:: 2011 22 April :: 11.55 am

Almost finished with College
Today is my last day of internship! I can't believe it because this is the first time in my life that I get to take a break from working so hard and standing long hours straight. Ever since I entered college, I didn't get to do what most college students got to do and experience like hanging and going out with their friends. First semester of college was nice and easygoing, but the second semester required me to wake up early and get to class by 6:30am everyday, which all culinary students have to do. Then there was another semester where I had to get to class by 8am, but I was still on my feet everyday and also going to my classes. It's tiring to work and learn at the same time. I finally made it. I am at least 90% done. The reason it's tiring is because culinary students have to think up menu ideas and we have to know what we're doing. Half the time I didn't know what to do. I didn't have common sense. Towards the end, I now have common sense and able to work alone. Almost efficiently. So yeah. I'm quite happy today.

Since I only have a few things to worry about. Only 2 math tests left. I have all the time that I need to study. Studying math only took me less than 30 minutes or maybe I would say 15-20 minutes. Since I'm better at it, I only spend 15 minutes each day. I don't do the problems. I just read the notes, then I wait for the teacher to hand out review sheets and I do 'em. I find studying in the morning helps and is better than studying at night because I tend to slack off at night. I get easily distracted too. It really helped that I don't live at the old place because the new place forces me to wake up early and get to school early.

I had blogged here ever since I was in high school. Now I'm finishing college. Very different type of entries I wrote back in the days. Different mindsets. I liked movies a lot before, and I still do, but lately I'm so preoccupied with more important things, I'm starting to forget about movies. I don't go on twitter as much anymore either. Next class starts at 12:10pm. Better get going.

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:: 2011 21 April :: 12.23 pm
:: Mood: okay

Beauty of Cemeteries
Last Sunday, my mom's friend drove through Colma to Pitco Foods to buy stuff for their mini market. I went with them. I had always wanted to visit Colma because of what it was always known for being "the city of the silent" means the city where they buried the dead. I read this on wikipedia "the population of the dead outnumber the living by over a thousand to one." It's not very far from where I live. I always wanted to go there, relax, have a picnic and spend my whole day there, but my mom don't want me going there alone because she says cemeteries are usually quiet and someone might hide in the bushes. So it's not safe or something. When I try to ask someone to go with me, it didn't seem like anyone was interested. I even asked my mom's friend if she wanted to live there and she said, "It looks okay, but wouldn't be my first choice. I want to live somewhere with nice view. Not looking out the window and all I see is that (tombstones and graves)."

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:: 2011 18 April :: 11.32 am
:: Mood: irritated

I wish some people would just stop Bulls**ting me. I hate to use words like that, but it's the most accurate. I have this friend who I'm always waiting on. Movie screenings. She says she wants to go, text me on the same day that she is coming, but when the time comes, she never shows up. This happened at least 2-3 times that I had to wait on her. She did came once, but sort of talked during the film, which annoyed me greatly. Today, she tells me she wants to see me. What's the point? Why set up an appointment if you're not gonna show up and flake on me all the time? I get annoyed easily and I don't need people to waste my time. I barely have free time now, and I'm not gonna risk it for someone who's going to flake.

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:: 2011 15 April :: 11.11 am
:: Mood: hungry

No freedom
Life is pretty good. I just have to make things work. I have to plan what I will do after my internship ends. The good part is not coming home late, but the bad part is figuring out where I should be, and what time I should be coming home. If I go home early, I wouldn't have much to do except sit in the living room, eat tons of food and snacks, look at the kids, listen to the lady lecturing to me about various subjects, watch what I say otherwise it might offend her and I probably have to ride in the car with her everywhere she goes. She's nice and provides the necessities and foods, but I can't watch anything I want to watch. Let's say I want to watch DEVIL, she probably wouldn't like it so I won't bother trying. Violent zombie movies are not appropriate for kids, so I'm left with watching animated films that I've already seen. I like them, but I would like to catch up on my movie watching. I missed out on so many screenings. Being busy with internship and cleaning..

The school feels like my temporary new home now. I can do whatever I want. No one isn't going to bother me here. I feel comfortable here and the food is cheap. Plenty of stuff to eat, but just too many people and long lines. It's okay I guess. Fast computers too. I need to upload my pictures from spring break also. I don't have my own computer anymore so I'm not quite sure if I should.

