:: 2003 7 February :: 9.39 pm

i have drank over 100oz of water. and i am not done yet.

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:: 2003 7 February :: 5.33 pm

heres more bad news. i am sick and have to drink alot of water. no kinders for me. darn it. the good news is, in like the past month or two i have lost a little over ten pounds. i am not really sure how, i haven't tried a little but not really. it doesn't bother me any.

1 comment? | ......

:: 2003 7 February :: 5.30 pm

single once more. i am fine though. i had figured it wouldn't last long. but it was fun. we are still friends, so thats good.

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:: 2003 6 February :: 8.55 pm

this really sucks. i have a sore thoat, head ache, pain in my back, can't concentrate, and my face is burning while my body is cold. my thoat has felt like i could throw up at any moment. well i am going to bed. i really hope i feel better in the morning. night.

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:: 2003 6 February :: 7.27 pm

why am i still dizzy
today started out pretty good. i was really perky and made my 2nd hour teach smile and laugh at me as usual. in art we have a new project. i think it will be alot of fun to do. as everyday i want to fall asleep in my geography class. in biology someone was being a prick and made me really mad. play practice what fun but nuts. the spainish panic has alot of twisting and spining. i was supposed to gentally lean on my parter but after spining so much i pretty much fell on him. i was a little upset at what he did. then my other parneter made it worse. i couldn't tell why. oh well. i am still happy. we have homeroom tomorrow. that means i am in band and get to sleep. woot, yea. anywho goodnight.

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:: 2003 3 February :: 8.46 pm

it seems odd to me. things are always what they seem to be. i have been really happy. it seems so strange. but i fear it wont last for long. it never does. i looked in the mirror. and i was smiling. at first i didn't think it was me, the girl in the mirror seemed to happy. she didn't have tears welling up in her eyes. you couldn't see pain in her heart. the pain is always there, but it doesn't feel as strong. it only does when i let it get to me. but i haven't let it lately. it seems quite odd to me. as i have said before. i fear it won't last long. in a way it remind me of that song by leigh ann rimes.

Life Goes On
Life Goes On, Life Goes On, Life Goes On...

You sucked me in and played my mind
Just like a toy you would crank and wind
Baby, I would give til you wore it out
You left me lying in a pool of doubt
If you're still thinkin' you're the Daddy Mac
You should've known better but you didn't and I can't go back

Oooh, Life Goes On, and its only gonna make me strong
Its a fact, once you get on board say goodbye cuz you can't go back
Oooh, its a fight, and I really wanna get it right
Where I'm at, is my life before me, Got this feeling that I can't go back

Life Goes On, Life Goes On, Life Goes On...

Wish I knew then what I know now
You held all the cards and sold me out
Baby, shame on you if you fooled me once,
Shame on me if you fooled me twice
You've been a pretty hard case to crack
I should've known better but I didn't and I can't go back

Oooh, Life Goes On, and its only gonna make me strong
Its a fact, once you get on board say goodbye cuz you can't go back
Oooh, its a fight, and I really wanna get it right
Where I'm at, is my life before me, Got this feeling that I can't go back

Na na na na na Life Goes On, na na na na na made me strong
Got a feeling and I can't go back
Life Goes On (and its only gonna make me strong)
Life Goes On and on and on

Shame on you if you fooled me once,
Shame on me if you fooled me twice
You've been a pretty hard case to crack
I should've known better but I didn't and I can't go back

Oooh, Life Goes On, and its only gonna make me strong
Its a fact, once you get on board say goodbye cuz you can't go back
Oooh, its a fight, and I really wanna get it right
Where I'm at, is my life before me, Got this feeling that I can't go back

Na na na na na Life Goes On, na na na na na made me strong
Whoa, yeah
Got a feeling and I can't go back...

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:: 2003 2 February :: 7.31 pm

today has gone by slow. i played video games a while. i took a little nap. for the most part i have on the computer. in the woohu chat.

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:: 2003 2 February :: 10.14 am

last night i went to the bean. it was fun. casey was there so it was nice to see her again. by the time my b/f and his friend showed up it was time to take them home. oh well. it was nice to see him. i have to go. i am going to church today. i will update my journal more later.

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:: 2003 1 February :: 2.34 pm

*phone call*
me-hello

beefco-hello
this is -----

me-oh

beefco-am i going over to ----s house, do you want you game back?

me-ya

beefco-ok

me-bye

beefco- bye

end of phone conversation

i asked my sis who it was, she didn't know, i asked if it was a guy or girl. she didn't know


i find that funy

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:: 2003 31 January :: 9.51 pm

I SOOOOOOO HAPPY!!!!!!!!

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:: 2003 27 January :: 9.39 pm

pain in the past, afraid of the future. so what is now. tomorrow will never come. yesterday was never here. so where do i belong?

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:: 2003 25 January :: 3.47 pm

*written last night*


i am tired of trying to be something i am not. the only problem is i am not even sure who i am to begin with. i look in the morror, i know not what i see. there was a time when i did. but that is only a memory now. just a memory the keeps on fadeing farther and farther away.

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:: 2003 24 January :: 5.52 pm

i am usually able to block it out within at least 5 mintes. but if i am near him for over 2 hours i can barley hold back the tears. i thought i had moved on. so why does it keep hurting me? i guess its a good things because at least its not 24/7. i miss my friend.

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:: 2003 23 January :: 9.02 pm

i am the little girl that cries in front of the mirror. she sees someone she thought she knew. she use to be able to be happy with what she saw. now tears are the rain. no sunshine in the clouds. a lonely cold night. with no moon out. the stars are faded. a horrifing kind of peace. no sound. darkness. she longs for happy times. that seem to fade away as footsteps on the beach. there is no way out of this nightmare. cant escape this torchur. this buring inside. not even tears can cool. was i ever happy? yes i can say i was. i said "was". the girl in the mirror, no light in her eyes, no sparkle in her smile. those eyes that were once filled with love just waiting to give, are now fill with pain and waiting to return to a dream. nothing is ever as it seems. so when you look at her, you will see light fighting though darkness, that light will never shine as bright as it once did. at least not alone.

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:: 2003 22 January :: 12.43 pm

why is it that grandmas always come over at the wrong time? poor me.

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