we grow up. to give up.

2 All grown up | Have you given up?

:: 2009 6 April :: 1.27am
:: Mood: Fuck Off
:: Music: "Almost Lover" by: A Fine Frenzy

Flower pot painting and crazy movies.
Well, Girl's Night was a success. It was fun. We got moneys and went to Dollarville and each got flower pots and painted them when we got back to Kayliegh's house. Mine is Ocean themed, Kayliegh's was flower themed, and Jenny's.....I don't even know. I know there was talk about splotches and snails. HaHa. Afterwards, Jenny and I headed to her house to grab some movies. We watched "Shrooms" and "Requiem for a dream". Crazy movies. But, part way through that second movie, it was time for me to rest my head and my tired eyes. The next morning I was seriously dragging though. I got over 8 hours of sleep, yet it felt like I pulled an all nighter. Then...the worst part came. I went home! *Dun Dun Dun* I wanted to just lay down and sleep or just play Pokemon....no no. Impossible. The kids blew the Dining room and Living room to all hell. I had to pick that mess up; Repeatidly. Then we had a talk. Not going into that right now. Then the rest came. I played Pokemon for a total of 5 hours. Yeah, that's right...I am a huge nerd. But, I better go. Bye.

-Samm

:: 2009 4 April :: 9.59pm

I seriously feel like I am losing my mind.
And one thing I hate more than anything, is when people don't listen to me, or acknowledge the fact that I am talking to them..

Not to mention I have other things on my mind that are making me want to throw up and crawl in a corner and cry because that is the only way I know how to deal with them, have known how to deal with them for a very long time..

How fucking lame..

:: 2009 1 April :: 8.34pm
:: Mood: Pain
:: Music: None

She's back!
Well, Kayliegh came back last night. And I was super excited to see her. I missed her alot for the past couple months. But, we hung out today at her house; Her, Jenny, and I. I came home from her house with 2 boxes and a giant Kohl's bag of stuff. So, I am going to have fun figuring out what to do with what. HaHa. But, for the rest of the week, we are pretty much busy. Tomorrow apparently we're having like a birthday celebration for Grandpa, we're making burgers on the grill and everything. The Friday, Mom, Doug, and Kayliegh are going to a bar with a bunch of people for Grandpa's surprise party. Then on Saturday, me and Jenny are going to Kayliegh's house for a "Girl's night". So, it's going to be fun. But, I don't have much to write about. Bye.

-Samm

1 All grown up | Have you given up?

:: 2009 30 March :: 5.13pm

I feel like all my friends worlds are falling apart and there is nothing I can do about it..
How fucking shitty..

1 All grown up | Have you given up?

:: 2009 28 March :: 6.22pm

Bowled a 300 on wii!!

5 All grown up | Have you given up?

:: 2009 27 March :: 11.42am

So I took a day off work to recooperate.
Work killed me yesterday, and I can seriously barely move.
I pulled a muscle in my right knee.
Of course it has to be the one that I had surgery on a few years back, not the one that doesn't ever hurt.. Go figure.

I am waiting for a reply back from some people about a washer and dryer.. Hopefully that happens this weekend too, and we can get that.

I had a dream last night, that everyone I used to hang out with from Cedar, showed up at my house in a grey school bus..

So apparently, my sister isn't coming up for two weeks now..

:: 2009 27 March :: 8.47am
:: Mood: content

Laugh. Smile. Sigh.
Lately I've been making my posts friends only. I'm not quite sure why. I think it could be because I'm paranoid and I don't want my mom or anyone aside from my friends on here to know how giddy I am. And when I say giddy, I mean as giddy as a damn school girl. HaHa.

Last night me and my mom went to Family Fare to get some milk and what not. We ended up seeing the clearance area and ran for it. HaHa. Mom found these Starbucks Chocolates that were on sale, and we had a coupon on top of that discount. So, for Starbucks, it was cheap. She hated my favourite chocolate. I love, LOVE the Mocha Dark Chocolate. It's my favourite kind of chocolate and there's coffee grounds in it that taste like mocha. My mom thought it was disgusting, and found it even more disgusting when I ate and enjoyed the Coffee ground chocolate. HaHa. So, I ate pretty much all of those kinds out of the "Sampler".

Right now, it is 8:25 in the morning, and Ava is sick. So, she's very whiney, she keeps getting a fever, she's coughing up her lungs, and she can't sleep. She woke up not too long ago. I was hoping with her being sick and all, she would want to try and sleep, I was wrong for hoping that. But, for a little bit this morning she was mad at me. She kept yelling at me and repeated the phrase "You didn't hear me!". I wish I could answer your "What the hell does that mean?" question, but I myself have no clue what-so-ever. Right now, however, we are all buddy buddy right now, she's on my lap kissing my cheek and asking which of my arms hurts. And it's off to the couch to watch "Monsters Inc." for her.

