stay_c
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2005 10 October :: 9.52pm
I need to make better choices...
I've officially decided that I'm not going to make anymore stupid choices. No more sex, no more weed, a cutback in drinking, etc. I need to clean up my act and stop being stupid and find real happiness.
My friends are starting to worry about me so I know what I'm doing to myself is affecting them and that's not cool with me. I'm the problem solver, not the problem creator.
I don't think I'm going to hang out with Buck as much. Might cutback on going to Java Jack's, it's getting way crowded in there anyways. I'm deffinately going to try breaking away from Bobby also. That will be hard until December but I can do it.
Jack I'm not going to be able to get away from, and I don't want to. He's awesome. I'm just going to be smarter when I'm around him from now on. I'm going to have Drew and Chrissy make sure of that.
I have discovered that my friends really do care about me with everything I've been doing lately though. That truly does help make me happier and want to stop hurting them with my choices.
I just wish I completely understood why I made the choices I did. Drinking is fine, all my friends join me with that one so I'm not really worried about it. The weed with Jack was a "gotta try it once" kind of moment, probably won't happen again. The unprotected sex with guys I don't really know much about on the other hand is what could be the most dangerous for me, and that's the main reason of everyone's worry. I promised Connie that I would stop. I'm going to do my hardest to live up to that promise.
Today is the starting of a better me... I hope.
God help me with this.
What are your thoughts?
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stay_c
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2005 10 October :: 9.38pm
Do this now!
Add the word 'jessa' to your woohu interests.
Do it.... because Jessa is the coolest person in the universe!
And everyone should love her!
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Shinigami
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2005 7 October :: 12.38am
Happy 21st birthday Mat!
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stay_c
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2005 5 October :: 12.28am
Currently Listening: Stuff from Java Jack's... Fricken Awesome Shit!
Deffinately hungout with Buck all afternoon. It was pretty fun. I think we kinda finally broke our communication issues. And some of his friends are starting to know me a little and I'm feeling more accepted by them. Yay for me.
What are your thoughts?
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stay_c
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2005 2 October :: 8.55pm
I had a fucking awesome weekend!
Friday night Drew left me for Jack...Asshole! Lol. But I hung out with Chrissy, Brandon, Connie, Jeff, Ryan and Brian. I got drunk off my ass. The craziest thing was when Brian called the house at 1:30am and needed us to come pick him up from Belmont. That was funny as hell. He's just damn lucky I was able to understand what the hell he was saying after 10+ beers and some Smirnoff Screwdrivers and that Chrissy was still sober enough to drive. Saturday I was in town all day for Red Flannel stuff. I sunburnt my face...oh well at least it wasn't snowing this year! Saturday night I went couples bowling with Brian, Drew,and Katie. It freaked Brian out when I had to bowl between his legs! It was funny as hell. I love that Brian is 21... While bowling we split 2 pitchers of beer. He was crunked! My first impression of Katie wasn't all that great. Her friends are even worse (more stuck up) I think, but I'm not going to stop Drew from anything. I'll just tell him that I told him so... I can be such a bitch sometimes!
I deffinately decided I want to hangout with Brian more often. I just have to make sure I don't end up with a crush on him because I don't need that many issues in my life right now.
What are your thoughts?
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shinigami
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2005 2 October :: 9.32am
I weighed myself yesterday to see if I had gained weight and apperently I've lost weight. I am now 114lbs.
[edit@10:50am]
Can someone help me with PhotoShop? I don't know how to make part of my picture transparent. ^_^;
4 Thoughts |
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shinigami
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2005 28 September :: 1.04am
:: Mood: content, loved
Today was a good day. ^_^
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Iron-Cipher
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2005 27 September :: 10.49pm
:: Mood: nostalgic
:: Music: vertical horizion - Everything you want
just a blink of an eye
So here I sit in my bed staring at a blank scren trying to figure out what to say. I'm not sure if it is because i don't know where to start or if I'm not sure that it would mater. It's just another journal entry right? Wel then why am i rambling.
So I moed out of my parents house prety much the night i graduated. I just reccently started renting a house in GR. My house is over by heritage hils near GRCC. It is on Franklin and Madison. They call it the mayflower because it used to be painted mayflower.
I live here with my bestfreind Ben, my sister Katti, Her boyfriend Oliver, Jim his supervisor, and Travis Jim's underling. Life is interesting lately. I work from 10 until 4 monday through friday, and I go to class most of the time from 6 - 9 monday through thursday. Life seems a litle exhuasting sometimes, and i hope that it doesn't alway keep this pace.
I am madly in love with Rachel Harper Greggs, and i can't wait until she has the same last name. Yes sometimes we fight and sometimes we drie eachother crazy, but i have never felt this in love with anyone, and I don't think I would want to. Like I said she drives me abosutely mad, but I love her to death! Live gets crazy for us sometimes and leaves us spinning but i guess we really have two opitions in the end anyway, hold onto eachother as tight as we can and see where we end up, or let go... Personaly I think that the second sounds like less of an adventure.
Rachel is such an amazing person. She cares so much about everything and everybody. She has such a beautiful imagination that is capable oof such spectacular things, and yet at the same time the worst of nighmares. i love being with her, i love her smile. I love the way that she laughs. I love her eyes. I love her.
Well I know that you are wondering when you can stop reading, and I guess that was a few paragraphs ago. But if you feel persistent, her it is! I miss you all. the people that i grew up with. went to school with. Annoyed. I just wonder what's going on in your lifes. How are you doing on this new adventure? Are you there? Are you reading this? I love you all regardless of any stupid bad blood between us. If you feel up to it leave a reply. Say hi! Leave an e-mail address where i can drop a line or something. Good luck and God bless on your adventures.
7 Thoughts |
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shinigami
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2005 27 September :: 12.03am
:: Music: Evanescence - Taking Over Me
You don't remember me but I remember you
I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you
but who can decide what they dream?
And dream I do...
I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live to breathe
you're taking over me
have you forgotten all I know
and all we had?
you saw me mourning my love for you
and touched my hand
I knew you loved me then
I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live to breathe
you're taking over me
I look in the mirror and see your face
if I look deep enough
so many things inside that are just like you are taking over
I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live to breathe
you're taking over me
I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live to breathe
you're taking over me
Taking over me
Your Taking Over Me
Taking over me
Taking over me
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stay_c
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2005 26 September :: 10.56pm
Well I can feel the stress for the week building already. Multiple projects to work on for design, the first exam in Turf, a math test and complete chaos in my english class because no one knows what the hell is going on. YAY! And now Bobby doesn't think he'll be coming to Cedar this weekend...grr and arrg at him!
Yeah Allen deffinately just tore into me about needing to stop all the casual/friends with benefits sex that I have because he doesn't want to see me get hurt. I know he's probably right, but there is no way I can just completely cut ties with Bobby right now. It's going to be hard enough to do that in December when he leaves....
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Shinigami
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2005 26 September :: 1.07am
Someone tear my heart out. Just make the pain go away...
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shinigami
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2005 22 September :: 7.41am
Did any of you watch Captain Planet when you were a kid? I was looking at this comic here and got to thinking...those kids had awesome power over the elements. What if someone took over control of those kids and used them for evil? Or they wanted to do bad things because of the emo-years? Wouldn't that be scary?
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shinigami
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2005 19 September :: 9.58pm
I think...I'm going to stay at Macaroni Grill.
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shinigami
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2005 15 September :: 8.00am
Happy Two year anniversary Mat!
Read more..
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