upchuck
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2004 9 December :: 9.18pm
:: Mood: I'm Done
:: Music: "Nothing Lasts Forever"
I'm Done
I'm done. I am just plain done. I am done with all of it. I am done with my professor being a bitch and giving me a 79 on a very good paper. I am done with the entire situation. In a week I will be done with the semester. I'm just done. And I'm done with her. I don't know what else to do. I wake up in the morning and I think about her and I think about ways to improve the situation. But then all I can say is that I am done. I'm not sure things will ever be the same. I'm done.
gimmie a ring
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Upchuck
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2004 3 December :: 1.58am
Okay Andy, how does this sound:
Saturday December 4
SKELLETONES
Cold Plymouth, Midnight Radio, I Must Have, Vigilantes.
That's all I've got so far. $3 cover.
gimmie a ring
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upchuck
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2004 1 December :: 10.37pm
Andy's list of facts have clued me into one important thing about guys like us. Our innoncence is not of our own choosing. If we had a choice, we would most likely wish to be engaged in all levels of debauchery. But some how, some where inside of us is this innate need to be the way we are. And it is annoying as all hell.
gimmie a ring
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upchuck
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2004 30 November :: 5.14pm
So, now I have this over arching sense that everything is going to be alright. Am I still pissed off? Well, yeah. But it's inside now and not such an issue. Everytime I think about it I don't want to cry. So I guess that's good. Whether she comes back to me or not is something I've thought about, but I really shouldn't. Only time will tell, and that is her perogative. Like I said, I'm still pissed off, but at least I know now that everything will be okay.
gimmie a ring
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upchuck
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2004 29 November :: 7.57pm
The more I think about it, the more pissed off I get. She made me the way she doesn't want me to be now. She made me that way. Did I go to church before her? No. I was ready to do just about anything before she came along. And then she came along and encouraged me to be the way I am. And now she says she doesn't want that. Or rather that I can't be in that part of her life because I'm not that kind of person. She doesn't realize that I hate this part of me. I hate the part of me that is scared to ever do anything. To be honest, I can't understand why people do. perfectly normal people talk about it all the time and it doesn't seem to effect them. Why can't I be like that? Why am I internalizing this? I don't know. It's because that is what i do. I have to get this out before I start writing because it really sucks that I feel this way. I still don't know if I could ever take her back after what she said. I guess we'll have to wait and see.
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gimmie a ring
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