::
2016 13 June :: 6.25 am
:: Mood: melancholy
:: Music: Techno stuffs
The End of an Era
I've finally given my final decision in this mess of my love life to all parties involved. I chart my course for North Carolina this evening. I will wait out these last several weeks of my husband's deployment and pick up with him again when he returns. He's a great man to put up with my crap and never lose faith or respect in me, even when I've lost it in myself. I have broken Joe's heart, unfortunately, was talking stupidly of future plans I shouldn't have been making with him. He knew I was married, should have known this wasn't going to go smoothly or end pretty, but I was very convincing because I do love him and if Wolfe wasn't in the picture I truly would want those things with Joe. Joe has never been left like this, never really been burned. I'm only his second girlfriend and the first one he just broke up with about a month ago when I got involved. She and I are on speaking terms again, which both of us are happy about. These poor boys. I'm easy to fall in love with and I absolutely love falling in love, it's the sticking with it once the initial quick burn is over with that's the problem. It isn't really a problem with Wolfe, but he hasn't been here in a while and I just blew up when left to my own devices. Not that it's an excuse. I'm an adult, almost thirty, I should have my shit together by now. ~sigh~ What we're seeing now isn't pretty, but at least our eyes are open. To Wolfe, to Joe, to Lasha: I hurt you all and I love you all and will always devote a piece of my heart to the grievances I've caused here. If I could take all that pain into myself, heal it and give you back something beautiful I would do it in a heartbeat. And I try, but it's hard to figure out how and what to channel.
Word to Your Mother |
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2016 10 June :: 9.31 pm
:: Mood: crappy
:: Music: Factory sounds
A Bad Person Who's Done Good Things
Today one of my husbands friends and superiors called me up, after I texted my husband telling him I wasn't sure I was going to stay with him. This guy emphasized the fact that because of my actions, and mine alone, I have made Wolfe combat-ineffective and he can't be trusted behind a gun right now. And the guy was absolutely right. My husband is more wonderful than I deserve. He himself told me he didn't have the strength to tell me no but he could handle me continuously jerking his chain. He compared me to Humpty Dumpty and said I was teetering on the wall. I'm either going to fall in one direction in which he could maybe save me, or I'll fall in the other and shatter to the point where I will never be put back together again. And that is also true. Through letting him go, a part of me will die and will always regret not having the life he and I planned together and not being there for him in the ways I should have, the ways I vowed to. And I will deserve every second of torture and agony that will bring. I have crossed the line of being a good person who's done bad things and become a bad person who has done some good things. And quite possibly, I will never be able to redeem myself.
Word to Your Mother |
::
2016 6 June :: 12.24 am
:: Mood: Stoned
:: Music: Joe's groovy guitar playing
When last I wrote, I had decided to stay in Massachusetts with Joe instead of going back to my husband in North Carolina, once he comes home. My feelings on this matter have swayed. The idea of leaving things like this between me and Wolfe, not even trying with him for the life we planned together, doesn't sit right with me. Not when I haven't seen him in so long. It's not fair to walk away during something like this. There's no guarantee I won't be back in North Carolina for a while and start thinking to myself, "I don't feel right about this, either. I wish I was back in Massachusetts with Joe." He is holding out some hope for that. I started taking Metformin to help fertility a couple of months back, when Wolfe and I were planning on trying for a baby when he came home, and I'm still on it. I'm not taking any precautions not to get pregnant with Joe; just leaving it all up to chance. And that would change things, in a way, even simplify them....but not really. In any case, I've found myself a job here through a staffing agency, and I'll be sticking around until Wolfe comes home around the beginning of August, so the situation and any and all developments will be reassessed at that time. Cheers!
