Everything happens for a reason

2 MessageMessages | Leave A Message

:: 2003 6 June :: 4.08pm

ha, school is done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well theres noone who actually reads this, so this may be my last post. so to whoever actually reads this, bye!

:: 2003 5 June :: 7.19pm
:: Mood: lonely

I don't know why. i did what she asked and that was to read her whole journal. i at first wasn't gonna admit it but before i read all her entry's i figured she was prolly psycho.
Now i have read all of her entry's and i am completely in love with this girl. i don't know why. theres something about the way she acts and the way she talks and her face. I think shes got a really really beuatiful face. I love it.

:: 2003 4 June :: 10.49pm
:: Mood: naughty

i found a quiz on someones journal. so i decided i should take it. i took it and this is what it turned out to be. HI BABE.

cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

:: 2003 3 June :: 9.01pm
:: Mood: scared

I wasn't taken for granted--I was just taken,
Hands closed around my neck and squeezed.
Eyes pop open..an object hits an alarm clock and I
stare at the ceiling..trembling and visably shaken,
Whatever it was that just happened, it scared me to
death..and so I died.

I breathed heavily until I unwittingly tasted my
last breath,
And the oxygen was bitter..my final taste of the
wasted, rotten fruit of life--the juices seeped
through the corners of my mouth in death.
There is no peace--only nagging questions..a torn
brain decomposing at a fork in the road,
Noone could crack the safe..why didn't you save
me? Noone could decipher the code..
I sat on a bench and waited for you.. headlights
flashed and a car started, but noone sat in the
driver's seat,
1:43 A.M.�his body gave up and her heart stopped..
he sucked up stale air and admitted defeat.

So..this is..eternity?

Have we met? I'm not breathing anymore..why didn't
you save me? What are friends for?
Desperation..panic-stricken frenzy..the nails that
clawed at wood are the same ones that clawed at
your back door.

I wasn't taken for granted--I was just taken,
Hands closed around my neck and squeezed.
Eyes pop open..an object hits an alarm clock and I
stare at the ceiling..trembling and visably shaken,
Whatever it was that just happened, it scared me to
death..and so I died..

:: 2003 3 June :: 8.42pm
:: Mood: tired

LOVE!

I muster up the strength to go outside,
The floor sticks to my bare feet,
Cold ground intruding my warm skin.
In a trance I move through my halls,
The pictured walls seemingly morph as pass,
I see her everywhere. She is a part of me-

My soul

My mind is deficient of reason,
Love has become an indescribable feeling.
I walk down the hall realizing its boundlessness.
Colors flow past me in gentle streams.
She is with me and I feel her pain,
Emotion soaked eyes stare into mine.
I hear her say �I love you� as she wipes away a tear
The words wash over me like rain
In those eyes I see her soul-

My soul

She is perfection incarnate,
I reach to wipe away her tears but fall short.
I want to comfort her but she is too distant.
The only comfort I provide is tender words,
with honest meaning.
I want to stay here forever;
this perfect moment should never end.
She begins to fade away and I reach for her finding air.
She is gone, but I know she will return
I feel a pang of emptiness with in me-

My soul

My lungs burn in need of her return
Her face plays over my eyelids as they close once more
She is my last thought, my final memory
I pass away into my dream�

�The floor sticks to my bare feet.

:: 2003 3 June :: 8.33pm
:: Mood: amused

A lost sole.

Forgotten
always alone

Forsaken
care never shown

No-one will warm
my frostbitten heart

I should have known
'twas like this from the start

Trapped under ice
the world's nothing but cold

There's no reprise,
like my soul has been sold

Eating away,
the thoughts tear at my core

Too bad for them,
darkness never gets sore.

:: 2003 3 June :: 8.31pm
:: Mood: depressed

Lonely suicide

suicide to help the pain
lonely suicide - split the vein
suicide for the lies undone
lonely suicide - cock the gun
suicide for the ruined lives
lonely suicide - sharpen the knives
suicide, no longer alone
lonely suicide - pull that cone
suicide, cannot cope
lonely suicide - knot the rope
suicide, cant deal with it all
lonely suicide - that plummeting fall
suicide for the emotions I cannot kill
lonely suicide - take another pill
suicide for now I can't cry
lonely suicide - its time to DIE

:: 2003 3 June :: 8.29pm
:: Mood: sad

LEAVE ME ALONE!

I've cut your strings,
From my heart you've gone,
Because you've pissed me off
For much too long.
I don't need the anger,
I don't need the pain.
Your sunshine isn't bright enough,
So just bring on the rain.
And no she doesn't love me,
But I'll love her anyway.
I don't get this sh*t from her,
And at least with her, I'm free.
I won't be hurt by any girl but her,
Another isn't worth the time to grieve.
I'd rather be left alone to love the rain,
Yea, please, just let me be.

2 MessageMessages | Leave A Message

:: 2003 3 June :: 8.28pm
:: Mood: creative

Dreams and Nightmares

Silent tears
Wept in the dark
Leaving trails
Marks of pain
Torment recorded
Strewn across my face.

