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girlxunnoticd
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2004 24 July :: 2.47am
'hey, how are you? i haven't talked to you in a while. what have you been up to? this may be a cheap way of doing things... i think it is.. but i just wanted to say that i like you and i liked when we used to hang out sometimes. so if you ever want to hang out, just as friends or however you want to take it, then let me know. because i think that would be cool. if you don't want to do that, that is alright. i guess i'll talk to you later.'
so what do you think? do i have the guts?
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xxinterrupted
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2004 24 July :: 1.19am
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: breaking benjimin - so cold
"i feel, i feel dead inside.
nothings bringing me back
from this. not this time."
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girlxunnoticd
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2004 22 July :: 11.34pm
i'm sitting here alone on a thursday night. i only have 30 days until i leave for school. i want to go so badly and at the same time i know its going to kill me to go. i'm just listening to these songs and this one... it reminds me of him. well, they all sort of do. but this one especially. this was my song for him... "oh look now, there you go with hope again, but i'll be sure your secret's safe with me... oh you're so sure that i'll be leaving in the end, you're treating me like i'm already gone... but i'm not i will stay where you are always... I WILL STAY I WILL STAY I WILL STAY." but i don't know if i can stay... i don't know if you want me to. i need you to tell me something. because apparently my friends and yours too think we should be. so what do you think? why can't we talk? all i want is to see you. maybe tomorrow night. maybe someday i will have the courage to say something. something like i need you. don't give up on me. just because we will be apart doesn't mean we can't be together. again i guess i make no sense. i just need something other than mixed signals.
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lovedlessthanmost
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2004 22 July :: 8.15pm
friends only.
comment to be added, plz.
if I don't like what you're doing, i'll un-friend you.
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girlxunnoticd
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2004 22 July :: 1.37am
it sucks to be alone. it sucks to want something so bad but to know that you're so far away from it.
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girlxunnoticd
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2004 21 July :: 1.21am
i hate how they get my hopes up.
i wish you liked me.
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xxinterrupted
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2004 19 July :: 11.40pm
:: Mood: crappy
blah blah blah, everyones getting on me for not eating anything. i don't know, i just don't feel like eating, so i don't eat.
only 6 more days til vacation with jim.
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girlxunnoticd
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2004 19 July :: 12.55am
i am so lonely without you...
please stop talking about him... i don't want to hear it. and i don't want to hear how we should be together. i know i'm not a perfect person... i've made so many mistakes i don't even know where to begin... but please God, help me to stop making these mistakes and please help me to be happy.
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xxinterrupted
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2004 17 July :: 11.22pm
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: futurama on tv
nothing really happened yeterday.
today i woke up around noon and got a shower. my mom stayed home from the bar so we could go to the mall. we left around 1:30-2:00. it took me about 20 minutes to get a shower because the water kept turning off while i was in it. it was tickin' me off.
we went to the washington mall i got a pair of red dickies and a pink shirt with a black star on it from hot topic, they won't fit me now but they'll fit after the baby's born.
at fashon bug they were having a big sale so i got two maternity shirts, just a plain black one and a white one that buttons half way down. then i got a pair of mudd jeans, and a black & pink stripped shirt that ties down the sides.. again, those things won't fit until after the baby's born.. but i'm starting "school shopping" now so i'll actually have something to wear when i go back. oh and i got a cute little black hat.
we stopped at the bon ton, i got a grayish-black tank top that's really cute. that won't fit until after the baby's born either..
we went to the gap for kids and looked on the sale rack for baby clothes. we got so many cute little onesies/hats and other cute little things for the baby! god, i can't wait to wear them on her. :-D
for lunch i had chinesse. my mom and i shared some sorta chicken with rice and an egg roll. the rice was good. but it made me sick.
i spent $20 at clairs on the cutest jewelry. it was all on sale. lol
i got home around 7:00, then went swimming for about an hour or so. called jim, he has tonight off; and doesn't come over again.. i think he likes to just make me depressed or something.
i think i'm goin' to amys tomorrow. not positive yet though.. we'll see what goes on.
this is the first time i've been online all day. that's amazing.
