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m&ms487
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2007 1 February :: 11.00pm
:: Mood: restless
Formalism
New Critics
Motif
Realism
Character
Dialogue
Exposition
Image.
Waiting. Tired. Eleven O'Clock. Packing. Dirty Socks. Memoirs of a Drunk.
I hate when people get their futures handed to them on a silver platter, and they piss it away. If only they could know how hard it is sometimes. If only they could realize...
I can't even describe how angry I am. There are people in Cedar that are working at fast food jobs for menial pay that are more intelligent, and have more insight than many people that I've met here.
In my edu 107 class we had to take a survey of our high schools. Cedar Springs ranked as a rural school (on the chart, it was at the bottom). Out of 115 people, two were from a school such as ours, and 100 were from "elite" schools (one notch below private). Most of those kids don't deserve to be there. They're there because their parents can pay for them to. They skip classes and aren't there for the academics. It makes me angry. It makes me angry that so many people from Cedar feel like they can't do anything with their life except work at a minimum wage job and hope for a promotion, or go for vocation training, or, go into the armed forces, when all these little bitches here sleep for most of the day. They don't study, they don't do anything. They complain about writing papers and having to actually participate in classes. Sometimes it's a little much, but I LOVE being here and having intelligent discussions. I love my professors and their dedication to their area of study. I even love having to write papers and work my ass off, because I know that it'll pay off one day. It'll make my life better, and I'll be able to make a difference somehow. But these bitches don't do anything. They 'try' a little so that they won't fail enough to get kicked out, or get bitched at by their parents. How are kids suppose to be encouraged in school to "do their best" and succeed, when there is little hope of them doing anything better than their parents after graduation. What's the incentive? What's the point? Why don't we just put everyone that has enough money to go to college in one school, and then train everyone else that doesn't to be a plumber. That's pretty much what China does. A communist nation is kicking our butt because the privledged are too good to get their head out of their asses, and the poor kids have no hope for anything better. Whatever.
*end rant*
[edit] In retrospect, I've realized that plumbers actually make good money, and therefore, please substitute plumber with another vocation that doesn't make much money...such as a stocker at a grocery store, or a security guard (the ones without guns).
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m&ms487
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2007 1 February :: 7.16pm
Why does my foundation (make-up) have caffeine in it?
[ponders]
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imaqinary
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2007 1 February :: 7.15pm
:: Mood: crushed
i feel so empty..
&& I haven't even left yet.
Gosh... my dad signed the papers to sell the house. We should be moving in about a month or so, unless I decide to live with my mom for the time being. I'm thinking long and hard about this because I really don't want to leave Alyssa. She's all I have. She's everything. She's my world & I'd be leaving it behind. How could I do that? I mean, there's this more than amazing school that I could be going to.. but really, no one I know will be there. My whole world is here. Do I really want to leave it? Part of me says yes. The other part says no. Although, I'll only be about an hour and 45 minutes away, it'll still seem like worlds apart. I mean, I don't see Alyssa rarely as it is. Imagine when I can only see her every other weekend... gosh.. =[ I don't know if I can do it again. We tried it when she left to Michigan and we didn't really make it. I don't know... I have to think.
i love Alyssa soo much.
more than anything & anyone.
forever and always.
here are some icons.
Read more..
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m&ms487
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2007 1 February :: 7.10pm
:: Mood: determined
I'm leaving for closed rush in a bit. It's at eight and they told me it would just be an interviewing process. I'm really quite excited.
p.s. I'm coming home this weekend. :)
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m&ms487
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2007 31 January :: 11.43pm
:: Mood: calm
Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently. ~Henry Ford
If only you would be a little sensible, this wouldn't be quite so difficult, I think. I'm here when you need me.
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m&ms487
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2007 30 January :: 10.41pm
:: Mood: calm
I'm very content today. I'm not sure exactly why, but I simply feel content.
There are a few directions I could be going very soon. I'm not quite sure which I will take, or even if I will go anywhere.
I don't see the need to separate yourself because of the things you do to relax. Just because I drink and smoke doesn't make me any better or any worse of a person. Just because I don't believe in a Christian God and don't go to church doesn't mean I'm any better or any worse than anyone else. Just because I've wanted to stop living, or just because I've had premarital sex doesn't make me good or bad.
The way I act, the way I present myself, the way I treat other people is what makes me who I am. You can't decide someone's station by a single action. It's the sum of all the parts, and how those parts are interpreted.
I just felt I need to say that, and that's all.
Goodnight.
Michelle
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imaqinary
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2007 29 January :: 5.27pm
:: Mood: angry
& it all begins like this...
"& so it is....
just like you said it would be."
It's been a long time & I thought I should bring my journal up to date a little bit. First off, Alyssa.
We're great. As perfect as we're ever going to be. I love her & she loves me, we're going to be one big happy family. lol Yeah, we're amazing. Except for not seeing her as much because of homeschooling & now because her parents think we hang out too much (if they only knew....). It sucks. =[ But just one more year, & we'll be away. Away from it all. We'll be together. Able to be with eachother whenever we want. =] It'll be amazing.
Next, John Mayer.
Alyssa & I went to the concert on friday. AMAZING!!! lol Aly & Eric were there as well & our seats weren't very far apart. =] coolness! I got a shirt & Dippin Dots. SCORENESS! hehe. It was an excellent concert. I still can't believe I was like.. 500 ft. or less away from John Mayer. AH!
Third, the Rodeo.