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:: 2011 14 April :: 1.46 pm
:: Mood: accomplished

Writing an entry before I leave for my internship. Not counting today, I would have 4 days left! Pretty excited. I wouldn't have much to do except going to my 3 easy classes. Passed the math test. Thank you Lord. I prayed a lot that I would pass. I really put work into studying. 2 more tests to go! If I pass both, I'm not taking the final. Can't wait to sit back and relax. I'm reading some websites about Utah, and most of them are negative comments. What people list as bad seems good to me. Maybe I'm just a weirdo. It's a perfect place for me to live because I like to do nothing. There is a lot to do, but for some reason they say Utah is a place for people who do nothing. There are winter sports, hiking, biking, camping, movies, eating, etc.. That seems like a lot to me. The big space is good because SF is crammed. Everyone just wants to live here. It's cold most of the time, plus there's no snow. Makes everyday boring. Cold and rain.

Overall, Cali is a good state. Good schools, colleges and jobs. It just depends who you are and what you want to do with your life. For me, I don't belong here. That's all. For most people, they like living here. I just want to get away from the craziness and rest from people. I feel old.

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:: 2011 13 April :: 11.34 am
:: Mood: blah

I'm feeling happy and sad at the same time. The good part is that I am close to being done with school. I have a total of 7 math tests, but I already took 5, so that means 2 more to go if i pass the 5th one. I might not have to take the final if I pass all 7 tests. I am almost done with my internship. My hours are almost complete. I have 5 days left! So happy and relieved, but at the same time, I am scared that it will end because I don't feel like going home so early in the morning which is 11am. I don't want to go home period. I just want some freedom for once without being told what to do.

The bad part is that my sister just told me that my dad is going in for more surgery and his condition is worst. Makes me sad that I can't visit him right now because I need to be done with school.

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:: 2011 8 April :: 11.27 am
:: Mood: anxious

Decisions, my mom, interning
Sometimes I hate myself for not thinking thoroughly before I do something. My problem right now is that my mind isn't focused. I tend to make lame decisions. I guess classes like math does help me to think, plan, understand and remember better. It might help me to not make any stupid decisions in the future. I'm glad I have school. Sometimes it's frustrating, but overall it's rewarding. Paranoia is good at times. I've been paranoid before, but now I have to be more paranoid for the better so that I don't make rash decisions.

And I miss my mom very much. She's my role model. So strong and tough. No one else is like her and I admire her with all my heart. No one can replace her. She is truly amazing and a daredevil. I love how she does things. She is so smart. It's hard to describe or put into words. She's like no other. Unique, selfless, strong.. I'm becoming like her more each day.

Intern yesterday was alright. I got to work with the new girl, and she's kind of weird. She never went to Culinary school. The way she works annoys me because she would put the dirty spoons in a hotel pan next to the food. No one does that except for her. That doesn't make sense to me. Dirty equipments shouldn't be mixed up with foods served to customers. She would tell me to do this and that, and it would be all wrong. She works really fast no doubt. Faster than anyone in the kitchen, but it wasn't organized/clean. I'd rather work slower and put things in order rather than rush through everything and put things where they don't belong and piss off the dishwasher guys. She uses the wrong plate for desserts. I mean, come on. It's a fine-dining restaurant and you put a creme caramel into a tiny plate. You've got to be kidding me. Fine-dining restaurants use big plates. You go on google and see the plating style. They leave some room for the caramel liquid. I told her we always use the big plates and she said, "But that's what I've been using." Well, it's wrong. I didn't bother to say anymore, but just stay quiet. Didn't want to be rude. She said she couldn't tell if I was sad or happy. My face expression tends to look blah and emotionless. It just simply means I am tired. There isn't anything wrong with her. She's nice and polite, but I don't really like working with her. Some things I leave out she eats. I prefer to work alone and go home at 11pm something rather than work with someone who constantly does something annoying and inappropriate. I have nothing against her, but she just doesn't hear me or communicate. I go to Culinary school. She didn't and she's teaching me how to do things. It's wrong. That's all I gotta say.

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