Yesterday I had to work a full day 8-3:30 and I was so cold and wet. Denee and I went insane! We just couldn't take anymore corn! We just couldn't!!! We just were totally pshcotic. We were screaming, laughing, yelling, giggling, freaking out about everything. Then half way through the field we just jumped off the tractor and ran down our row screaming and laughing lol it was the funniest thing ever. Lol we just seriously were about to break down we were so crazy. I couldn't even look at the corn anymore, I couldn't remember what a tassel was so I was just picking everything and laughing so hard I like almost started crying. hehe good times. Jeff backed up the tractor though and made us get back on, but we had such a fun crew all we did was screw around and laugh and freak out, but Robin and Megan were on our crew and kept throwing tassels at Danielle for no reason, and people were getting really annoyed and pissed. So we saved up all our tassels in our hoodies for a entire row and then pelted them with all of them at the end. Danielle, Denee, Dustin, Sarah, Steers, and me. Without them our crew would be awsome. It was so cold though, and I didn't have my big yellow jumper pants and jacket because I let this boy who didn't have anything on but a tee shirt use mine, and he didn't give them back!!! grrrr I was freezing my butt off and I had to pee like a race horse soooooo bad all day! I just never went lol but enough about that. At lunch we all just layed on each other and refused to get up and ahh it was so just crazy. Everyone was so nuts all we did was luagh all day and act like five year olds. The highlight hehehehehe when me amy danielle and denee were laughing about the retarded arm humping. lol ahhhh ok enough about the farm lol it makes me a crazy person. "You're like a friecken monkey on crack"

I'm so glad my parents are gone till Monday. They have to do this thing for my Grandpa, who by the way is doing a lot better!!! He was realesed from the hospital today, and he is starting kemo next week. How the poor man will have energy left to do anything, is blows my mind, but I guess we'll just have too see. My aunt, there isn't much they can do. They found out really late, and unfourtanatelly she doens't want to try kemo because the chances of it not helping much are very high. I just try not to think about the bad while things are at the worst moment as they could be. Things are just setteling down for a while, I don't want to see it change untill it has too. Which it will, I know it, everyone knows it, but keeping calm while we can is really the only choice at this point.

So he's pretty much gone, and even though I didn't think I was okay with it, I am now. There are so many more times when I will feel like this. I may have pushed you away, and fell flat on my face, but you knew as much as me, I couldn't handle anymore than what we had. I tryed for your sake, but more so for mine. Because for once I wanted someone there to catch me when I fall, not just fall and pick myself up and try all over again. You're just a boy, with a car, with a heart, with brains, and I'm just a 15 year old girl who just isn't ready too handle something as serious as that could have been. I would have rather screwed it up now, then later. Because it just isn't a big deal. It's just not, and won't be for a long time.

I miss my Jess. Nobody understands my crazy life and thinks I'm as stupid as I really am but loves me anyway. I could live without most people, but not my best friend.

I don't know if I want school to start or not. I've been wanting it too, and a part of me still does, but then theres a big part of me who just wants to take the time I have left before my life gets more hectic and crazy and just use it to my advantage.

I'm going to the whitecaps game tomorrow WITH FIREWORKS!!! yay!!!!!! I'm so excited. That'll cheer me up for sure.

This whole thing has pushed me to my limits, and shown me just what my limits are, and a lot of limits I never knew I had.

I LOVE YOU PAPPY!!!!!

Jenna I miss you! Hope you're having fun!

~jess

What are your thoughts?