:)

:: 2003 31 July :: 3.52 pm

I got 2 compliments on my eyes at work today, which I'm somewhat used to. It's still nice to hear though. They said they were "Freakishly blue and nice." Yeah... but I was very surprised to get a compliment on my smile. I've never been complimented on my smile before...

I'm goin' to buy a new bathing suit today. Then I'm going to Neilee's, I think. Then tomorrow morning, CAMPING!!! YAY

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:: 2003 30 July :: 5.58 pm

My mom and I are driving to guitar lessons. Some guy cuts us off or something, I wasn't really paying attention, but then my mom starts complaining about him doing so. Then she waves to him. I said, "Why did you wave to him when he made you mad? Why didn't you flip him off?"
She said, "Because I'm showing that I'm an adult."
"Mom, that's only gonna make sense to you."
"I don't care. As long as I'm satisfied with myself."

I felt compelled to share this pointless story.

p.s. I guess work's not so bad. Not including the sun burn part.

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:: 2003 29 July :: 9.26 pm

So I'm taking up James on his offer of burning the CDs. (He wouldn't let me give him any CDs though, pfft.) Anyway, I have to remember allll those songs, so tell me a bunch of songs you know I like.

Heh, thanks for the help. (I'll be expecting at least 2 songs from you.)

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:: 2003 29 July :: 6.46 pm
:: Music: NONE still.

Oh man. Today is just getting more and more frustrating. Apparently someone was looking at porn on my computer, (my brother no doubt,) so I keep getting all these pop-ups of half-naked or completely naked woman in... unpleasant positions.

At least work was tolerable.

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:: 2003 29 July :: 5.28 pm
:: Music: NONE

I'm INFURIATED. I just want to break something! I had 400 songs in Kazaa... I get on the computer today and they're gone. NOTHING. Not one song is there. Like I never downloaded anything. Apparently my brother came over to get us more space on our computer and guess how he did that? OH MY GOD, I WANNA SMASH HIS FUCKING FACE.

guess I'm getting a little worked up over some music.. but GAAHHH.. you'd be too. Especially you Joe, with your 1,000 whatever songs.

My music.... *sniffles*.....gone... all gone....

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:: 2003 28 July :: 8.35 pm
:: Mood: Fine.

Tell me - how accurate is this to me?
You are quick to pick up information, Kate, and someone needs only explain something to you once for you to grasp the entire concept. Your questions are clear and concise, and no one will be able to accuse you of not paying attention to their words or actions. At the same time, you may be become too sensitive to the information around you. An overload of stimuli could eventually overwhelm you.

Your sign is that of intense Scorpio, the eighth sign of the zodiac, best characterized by passion, intensity, and emotionality. You are considered to be the most powerful and extreme sign of the zodiac, because you deal with the process of fundamental transformation on all levels.

Pluto is your ruler, Scorpio, and is known as the planet of permanent change and transformation. It is also associated with sex, the life cycle of birth and death, and regeneration.

You are the second of the three water signs. Pluto's influence makes you a charismatic, yet enigmatic person. While you may appear serene on the surface, you contain a magnetic intensity and powerfully hypnotic personality, belied only by a penetrating stare of deep intelligence.

Scorpio, you rule the eighth house of the chart, which is associated with other people's money, possessions, and values, as well as wealth received through inheritance; it also describes how and to what extent we commit, and bond with our partner, both on a sexual and emotional level. Yours is a fixed sign, which means that you are steadfast in adversity. Once you put your mind to something, you display self-discipline and staying power. You work stoically to achieve your goals - no matter the cost!

Dear Scorpio your strengths lie in your ability to confront and channel powerful emotions and profound insights. With your great tenacity and willpower, you are well suited to positions of authority, thanks also to your firm sense of responsibility, your strategical approaches, and your charismatic aura.

You do have weaknesses, too! You can be blunt and demanding, and at worst, you may become merciless, obsessive, and manipulative. You are known for your passive-aggressive behavior, which sometimes reveals your proclivity for martyrdom. You also run the risk of displaying destructive, and revengeful behavior, which confirms your radical all-or-nothing approach to life.

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:: 2003 28 July :: 8.26 pm
:: Music: Tool

Scorpio & Cancer
Two Water signs dominated by sensuality... their sex life is likely to be thrilling! But is that enough? Cancer and Scorpio share a common craving. Both want to settle down; they claim to be monogamous, and instinctively sense the other's emotions. Both are comfortable in the realm of silence. However, Scorpio's rudeness may sometimes cause Cancer to recoil; Cancer's moodiness may be hard for Scorpio to bear. Moreover, Scorpio's overweening selfishness could wilt the strongest Cancerian love. If they endure, their love will be a symphony.

