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2006 15 August :: 3.22pm
Something I realized today driving home. I was listening to NPR (yes, I'm a nerd, get over it), and they were talking about Cuban-Americans and the way that the Cuban-American community feels about Castro's illness. Anyway, none of that is important other than to say that the new Cuban Americans, the children of the original population, the ones who were wronged (or righted depending on your perspective) by the new regime, are somewhat apathetic and non-political. It made me realize the penance of our generation. The obesity, the sloth, the lack of work ethic, I realized where it all came from.
The penance of our generation is that we have lost all interest. We have given into the machinations of man, the construction of society. Without knowing anything else other than freedom, with no direct oppression to fight, we choose apathy in a society where no choice is a choice. When choosing not to participate is just as valid as participation. If we only do what we have to in order to get by, we'll be just fine mentality. No inspiration, just talking puppets. Now how to fix that? How do you inspire the uninspirable? How do we take control of our own destiny? It's a question that every generation has to address, we can't let the answer be silent like so many of our voices still remain.
gimmie a ring
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2006 15 August :: 3.08pm
:: Music: "Save Yourself" Sense Field
I've written factually. I've written from my heart. I've also written the crap of everyday life. But I've never written just to write. Just for the pure joy of putting thoughts on paper. For illustrating the great illusions (or delusions) of my mind. For once I'd like to do that, but I don't know how.
Sometimes I realize how much I've grown as a person over these five long years. Why five years? Well, it's easy for my to quantify. For almost five years now I have had the same job. What makes me so reflective you ask? (well, actually I ask, not because I want to know, I already know, but because I want you to know). No, a girl who I used to work with has reapplied for her job. So long ago it was. More than three years ago she left. Three years!!! Beyond making me shudder because I hate having worked there for so long, it is a reason to pause and think. I just think about how much I've grown in that five years.
Let's see. Five years ago, who was I? I know most of you know who I was. Have I changed? I'd like to think I have. Not in any of the important ways. I feel like I am remarkably more aware of the world. I feel more sure about myself now, but that is only momentary. That is a relatively new occurrence. I feel more breadth in my knowledge. I feel I know the system much better (what system you ask? The whole system, that thing underneath all of society that we call adulthood, I know the system much better). I feel more compassionate, but also more powerless. I have more faith in myself, but less faith in others. I have more faith in ordinary things than extraordinary things than I did five years ago. I feel less guilty, but I have more guilt. I know things that I shouldn't and don't know things that I should. Enough about me.
gimmie a ring
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2006 9 August :: 4.58pm
Updating is fun.
Okay, so we set a date. I'm not going to post it because if you want to know you'll have to work very hard to track me down. Admit it, I'm a difficult person to get a hold of.
I also now have a cell phone. A phone that I am not allowed to use. My number is also secret. So your all going to have to work to find out my secrets.
More updates later, I hope.
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gimmie a ring
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2006 24 July :: 10.00pm
So I'm sitting here at Mica's and we're looking for wedding music.
Today she listened to some of the classic songs, and she didn't like them. I too think the traditional stuff is just a little too stuffy for us. Does anyone have any good ideas on wedding music for the cermemony itself. We will be good on reception music, due to our unique and diverse musical taste.
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gimmie a ring
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upchuck
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2006 22 July :: 12.27am
So, I got rejected on that State Department exam thingy. Oh well. I thought it would be cool but I wasn't really counting on it.
On a happier note, I got a five out of five on my assignment for SS300. That's five percent because the prof works on a strict 100 point scale. I also got 21 out of 25 on my midterm. Not bad, expecially considering the calss average was a full letter grade worse (18 of 25). I guess that's all, now just one more job option closed.
Did I mention I was looking for a job? Oh yeah, I am, despite the fact I already have one. Want mine? Trust me, you don't want it.
gimmie a ring
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