Repaired Renewed Mended Fixed Restored
I don't have anything to say. And i don't want to be all gay and talk about how much fun break is going to be, because its not going to be. Maybe friday will though, i still haven't found out if i can go to Brad's party, but i'm going to try.

My computer is screwed up again. I thought about just erasing the hard drive, but i can't find the cd that i would have to have to load it onto it again. I still can't go to msn, yahoo, or google, but i found the site its bringing me to, and deleted it on my favorites, and everything else on my computer, but it still brings me to it as my home page.

Just as I thought I was relieved of my habits, they come back to me.

I have nothing to say. But I'm saying something. Which is hard to do with nothing to say.

Audioslave is kicking ass in the background.

Orange message boxes blink in the forground.

And I'm caught somewhere in the middle.

I show up at the school: 7:06 PM
No one is in the parking lot.
No lights on in the school.
Figuring I'm retarted, and it's next weekend, I go home.
That would make sense anyway, Swirl on Valentines Day.
Valentine Ticket.
But alas...it is tonight.
And I have no ride.

Maybe Dreams weren't meant to come true.
Maybe I wasn't meant to beat him up.

Inspiration from a Dream
Memories Not Meant To Be

With you, my wish is granted
And apart, I’ve lost all chances
But with you, I won’t forget
That is to say I haven’t yet

With you, my heart is beating
Faster than it ever has
Without you it slows
I could never get that mad

With you, I see myself clearly
In a pond reflection from your eyes
And apart I’d like to think you can hear me
I have never been surprised

And you grant all my wishes
And you hold my memories
You’re eyes are lakes of emotion
And you hold no penalties

Depression sets in.
I'm losing friends, and realizing that I don't have as many as previously thought. So I can't afford to lose the ones I have. But...I can't help it, I'm not as funny as I used to be. And that is all I have ever had. Funny. That's it. I've never been too good looking, and until recently I was always fat. I don't know what to do. I'm starting to hate myself. And it's so hard not to scream right now.

Yup...I'm depressed.
I woke up about an hour ago, almost crying, for no reason. Then I just laid in my bed for a half hour, trying to figure out why I was so sad. But I wasn't just sad, I was mad too. I hated something. But I don't know what.


I want to love someone. I think I need, love. Simply. In the simplest form.