acidtears
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2010 27 July :: 11.31am
Hang on
When the water is rising
Hang on
When the waves are crashing
Hang on
Just don't ever let go
I'm so stubborn
It's how I got here
So alone
Feels like forever
I wanna swim away
And breath the open air
But I feel so afraid
Then I hear you say
Hang on
When the water is rising
Hang on
When the waves are crashing
Hang on
Just don't ever let go
I'm so hungry
How can I stay here?
I'm starving
For what I hold so dear
Like a hurricane
It takes everything
From me
Wake me from this dream
Hang on
When the water is rising
Hang on
When the waves are crashing
Hang on
Just don't ever let go
Hang on
When you're barely breathing
Hang on
When your heart's still beating
Hang on
Just don't ever let go
Three days
Or thirty years
So hopeless
It doesn't matter
Don't say it's too late
If you blink your eyes
The sun is rising
The sun is rising
Hang on
When the water is rising
Hang on
When the waves are crashing
Hang on
Just don't ever let go
Hang on
When you are barely breathing
Hang on
When your hearts still beating
Hang on
Just don't ever let go
Have you given up?
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acidtears
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2010 26 July :: 11.05pm
:: Mood: drained
shfxnvmxasjf....i don't even know.
The new job is going good. I am working everyday this week except Thursday. The only bad thing about this job is being on my feet all day. I'm getting used to it though. It never fails, the gas station becomes empty, so I go to sit down, and as soon as my ass touches the chair, there's a customer. I have phrases like "Have a good Day?", "How are you?", and "Credit or Debit?" stuck in my head. I dream in PLU numbers. But, I do not regret starting there. Everyone's friendly, my boss and co workers are awesome and hilarious. It's very laid back. I like it. It's easy. But, first thing I need to get is my driver's license, then GED, then save money for the tattoo job next summer. And eventually, once all is taken care of, start looking at apartments. But, it's going to be a busy week. Luckily tomorrow is going to be very easy. My shortest shit yet will be tomorrow, only 2 hours. Not bad at all. My downtime consists of talking about booty calls and other dirty things with my boss. Love it. But, better get to bed. See ya.
Have you given up?
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jes
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2010 24 July :: 3.00am
:: Mood: numb
I should have known better.
I don't care what other people's beliefs, opionon's are, or what's acceptable to them. I'm not other people. I don't live my life for other people.
It's not acceptable to me. That is not what WE discussed.
No one but ŻOU could understand how hurt I am, how much my heart feels like its being ripped out of my chest..once again.
I walk blindly...trusting someone who told me they could see ahead...turns out you're the blind one.
I feel so scared I can barely breathe, and it's all your fault. Selfish and pathetic. Will you ever expierence this kind of anxiety? No..because you are taken....care of for life.
Have you given up?
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acidtears
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2010 23 July :: 11.57am
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: "Happy" By Leona Lewis
Fucking Doctors
Well, today sucks so far. I kept trying to get a hold of the Gastro office, when I finally got through I learned my Doctor doesn't work there anymore, and they have a note not to schedule me there anymore with anyone. Because I had to reschedule a few times. Excuse the fuck out of me, Life happens. The majority of the time my mom was not feeling well enough to drive me, and I cannot walk to Greenville. Fuck that. Whatever, the nurses and Secretaries there were bitches anyway. So luckily I found 3 highly respected Gastro Doctors that I need to call. I hope they accept my insurance, because I need to see a Gastro Doctor. But, onto another subject. My grandparents are picking me up later and we're going out to dinner, then tomorrow, I start work. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. No, it's not my dream job, but its a job and sure beats the hell out of working at a Fast Food place. I start tomorrow at 2, then end at closing time, 10. So, luckily I don't have to wake up earlier or a anything. Then next week Me and David might hang out, depends on my work schedule and a few other factors. But, I better get going. Bye.
2 All grown up |
Have you given up?