Cowering alone
Broken dreams
Scatter in the wind
Nothing remains
Only solitude
Remnants of the past.

Dark ravines
Coat the sun
Glistening black
Obsidian light
Reflects crimson glory
Streaking down the wall.

Stark melodies
Drifting free
Trapping spirits
Guiding them away
Leading them to hell
Burning in cold flames.

Faceless demons
Confronted in sleep
Pointing two ways
Utter blackness
Simplistic peace
A step left.

Pure light
Brilliant white
Leaking scarlet
Driving me away
Turning the scales
Sliding right.

Images froze
Horrifying visions
Flash before me
Vivid in red
Washing away pain
Numbing reality.

Paralyzing blows
Trapped here
Struggling to break free
Hidden away
Locked up tight
My mind reels.

Left alone
Thrown to a path
Screaming
Pleading to be free
Unable to wake
Killed by a vision.

4 MessageMessages | Leave A Message

:: 2003 3 June :: 7.50pm
:: Mood: shocked

I don't know what to do. i really like someone that i liked back in the sixth grade. and now she likes someone else and is talking about goin to a different school or homeschooling. i really really like this girl and one of my friends thinks shes cool but she wont give me a shot. at least not yet. HEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPP!

:: 2003 2 June :: 4.51pm

hi everyone, i really have nothing to say. so i guess i'll just say nothing. well bye

11 MessageMessages | Leave A Message

:: 2003 27 May :: 4.14pm
:: Mood: unwanted

i am now officially unwanted by everyone. im to ugly and stupid to be wanted by anyone. ok, well now that my little bout of self pity is done, how was everyone elses day?? mine was alright. i guess. i kinda miss seeing all the seniors though. i miss derek and nicole the most,because they were the only two i really talked to. so....
yeah i really dont have much to say, so if your reading this just leave a comment. i mean i dont wanna be the only one doing the typing. give your keyboard a workout and write me something worth reading in my comments. alright im gone,
rob

2 MessageMessages | Leave A Message

:: 2003 26 May :: 8.48pm

hey everyone.
mike jared, and i went camping this weekend. it sucked. we were all pissing each other off. and we got ditched for skateboarders. that really pissed me off. oh well, i guess i am as ugly as i think. i'll live. well thats about it. im gone,
rob

6 MessageMessages | Leave A Message

:: 2003 8 May :: 6.54pm
:: Mood: mad at myself

i dont feel mad, just worried. i dont want jen to hurt herself, but we werent working out together. so jen if your reading this, I STILL LIKE YOU!!! so dont take it wrong, its just we werent working out. well thats all, im gone,
rob

:: 2003 7 May :: 9.11pm
:: Mood: worried about jen

ok, i did it.
i just broke up with jen. and now she said she's not coming to school tomarrow, so now im worried about her. i hope i didnt make her hurt herself, because i still like her and everything, but us being together just wasnt working. well im gone,
rob

:: 2003 7 May :: 8.36pm

ok, just to start: IM NOT MAD AT JEN!! and im really getting sick of her thinking that i am. what is it with girls thinking im mad at them all the time?!?!? most of the time its them thats mad at me!!!! i dont think that jen and i are going to last much longer, just because of this reason. she always thinks that im mad at her, either that or she ignores me. so we might not last much longer together. i still wanna be friends,but that'll come soon enough. well im gone,
-rob

3 MessageMessages | Leave A Message

:: 2003 4 May :: 2.12am
:: Mood: alright

ok, first off, how is everyone??? i havent posted in a while so i figured that i would. sorry for anyone who actually wanted me to post, but for some reason i dont think thats anyone!!!
alright, i'll start off by saying i lead a boring and uneventful life!! : ( but, what can ya do, right?!?
alright, today i had to go to a track meet, and the worst part was that i wasnt running!! that pissed me off, but i didnt want to run anyways. today was the redhawk invitational, so being the host school we had to set stuff up, so the people who werent running, ME, had to work at the meet.
bill was working at the consession stands, so i talked to him most of the day. we got along pretty good, suprisingly. so i hope it stays that way, i dont like bitching at people, but i do what i gotta do.
then after the track meet i had a soccer game at jenison, that i actually played in! we won, 4-0. i played right defense for anyone who actually cares.

um... i dont have anything much to say. i never do, but i usually make stuff up.
oh yeah, in case you havent noticed, i've been swearing less!!!! it's really hard to go from swearing all the time to not much at all, but i can do it!!!!

jv confrence is comming up in 2 weeks, and i think i might have to run in it, but i dont really want to, even though by then my shins SHOULD be alright. but they're really bad. oh well, nothing i can do about it.

tell me about your weekends or about something, i dont care, just talk to me!!!

im gone,
-rob

6 MessageMessages | Leave A Message

:: 2003 28 April :: 8.59pm

bill being a lying mother fucker
alright, bill, now im getting fucking pissed at you. just answer this one question- why the hell are you lying to jen about shit?!?!? she got all pissed because of something you said to her about me not caring about her. i have no clue where you heard that, but it certainly wasnt from me, so keep your mouth shut about shit like that, especially if you know its not true! thanks
rob