Don't look back, you can never look back.

:: 2005 11 March :: 8.39pm

Taurus - Your Love Profile

Your positive traits:

You tend to stick with relationships - through the good and the bad.
You are a great listener and tend to give valuable advice.
Cautious and careful, you never jump in recklessly... saving yourself from heartbreak.

Your negative traits:

Money is very important to you, so much so that it's a cause of arguments in relationships.
If your lover isn't loyal or attentive enough to you, your eyes start to wander...
You tend to keep things inside - so your partner may not know when or why you're upset.

Your ideal partner:

Is stable, serious, and ready to be committed to you.
Is successful and able to provide you with the lifestyle you crave.
A true romantic, who is willing to express their desire for your heart.

Your dating style:

Comfortable and traditional. You'd love to have a nice meal at a cozy restaurant.

Your seduction style:

Love comes first for you before you'd even think of intimacy.
Traditional: you're not a cold fish - but you're not into kink either.
Pleasing... you always make sure that your partner is having a good time.

Tips for the future:

Be willing to change your mind. Who you think is the love of your life may be very wrong for you.
Try listening to your mate. While your stubborn streak is hard to break, sometimes your partner knows best.
Ligthen up! The first months of a relationship should be about fun, not intentions.

Best place to meet someone online:

American Singles - peek in on how much potential dates make, and what they do for a living.

Best color to attract mate: Pale blue

Best day for a date: Friday

4 <3//s | [xXx]

:: 2005 9 March :: 7.48pm

i watched my bird flailing in its cage today and i thought about what what happening.. its greatest gift had been taken away, the gift of flight. a couple weeks ago my cat attacked it and it can no longer fly.. we never clipped its wings because birds are given teh gift to fly the ultimate freedom.. and now this bird sits in his cage, alone without its god given right.. its freedom.. and for that i feel sadness, i feel the world is unjust and i feel that nothing should be held back from what it is destined to be, or do. i watch and it struggle to fly.. struggle to get back the freedom the gift it was given and it doesnt understand.. it doesnt know why it cant fly.. it doesnt know why it cant be free.. i know why the caged bird sings..

Cocopuff

:: 2005 8 March :: 8.13pm

oops

Cocopuff

:: 2005 8 March :: 8.12pm
:: Mood: sick

this makes me so happy!!

Cocopuff

:: 2005 7 March :: 8.52pm
:: Mood: sad

"why does the lonely bird follow? and why does the happy bird lead? why does the sky reflect beauty and freedom why do these oceans reflect hate. why does the sun set each day farther away making for a pain we'll regret. why does life keep on going, without regards to me, or people i havent met. why am i destined to feel, like im destined for nothing at all? and why does god let us climb up so high if hes going to let us fall? why does this earth continue turning, and why wont my heart cease to beat? why does the wind keep howling why do we sweat when in heat? why do my eyes slowly follow, your shadow as you enter a room? why am i forced to be different? why am i forced to be doomed. why is this fate all around me? its in me its in you its in hate.. why does it move like a sun beam, with no need to hesiatate. why does my heart reak of depression? and why doesnt the world overflow with tears? after all of this sadness, id figure itd happen over the years. too many people feel sadness, too many children know pain. too much has gone left unspoken.. too much is lost along the way. weve lost so much in translation. theres no hope in ever turning back.. weve stopped at this time lost here in space.. evolution is now what we lack.. why have we begun to regress, and fall further behind in lifes plan? why do the trees grow, the moon shine, the child wish? and why arent you with me today? why do we bleed when were broken? why am i kicked when im down. why can we be sad when we smile? but never happy when we frown? why does the world strive to be fake? why cant we just show whats real? in a world where bigger is better, why is it that we all must conceal? why do my words hit your earlobes so lightly, but your heart and head so strong? because these questions burn in your brain, in this time, in this world, and they have for so long.. your conscience will follow, but why will it never speak? never tell you what to do, what to say what to think, but make you feel bad at the choices you make, and the risks that you take. why does the heart know only one beat, and blue bird sing only one song? the people around you protect you.. and keep walking beside you on this web of life..until finally youve turned wrong.." by Amanda Maltz... my hero and the love of my life

xoxchubbyxox

:: 2005 7 March :: 7.47pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: sixteen candles. (on tv)

blahh
im actually updating twice in one day. idk why...im just really bored.

i hate school.

i miss my old life.

thats all i guess...

