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It's in your dreams, it's in disguise, So you should try to free your mind

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goodbye

:: 2017 1 April :: 4.01pm

I am not better than anyone else on this planet. All humans are living on the same Earth. We all have different shades of skin, different beliefs, different incomes and educations and dreams, even different tastes in music. But we'll all be carbon in the end, floating on the same little rock, circling the same little star, in outer space.

You're not better either so stop using slurs and stop expelling hate and stop acting like you're more important.

Have a little compassion for others.

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goodbye

:: 2017 26 February :: 9.01am

I had a PTSD flashback last night. Accompanied by long-lasting ticks and about 3 lbs of tears.

That is the first time I've experienced something like that... it was very frightening. It's difficult being out of control of your body and emotions. I really need some help with this. I can't wait to see my therapist tomorrow.

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goodbye

:: 2017 19 February :: 9.27pm

All day has been a painful memory. Tearful moments of wishing things were different than they turned out to be. It's not gone and will never be gone.

My family was here at least. At least they were by my side. That's all I need. I can count on them. It feels so good to just be myself at least with three people on Earth... and a puppy, of course. Judgement-free.

Love and respect and home is all I need to feel right now. It's a big bandaid that's stretched over a deep wound that doesn't seem to heal. One half of the bandaid slips off and support is the adhesive that secures it again. My family is everything to me.

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goodbye

:: 2017 11 February :: 3.40pm

Headaches starting. I need iron pills to balance my lack of it this week. Every time it's the same thing - migranes all week long. I need to also get a cast iron skillet. I think i'll make that my plan this weekend.

I also need to clean and get my taxes done. I always get so nervous when I have to take care of them but procrastinate because they suck. Some things make me very much dislike being an adult.

I'm going to talk with my parents when they come over next weekend. I'm getting ill thinking about it. But it's something I have to do... this weekend anniversary will be particularly rough.

I can't wait until it's all over and I can just relax and be myself. Maybe I should take some time off during the transition... I could use some days for rejouvenation and mental health. All this vilification is killing me.

I wonder if I'll ever find something good again.

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goodbye

:: 2017 7 February :: 11.45am

Punch me in the gut just to see if I can breathe.

I'm contemplating something drastic. This choice will affect my whole life.

But I can't keep going on like this.

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goodbye

:: 2017 5 February :: 10.52pm

I need to change my life.

I am a puppet following a script others have written for my one-man show. The social and societal obligations are overwhelming me and I feel like I'm on the edge.

As I am is not enough for anyone.

I can't be who everyone wants me to be.

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goodbye

:: 2017 3 February :: 9.13pm

OMG I fucking LOVE Lu so much! She is everything. I am especially stoked for her finishing all my sentences and getting my movie quotes XD

Friends are such treasures <3

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