Word to Your Mother |
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2016 24 May :: 9.51 pm
:: Mood: enthralled
:: Music: Awesomeness
Whirlwind Life and Romance
So, my life has rapidly taken off on a haywire lightning-infused rollercoaster ride. My husband has been deployed since January and I've been living alone in Jacksonville, NC with no job and not much to do. I've lost about 35 lbs. since February through extreme dieting and excessive walking. Early this month I spontaneously decided to drive up to New England to visit with family and friends for the two remaining weeks before I was due to start working towards my Associate's degree in North Carolina. I hung out with my best friend Lasha and her boyfriend, who I'd had a semi-three-way relationship with in years past. Joe, the boyfriend, and I really got to know each other and slept together a lot for a week or so. I realized how screwed up the relationship between Joe and Lasha was and I pointed this out to him. He had a series of revelations about how poorly he was being treated. Lasha hadn't had a job or any schooling in 8-10 years and was being supported entirely by Joe and his father. She never cleaned the apartment, did the dishes, or made much of an effort at all to show she cared or keep her man attracted and interested. They had no communication and no common interests. I'd been alone for a while and not feeling very connected to my husband. Joe and I connected on so many levels and didn't even have to try. Hence, we fell head over heels in love with each other and are now contemplating a future together and working with each other at least in the short term to rise to our highest levels of awesomeness of self. In July, my husband will return and I will decide what the seemingly best course of action should be. For now, I am living with Joe and being happy. I am on my way to a job, a new apartment with him, and so many wonderful adventures. He's left Lasha, she's moved out, and things are hanging in the balance with Tyler. I've done all the laundry, the dishes, and we've cleaned the shit out of this place, though there is still more to be done. Hopefully tomorrow we will find out we've been hired and then we shall ride to North Carolina to collect some of my belongings and take care of some important business that awaits me down there. A lot of people, entire families, have been hurt as a result of my and Joe's actions (mostly mine, I feel), but we are happy, and is that really so wrong? In any case, I am enjoying life and indulging in it. I am grabbing it by the balls and running with it. I am a kite sailing over the beach and the wind may well carry me away, but I will always find a safe landing.
Word to Your Mother |
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2014 29 July :: 11.35 pm
:: Mood: contemplative
Why do I have such a problem being monogamous? I've told my past couple of boyfriends about the fact that I have history of cheating and sleeping around as a kind of warning. I'm fine until someone I'm attracted to comes along, which makes sense, and then it becomes something I fantasize about quite frequently. I have an amazing boyfriend who absolutely does not deserve to be treated like that, which is the only reason I haven't slept with anyone else. If it was any other guy I've dated in the past, I would have done it already and had no ill feelings about it. But he is really good to me. And yet, I find myself still wanted to have sex with other people. One theory is that people feel this way when something is lacking in the relationship, but there couldn't have been the same thing lacking from every relationship I've had and I really don't think that there would be one special person whom I wouldn't want to "step out" on. I get a rush from getting wrapped up in other people, especially when I admire them and find that they are also attracted to me. That's an awesome feeling, because I am so lucky to have someone I think is so cool think I'm pretty awesome, too. So this seems to be just who I am. I don't want to give up what I have because I love TJ and he's amazing. But can I go the entire rest of my life without ever having sex with anyone else? I don't know. Is it inevitable for me to fall in some kind of love/lust with male friends? Must I just not have male friends, or at least not hang out with them in certain settings? That's bullshit, too, but if I can't keep it in my pants, I suppose that's the only way to go. The main problem being that, while I don't want to hurt or lose TJ, I still don't WANT to keep it in my pants. I try so hard to be good but last week there was a situation and since then, for some unimaginable reason, the phrase "unfinished business" keeps flashing through my mind and I keep trying to tell myself to shut up, but it's quite an interesting debate when you are trying to talk yourself out of something while at the same time hoping you'll give in to it. And it would also be nice if it didn't happen. Because I'd like to be able to hang out, go places, do things, things I imagine "normal" friends do together. Whether it's possible or not, I don't know, but I'd like to find out. What I am most worried about is when TJ is away at basic training for three months. How fucked up would it be for me to cheat on him then? Incredibly, worse than if he was here and not using my memory to carry him through bootcamp. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't let emotion get the better of me. Like my various other addictions, if that's what this is, it's something I just have to take day by day and try not to drive myself crazy over (even if it's damn near impossible).
1 Ain't Nobody Got Time For That! |
Word to Your Mother |
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2014 13 May :: 10.36 am
:: Mood: sick
Job Corps
After one year and seven months in the Job Corps system, my time is finally coming to an end. I worked at Amtrak in an internship for about four months and that was great, Tyler signed his contract with the Marines which is also great, and my father told us we could move in with him and my mother in New Hampshire. So on Friday, we will both be flying up and saying good bye to Job Corps forever. It has been a valuable life experience, not only because I met Tyler, but because I got to travel, gain a little more independence, hone in on what it means to be responsible and have a respectable work ethic. The structure if offered showed me that I never want to be stagnant again. I always want to be moving and working towards something. I opened up more to people and made some friends, even. It has been a valuable experience, but for many reasons, some I've already complained about, I am very glad that it will be over in two more days. I look forward greatly to having more adventures with Tyler in New Hampshire and seeing where else the journey of life will take me and what other kinds of things I'll experience.