But, the weekend is here, and I'm excited. Even though me and Brie got into a little spat yesterday about my weekend leaving. She says I should stay home for a weekend and I need to help out more. I don't know what the hell her problem is, but I help out as much as I can. I am sort of limited, however. I can't lift anything heavy, I can't really pick much up off the ground, I can't even stir hamburger, and if I fold too much laundry, my shoulder gets it's own pulse. I am here all week long, which yes, is my fault and choice because of dropping out. But, I need social interaction too, and the weekend is pretty much my only time to do it. Then afterwards she tells me "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude or bitchy, I'm just trying not to cry". I told her she didn't need to take it out on everyone else. Because I wasn't the only victim to fall prey to her "I'm bitching everyone out and bossing them around because I'm trying not to cry". She was yelling at Tanna for not doing things quick enough or up to her standards. She was screaming about how Dylan should be up here, not in the basement playing the PS2. It was ridiculous. And I'm going to piss her off even more, by leaving this weekend. I'm never even gone for a whole 24 hours, that's the thing. I leave sometime after dark, then I come home anywhere from 10am-1pm the next day. Not even 24 fucking hours. And before I leave, I usually make sure everything's handled and going smoothly. If things are a mess and Ava is screaming, I try to do my best to calm her down and straighten things out. I'm not some fucking robot that can just stay home all week and then stay home on the weekends. She brings up the High School drop out thing all the time, and how that is why I don't have a social life. WRONG. I didn't have a social life while I was in school either. I've been an anti-social person for a long time, and I'm starting to get a life back. So, excuse me for being inside all week while everyone else is leaving and having fun, but I am not staying home on the weekends. I think she's also just bitching at me about leaving because she can't leave. She's grounded and will stay that way for another week and a half or so, so she's just pissed off because she can't leave for the moment.

Anyway, I'm going to stop bitching and end this here before I ramble and it gets too long. Bye.

-Samm

10 All grown up | Have you given up?

:: 2009 26 March :: 7.55am
:: Mood: content

Early mornings.
Well, it's around 7:45am right now, and I want to talk to Darin, but MSN messenger is not working for some reason. I would call him, but the fact that we are 3 hours or so ahead of Arizona makes it difficult. He has school, so, I'm not going to call him and ruin his sleeping at 4:45 his time. I know I would hate it if someone called me that early. HaHa. He told me yesterday that if I was up early and wanted to talk to just call him, but, I'm not going to interupt his sleep. Luckily he gets let out of school earlier than the rest of them do, he gets let our around 1 or so because of work release. He has all of his credits, and his last 2 classes would be pointless. We were talking on the phone yesterday. It's like every time we talk on the phone, the conversations get longer and longer. It went from 30 minutes to 45 minutes yesterday. I'm not complaining though, I love talking to him on the phone. Hearing his voice say all these sweet things about me maks me happy. Especially because I don't initiate his little ramble about "You're gorgeous, Samm. You're so sweet and beautiful", but he says them because he feels like it. His voice is a comfort and it brings a smile to my face every time we talk. He even makes me giggle, HaHa. He noticed my giggle way before I even did. I felt like a dork from then on. He told me it's cute though, but, I'm still going to try and keep it minimal. But, it's about that time where I wake up Ava and get her ready school, then later Jenny's coming over. So, at least there's something to look forward to. HaHa. Bye. :]

-Samm

chelthesmell

:: 2009 26 March :: 12.40am
:: Mood: StOcKeD!!!

These weekends just keep getting better and better!
Well Thursday I will be working for the day and the same during the day on friday but I'm not too upset about that because I never work and I need money motha fucka! lol. (I've been hanging out with Jessica too much...) Then Friday night my neice Kylie is going to spend the night with us and that's always a trip. Then Saturday AJ is changing oil on cars, then I'm going to Mindy's to give her her present, and I'll probably stay to party! I'm excited about that one! Then, FINALLY (!), Sunday night we're going to the Far From Finished, Flatfoot 56, and 10 Second March concert!!! Yay! Two other bands are going to be there but we've never heard of them so whatever...But the tickets were only 9 bucks a piece and 3 really kickass bands will be there! I'm super excited! I cant wait. So pretty much my weekend will consist manly of getting drunk and rocking out...! =)