:-/

:: 2005 7 March :: 5.46pm

I NEED SEX IM HAVING WITHDRAWLS!!

its like nothing else in the world matters to you.. no problems nobody else just you your heartbeat and the one your embracing.. its like the world is falling down around you and you dont seem to care. nothing is as important as that satisfying moment which continues for hours if lucky.. its like in that moment your wrapped in all the love, all the want, all the lust in the world.. for that split second your in love.. ofr that split second your happy.. and then as quickly as it came.. your back where you began..

read me

"why does the lonely bird follow? and why does the happy bird lead? why does the sky reflect beauty and freedom why do these oceans reflect hate. why does the sun set each day farther away making for a pain we'll regret. why does life keep on going, without regards to me, or people i havent met. why am i destined to feel, like im destined for nothing at all? and why does god let us climb up so high if hes going to let us fall? why does this earth continue turning, and why wont my heart cease to beat? why does the wind keep howling why do we sweat when in heat? why do my eyes slowly follow, your shadow as you enter a room? why am i forced to be different? why am i forced to be doomed. why is this fate all around me? its in me its in you its in hate.. why does it move like a sun beam, with no need to hesiatate. why does my heart reak of depression? and why doesnt the world overflow with tears? after all of this sadness, id figure itd happen over the years. too many people feel sadness, too many children know pain. too much has gone left unspoken.. too much is lost along the way. weve lost so much in translation. theres no hope in ever turning back.. weve stopped at this time lost here in space.. evolution is now what we lack.. why have we begun to regress, and fall further behind in lifes plan? why do the trees grow, the moon shine, the child wish? and why arent you with me today? why do we bleed when were broken? why am i kicked when im down. why can we be sad when we smile? but never happy when we frown? why does the world strive to be fake? why cant we just show whats real? in a world where bigger is better, why is it that we all must conceal? why do my words hit your earlobes so lightly, but your heart and head so strong? because these questions burn in your brain, in this time, in this world, and they have for so long.. your conscience will follow, but why will it never speak? never tell you what to do, what to say what to think, but make you feel bad at the choices you make, and the risks that you take. why does the heart know only one beat, and blue bird sing only one song? the people around you protect you.. and keep walking beside you on this web of life..until finally youve turned wrong.."

i need you here with me
wont you stay next to me
ill love you endlessly
tonight... ill take you for a ride

wont you come lay with me
ill give you everything
ill be your slave tonight...
ill take you for a ride

(chorus)
its like these warning signs around me
Cant be seen when im with you
like all that surrounds me
suddenly they hide behind you

im blind and maybe im stupid
ill let the whole world see
i just cant stand to be lonely..
i just cant stand to be me

i need to see you face
brown eyes so calm and collected
ill love you endlessly
i'll take you for a ride..

(chorus)

beat me
hide me
hold me
take me
rape me
save me
its on tonight

wont you just stop your games?
im sick of hearing names
of all the other girls
your getting with tonight

wont you just stop and see
all the happiness our life could bring
id love you endlessly
ill be your slave tonight..

(chorus)

--

silver and gold
it never
gets old
im trying
to grow
to go
to places you wont go

walk alone
and come up behind me
im all that you can see
walk faster
breathing louder
and you know that you can have me if you want

(chorus)
im not your average girl
im never gonna let you down
im not the girls you been with before
ill never let you down

black and blue
im falling into you
im dancing on the edge
the silence in my head
is mocking all my tones
its making me feel old
and cry all night in bed

run again
and your right behind me
stepping on the heals of my shoes
you need me just as bad as i need you
but you can have me any time you please

(chorus)

the heat is up
im sweating profusely
our bodies
collide
in teh night
all i want
is to feel right

in love
in hate
in life
its too late
ill come
ill wait
for your love
wont hesitate
all i need
is a kiss
all i need
is this fake bliss...

xoxchubbyxox

:: 2005 7 March :: 2.54pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: lovers and friends

fun vacation
well i spent the first part of my vacation in vermont and then NH skiing nd the like... then i went to NATICK woohoo! lol it was very fun! i stayed with nikkie from wednesday night to saturday morning. i went to school on thursday which was awesome and then ate at georges and hung around julies! then we came home and ate georges pizza again.

then on friday we went out to ac moore and sears and i painted tinkerbell on nikkies wall and a karate person on melissas. we went shopping at the natick mall wihich i missed verymuch and ate haagen daz. lol

then on friday nite i saw cursed which sucked but whatever and then we went back to julies and hung around. me and nikkie stayed up til 2 talking while julie fell asleep like she ususally does lol.

anyway it was the most fun ive had in a LONG time. i cant wait to see u guys again!

-darien

:: 2005 6 March :: 9.27am

well last night was fucked lizzy was driving dereks car around memorial and its just our luck that a cop came and stopped us and took all of our information. and on top of that the cop was dan brogans dad!! ahh!! the officer came to the window and asked me what was under my jacket (cuz i had it over my legs) and if i was naked!! wtf? hopefully nothing bad happens to lizzy or derek :-[

hum. well im bored and i need to do somethingggggggggggg

im so stressed out i need to get high, get laid and get money..