Word to Your Mother |
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2014 1 April :: 9.17 am
:: Mood: happy
I am so happy!
It turns out that life can be just as trippy when you're stone-cold sober as when you're on drugs. Before, things would happen and I couldn't believe they were real because I was doing so much cough medicine. Now I can't believe things because I never would have thought they could happen to me. I moved down to Washington DC. It ended up being an extremely disappointing place, and I will be wishing it good riddance as I fly away from it for the last time, but I still lived in DC for a year, without my parents. That's huge. I worked directing traffic and for Amtrak. I found an amazing boyfriend, the youngest guy I've ever dated but the absolute best, the only one who's been a real man. My parents like him and even my FATHER is impressed by him, and they haven't even met him yet! Yesterday he signed his contract with the Marine Corps. I am dating a member of the US Marine Corps. How trippy is that?! And at the end of May, we are kissing Job Corps and DC good bye forever and moving in with my parents up in New Hampshire. Home sweet home with my love! SO EXCITED! This will make every Job Corps day a little easier to deal with, because it will all be over soon!
Word to Your Mother |
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2014 29 March :: 10.11 am
:: Mood: pissed off
Some More
Oh yeah. And if you're not fond of unintelligent rap music, which typically consists of getting intoxicated in some manner, sex, and the same things over and over again spoken in the least imaginative intelligent ways possible, then you'd better come prepared with some noise-cancelling headphones and a loud MP3 player. And you'd better get some heavy duty ear plugs if you don't want your sleep interrupted by RAs and student "dorm leaders" busting into your room whenever the hell they feel like it, the stupid, obnoxious black bitches screaming up and down the hallway at all hours of the night because they love attention and think they're cute, or any one of your three roommates' phones going off all fucking note or them screaming in fight on the phone with their significant other or with whomever, sometimes someone in the room, and don't feel like getting bullied, your shit getting stolen, people fucking with you every day, don't ever come here. Also if you don't want to become a racist. I've become a selective racist since I got here and I can't even find it within me to feel bad about that, anymore. Especially since I'm discriminated against for being white! FUCK IT ALL
Word to Your Mother |
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2014 29 March :: 9.49 am
:: Mood: pissed off
Bitch Fest About Job Corps
Job Corps promises to teach you all kinds of things, particularly responsibility and employability skills. Then the staff turns out to be corrupt and hypocritical. Their Zero Tolerance Policy For Drugs and Alcohol is so clearly upheld in a very strict fashion when there are students smoking weed and K2 ON CAMPUS wherever they feel like it! Right in front of the dorms, right in front of the cafeteria, right in front of the rec! There are bullies who will physically push people around and threaten to kill them, but if their victims stand up for themselves, THEY get in trouble! People are kept on after getting into fist fights. The phones in the dorm aren't working, so those of us that don't have cell phones can't talk to our families, the RAs don't have so much as Benedryl or IB Profen in the first aid kit, even though they're supposed to, so if you get sick after Wellness leaves for the day, I hope you have money and enough physical strength to walk the mile to the store and get your own. And through all of this, I still get yelled at and get write-up threats over something as small as hugging my boyfriend. FUCK YOU!!! And if we put a toe out of line, WE'RE the pieces of shit because we should know better and we signed a contract and all of that shit. If it sucks so bad here, I should just leave, but I don't want to leave Tyler behind. I just want all his military stuff to get sorted out so we can find out if he's allowed to move or not. If he isn't, then we'll figure out what to do from there. If he is, we are leaving in May. That is fucking that. Fuck Job Corps.