3 All grown up | Have you given up?

2 All grown up | Have you given up?

:: 2009 25 March :: 10.37am
:: Mood: contemplative

Contemplative, yet content.
Well, things have been going great for the past couple days. I watched the Twilight movie for the first time the other day. It was surprisingly good for a movie made from a book. Of course, they left some stuff out, but, what booke based movie doesn't leave things out. But, it was good overall. And update on the guy situation. HaHa. Well, I've been talking to this guy Darin for a while. I met him through Brendon. I never thought of Darin like that before, ever. But, the other night, we just got to talking, and I saw him in a different way than before. I realised he would be a great boyfriend. We like each other, long story short. But, there is a teeny tiny distance problem. Actually, when you look at it, it's not so teeny tiny. HaHa. I am in Michigan and he lives in...Arizona. So, it's a bit of a problem. I told him I didn't know how I would be able to handle the distance, but I heard(not from Darin) that he apparently has enough funds to visit. I just wish he wasn't so far away. Maybe if he was in Ohio or something, then I wouldn't have to think about it twice. But, when he's in Arizona, I have been thinking about it too much. I am overthinking, which I do all the time. I overanalyze possible relationships all the time, even when the guy is in the same town. He also plans on joining the National Guard. But, there's just so much to like about him. He's 18, around 6 ft. tall, Brown hair, Blue eyes, very muscular, etc. I know he's real, yes. It's not like I've never kind of seen him before. It's not just pictures. There's been webcam a few times, then just yesterday we talked on the phone for the first time. The entire phone conversation and even after we stopped talking, I couldn't stop smiling. Brie even noticed. She said "Aww, Sammie's happy. Maybe she should talk to Darin more often." And I agree with her. But, I've been in a great mood since me and him started talking to each other in a different way from being friends. He's sweet, hilarious, cute, HOT voice(HaHa. I wasn't looking for that, but, it's a bonus), he's honest, he helps me out, etc. He's just as close to perfect for me as anyone can be. He makes me happy. I just wish there wasn't so much of a distance between us. He'll be coming a little closer eventually. He said he'll be going to Missouri, but that's for training for the National Guard. But, amybe we can make this work, who knows? But right now, I'm going to enjoy this and smile and laugh. I'm doing both of those more often now. But, I have to get ready for Physical Therapy. Bye. :]

-Samm
Let the fun begin! HaHa.

:: 2009 23 March :: 7.09pm

After a long stressful week filled with 4 weeks worth of homework, a couple of exams, work, and very little sleep, I managed to come out alive.
I also survived a weekend that was filled with a 10 year old for the weekend, a barbeque, major cleaning, lots of wii bowling/golf/tennis and a trip to the movies.

Race to Witch Mountain, wasn't the greatest.

I have a PowerPoint presentation to work on, but I lack all sense of creativity.
Isn't it lovely how that works out?
It's like a vicious cycle.
Once I finish one workload, I get another thrown at me.

Not to mention, I need to figure out if I want to take classes this summer..
But it would also be nice to know what is going to happen once May comes..
My whole world will be up in a whirlwind then.

:: 2009 20 March :: 1.00am
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: "Eyes on Fire" by: Blue Foundation

Bleh Bleh Bleh.
Well, I hope everyone had a good St. Patrick's Day. I didn't get to drink, I went to Physical Therapy though. It was the worst appointment of them all. I had a different lady doing my arm stretching. She put me in so much pain, it was ridiculous. Then my friend Jesse came over yesterday and he forgot about my arm completely, and he got a bit too rambuncious and was shaking my arm and grabbing at my shoulder. So, my arm felt like it had a pulse after that. It was just throbbing and ice was not doing anything for it. Just giving me shivers. It's a little better today though. But, I also want to thank Jenny again for taking me to my appointment. THANK YOU JENNY! :] HaHa. But, the weekend will be here shortly and I plan on going out and having fun. I also did some organizing in my room earlier. I felt very productive. I cleaned the dining room and folded laundry, then continued with the sudden burst of energy up to my room. Where I switched out some pictures that were in frames, hung my dresses up, cleaned/organized some of the junk under my bed, organized my books, etc. It was amazing how much I did actually. I was pretty impressed with myself. HaHa. But, I haven't had much going on since I updated last. It's been a sort of boring week. So, I'm going to end this entry here due to having no life and therefore nothing to write about. HaHa. Bye.

-Samm

6 All grown up | Have you given up?

jayzulla

:: 2009 15 March :: 5.30pm

If anyone knows anyone looking for a high grade paintball gun im selling mine for 400, which is a pretty good deal consdering i had it sold for 550 but my buyer backed out. i need to sell it fast.