goodbye
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2016 30 October :: 1.53pm
Couples costumes make me want to hurl.
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goodbye
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2016 27 October :: 10.19pm
:: Mood: 0 fucks
It doesn't matter if I'm holding one or looking at a picture, when a baby looks at me I have this strong desire to safely grab it and hold it to my body and encase it in my arms and just love and protect it. At times I feel like I wouldn't be a good mother or I'd regret all of the time and energy it would take, but this instinct tells me that is not true. Every time I'm with Xander I want to shower him in kisses and affection. I want to make sure he's cared for properly and not ignored or pumped full of sugar by his parents. I want to have a child so badly. I want to love someone so completely that my life finally makes sense. It definitely would be easier with the right partner but honestly, I could do it all on my own. I could. I will.
In the meantime, I want like... 3 dogs.
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goodbye
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2016 27 October :: 4.28pm
:: Music: Last Days of April: Life Companion Murphy's Law
Adults never tell kids that the best time of their lives will be childhood.
I feel deceived.
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goodbye
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2016 16 October :: 9.51pm
I can feel the walls closing in. They're soft but dense. They're slowly suffocating me.
I can't get out... I can't get out... I can't breathe in this. I'm going to die.
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goodbye
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2016 8 October :: 11.05pm
Anna is always going to be my friend. She is always there for me. She may hurt my feelings sometimes unintentionally, but I know she would never do it with any malice. She always makes the effort to text when I'm away or see me when I'm home. She is fine going out or staying in or spending money or doing whatever, so long as it's with me. She only wants the best for me. She only wants my happiness.
She is what friendship means to me. I have been very fortunate to have her in my life. Best friends, the people you really want to love, will sometimes disagree with you and get into arguments with you, but they will always be there at the end of the day, in your corner, cheering you on. I have 6 of those. But she's that for me, most of all.
Friends are family you choose.
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goodbye
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2016 7 October :: 11.03pm
Gotta let go.
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labyrinth
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2016 22 September :: 4.11pm
Midwest
I have plans that may or may not happen, but I thought it through last night. I thought about it a lot, not just yesterday. In 5 years, I might go back to the states. But I want to go to another state. Maybe Minnesota because my friend lives there. I really really want to go to the midwest and I'm going to make it my goal. I have 5 years to prepare myself. Of course, I already have a college degree, so it's no problem.
If the Lord wants me to be there, I will know then, but if not, I will know also. The Lord God is the creator of this world. It doesn't matter where I go, he'll always be there.
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