2 Ain't Nobody Got Time For That!s |
Word to Your Mother |
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2014 21 March :: 11.45 am
a A CORNUCOPIA OF QUESTIONS FOR A RAINY DAY
Created by therian and taken 14915 times on Bzoink | | THE BASICS: | | NAME?: | Laura | | AGE?: | 25 | | BIRTHDAY?: | August 4 | | ASTROLOGICAL SIGN?: | Leo | | EYE COLOR?: | Green | | NATURAL HAIR COLOR?: | Blonde | | HAIR LENGTH?: | Shoulder | | WHERE DO YOU LIVE?: | DC | | WHEN DO YOU GET UP?: | 5:30AM | | WHAT IS YOUR FIRST THOUGHT?: | Fuck... | | WHAT DO YOU DO FIRST?: | Open my eyes | | DO YOU EAT BREAKFAST?: | Yes | | WORK OR SCHOOL?: | Work through school | | HOW MANY HOURS DO YOU WORK OR GO TO SCHOOL EACH WEEK?: | 30 | | WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU GET HOME?: | Snuggle Kitty! | | WHAT TIME DO YOU GO TO BED?: | 11:00PM | | SLEEP ALONE?: | Do stuffed penguins count? | | ANY PETS?: | No, but I have a boyfriend I call "Kitty." | | HERITAGE?: | European? Caucasian? The point is, I'm white. | | SIBLINGS?: | None | | YOUNGEST OR ELDEST?: | Only | | SHOE SIZE?: | 8, typically. | | LEFTY OR RIGHTY?: | Righty | | NICK NAME(S)?: | Laula, Kitty, Kee-kah, Kah | | WHERE WERE YOU BORN?: | Worcester, Massachusetts | | LASTS: | | PERSON YOU TOLD YOU LOVED THEM?: | My boyfriend | | TIME YOU CRIED?: | Last night | | WERE IN A CAR?: | I was in a van on Monday. | | ATE AT A RESTAURANT?: | Yesterday | | SLEPT SOMEWHERE OTHER THAN YOUR OWN BED?: | Last week | | WENT CAMPING?: | Never have I ever. | | SLEPT IN A HOTEL/MOTEL?: | January | | SMOKED A CIGARETTE?: | January 15 | | SAW YOUR PARENTS?: | January 6 | | WERE IN A CLASSROOM / SCHOOL?: | January | | DOWNLOADED SOMETING?: | Yesterday | | MOVIE YOU WATCHED?: | You're Next | | WENT TO THE LIBRARY?: | Tuesday | | WERE SICK?: | Today | | ATE A FRESH PICKED FRUIT OR VEGETABLE?: | Um..... | | PERSON TO CALL YOU?: | My instructor | | PERSON TO TEXT YOU?: | My instructor | | BOOK YOU READ?: | The Plague Year | | SONG YOU HEARD?: | Secrets by OMD | | THE FUTURE: | | GOING TO COLLEGE?: | I hope so. | | PLANNING A TRIP?: | Yes, of some kind. | | PLANNING A MOVE?: | Yes | | MARRIAGE?: | Within the year | | TYPE OF WEDDING?: | Country | | IN A CHURCH?: | No | | BEST MAN / MAID-OF-HONOR?: | I'll have to think on that. | | WHERE DO YOU WANT TO LIVE?: | Somewhere warm, white, and quiet | | WHAT WILL YOUR JOB BE?: | Receptionist? Transportation worker? Anything that pays enough. | | KIDS?: | Hell yeah! | | HOW MANY?: | Two or three | | THEIR NAMES?: | I don't know that yet. | | WHERE WILL YOU RETIRE?: | Somewhere warmer, whiter, and quieter. | | DO YOU CONTRIBUTE TO A 401(K)?: | Not currently. | | YOUR IDEAL PARTNER: | | FIRST THING YOU NOTICE?: | Eyes | | DRINKER?: | Socially | | SMOKER?: | As long as they're not a desperate loser, it's fine. | | HAIR COLOR?: | Typically dark, but blonde works, too. | | HAIR LENGTH?: | Whatever, as long as it's neat and clean. | | EYES?: | Brown or blue | | WEIGHT?: | Not too heavy, unless it's muscle | | HEIGHT?: | Not too much taller than me, but a bit | | STYLE? : | Laid back but not sloppy | | IS MONEY IMPORTANT?: | As long as we can survive | | TATTOOS?: | If they have them/want them | | WANTS KIDS?: | Ideally | | HAS KIDS?: | Preferably not | | WHAT QUALITIES DO YOU LOOK FOR?: | Honesty, humor, compassion, willingness to cope with my weird bullshit | | FAVORITES: | | FAVORITE COLOR?: | Black | | FAVORITE ANIMAL?: | Penguins and kitties! | | FAVORITE PET?: | Kitties! | | FAVORITE AUTOMOBILE?: | Nissan Sentra | | FAVORITE FLOWER?: | Lilac | | FAVORITE MOVIE(S)?: | American Psycho, Falling Down, Bully, Foxfire | | FAVORITE BOOK(S)?: | A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, White Oleander, The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian, Rage | | FAVORITE AUTHOR(S)?: | Janet Fitch, J.K. Rowling, Jackie