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acidtears
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2010 19 July :: 10.52pm
I think I might go nuts before wednesday
Have you given up?
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jes
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2010 18 July :: 11.48am
:: Mood: annoyed
un-grateful.
I'm annoyed by people and their constant complaining. Be grateful for something! Find the positive somewhere in the negative.
I know everyone needs to vent and that's understandable,but there's just no reason to think the world is coming to an end because heaven forbid something doesn't go our way.
People are homeless, starving, filthy and cold sleeping under bridges with no family, no friends, no hope, people are fighting cancer, greifing loss, have nothing to call their own after disasters strike, and everyday we find a reason to complain. My life isn't perfect, my prayer list is 10 pages long, but I'm still grateful and HAPPY!
Sometimes I wish certain people would wake up on the other side of the world, with nothing but faith..and maybe they'd be a bit more apprciative and not act like the world is ending because of petty and pathetic crap.
Have you given up?
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rayray
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2010 18 July :: 10.15am
Only roughly 111 more days..
Have you given up?
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jes
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2010 14 July :: 6.04pm
To have a friend, you must be a friend.
Have you given up?
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acidtears
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2010 12 July :: 5.23pm
:: Mood: aggravated
Ha! Back at square one.
Have you given up?
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acidtears
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2010 10 July :: 5.42pm
Raise your glass
We have incorporated
Place your bets
We're all so sick of waiting
Queen takes jack
You got me this time but i'll get you back
So pick a number
To all the ones who tried the most was i supposed to cheer your efforts
Sorry that i chose so poorly
Golly gee am i the poster girl
She's the kind of girl who looks for love in all the lonely places
The kind who comes to poker pockets stuffed with kings and aces
She's the kind of girl who only asks you over when its raining
Just to make you lie there catching water dripping from the ceiling
Lift your hats
Off to the checkout girls with tattooed backs
They'd make an angels skin crawl
If you ask them for assistance
There's an even chance
You'll get a number
To all the girls at pearl the surly boys who get to masticate them
I've a prize for each and every one of you so just be patient
To all the ones that hated me the most a toast
You really had me
Going for a second i was nervous
Boy am i the poster girl
She's the kind of girl who gets her slings and arrows from the dumpster
The kind who tell you she's bipolar just to make you trust her
She's the kind of girl who leaves out condoms on the bedroom dresser
Just to make you jealous of the men she fucked before you met her
To all the ones who thought they knew me best a test to prove your prowess
Who was mine in '99 i want last names and current status
To all the ones who hated me the most a toast you really had me going for second
I was nervous boy am i the poster girl
For some suburban sickness
Better keep a healthy distance
Now its up to you know what to do
It's pretty dirty business
Have you given up?
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acidtears
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2010 6 July :: 1.42am
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: Goo Goo Dolls
You wait, wanting this world
To let you in
And you stand there
A frozen light
In dark and empty streets
You smile hiding behind
A God-given face
But I know you're so much more
Everything they ignore
Is all that I need to see
You're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in
Now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in
I wish
Wishing for you to find your way
And I'll hold on for all you need
That's all we need to say
I'll take my chances while
You take your time with
This game you play
But I can't control your soul
You need to let me know
You leaving or you gonna stay
You're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in
Now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in
There's nothing we can do about
The things we have to do without
The only way to feel again
Is let love in
There's nothing we can do about
The things we have to live without
The only way to see again
Is let love in
You're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in
Now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in
Have you given up?
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acidtears
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2010 1 July :: 2.19pm
:: Mood: content
Is employed!
Have you given up?
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acidtears
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2010 20 June :: 7.03pm
Today= Moving Day.
Have you given up?
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jes
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2010 18 June :: 2.28pm
Hey negative nancy...is there anything you DON'T complain about? So much belly aching..is there anything you're actually grateful for?
Of course not...
Have you given up?
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jes
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2010 16 June :: 8.38pm
:: Mood: in the middle of a mood swing...
