Upchuck
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2004 22 May :: 12.40am
:: Mood: pissed off
:: Music: "Crazy On You" Heart
You never know when you could explode
I just feel like do something. Anything to relieve this anger I feel. It's just anger, pure anger and I do not know what causes it. I'm pissed because I can't get a hold of KIM and I really wanted to spend time with her tonight. Then I'm pissed that the thoughts keep creeping in. It makes me angry and I know if I were to give into it I would scare myself. If I could only do something.
gimmie a ring
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Upchuck
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2004 21 May :: 3.27pm
:: Mood: grumpy
:: Music: Michelle Branch and Santana "Game of Love"
Yesterday
I was grumpy yesterday, and I am today. For many reasons, none of them too important.
Things at work aren't going the way I'd like. I need a new job, but I just feel incapable of getting to a better one.
I've wanted to get the grass cut up at the lake, but the stupid rain. I didn't get to it until Monday this week, and then again today. I sat around all day yesterday waiting for it to dry out.
I wrote an article for the Post about the softball sweep of EGR Wednesday. We're doing good this season. I'm still mad about the rain. We were supposed to play Lowell last Friday, but had to rescedule for today, then cancel and reschedule for Monday. We're 17-10. All I know is that I'm going to cry when this season ends because it's been such a good one.
Things in a ceratin part of my life are going well. Well as I could guess they should be. She's hard to read, and with my pension for making a mountain out of a mole hill, things can get dicey. I can't help but wonder sometimes if previous relationships have irreversibly damaged me. Well, no, I can't help but wonder and worry anyways. Calm down, breathe. Everything will be okay. Breathe. Romance may not be my ticket, but who knows what the future holds.
gimmie a ring
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Upchuck
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2004 14 May :: 4.04pm
:: Mood: pathetic
:: Music: "Keep On The Sunnyside" The White Family Hoedown
Falling
This is getting almost riduculous. You can all call me crodgy and horrible but I hate falling for someone. I hate seeing people who are in love and I hate doing it myself. Things just get weird, and you do stupid things. And you begin to worry about stupid stuff, like what if she reads this?
What I really mean is, is that it's great. Being stupid is great. No, that's not what I'm saying.
As much of a hopeless romantic that I tend to be I always find the act of falling for someone quite distasteful. I mean, nothing should have the power to pull you out of a bad mood instantly. It's getting almost comical for me though.
She wasn't even there today. Physically, she was not even close to me, but she was still able to brighten my day. It sucks! I like being in a bad mood. All I had to do was see her name when I put chili's on the stove today, and it was like an instantaneous smile. I swear, if someone had been with me in the cooler when I saw thos today they would have thought I was absolutely going insane. Well, they think that anyway, not much I can do about that I guess. It's just ridiculous. I wish there were a way just to skip this part of it all and get into the steady type.
Not to say I'm totally lost yet. I know I'm falling for her. While I'm not quite sure why I hate it so much, I don't think I would prefer something else. Whether I keep falling is another question. I haven't quite hit the point where I feel like I could say that too her, but if this keeps up then, it's going to happen.
gimmie a ring
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Upchuck
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2004 7 May :: 1.01pm
:: Mood: enthralled
:: Music: "Livin' On a Prayer" Bon Jovi
Really Really Really tired
It just keeps getting better. Six straight nights we've spent time together and I didn't think that was possible. Going for seven tonight and then we'll end our streak on Saturday, guaranteed. No body wants to know what's been going on. Well, I think the only one that does is Connie. Last Saturday night was odd. Of course, the last week has been odd in itself.
For all of you who are out there wondering, which probably isn't many of you, we're taking this slow. I don't want to mess anything up. I've learned my lesson. Take things slow and it reduces the chance of making a mistake. And I really don't want to mess this up.
And I think really what is making me tired is the fact that I am not sure when I'm going to sleep again. I know I definitely will after I get out of work Saturday night (Sunday morning) but in between now and that time I have no idea. This could get slightly interesting. You all think I'm strange now, wait until I don't sleep. Of course then again, I may be fine. Who knows?
1 message |
gimmie a ring
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cshawks2003
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2004 4 May :: 1.27pm
:: Mood: flaming ;)
:: Music: A quien le importa~~Thalia
Too much typing
Hey guys...I haven't written in a while...but what the hell...might as well start again...especially now that I donated my 2 bucks to keep my account active lol.
A lot has been going on. I recently finished my first year of college...yay! I am working at Discount Tire Co. on Plainfield...(let me know if you need new tires/wheels :) ).
I just got a scholarship for $5,000 a year that is renewable every year :) I am soooo happy about that. It will shure make a dent in my college tuition bill.
There has been a lot of drama in my life since my last...and first entry...I can't really talk too much about it right now because it will give away some secrets I have been hiding to many ppl...especially Cedar people...I have a new special person in my life right now :) I'll talk more about that later....if anyone cares lol. I have had one of my friends loose his best friend in a car accident...he is really depressed now...and I found out that he has hiv too which sucks. I have been doin a lot of clubbin lately and have met soooo many new people. It is really cool. Yes there were a couple occasions where I kinda got freaky with some of them, but thats another story...
I guess that's about it now. I am tryin to merge all my yahoo address book, msn address book and address book on my phone into palm desktop to sync w/ my palm....since I can't just copy and paste it is a lot of typing *sigh*...oh well time to go...I got a friend I need to talk to right now...
Cya all lata :)
Allen
2 messages |
gimmie a ring
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