Morse Kessler, Stephen Lawhead | | FAVORITE SMELLS OR SCENTS?: | Lilac, liquor stores, my boyfriend's phermones | | FAVORITE MALE NAME(S)?: | Benjamin | | FAVORITE FEMALE NAME(S)?: | Allison | | FAVORITE NON-ALCOHOLIC DRINK?: | Almond milk | | FAVORITE FOODS?: | Pizza, chicken fingers, broccoli | | FAVORITE PICTURE OR ARTIST?: | Your....mom? | | FAVORITE SEASON/TIME OF YEAR?: | Summer! | | FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK? WHY?: | Friday (duh!) | | FAVORITE VACATION SPOT?: | Cape Cod | | FAVORITE CANDY?: | CARAMEL!!! | | FAVORITE TV CHANNEL?: | None | | FAVORITE TV SHOW/SHOWS?: | None | | FAVORITE ACTOR?: | Christian Bale | | FAVORITE ACTRESS?: | Jennifer Connelly | | FAVORITE DESSERT?: | Banana cream pie | | FAVORITE ICE CREAM?: | Caramel cups and swirls and shit | | FAVORITE HOBBY?: | Reading | | FAVORITE HOLIDAY?: | Christmas | | FAVORITE QUOTE?: | "If the law is of such a nature that it requires you to be the agent of injustice to another, then I say, break the law!" ~Henry David Thoreau | | FAVORITE BIBLE VERSE?: | None | | FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPINGS?: | Pineapple and ham! | | FAVORITE SOAP?: | Jergens....or Dial....or anything that cleans me... | | FAVORITE STORE?: | The thrift store! | | FAVORITE COLOGNE OR PURFUME?: | Haiku | | FAVORITE GEM?: | Emerald, sapphire, or garnet | | TALENTS: | | ANY SECRET TALENTS?: | Singing, writing | | PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?: | My vocal chords | | ROLLERSKATE?: | Yeah | | SKATEBOARD?: | Hell no | | MOONWALK?: | No :( | | EAT WITH CHOPSTICKS?: | Yup | | COOK?: | Some | | SING?: | Yeah! | | MULTI-TASK?: | Yup | | DO BACKBENDS?: | No | | A SPLIT?: | NO!! | | DANCE?: | Hahahaha...yeah, right... | | HAVE A GPA HIGHER THAN 3.9?: | If I tried hard enough, maybe I could. | | KNOW ALL THE WORDS TO THE NATIONAL ANTHEM?: | No | | ARE YOU DOUBLE-JOINTED?: | I don't think so | | CAN YOU SPEAK MORE THAN ONE LANGUAGE?: | Yeah, English and Stupid | | DO YOU KNOW HOW TO CHANGE A TIRE?: | No, but I should. | | DO YOU KNOW HOW TO CHANGE YOUR OIL?: | See above. | | DO YOU KNOW HTML?: | No | | DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE CORRECT KEYS?: | Yes, I took classes. | | CAN YOU SEW?: | A bit | | CAN YOU KNIT?: | No | | WALK ON STILTS?: | No | | HULA HOOP?: | I doubt it | | HIGH SCHOOL: | | BEST FRIENDS?: | Lisa, Julie, Natasha, Brianna, Denae, Jess | | BEST SUBJECT?: | English | | LEASE FAVORITE SUBJECT?: | Math | | FAVORITE TEACHER?: | No comment | | SCHOOL'S MASCOT?: | Panther | | SCHOOL'S COLORS?: | Orange and black | | EVER SENT TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE?: | Not the principal's office. The counselor's office, on the other hand... | | SUSPENDED?: | No | | EVER PRETEND TO BE SICK TO GET OUT OF CLASS?: | Probably | | BAGGED LUNCH OR SCHOOL LUNCH?: | School | | USE YOUR LUNCH MONEY FOR SOMETHING OTHER THAN FOOD?: | Usually | | WERE YOU POPULAR?: | I wouldn't describe myself as such, but I was popular amongst my friends. | | NAME OF BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND?: | Brianna | | BIGGEST REGRET?: | Not working up to my potential | | DID YOU SMOKE?: | Yes | | DRINK ALCOHOL?: | Yes | | DRUGS?: | Yes | | WHAT WERE YOUR FAVORITE SHOES?: | Worn out sneakers | | MEMORABLE SONGS OR BANDS?: | We're Not Gonna Take It, Coldplay, System of a Down | | SKIP CLASS?: | A lot | | SKIP SCHOOL?: | Sometimes | | BELIEFS: | | SANTA CLAUS?: | Until I was 11 | | MAGIC?: | I'm unsure | | TRUE LOVE?: | Yes | | DIVORCE?: | I'd rather not, but it's better sometimes. | | HEAVEN?: | Not sure | | HELL?: | Probably | | GOD AND/OR JESUS?: | Probably | | LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT?: | Something like that | | GHOSTS OR SPIRITS?: | Yes | | THE DEVIL?: | Yes | | UFO'S & ALIENS?: | We can't possibly be the only life in