Our quartet, which consists of Lyndsay, Alyssa, myself, & Anjane, sang at the Homestead Rodeo on Sunday. Wow. In 58 years of the Rodeo, we were the first quartet. Pretty awesome. =] We didn't do as well as we should've but there were also things you have to take in account. We were outside, it was windy as hell, their PA system was not very good at all. Of course we could've been better, but we can always be better. Overall it was pretty good.
Well, that was major weekend. hehe.
Also, I'm going to be recording a harmony part on a song for this band Dissever. It's going to be pretty cool. Apparently, I might be singing with them live next week at some show.. but I'm not sure. I'll update if anything.
[ l o v e a l w a y s ]
. g i n a .
i { l o v e } alyssa
.more than the moon & sky.
forever & always
.we'll be together.
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m&ms487
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2007 28 January :: 11.32pm
:: Mood: amused
My face got windburnt from walking to and from my car.
Poo.
Now I know why Rueben doesn't misspell so much these days, Firefox has spell check and it underlines all the words that it think are misspelled.
I find it annoying, but oh well.
I bought those Kool-Aid things today that are plastic and have the twist off caps. It reminds me of being five. They were only $1.00 for six, and I needed some berry cheer.
I finally went and picked up my driver's license. Now, it's time for a job.
Michelle
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m&ms487
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2007 26 January :: 2.10pm
:: Mood: cheerful
I'm having such a good day today!!! I woke up and watched some CNN and my hair was still curled from last night, so I did a touch up and it still looks really great. In American Literature, we were discussing Emily Dickinson, and I had a validating, but short, converstation with the professor and another student about how we admire her life and her convictions, but we don't necessarily like her poetry. Then, in Literary Analysis, I shared my response paper and the professor told me that it was the perfect aim of a Formalistic Critic (probably the best in the class, he said), and the only problem was that I didn't include that the message of piece was desirable, or in that case, that I just didn't include an opinion, which, of course is negotiable, but still a good piece of advice. And, when I walked back to the dorms, the ground was a slushy. but my socks didn't get wet!
I find it a little odd that I'm so cheerful, but it's just one of those days where everything is going right! I'm eating with Rueben in fifteen minutes at the RFoC, and then I'm on to finish up my homework for the week. This leaves all weekend to lounging and mayhaps a bit of cleaning (my side of the room is in sore need of some tidying).
Michelle
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m&ms487
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2007 25 January :: 9.38pm
I went to a social event for Kappa Kappa Psi tonight. It was really great and I'm really excited to join. It's so nice to be with band kids again. Those are the only people you can have debates about legalizing prostitution, abortion, and which star trek series was the best all in the same half an hour.
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m&ms487
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2007 23 January :: 10.47pm
:: Mood: crazy
I just got back from working out with Rueben. I don't understand why the fitness center is so busy at ten thirty at night. It's the only time that we can go together, but I would go in the middle of the day if I had a choice.
I went to an open rush tonight. I'm going to join Kappa Kappa Si. It's music/band co-ed fraternity that is based in service work for the music, mostly band, organizations. I'm excited. Now the only thing left to do is get a job!
I finally figured out how I'm going to get out of college in four years without killing myself. The answer: Summer classes. I have an appointment Thursday with my academic advisor to see if this is a real possibility. I hope it is.
Time to shower, do some homework (Ugh, EDU 107 video quiz), and got to bed. Tomorrow is my busy day (five classes!).
Michelle
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m&ms487
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2007 20 January :: 5.42pm
And the sunset was blood red, a beauty stolen from the flesh. It coursed through the sky and splayed out into the clear blue that held it in. Not a cloud in sight to mar the too perfect spectacle.
Considering this sight, the boy wondered. He wondered in the way a new parent marvels at the ten perfectly tiny fingers and the ten perfectly petite toes of her newborn. A wonder of nature created by man.
For the sunset, the beauty of it all, was only a sign of his destruction. One last plea from the sky before it fell to the hand of man. The blood red was merely a product of his modern life.
The boy turned away from the window as the red faded into the horizon, behind the skeleton trees. The realization of the conception of the wonderfilled sight came to him. It was only then that he understood his place in his world. He would honor, celebrate, and even write of scenes of beauty, but with every car ride to the mountains, every piece of plastic discarded, every flip of a light switch, he would silently acknowledge his part in the murder.
In the last rays of the sun, the blood red shone upon him, casting him in his fitting color.
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m&ms487
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2007 19 January :: 4.10pm
My intro to literary analysis professor proposed a unique idea to my class today. He offered that, at every moment, humans are in one of the five stages of grief. These are onset by loss, and we lose something in every minute that passes in our lives.
Although I have to memorize seventy two words (dealing with literary analysis, such as Accent, Enjambment, and Doggerel) and their definitions in a week and a half, it's still my favorite class this year.
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m&ms487
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2007 14 January :: 2.57am
"I anchor my ship for a little while only,
My messengers continually cruise away or bring their returns to me."
-Walt Whitman "Song Of Myself" from Leaves of Grass
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 36.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
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m&ms487
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2007 13 January :: 10.00pm
:: Mood: contemplative
I was just affirmed in my nerdishness of English Literature. I just watched Bridget Jones's Diary for the first time with Liz, and couldn't help but pick out all the similarities between it and Pride and Predjudice. I'm sure upon more viewings, I could recognize even more similarities. To start, the love interest was named Darcy, there was a phase that started the exact same way as the first line of the novel ("It is a truth universally acknowledged..."), and the relationship between the two love interests was very similar (save modern 'amping up') to that of Wickham and Mr. Darcy. It was all quite interesting.
Waiting for my hair to dry, it's taking an awfully long time.
Happy Saturday, Everyone.
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