The possibility that people who don't really know me well enough could be reading this journal.
That thought never even crossed my mind until a few months ago. But I do have to accept the fact that this may be the case. Perhaps people who I desire to make a good impression on could be reading this through multiple sources, although the link I have on facebook is what I am most concerned about.

You see, one of the people I met on the canoe trip just added me as a friend. And since the canoe trip was affiliated with Campus Ministry, and since my recent entries have included some, how shall we say, seedy things, it is time to think about these things.
Liz thought she was seeing a different side of me and she was right. That is a completely different side of me that never popped it's ugly head up until last February. Do I like it? I'm not sure yet. Really it's become a socializing method for me. And for anyone that might be concerned, I have gotten drunk enough to do some stupid stuff, but I have stuck to my guns. I haven't drank to the point of sickness, don't want to.
But anyways, yeah, okay. I want people to see the first side of me. I don't want people to see the different side of me because that very rarely has been me (although I do have to admit that the people who have met me the first time on that side of me are not the type of people that I'm looking for anything deep with). Does this make any sense at all?
I'm not sure. But there is a little insecurity inside me saying, "you are a bad person for what you do." It's not because it's a bad thing, but because people think it is.

Okay, this is getting to sound way too much like an addict defending their addiction. And since none of you have actually seen me in the aforementioned state, it doesn't matter. Of course, this could all be a little story about a boy who is struggling with this and has absolutely no basis in reality. I've been known to make things up from time to time. Perhaps to teach you kiddies a lesson so you will mend your evil ways.

Speaking of kiddies. I don't think there is a single person left on my friends list, except my sister, who is still in high school.

3 messages | gimmie a ring