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It's in your dreams, it's in disguise, So you should try to free your mind

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:: 2010 25 April :: 3.24 pm

I want today to pass so I can go to school tomorrow. I don't want the cooking program to end because I'll miss my classmates and friends. I treat everyday as if there's no tomorrow. You never know. Things can change and moments pass. I never hate anyone even if it's the last thing. Life's too short.

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:: 2010 23 April :: 7.16 pm

Listening to B-Movie's gloomy song 'Scare Some Life into Me' makes me feel at ease. Gloomy music makes me happy when I'm not feeling good.

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:: 2010 21 April :: 5.42 pm

Insane
I feel fat. I see fat, but people say I'm skinny. That is insane because it's so not true.

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:: 2010 21 April :: 5.35 pm

I kept my words, which was good. I don't want to say I can do something, but ended up not being able to.

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:: 2010 18 April :: 9.11 pm
:: Mood: relieved

Tableside cooking?
I told one of my classmates that I wanted to do tableside cooking, and he put me there. But the hard part is coming up with a fine dining menu and the customers have to buy the food. The instructor told me nothing sauteed or hot oil. I've been thinking about menu ideas since Friday, before sleep, when I'm already asleep and waking up. So I finally picked a recipe to try out. My mom said the food tastes good, but it doesn't look like something to be served in a fine dining restaurant. So I don't want to do it anymore because I can't find the perfect vegan recipe. I wanted to make portobello burritos, spinach lasagna, sauteed and baked foods, but then it wouldn't be tableside. I didn't give up. I'm just tired of forcing myself to use my mind to think. Plus, it's optional. No need to sweat it. I want to be able to relax after school without stress for this whole week because I took over my mom's shift last week and didn't have break. I finally have break today, but I want to go to church next week. I feel tired like I'm out of breath as if I ran miles and miles of laps. I feel relieved for quitting.

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:: 2010 18 April :: 4.14 pm
:: Mood: anxious

I wanted to watch movies on the computer, but it made weird noises, so I didn't want to force it. Oh well. I'm nervous for this week. I hope I don't do anything stupid.

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:: 2010 10 April :: 11.54 pm

I kept on being an idiot from time to time. What is wrong with me?

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