Well this is getting really pathetic
I don't think I've updated this much since I was in high school.

The more and more I think about it the more it becomes true. Somt of those people who I know who profess faith really do not feel it. I have to admit, I was. I didn't have some great revelation where all the sudden everything was clear and I could feel God's love, but I do know it's there. That's what I really wonder about sometime. Do you really feel it? Do you know it's there? It's almost to the point where it's infathomable to me to not know. Or how to live without it.

I'm playing at Festival in GR this weekend. Hopefully everything works out well. Last time I was up on stage, my stage presence was next to nothing. I was so focused on not screwing up that I didn't enjoy myself. Now I know I will. There are just some things that you have to keep focused on, then tere are other times where you just have to constantly do until you feel comfortable doing them. I think being on stage is one of those. Of course probably sex is as well.

I'm looking two ways at this summer. I think it's giong to be a great summer and I will learn alot about myself. Life never stays the same and I think it's time for me to move on with certain things. I think my job has got me to a certain point where there is nothing that could possibly change my mind on leaving. I've been there for two and a half years and everyday I hate going there. Not just because of what the job is. There are times where I actually enjoy my job. The only thing that keeps it interesting anymore is the people I work with, but not even that. Now I'm getting to the point where I feel like a relic. When we hired people this spring they seemed to have some semblence of respect for people who had been there longer, but this new group does not. There's also nothing new for me to learn. It's a duality that has always made me mad. I know enough to be a manager, but a retarded person could get hired and still have exactly the same status as I do on paper. When they don't need a good person because other good people are working, they treat you like crap, just to put you into your place. Just to remind you that you could be replaced at a moments notice. I don't know. I am very convinced that this time I really am burnt out.

Good advice that I heard once at the end of the song, but it strikes good for everything in life, and that is "end on the hopeful note" so I will do that.

I am okay with being alone. Tomorrow is another day. Hell, two years without piqueing a girls interest, then I find out about two in one day. For the last month, nothing can get better than that, until the next best thing comes along.

gimmie a ring