[edit] 11:53 pm
it was nice actually having my mom home today. i haven't even seen her [at all] for about a week and a half now.. i'm so tired of being home alone all the time, i get lonely.
and i'm telling jim now that i'm sorry.. it just happened. i haven't done it in a long long time.
<3<3
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girlxunnoticd
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2004 17 July :: 3.51am
i <3 you.... but if without me you are happy... then thats the way it has to be.
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xxinterrupted
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2004 15 July :: 11.20pm
wow, some people are really desperate.
get a life, and your own boyfriend!
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xxinterrupted
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2004 15 July :: 9.46pm
:: Mood: melancholy
it's funny how 1 story can sound so different from 2 different people.
..jim wants me to go with jim to kennywood with him, his mom, ronnie, his brother and one of his friends. hmm.. let me think. that's stupid. and he got all mad when i told him i didn't want to go. okay; i'll go and be miserable and make him feel bad for me because i can't ride like 1/2 the rides. it's an all over bad idea. he was like "well you know i'm still gonna go with or without you" i was like "good for you, have fun. take someone else."
whatever, i don't give a fuck about anything anymore.
[edit] 11:02 pm
jim called around 10:30 and asked what kind of diapers to buy if there was any special kind.. why does he always do something so stupid, that's so sweet. he makes it so i can't ever hate him.
ahh!!!!
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xxinterrupted
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2004 15 July :: 6.01pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: muse - time is running out
SvvEeTbLoNdEcHiC: just remember u are so much better than this girl so dont even think for a second that u dont have somethin that she does bc u have everything and jim is just a blind ass mother f-er lol
aww.. thanks kristen.
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girlxunnoticd
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2004 15 July :: 2.41am
i don't think i have a chance with him... he is just too good for me...
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xxinterrupted
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2004 14 July :: 6.07pm
:: Mood: calm
my school schedual.
1st pd. economincs & government - areford
2nd pd. geometry - brletich
3rd pd. english 11 - baker
4th pd. accounting 1 - skilles
5th pd. study hall [mon. tue. thur.] - downing, fitness (gym) [wed. fri.] - mitchell
6th pd. study hall - gurdish
7th pd. child development 2 - taylor
8th pd. biology - foglia
hmmm.. i don't know how i got 6th period all week long study halls..
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xxinterrupted
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2004 14 July :: 1.14am
:: Mood: moody
:: Music: petey pablo - freek-a-leak
pictures
i took this yesterday.. yes it's me. and yeah, i'm very much pregnant! [29 weeks along] wow, i look fat. this is for you kathy!
jim and i sitting by the pool.. we just got done swimming. this was taken on the 11th, when jim stayed over.
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xxinterrupted
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2004 12 July :: 11.55pm
:: Mood: restless
i was just sitting here, looking at my pictures on my camera.. i haven't uploaded them; basicly because i've been procrastinating.. but i'll do it tomorrow most likely. [and i'll put one of me with my belly so you can see it kathy!] lol
didn't really do that much today. jim was here. we went swimming and watched some movies and what-not. he left around 6:30 and went home. blah, he left right before dinner was ready!
for dinner i made steak on the grill. haha, me cook? it's a scary thought, but i actually did it. i only burnt myself about 3 times. luckly jim helped me.
after he went home, kelly came over and we walked up to the mingo twist n shake for some ice cream. i got a large artic swirl with extra oreos. i don't know why i always get a large. i can't ever finish it.
..boring day as usual
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xxinterrupted
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2004 12 July :: 2.02pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: shhh.. jim's sleeping!