the universe | | BIG FOOT?: | I don't even care | | THE AFTERLIFE?: | Something like it | | REINCARNATION?: | Never thought about it | | SOUL MATES?: | Yes | | ACCUPUNCTURE?: | I don't know | | OCCULT?: | Yes | | KARMA?: | Yes | | ANGELS?: | Yes | | RANDOM: | | LONGEST FRIEND(S) & FOR HOW LONG?: | Natasha, for about 20 years | | WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?: | Jeans, bright blue button-down, brown tank top, black office shoes | | HOW MANY CARS HAVE YOU OWNED?: | Three | | ARE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE?: | Yes | | FURTHEST PLACE YOU EVER TRAVELED?: | Florida, from Massachusetts | | WHAT DO YOU COLLECT?: | Books, pens, stuffed penguins | | HOW DO YOU RELAX?: | I typically don't. But I like music a LOT. | | WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT?: | Explored DC, had McDonald's, and cried | | IF YOU COULD TURN BACK TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?: | Corey's death, how hard I worked in high school, my retarded emo-ness and other blatant fuck-ups | | IF GIVEN A MILLION DOLLARS WHAT'S ONE THING YOU WOULD BUY?: | A car | | DO YOU LIKE INCENSE?: | Yes | | DO YOU HAVE A TATTOO?: | I have five, actually. | | WHAT'S THE STORY BEHIND YOUR FIRST NAME?: | My parents thought it was pretty. BAM! | | DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?: | I do. | | WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?: | Bananas, cats, sweet orange peppers | | DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?: | I cry at everything | | HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?: | Scrambled | | IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?: | Yes | | ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS?: | Somewhat, I guess. | | DO YOU SNORE?: | I don't think so. Maybe lightly. | | WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?: | Actively, nothing. Deactively, cough medicine, weed, and cigarettes | | ARE YOU WEARING SOCKS?: | Yes | | WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO RETIRE?: | I told you; somewhere warm, white, and quiet. | | HOW DID YOU CELEBRATE YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY?: | In a motel room with some alcohol and my boyfriend | | DO YOU CARRY A DONOR CARD?: | I do not. | | DO YOU VOLUNTEER OR DONATE TO ANYTHING?: | Not regularly | | HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU MOVED?: | Four | | WHAT'S THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT YOURSELF, JUST FOR FUN?: | Movies | | ARE YOUR PARENTS STILL MARRIED?: | Yes | | LONGEST RELATIONSHIP?: | Five years | | SHORTEST RELATIONSHIP?: | A few hours | | ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?: | Not the dark itself, but what could be lurking within it | | ARE YOU SHY AROUND THE OPPOSITE SEX?: | Extremely, sometimes | | WORST FEAR?: | Fear itself | | THIS OR THAT: | | ARE YOU A MORNING PERSON OR A NIGHT OWL?: | Both | | SHOWER OR BATH?: | Shower | | CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?: | Creamy | | ORANGE JUICE OR APPLE?: | Apple | | CHIPS OR POPCORN?: | Popcorn | | COKE OR PEPSI?: | Coke | | MONEY OR LOVE?: | Love | | COFFEE OR TEA?: | Coffee | | DOG OR CAT?: | KITTY! | | DISHES OR LAUNDRY?: | Laundry | | HARDWOOD FLOORS OR CARPET?: | Hardwood | | CITY OR COUNTRY?: | Country | | FANCY RESTAURANT OR ROAD-SIDE DINER?: | Diner | | SUMMER OR WINTER?: | Summer | | GOLD OR SILVER?: | Silver | | CAR OR TRUCK?: | Car | | BRAINS OR LOOKS?: | Brains | | SCARY MOVIE OR COMEDY?: | Same thing | | HUGS OR KISSES?: | Kisses | | CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?: | Vanilla | | HAVE YOU EVER: | | EATEN SUSHI?: | I've tried it. It's gross. | | BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?: | Many a time. | | BEEN ON A TRAIN?: | Only subway trains | | BEEN IN AN AMBULANCE?: | Yes | | BEEN IN LOVE