::
2003 12 January :: 6.11 pm
i went to church this morning. it was alot of fun. i helped the youth group with the baked potado sale. after everyone else got something to eat i did. it was really good. a nice baked potatado. melted chesse, and just a little bit of chilli. it was yummmmy.
...... |
::
2003 11 January :: 7.58 pm
in the moonlight i felt your heart
quiver like a bowsrings pulse
in the moons mere light
you looked at me
nobody knows your heart
whne the sun has gone i see you
beautiful and haunting but cold
like the blade of a knife so sharp, so sweet
nobody knows your heart
all of your sorrow grief and pain
locked awa in the forest of the night
you sercet heart belongs to the world
of things that sigh in the dark
or things that cry in the dark
...... |
::
2003 11 January :: 5.50 pm
whenever i look outside or think about it i am wondering, i am wishing..............
...... |
::
2003 11 January :: 3.36 pm
yesterday i finally got my princess mononoke in the mail
...... |
::
2003 11 January :: 12.01 pm
suprisely the dance was actully fun. i was kinda pissed once or twice but you know whatever.
...... |
::
2003 10 January :: 2.29 pm
i couldn't hold them back anymore. i had a hard enough time as it was. anytime no one was around or my face was coverd i would cry. i am crying right now. i just couldn't hold them back any longer.
...... |
::
2003 9 January :: 9.02 pm
i am glad i did something today. i have only told one person about it. and that person doesn't know that i have this journal. i wrote someone a note today. i have my reasons for saying no. and no one asked me out. today has gone very slow. and sad.
...... |
::
2003 8 January :: 8.27 pm
i just ran 2 miles
...... |
::
2003 8 January :: 4.06 pm
once more i am in the background. not wanted, not cared about. many people around, but yet i am alone.
...... |
::
2003 7 January :: 6.28 pm
lately if i cried only one tear fell. today they poured like rain.
...... |
::
2003 4 January :: 10.32 pm
within the furthest reaches of the heart lie those desires whose name one dares no speak. so suductive, so intoxicating, so indulgent, out most private passwions burn at the molten core of our being, luring us to the very heights of ecstasy and depths of despair. though the ages, the words of timpassioned lovers have transformed a virginal sheet of papar into a sanctuary for a restless heart. eash of the pages in this journal awaits the expression of your own desires- unedited, undiluted, uninhibited. abandon yourself of you dare.
" desire is posison" -mahbaratta;c.600
"thou art to me a delicious torment" -ralph waldo emerson 1847
"you know that whne i hate you, it is because i love you to a point of passion that unhinges my soul." -julie heanne eleonore de lespinasse 1774
"the greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do" -walter bagehot
"love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop"
-h.l. mencken
"ilove your lips when they're we with wine and red with a wicked desire"
-ella wheeler wilcox
"his kiss was like white lightning, a flash that spead, and a spead again, and stayed"
-henry james
"form their eyelids as they glanced dripped love"
-hesiod
"longing chains me'
"whoever has loved knows all that life contains of sorrow and joy"
it is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end
...... |
::
2003 4 January :: 2.02 pm
i have heard these lyrics tons of times on the radio.
If You're Gone
(matchbox 20)
I think I've already lost you
I think you're already gone
I think I'm finally scared now
You think I'm weak - but I think you're wrong
I think you're already leaving
Feels like your hand is on the door
I thought this place was an empire
But now I'm relaxed - I can't be sure
I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm scared - I think too much
I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing
If you're gone - maybe it's time to come home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home, come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you
I bet you're hard to get over
I bet the wound just won't shut
I bet my hands I can stay here
I bet you need - more than you mind
I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - that I know too much
I can't relate and that's a problem I'm feeling
If you're gone - maybe it's time to COME home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home, come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you
I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
and I think I'm scared - do I talk too much
I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing
If you're gone - maybe it's time to come home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you
...... |
::
2003 3 January :: 4.30 pm
i am not as happy as i was but i am still happy for once. only one tear.
...... |
::
2003 2 January :: 11.28 pm
:: Mood: happy
i am soo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo o oo oo oo ooo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo o oo oo oo ooo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo very HAPPY!!!!!!!!!! right now. even if you ask why i wont tell.
...... |
::
2003 1 January :: 12.06 pm
the party started out ok. before we went i had gotten into a fight with my sister. we ok there and there weren't as many people as i thought there would be. they had just started to watch triple X. its a very good movie. it was awsome with suround sound. but then that guy made me feel like a total dumbass. i could have stayed the night it was because of him i didn't. bad enough it seems eariler that day i had been forgetten. lasst night i ha another dream about -----. almost any time i have a dream about him the same thing usually happens. i dout it would happen in real life so i am not worried.i am going to go now. watch tv. debate whether or not to envite someone over sometime this weekend. so in one night i have been, humilated, dissed, felt like a dumb ass, and forgetten. i was forgetten.
...... |
|