Upchuck
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2004 16 April :: 9.27am
:: Mood: apathetic
:: Music: "Track 4" - All; I think it's Pirates of the Carribean that my sister was listening to
Dream
I had a very strange dream last night. I'm not sure what it means. It had religious overtones so I'm not exactly sure where it came from either. It was very strange and I'm not sure what it means.
gimmie a ring
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Upchuck
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2004 6 April :: 6.33pm
:: Mood: pissed off
Woohu, The Future
Andy, please link to my journal or post some of this.
Don't complain about paying for things. You are lucky that Woohu is around. Unless you are already a contributing member of Woohu, you really do not have the right to talk. I have been a paying member for more than two years. Personally, I feel I am doing something to support something I care about and I need. So all of you stop sniveling, get off your butts, earn some money. Walk down the road, find yourself some pop cans. 20 cans makes $2 in Michigan. Just figure something out to keep Woohu going. It takes us all to contribute a little to keep this going. Just remember, this isn't just Andy's site. Those of us who have been here for a long time, and even those who haven't, have helped make this place what it is. This is a community, what can you do?
7 messages |
gimmie a ring
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2004 5 April :: 9.14pm
:: Mood: doot doot do, doot doot do
:: Music: "Strawberry Wine" Deanna Carter
Alas My Transgressions Forgotten
Yes, it's that time again. Time for me to pbe philosophical about my life. This of course will invariably lead me to have a hopeless on some girl close to me that will never, ever know how I feel about her. Not that I have anyone in mind just yet.
Well I have a rough few weeks ahead of me. I know my grades won't be turning out like I would like them. I'm just considering what it would be like for someone who does not know they belong there. I guess the only reason that I am still in school is because I know I belong there. That's a new feeling for me. I'm not doubting that place I am in the world as I do on a regular basis with everything else.
My title for this entry, it seems so long ago. A different person, but the same. I was just realizing when I saw Jen today that I haven't changed one bit in the last year. No, now I have to admit that I was too pighead to believe what was going on this time last year. I should have taken advantage of it instead of running from because I was afraid of getting hurt or hurting someone. Now, I'm left with nothing but my own thoughts of so many emotions unfulfilled.
gimmie a ring
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2004 22 March :: 11.52am
:: Mood: sore
:: Music: "Hey Jealousy"- Gin Blossoms
Thought
It's been wearing on me for awhile. Some people will just never comprehend. I want to say that we all operate on different planes of thought. It's all just very curious to me.
I could use examples from my own life, but I think it would piss people off. I'm not even sure they know that they do the things they do.
I know people who can't get past their base desires. They want to feel good and it doesn't matter. They do not know why they do the things they do. That is completely foreign to me. Not knowing why I am doing something. Everything must have a reason. In fact, it scares me to not know why I am doing something. Again, it goes back to me and not wanting to lose control.
There are also other people who are constantly flirting with the opposite sex. I don't think they know why they do it either. It's nice sometimes, but other times it's hard to understand. Why pretend you're interested in someone when you're really not? Do they ever think about that? Do they even attempt to understand how that makes other people feel? I've been told by people that I do think too much and I'm very conservative in my choices. I don't see a point in being with someone unless there is a serious future.
Then there are other people who just go through life to survive. I don't think they even have time to think on another plain. They are concerned with survival. I think that will be America's ultimate challenge, eliminate the need for people to worry about where the next meal is coming from. To me, that is the true measure of poverty. While I think about things like that, it does not consume. I hope it never does me, but it is a very real possibility that it will be part of life for the others mentioned above.
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gimmie a ring
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Upchuck
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2004 15 February :: 7.07pm
:: Mood: complacent
:: Music: "Crush"- Dave Matthews Band (Instrumental Bluegrass)
Housekeeping
Just wanted to do some house keeping things here and talk about my some issues I've been dealing with.
Rob: Were you talking about the essay or the sources?
I've been thinking about her again. I just have to keep pounding into my head that she does have a byofriend even though he is never around. No matter how much I respect her for what she is, and how similar we are, I have to remember that. I tried to think about what I would say to her if she confronted me because she thought I liked her. I'd tell her that I respect her for everything she has gone through. She certainly could have given up and let her life be gripped by what she's been through, but she hasn't. I also want to tell her that people like her and I are the future. I just hope she never gives that up for something else.
Work's been going well. I finally got my hours down to a managable level. We don't really have the people to keep everything going at a decent rate, but it will come. We hit this last year about htis time and I was pulling my hair out because fo the idiots I had to work with. I don't anymore, they all got trained or quit. Now, I learned not to care as much about what happens on my shift, as long as I'm not the one being blamed for it. We also are going through all this new procedure. I like, it's something new to learn. I think the problem last winter was that there was nothing new to learn, nothing to master. That's also why I'm gald I switched to days when I did. At the end of that I was getting bored too and I ended up walking out that one day. I guess if I can keep myself busy with new stuff, trying to improve upon my skills, then I'm happy.
I went to see Prof. Stark last week. The reason I didn't go sooner was that I felt I was behind in his class. I went the day the paper was due because that was the first time I had felt caught up. I had been behind in all my classes, but I had two papers due in other classes before his, so I did those first. When I told him all this he immeadiately assumed it was because I put his class on the bottom of my priorities. It's not true, while I guess it is. I don't think he liked that too much.
I think that's it. The rest of it is emmotional crap that I constantly subject myself too. I like to study, and let's just say I'm trying to find common themes and ways to rectify problems in romantic relationships based on my own personal experience.
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gimmie a ring
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