:: Music: casting crowns-if we are the body
I'm craving a pickel....
Yes, it's true...I'm pregnant. Almost exactly 3 months. Am I excited? Yes, of course. Does this mean that I want to talk about being pregnant, that I crave pickels, get dirreha from greasy food, puke sometimes when I brush my teeth, what the coolest stroller on the market is, if I plan to breast feed..and if so for how long, do I discharge when pregnant, is it true you're really more horny, NO NO NO!! Good Lord, I don't even want to talk about that with my husband let alone Mr. Clemintine down the street I've met once...or the girl from high school I haven't seen since graduation. Yet..here I am talking about it. How ironic. When you tell the world you're pregnant ...it's like nothing else matters. "I got hit by a car last week", ...."SO how's that baby, feel any kicks yet?". C'mon. I cannot wait to be a mother...actually I can! I have 6 more months to enjoy not having a child for the rest of my life, can we please talk about this new outfit I bought to cover up my buldging stomach? Thanks.
Maybe another side effect of pregnancy is constantly being annoyed by people. Ignorance is bliss, no? I don't claim to be perfect, because well ...I'm not. The fact that I can't stand judgemental people...point in case right there. Maybe that kind of defeats my whole annoyance, I'm not sure. I just really don't think President Obama nor the bum who walks around my neighborhood a few times a day has any right to judge me or my neighbor. You may not agree with my life choices, my crappy spelling and grammer, or what I believe when it comes to how you should treat your parents, how long is TOO long to change the cat litter, or how to handle a sexual preditor but as long as it isn't offending right from wrong..and basic morals, maybe you should just keep your mouth closed. You too can easily be judged on the exact words you're speaking of. I'm not perfect, neither are you. So no one should be judging anyone. If you're going to judge me on my income, maybe I should judge you on your sanity? Fair, no. Because no one has any place. Nor does anyone actually listen to the point of the one placing judgements on others. A lesson I had to learn the hard way, most definatly. Hopefully everyone learns this lesson in life. Unfortunately some never do.
Today the woodchuck living under our front porch (yes we live in DOWNTOWN grand rapids and have a whole circus of zoo animals...skunks, woodchucks, rabbits, birds, moles, ect.) killed something as I was doing camp work in the living room. All I could hear was the screeching sound of the prey as the woodchuck snarled, hissed, and attacked. Did I mention...I really cannot wait to move out of Grand Rapids? :)
My sister is getting married! In less than a month. I'm so excited! I'm trying not to smuther and want to help plan, and plot lol but I'm just so happy for her. She's my only sister, and I want her to have the most memorable and special day like I did. Minus loosing any important documentations that actually prove you're married...heh. Or..nearly crashing your car into the highway divider because you've been up for 48 hours on your way to Detriot at 2 am to leave for your honeymoon. Guess who didn't have sex the night of their honeymoon, just kidding...or am I?
I can't cook chicken....it reminds me of a fetus when I'm cooking it...sick.
I have a pretty amazing husband...don't get me wrong he really gets under my skin sometimes (love you honey!) as does any spouse, boyfriend, fiance, but I could not do this pregnancy without him. He is my very best friend, who makes me laugh, and even cry. (Good tears...for the most part ;) lol) We have our moments and fights like any other couple, but he isn't afraid to call me out when I'm being selfish or just a big baby. One thing I've loved about him from day 1, is that he never is disappointed in me. He doesn't have all these expectations for me, other than to love him and be there for him. So when I mess up, I never feel like my head it rubbed into my mess. He always lends a helping hand to get me back up to where I want to be. I love him for everything he is to me...my best friend, my security guard at night when I hear any noise, my lover, my chef when I'm craving the worlds BEST grilled cheese, my husband, and soon to be father of our child. He's just great.
There goes the woodchuck again..I wonder what he killed now. Hope it wasn't one of my dogs. On that note..I should probably go check.
Have you given up?
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