I hope I'm not rude.

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:: 2003 26 July :: 10.50 pm
:: Mood: fuck.
:: Music: The Hives - Find Yourself Another Girl

my family = fucking morons beyond possible belief
on another note.. got my 21st cone tonight. It was sitting outside the hospital so I just.. picked it up... took it to the car.. and brought it home. It says Wet Floor on it.

The MRI was nothing. If anything, the worst part was the shot or the wait. I just layed in the tube thing and they gave me these goggles so I watched a movie. It was... way easy. I get the results in about a week they say. Let's hope I'm not dying or something.

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:: 2003 26 July :: 5.15 pm
:: Music: Tool

She sat there, at her desk, staring at that blank white wall as she had done so many times before. But this time, the whiteness swirled. Swirled and twisted into horrible images. The red of blood, the sight of pain and the aroma of death filled the room. She sat transfixed on the images that seemed to flash before her eyes. She showed no emotion even as a child of age 5 appeared, hung by its own bedsheet. The mouth lagged and the eyes hung from their sockets. After examining the sight, she blinked and the child disappeared. Standing up, filled with such deep apathy, she seemed to float over to her dresser. Bottom drawer, in the back right corner, under the box of lost memories, she picked up that knife. The one she sharpened every night. The one she thought of daily. The one.. she planned to use. She walked out of the room, into the world, and slaughtered the one she loved, with no more than a tear. Nothing but lethargy coursed through her body, her heart. She looked at his lifeless face and stared into the blank eyes, stained with the tears he had begged with for his life moments earlier. A smirk, and she greeted herself with her favorite knife.

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:: 2003 26 July :: 2.47 pm
:: Music: Tool - Schism

So I just got some chocolate milk. mmm. The great day kind, not Save-A-Lot shit.
So my last 2 days were pretty good. Had their fun times... Refer to Neilee's journal for more details. Heh.
Not much in the mood to write a whole lot today.

MRI is today.....

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:: 2003 25 July :: 1.46 am

I'm cold.
Our Lady Peace - Clumsy

Throw away the radio
Suitcase keeps you awake
Hide the telephone, telephone, telephone in case,
You realize that sometimes you're just not okay
You level off level off you level off, but its not allright now
You need to understand
There's nothing strange about this
You need to know your friends
You need to know that

I'll be waving my hand watching you drown
Watching you scream, quiet or loud
And maybe you should sleep
And maybe you just need a friend
As clumsy as you've been
There's no one laughing
You will be safe in here
You will be safe in here

Throw away this very old shoelace
Tripped you again
Try and shrug it off shrug it off shrug it off
It's only skin now
You need to understand
There's nothing fake about this
You need to let me in
I'm watching you and

I'll be waving my hand watching you drown
Watching you scream
No ones around
And maybe you should sleep
And maybe you just need a friend
As clumsy as you've been
With no one laughing
You will be safe in here
You will be safe in

I'll be wavin my hand
Watching you drown
Watching you scream
Quiet or loud
And maybe you should sleep
And maybe you just need a friend
As clumsy as you've been
And no ones laughing
You will be safe in here
You will be safe in here
You will be safe in here
In here, in here, in here, in here

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:: 2003 23 July :: 10.28 pm

It will always be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.

I promise.

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:: 2003 23 July :: 10.19 pm
:: Music: Red Hot Chili Peppers

I think I'll have fun.
Okay... great. heh. where.. is it... ?

I'm watching the time capsule.
As it falls through my hands.
Fragments near my feet.
Shattered like the heart of that lonely man.

Lost in a corner
Staring out with blank eyes
emotional apathy
frustrated serenity

That's just the way it goes.

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:: 2003 23 July :: 4.02 pm

Rate me!

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:: 2003 23 July :: 11.44 am
:: Music: The White Stripes - Seven Nation Army

I'm laying there sleeping last night. I'm dreaming but am sort of awake at the same time because I could feel this pain in my stomach. Suddenly I'm wide awake and I walk out in to the living room. My stomach hurts a lot. Then I run over to the trash can in the kitchen and throw up. Stand there for a second afterwards, trying to breath and shaking like mad. I slowly walk back to the bathroom and wash my mouth out. Then I layed back in my bed, still shaking, and fell asleep. I didn't go to work. I feel fine now...

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