Crush
Today you crushed me
Without even knowing it
Setting me free
Knowing that it would never fit

I somehow turned a 6.5 hour shift today into a 10 hour shift. Of course that entailed my driving to Big Rapids. What better to get paid for than to drive because someone was too stupid to order enough of something.

I just bought this CD today. I think it's awesome. After what happened, if you couldn't tell, I needed to some anger relief. What better way to do it than to embrace the lyrics of Metallica on their new Album St. Anger? But it in stores today. No, really, I got it at Rite Aid. Except for the fact that all the f***'s and sh**'s are bleeped out, guess it isn't too bad. OF course I could never stand something like, oh, Everlast being edited. Mostly because he puts the best vocal harmonies on the words they would choose to edit out. Like in "What It's Like" if you've ever heard the unedited version, the word whore in the verse "she gets some static walkin' through the door, they call her a sinner, they call her a whore." There is an awesome vocal harmony on that word.

I feel like there will come a day when I need to confront myself and be honest about my life. I guess we all make choices and I have made mine, but it does feel isolated sometimes.

I especially like this new Metallica album because of the title track, St. Anger. He repeats the verse "I'm madly in anger with you." I completely understand that. I've been in anger with someone before. It's deeper than love. It is so far gone from love, and twisted. It's almost evil, evil love. Love that doesn't deserve to exist, and yet it holds on more than love itself.

I didn't realize that it would affect me quite this much. I honestly thought that there might be something there. I never even considered, even though I should have. She mentioned him, and it's a weight of a thousand pounds of feathers. Or a ball of wax that I was trying so hard to shape as it dripped down onto the roof of the cavern. Knowing full well that I couldn't control exactly where every bead of melting wax went, but confident that I could fashion it a way to my advantage. And with those two little words, is it one, or is it hyphenated? I'm not sure. This beautiful mold that I worked so hard for. I labored in my mind for hours upon end. Just trying to orchestrate everything just right. Trying to make that figure something her and I could both enjoy. Then with that one little phrase, it was released from it's hanging point. That one solitary grip that it had, that kept the despair from me, it let go. All I could do is watch it. Watch it fall to the floor of the cave, and shatter in a million pieces.

gimmie a ring