MORE THAN ONCE?: | Twice, so far | | HITCH HIKED?: | No | | HAD TO WEAR A UNIFORM TO SCHOOL/WORK?: | Yes | | ORDERED FROM AN INFOMERCIAL?: | No | | WON A TROPHY?: | Yes | | STUCK YOUR TONGUE ON A 9 VOLT BATTERY?: | No hahaha | | BEEN IN A CAR ACCIDENT?: | Yes | | PLAYED TWISTER?: | Yes | | MADE A PRANK PHONE CALL?: | No | | DATED MORE THAN ONE PERSON AT ONE TIME?: | Yes | | BEEN BUNGEE JUMPING OR SKY DIVING?: | No | | CLIMBED A MOUNTAIN?: | Yes | | GONE ON A PITY DATE?: | Plenty | | GONE ON A BLIND DATE?: | No | | RODE A BIKE WITHOUT HANDS?: | No | | GONE TP-ING?: | No | | SHOT A GUN?: | No | | BEEN TO NEW YORK CITY?: | No | | BEEN TO ANOTHER COUNTRY?: | Canada? | | BROKEN A BONE?: | Yes | | HAD STITCHES?: | Yes | | HAD SURGERY?: | Yes | | BEEN ON STAGE?: | Yes | | PUT A PLAYING CARD IN THE SPOKES OF YOUR BICYCLE?: | No | | STAYED IN A HOSPITAL FOR MORE THAN A WEEK?: | Yes | | BEEN TO AN ADULT STORE?: | Hell yeah! | | WISHED ON A SHOOTING STAR?: | Yes | | HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN?: | Yes | | BROKEN SOMEONE ELSE'S HEART?: | Yes | | PUT A HAIR PIN IN A POWER SOCKET?: | Um...no. | | BEEN CHEATED ON?: | Yes | | MADE YOUR BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND/SPOUSE CRY?: | Yes | | LOVED SOMEONE WHO DIDN'T LOVE YOU BACK?: | It wasn't "love," but I've been attracted to people who didn't reciprocate. | | BEEN TO A DRIVE-IN MOVIE?: | No | | BEEN TO A PSYCHIC OR FORTUNE-TELLER?: | No | | SEEN A GHOST?: | Possibly | | RUN AWAY FROM HOME AS A KID?: | No | | BEEN IN A POLICE CRUISER?: | Yes | | BEEN IN HAND CUFFS?: | Yes | | BEEN ARRESTED?: | No | | LAIN IN AN OPEN FIELD AT NIGHT?: | Yes | You've been totally Bzoink*d!
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Word to Your Mother |
::
2014 4 March :: 2.48 pm
Ways To Kill Time At Work
85 Things you Didn't Know About Yourself
Created by housenut and taken 158 times on Bzoink | | *~*~*Basic*~*~* | | Name:: | Laura | | Age:: | 25 | | Eye Color:: | Green | | Hair Color:: | Blonde | | Height:: | 5'5" | | Weight:: | 200lbs. | | *~*~*Favorites*~*~* | | Movie:: | Thirteen | | Color:: | Black | | Type of Music:: | Techno | | Band:: | Sabrepulse | | Singer:: | Chad Kroeger | | Number:: | 13 | | Letter:: | S | | Book:: | A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius | | Food:: | Pizza | | *~*~*Have You Ever?*~*~* | | Drank:: | Yes | | Smoked:: | Yes | | Done drugs:: | Yes | | Kissed someone of the opposite sex:: | Yes | | Kissed someone of the same sex:: | Yes | | Had sex:: | Yes | | Had a car accident:: | Yes | | Had a seizure:: | Yes | | Broken a bone:: | Yes | | Been hospitalized:: | Yes | | Been to another city:: | Yes | | Been to another state:: | Yes | | Been to another country:: | Yes | | Been to another continent:: | No | | Been beaten up:: | No | | Beaten up someone else:: | No | | Cut yourself:: | Yes | | Attempted suicide:: | No | | Been arrested:: | No | | *~*~*Love*~*~* | | Do you have a crush:: | No | | What is his/her name:: | None | | Are you single or taken:: | Taken | | Are you in love:: | Yes | | Longest relationship:: | Five years | | Shortest relationship:: | Seven hours | | *~*~*This or That*~*~* | | Black or white:: | White | | Up or Down:: | Up | | Life or Death:: | Life | | Guy or Girl:: | Guy | | Ice cream or cake:: | Ice cream | | Rock or rap:: | Rock | | Pop or country:: | Country | | Evanescence or Weird Al:: | Evanescence | | Avril Lavigne or Nelly:: | Avril Lavigne | | Hot or cold:: | Hot | | Strangled or shot:: | Shot | | Drive or walk:: | Drive | | Alone or with others:: | Alone | | Reading or writing:: | Reading | | Math or science:: | Science | | Question or answer:: | Question | | Lost or found:: | Found | | Dark or light:: | Dark | | Blind or deaf:: | Blind | | *~*~*The Last*~*~* | | Thing you said:: | Wednesday works better for her | | Shoes you wore:: | L.L. Bean