"when i didn't need anyone.. i needed you"
so for my last entry, the pains i was having was just braxton hicks contractions.. i was getting all worked up over nothing. but i'm glad everythings okay.
yesterday i woke up and got a shower and everything then went down jims house around 3:00. we didn't really do anything, just talked about stuff. i actually think we fell back asleep on the couch for a while, but i'm not completely sure.. lol. at 8:00, george came to pick us up. when we got to my house we went swimming.. it was actually pretty nice in the water. then my mom and george ordered some pizza and hoagies from up the mingo twist n shake, and got a fire going. when the pizza got here, it was all gross. the pizza wasn't cooked all the way; the hoagie was cold; and georges stromboli was luke warm. we were all so ticked off. after we made smores and marshmellows, my mom george and anna went in and left sam jim and i outside by the fire. i think it was around 12:30-1:00 by the time we came in. jim and i played nintendo! i love that system. oh yeah, so much better than all those new game systems! haha. after a while we got tired of playing and went online for a bit, then watched tv and talked. we fell asleep around 5:30.. we both kept saying we were going to go to sleep earlier; but then we'd start to talk about something else. lol i just woke up around 1:00. jim's still sleeping.
god, i just got this massive headache..
we watched True Life: I've got baby mama drama on MTV last night. [it was about teenage kids having babies] there was this one couple where they were both 19 i think, and the guy broke up with the pregnant girl for some 16 year old. omg, that pissed me off. i guess it's kinda like the situation i'm in. little 14 year old girls trying to take jim away from me..? yeah right, over my dead body will i let that happen. sorry; jim is definitly the best boyfriend i'd ever had.. and i'm not gonna lose that.
i have pictures from last night; but i don't feel like posting them now.. i'll do it later maybe, i don't know.
<3
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girlxunnoticd
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2004 12 July :: 12.00am
all i want to do is be your friend. i wish you would let me in. and i wish i had the strength to be who you want me to be. but i don't know how to do that. i wish we would speak... but it seems that we are from different worlds even though we are actually not that far away. i just want to see you. i just want to talk to you. i just want it to be us again. just us. just doing nothing all night long until we can barely keep our eyes open. i don't know what i did wrong. but i'm sorry. i'm sorry i messed up... and i'll never do it again... if you'll just let me be with you again. please... just let me be your friend. just let me be what you need me to be... just so long as i'm a part of you. i'll be happy if you are... but are you happy now?
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xxinterrupted
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2004 11 July :: 1.16am
:: Mood: frustrated
stupid pains
i was almost asleep about 20 minutes ago, and then i kept getting these pains in my lower abdomen. well earlier today when i was down jims house i kept getting really bad cramps. i hope everythings okay; if these pains don't go away by the time i go home, i'm gonna ask my mom and see what she thinks. i hope everythings okay.. :-/
so i went to jims yesterday around 4:00 i got there. we didn't really do anything.. just talked and watched the movie what lies beneath or something and ordered some food from kuzins. i got up amys around 8:45, and we just chilled. i'm goin' back down jims house today because amy is leaving in the morning to go to a family picnic with her gram in ohio. so my mom is gonna come pick him and i up around 7:00 and he's gonna stay over my house til monday when he has to go to work.
amy and her sisters stupid rat keeps scaring me. i'm sitting here all by myself and it keeps running in its wheel making noises. jeeze.. lol
..i really hope everythings okay with the baby and i just have cramps or something dumb like that. i'm not gonna be able to sleep tonight because i'm going to be thinking about it.
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xxinterrupted
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2004 9 July :: 11.01pm
:: Mood: crappy
:: Music: "what not to wear" on tv.
i woke up at 2:00 in the afternoon. tried to call jim. it was 6:30-7:00 by the time i actually got ahold of him. he was on his way over, but i was pissed off because he didn't get here earlier so i just told him not come over and hung up.
i made plans to do things this weekend, because my sisters were supposed to go to there dads, but no; anna didn't want to go, so once again i get stuck watching them. i'm not a mom yet.. i shouldn't have to act like one all the time! but whatever. i'm definitly doing something tomorrow with or without jim. my mom george and anna are going to some picnic, so i'm free to do whatever.
i think i'm gonna get a ride to the mall tomorrow and to see a movie. i don't care if i have to go myself, i'm going to go.
