collageof-frozenfear
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2004 17 January :: 4.52pm
:: Mood: blah
I love this movie =)
you're the virgin suicides. you're sad but pretty, and very, very dreamy.
take the which prettie movie are you? quiz, a product of the  slinkstercool community.
Don't Forget Me
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collageof-frozenfear
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2004 17 January :: 12.53pm
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: Iris-Goo Goo Dolls
...the days are going by so slow.
I just wish Tuesday would come. =(
Mom sold my blue bass. When the guy got home ... He called back and said that he found some of my poetry and stuff in there and wanted to know if I wanted it back. I really didn't want anybody seeing that stuff. I mean, not all of it was things I wrote but still ... Mom said she'd go by to pick it all up. Which means, she's gonna read it.
People are still calling about the guitars so I'll probably need to go take a shower n stuff before they all get here.
Until then, I'll just fill my journal up with stupid surveys from Bzoink...
Don't Forget Me
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collageof-frozenfear
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2004 16 January :: 11.06pm
:: Mood: blank
I haven't written in a while ... There's SO much going on....
I'm gonna be sort of brief about everything.
Moms an alcoholic ... thats about all there is to say about that.
Brandon's in jail =( He got suspendid from school for wearing blue ... Its "gang related" only, they never get onto anybody else! when he went back to school, some senior threw his shit everywhere so he walked out of the ISS room. His probation officer took him to Randall County. She said she might let him out Tuesday if he doesn't do one thing wrong but if he fucks up, hes in for a long time.
Last night, mom was drunk and was talking about suicide but never actually came out and said it. I caught her trying to get the gun cabinet open and she started crying some because she couldn't do it. But then she said she keeps hers loaded. She asked me if I would ever forgive her ...
I cried all night. I didn't even have anybody to talk to. My boyfriend is gone and my mom doesn't wanna be here. And one day, I'll lose her too.
It all started yesterday because Jerry started yelling because he had to do the dishes. He got in moms face and said she was a bad mom. She does EVERY fucking little thing for us. He had no right to say that. And then, when I tried to defend her, Jerry said that If I said one more word, he'd hit me and he wouldn't stop until i stopped moving. Wonderful brother, eh? And then earlier, he acted as if nothing happened at all.
He's an asshole ...
Ya know, earlier I was thinking that I'd like to see what it would be like with a girl. I mean, i've thought about it a whole bunch before but now its like, I'm really interested in it all. I love my boyfriend though, so I'm not gonna do anything within the near future.
I'll write later...
Don't Forget Me
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collageof-frozenfear
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2004 12 January :: 5.51pm
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: Vampire- Rob Zombie
I HAD a really long entry in here ealier but the stupid computer shut down and it allll got deleted so I guess I'll go through the shit all over again later.
Masochist
The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla
Don't Forget Me
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Collageof-Frozenfear
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2004 11 January :: 1.29pm
:: Mood: amused
Haha ... I thought this was pretty cool concidering I AM a Bass Player and I DO have a thing for the drummers ;)
Don't Forget Me
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Collageof-Frozenfear
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2004 11 January :: 1.11pm
:: Mood: indescribable
I woke up this morning feeling much better ... And then I went to the bathroom. So, now I'm in pain again! I can't even stand up without my legs shaking and even just sitting, I can't stop shaking either.
I lost another pound. A total of 20 altogether now. I need to lose 10 more to be where I was last year but I need to lose a shitload to be where I wanna be.
I took a shower because I thought it might make me feel better but it didn't. On the plus side, I do feel nice and clean!
Something I feel the need to complain about, My zippo is gone!!! I set it on the couch and SOMEBODY picked it up. I'm interested to know who. My first suspect- My Stepdad ...
Much Love
Me
Don't Forget Me
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CollageOf-FrozenFear
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2004 10 January :: 7.41pm
:: Mood: Homicidal
:: Music: Three Days Grace
UGH!
Well ... Here's the "unbelievably wonderful" evening I had.
First of all, the bladder infection hasn't really got much better. On the other hand, i lost an additional pound.
Secondly, I'm supposed to go see my boyfriend for that Bar-B-Q, right? WELL, his mom's fucking boyfriend asks for gass money AGAIN. We don't make Brandon give us gas money, Brandon's mom has borrowed about 100 dollars and never paid it back (after she said she would) and they still expect us to give them gas money because "money doesn't grow on trees"
NO SHIT!
Jesus Christ! UGH. So then ... We have my older brother, Jerry. Doesn't do shit around the house and doesn't bother with the chores he's supposed to do. Me and Taylor do ALL our chores before we do anything and then Jerry lies about the shit he DOESNT do. Then, He has the nerve to say "Yeah, well, I'm the only one that ever even cleans the bathroom ... and when you guys do, you do a shitty job"
I swear to god, If he ever even went NEAR the bathroom with cleaner, I'd die of shock.
And then! We take what happened NOW for instance! "Mom, how do you spell this??" *Jerry comes running in the living room screaming "god!"* and yells the spelling to me. Did I ask him??? ummm.. Not Hardly.
Another thing I feel the sudden need to complain about. Earlier ... Jerry is on our computer, While I was on I might add, and then whines that his computer is broken so he needs ours to talk to this girl that he really wants to be with (even though he has a fiance). Hmmmm, Well, let me think back through out the years.
Thinking: Our computer has been royally fucked millions of times. When we asked to use his ... he threw a fit and screamed at us.
He also uses OUR phone. When he ran ours dead, he'd plug another in ... run that one dead and use ours again. But if WE wanted to use the phone .... Oh god, that just couldn't happen. We might run it dead!
I really REALLY hate him ...
Brandon said some things to me that really hurt alot ... and then I come out of my room and I have to hear all of Jerry's shit.
I wasn't in the best mood before all that happened either because of all the court shit and the guilt I'm feeling.
And yet again, Jerry comes to start shit ...
Don't Forget Me
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CollageOf-FrozenFear
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2004 10 January :: 4.12pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: (I Hate) Everything about you- Three Days Grace
Better and Worse
Hmm ...
Well, I must say that I'm feeling somewhat better but I'm still stuck with the damn bladder infection. Mom said she thinks there may be more there but ... Who the hell knows?
Good News- I haven't been able to eat because I've been so sick ... So, I have now lost 19 pounds from my top weight.
Yay! =)
Brandon is having a Bar-B-Q at his house today. Mom didn't want me to go at first because "I need to get some rest" (This is true, but I'm sick of rest).
I have now come to the conclusion that BLADDER INFECTIONS are really the things that drive people to suicide.
Not depression ....
Much Love
Me
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Don't Forget Me
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