snow boots | | Food you ate:: | Green apple candy | | Thing you drank:: | Water | | Person you said hi to:: | Taylor | | Person you said bye to:: | Security Guard | | Time you looked at the clock:: | 30 seconds ago | | *~*~*Current*~*~* | | Mood:: | Defeated | | Music you're listening to:: | Sabrepulse | | Shoes you're wearing:: | New Balance Sneakers | | Book you're reading:: | I Hunt Killers | | *~*~*Finish the Quote*~*~* | | I wish I were...:: | tripping | | My heart is...:: | torn | | The glass is...:: | half full | | People just need...:: | to shut the fuck up | | The world is...:: | an interesting place | | To be or...:: | not to be | | Laughter is...:: | the very best medicine | You've been totally Bzoink*d!
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Word to Your Mother |
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2014 30 January :: 2.38 pm
:: Mood: amused
A bunch of crap that might bore you
I'm the man in the box. Actually the girl in the box, but close enough. I don't want to be in this little office right now, but the receptionist is out and since I've been trained in here, I am covering. I wanted to be in office communications class, where one of my non-lovers is. The other non-lover is in keyboarding class, the class I am actually scheduled to be in right now. Since I am done in keyboarding (and office communications, actually), it doesn't matter where I am. But the non-lover in OC makes for better eye candy, which is as far as anything will ever go because I am dating my future husband, so this time, not cheating really is necessary. For the most part I excel at being a girlfriend, but I am somewhat crappy at monogamy. I become attracted to people or there are people I've had previous sexual encounters with and it just becomes difficult to keep my metaphorical dick in my pants. In other news, I feel like getting all kinds of fucked up and disappearing into some tropical fantasy land for a while, but as real life has finally struck me as worthwhile, I shall have to satisfy myself by feasting on my imagination.
3 Ain't Nobody Got Time For That!s |
Word to Your Mother |
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2014 9 January :: 6.26 pm
:: Mood: crushed
Right now I really just want to call my parents and tell them, Forget it, fuck it, fuck being a grown up, I just want to come home and hide from the world.
Word to Your Mother |
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2014 6 January :: 5.03 pm
:: Mood: content
Back in DC after a week of being home. It was a crazy fucking break, I'll just say that. So much fun, such a feeling of freedom, driving, smoking, hanging out, and having some time to myself from my boyfriend. I have to figure out what to do with him. I love him, a lot, it's just...constricting. And after a taste of my former free-loving hippie lifestyle, I want more. Why not join a love triangle? Why not make it a love quadrangle? That would never work, I'm sure of it, but hey, no harm in suggesting it when I figure out how to go about having this conversation. My two best friends want me to live with them and I would love that SO much! Especially compared to staying in the DC area. This place depresses me and makes me sick, I CAN'T DO IT. If I am going to be paying to live somewhere, you're damn right it's going to be somewhere I WANT to live. So we'll see what happens. Tune in next time for more of my Adventures in DC Land.
Word to Your Mother |
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2013 22 November :: 9.57 am
:: Mood: amused
"Why don't I call you a cab? Though, it's gonna be hard to find one that'll go to Hell this time of night!"
~Elliot Richards from Bedazzled
In other news, I start my traffic directing job this afternoon. Wish me luck!
Word to Your Mother |
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