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girlxunnoticd
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2004 9 July :: 1.41am
i thought tonight was going to be good... but i guess i was wrong. i just can't get him out of my head. and a night without him now is like torture. this needs to stop... i need him here... now.
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xxinterrupted
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2004 8 July :: 12.50pm
:: Mood: cranky
stupid pills always make me sick.
i woke up around 12:00.. my mom woke me up to see if i wanted to go to greensburg with her; but instead i talked her into taking me to jims house for the day. i told him the only way i'd come down is if he'd push me on the swings down at the park. lol, he said he would. we'll see what actually happens. i'll update later.
[edit]
time: 6:15 PM
i just got home about 10 minutes ago, i ended up not going to jims, well i did go to his house but he didn't answer his phone so i just went with my mom to greensburg to look at RV's to rent for a week.. we stopped at bob evans to get something to eat, i got pan cakes with homefries, eggs, and sausage. mmm. it was good. jim called me at like 5:30 and was appologizing because he slept the whole day and didn't answer his phone. but whatever, i'm still upset about it. i woulda just walked in his house except i got there around 2:00, and he told me last night that his mom was going to be there until 3:00, so i didn't want to just walk in and her be sitting on the couch or anything; i'd feel so stupid! lol. but anyway, i guess jim is gonna get me a ride to and from his house tomorrow.. but we'll see what actually happens.
i hope he'll be able to go with us when we go on vacation at the end of july [we're renting a 37' RV for a week, and taking a trip up to niagria falls in canada] i doubt he will because of his job; but i'll see if i can't make him take off or something. he has to go, or i won't have any fun.
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girlxunnoticd
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2004 8 July :: 1.12am
i am stupid, that is why i am alone. why do i pass up chances. i just get so scared. what if he doesn't feel the same? then why should i even bother. i just want things to be easy. i just want to be with him.
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xxinterrupted
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2004 7 July :: 6.33pm
i've been into taking these quizes again for some reason.. i don't know why though.
What's Your Problem? Find out @ She's Crafty
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girlxunnoticd
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2004 7 July :: 12.01am
everything everywhere reminds me of him... i feel as though i will never escape him. i don't know whether i am better off forgetting about him or trying to spend this little time i have left here with him... although i deem forgetting impossible. i love him. i don't know why and i don't really know how this came about, but i can't change it. all i want is him and he is the only one who can make things right. but... i have a wrong feeling about tonight. maybe something happened... or maybe i'm just insane... but i feel alone. no one called. no one cares. they probably went without me. my fear is that they saw someone and decided not to make me hurt. i hope that is not true. but then again... i do hope he is happy... and if it is not with me, then i suppose after some sad songs i will just have to deal with that. i just keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason. i've just never felt like this before. i just want to talk to him... to see him... to be with him always. but i don't know what to do. please help me... please.
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girlxunnoticd
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2004 6 July :: 12.59am
i have fun.... but i wish i had something more like what they have. always together. always having fun.
i miss him... i wish he could be a part of this... but i just don't see it possible. i love him, but i don't know what to do about it. i don't know... i need help.
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xxinterrupted
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2004 5 July :: 11.53pm
 I am an Asteroid.
I am a drifter. I go where life leads, which makes me usually a very calm and content sort of person. That or thoroughly apathetic. Usually I keep on doing whatever I'm doing, and it takes something special to make me change my mind.
What Video Game Character Are You?
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xxinterrupted
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2004 5 July :: 11.07pm
:: Mood: content
i give in to easily.
jim came over after work.. we stayed up and talked for about an hour or so, then he fell back asleep until 2:30, then around 4 kelly jim and i went swimming. it was so cold! jim was bein a butthead and wouldn't go in for the longest time because it was so cold, but he eventually went in with us. after that sam and i made dinner for us. jim and i went out and layed a blanket in my yard and talked about baby names, and stupid stuff. he got me laughing so hard, i almost peed my pants. haha.
a picture of us in the yard.
i didn't feel good all day, and i still don't now. blah.
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