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2003 9 September :: 12.13 am
:: Mood: cynical
who knows
There is just so much stuff going on... people are vacationing and thinking and crying. And I just start to wonder why it all happens at the same time. Why should I be all thinky and cry-y when Mal and Mike are. I live with Mal, true, but that shouldnt have THAT much of an effect on me. But I guess it does. Everything is getting me mad. I cry about little stupid things. I just dont know. Maybe it has nothing to do with Mal or Mike and its just me. I dont even know how to put it into words. Things are just different with me right now. And its not a good different. Its like a I just wanna lay in bed all day different. Like I'm afraid of doing anything that will piss off John yet I know that somethings that I do will piss him off no matter what. Family is crazy. School is WAY crazy. I dont know how to juggle John and school yet. I have so much reading to do but I want to talk to him and if I dont talk to him then he thinks I've left him. But I dont know I'll figure it out. I'll figure everything out and I will make everyone happy. Maybe I'll sleep now and then just not sleep till next week sometime. Then i have an actual 24hours to get everything done in. I think I am just so stressed that I am just starting to have it all catch up. I just dont know everything is just pileing up and I dont deal well with it and even now trying to say it I start to cry and then I just feel stupid because who cries because she cant think straight. I dont know. Its stupid. Even now why am I writing when I have homework. I'll stop. who knows. This writing didnt help... maybe I need to know what to say.
gimmie a ring |
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2003 8 September :: 3.29 pm
:: Mood: artistic
fun mood huh. not true though
Life at the Grand Valley home is well.... kinda. Mike was mean to Mal and thats just stupid cuz boys shouldnt do that... yeah John you arent allowed to be mean either.
Side note... I really felt like chips and the only ones here are Johns Jalapeno ones and they are burning my mouth... I just cant handle it... bad john for leaving such hot chips! LOL JK. I love you... eating them is like kissing you! :-)
1 message |
gimmie a ring |
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2003 4 September :: 11.20 pm
I'm wrong and I'm sorry. I love you John why cant we just be happy?
gimmie a ring |
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2003 4 September :: 10.53 pm
Dont let go
gimmie a ring |
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2003 4 September :: 1.42 pm
:: Mood: happy
I'm Happy today
Today didnt turn out to be as stressful as I thought. I think it is all because of the study party last night. It helps to be prepared for the next day... it makes life nice. Ok I think thats all for today. Nice and short.... oh yeah no journal entry is complete without.. I LOVE YOU JOHN!
gimmie a ring |