

Definately getting really close to all I can handle. So much stuff is going on. And right now no one knows all of it but me. Mal knows some, John knows some, Buck knows some, 'mystery man' knows some, Erik knows lots... but that doesnt matter.

Just am feeling so stressed about everything and I think its making me not me. And I dont want to be not me. The me I want to be is the one that used to smile lots, not cry so much, have fun all the time.... Thats what I want back again. And I'm not exactly sure where I can find it.

Notice I said where, not with who.

Well, I'm looking, and I hope that I find it quick. Because pretty soon I've decided to just not care anymore. Then with the not caring comes a bunch of lectures from friends saying that I did stupid things. Then after the lectures comes the feeling guilty. And thats never good.

But none the less, the not caring, its almost here...

gimmie a ring

:: 2004 16 April :: 12.40 am
:: Mood: flirty

mashugana
lol yeah.

Had a fun conversation with Mal today. Apparently my journal has sparked some conversation... thought... questions. And all I have to say to that is... HA! I like keeping my secrets because I am not in an open couch. And now that I have said this, this secret is perminately exempt from all future open couches. muahahahaha!

On another note... lol... no I'm not gonna go there either. DANG there are so many things that I just dont wanna write in here... journals were way cooler when I didnt know people read them.

I will say this much... there are some things that need to happen... and I need to make them happen.

PACKING YOU SICKO!

Not excited to move out. Yet very excited to be done with school. OOOO the crazy emotions around move out.

Ok I'm done. Love ya all. Dont worry. Write in your journal!

gimmie a ring

:: 2004 15 April :: 3.43 pm
:: Mood: tired

hmmm
Been dancin a lot. That seriously cuts into the journal writing, thought thinking time... and sleep time. I'm so tired. I havent really slept since this whole week started.

My foot hurts too. So long as I'm bitching I might as well do it right. My foot has a really ouchy blister on it. Then my shoes popped it, then scrapped it. And now it just plain ole hurts!

Enough about that. Filled out paper work for my job this morning. I'm offically a PCS/Aide. Meaning I do everything.

Lotsa thinky thoughts, lotsa fun, lotsa no fun. I'm not telling any of you about any of em. lol. good luck

COME SEE ME DANCE!

gimmie a ring

:: 2004 13 April :: 7.21 pm
:: Mood: very tired

At work
First off let me put in a little advertisment:

GVSU DANCE TROUPE
FRIDAY THE 16TH AT 8:00
SATURDAY THE 17TH AT 7:00
$2 STUDENT ID. LIKE $4 IF NO ID
ZELAND HIGH SCHOOL... COME WATCH

If I'm lucky I'll have people there. So far its looking like its just the rents. John maybe, but I'm not counting on it, though I would love for him to come see it.... ok well, everyone should come, its fun, bring a friend

Ok so I'm at work, just woke up, kinda took a nap on my psych homework... good thing no one wanted me to make them a bulliten board. I'm so tired and have such a long night ahead of me... dance till wee hours of morning, then I have a paper to write... BLAH!

Ok, lotsa crazy thoughts, lotsa things have happened that no one knows about. Lots of crazy thoughts... dont wanna write them in here for fear of death by people who read this. None of them are horrible, so dont go to the extreme and think I'm sleeping with millions, doing drugs, or selling my kidney.... thats all next week. lol. Just thinky stuff. And weirdo actions. Actions due to the thinky stuff. DAH I can feel you all thinking the worst... STOP! Not that bad... I promise

Stressed about exams. They are comin up faster than I thought. And Chem... thats a beast. I dont know what to do about it... I really dont know what to do. I think she said that its mostly multiple choice... thats nice. But I'm sure I'll manage to fail that too. I just wanna pass Chem... pass it and be done. Psych has me a little worried too. Hmmmm... better start this studying stuff... OH WAIT I HAVE NO TIME!

Lotsa stress, lots of exams, lots of work, little sleep... makes for a grumpy Mica... hope I havent been too grumpy to yall... I dont think so yet... but who knows.

DAH the thoughts... I need a super private journal just for times like these... but I dont have $15 to make one... hmm gotta find $2 too. Maybe from Mal... she owes me, I could use her money for it, somehow even though I'm paying for it, it doesnt feel like it. lol

Ok half hour left of work... no more naps!

1 message | gimmie a ring

:: 2004 9 April :: 8.51 am
:: Mood: sleepy

hola
Why am I the only one who writes in my journal? Its not fair that people can read my thoughts but I cant read theirs.... grrrr

Ok time for class. I'll try this again later.

2 messages | gimmie a ring