Leeder

:: 2004 25 June :: 9.49pm
:: Mood: woozy
:: Music: Nine Inch Nails - No, You Don't

What makes you laugh?: Monty Python (Bloody Peasant!)
Who is your hero?: Spiderman??? I have role models, not heroes
Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours?: Meruan, because I think she's the only one I could handle it with
How many pairs of shoes do you own?: ::does a quick head count:: Like 7 (not including slippers)
Seriously... Where does the other sock end up?: The underpants' gnomes... they have cousins, y'know
Who do you blame for your mood today?: Myself
If the Internet were sex... I would: Refresh
Have you ever seen a dead body?: I watch Six Feet Under regularly, does that count?
What is something scientists need to invent?: A tomato/tobacco plant hybrid... oh wait, nevermind... SIMPSONS DID IT!
What should we do with stupid people?: Send them to Home Depot
Have you ever broken a bone?: Not as of yet, but the night's still young
Do you watch local news? Why?: No, becasue it depresses me (sorry, that answer was a little too serious...)
What happens after you die?: Nothing
How big is your bed? Big enough?: It's a full-sized waterbed... it's big enough for me, and that's all that really matters ;-P
How long do you think you will live?: Age 82

Random Thought Provokers brought to you by BZOINK!

:: 2004 25 June :: 5.51pm
:: Mood: deternined
:: Music: No Doubt - Ex-Girlfriend

Listen, this entry didn't go quite I planned (not unlike everything in my life that I can remember for quite a while now), but I'm not going to let Joe's stupid piece of shit mouse which conviently deletes every one of my important enteries... I'm not going to let all that stop me. I accomplished three big things today, and despite the fact that I'm pissed and anxious and stressed like I have been the past couple of weeks (and for, like, a huge chuck of 2004 before that)... like I said, I'm not going to deny the importance of said things. I've come way too far and I'm so close to this thing being over (I hope...).

My absolution is coming, so don't fucking get in its way. But anyway, the 3 things:

1) I once again became comfortable playing with the kids af CfA.
2) I changed a flat tire all by myself.
3) I turned in an Application for Graduation Audit.

You may not know exactly how important these things are, but that's ok, as long as I realize it, things are fine.

Now, fuck the rest... I have some serious packing to do.

Which Rock Chick Are You?

JediBumblebee

:: 2004 25 June :: 5.50pm

:: 2004 24 June :: 9.33pm

it sucks when i have been gone all day, then get home and realize still nothing has happened...

should i switch departments at work? or just quit? hmmm....

:: 2004 22 June :: 2.20am
:: Mood: frustrated
:: Music: Sheryl Crow - Hard To Make A Stand

So, I'm sure this is just an empty threat and I'll get over it after my vacation, but lately I've been considering a change of employment. As much as I can enjoy Menards at time and how cushy I have it there, there's been too many complications there lately, and most of a personal nature. With some people, I feel too involved with, and with others, I couldn't feel a larger void from. See, the thing you have to understand about the Kalamazoo Menards is that its workers are by and large, incredibly independent and self-focused. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of great people who work there, some included in the aforementioned group, but I've always felt (and this might be in some part to the size of the staff there) that there a good number of pre-formed cliques, usually orignating (and segregating) within departments. It's hard to explain it here, but I think "snobbish" is a good word to describe a good deal of the people who work there. I may feel comfortable in my department and with handfuls of other people in the store, but other than that... I don't know, maybe I'm just being picky, but I never quite had this same issue at any of my previous employers. We'll see what happens.

:: 2004 22 June :: 2.13am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: TLC - KIck Your Game

Things to do before I leave:

1) Pack
2) Try and get some of this school stuff out of the way so I don't have to worry about it while I'm gone
3) Drive the Saabster home and hitch a ride to the airport from Mommy #2
4) Put together the media rack I got for my father and get it filled
5) Hang out with Jason (and Tony, I'm sure) on Sunday
6) Get someone to work for me on Sunday so I can meet Chris for thesis work
7) Crawl the rest of the way through what has been a very crappy period at work
8) Rent and watch Secret Window, The Cooler, and Bad(der) Santa.
9) See Fahrenheit 9/11 with Mike???
10) Talk to Leeder before I leave
11) Burn (her) CD

:: 2004 22 June :: 12.52am

waaaayyyyy too busy lately.

saw cassie hill from high school working at menards at home. that was interesting... i miss being in the loop of things.

in other news, my parents suck and i'm glad i'll never live with them again. i wish i understood why they never fail to screw things up for me, and what i ever did to ruin their faith in me and my judgement.

:: 2004 20 June :: 8.22pm

Which Rock Chick Are You?

:: 2004 18 June :: 10.30pm
:: Mood: rubbery
:: Music: Denis Leary's No Cure for Cancer as background noise

"Women make the greatest psychoanalysts... until they fall in love. Then they become the greatest patients." Alfred Hitchcock's Spellbound
So, I played around w/ HTML some more and figured out how to make my awesome background work better with my journal format. Check it out.

I don't know why I'm doing this ("this" being ******* ***). It might be for you. It might be for myself. Either way... for you, I want everything to be perfect. I don't want to waste one second of our time.

So I went to Best Buy AND Circuit City this evening with an urge to spend... and went home empty-handed. I think it has something to do w/ restraint, a lot to do with nothing looking particulary alluring, and a fair amount to do with my mood and my goals for the week. "Driven" best describes me of late.

I feel like I'm in a sort of limbo these past few weeks, waiting for the next phase to start up. There were signs that this transformation was about to begin, but I'm not sure anymore. I'm waiting by the door with the car running, I just need the wife to get out of the bathroom.

How could I manage to convince myself for so long that it was instrumental for my emotional welfare to stunt the one thing that I'm most proficient in. No wonder sometimes it feels like I wasted a lot of time. Yet I know it wasn't wasted, because I've gleaned from each of those moments a little bit of guidance and knowledge.

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:: 2004 18 June :: 7.20am

noooooooo! I am getting sick!

I HATE being sick and I still have 8 days of work in a row left!

:: 2004 16 June :: 11.15pm

Haha, i know you're looking.

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:: 2004 16 June :: 12.07am
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: the sweet drone of Al Michaels voice

Pistons 100, Lakers 87
::stands and claps:: Go Pistons! Well done indeed. A entertaining finish to an entertaining series, and I'm glad I was able to be a part of it.

You know, over the years, I've scaled back my fanship when its came to sports for a great number of reasons (lack of time, going to college, falling out of favor with UofM, simply growing up), but it's so refreshing to come back to a situation like this and find myself fitting right back into the groove and into the persona. There's just something about being part of a bigger picture, sharing the same elation and defeat with countless others, that provides such a sense of purpose... it all just makes it so incomprehensible when someone suggests it's "just a game."

I'm proud to be a sports fan, and more specifically, tonight I'm glad to be a Detroit sports fan.

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:: 2004 15 June :: 6.13pm
:: Music: Pearl Jam- Corduroy

The waiting drove me mad...you're finally here and I'm a mess...
I take your entrance back...can't let you roam inside my head...
I dont want to take what you can give...
I would rather starve than eat your bread...
I would rather run but I can't walk...
Guess I'll lie alone just like before.

I don't be held in your debt...
I'll pay it off in blood, let I be wed...
I'm already cut up and half dead...
I'll end up alone like I began.

Can't buy what I want because it's free.

Why ain't it supposed to be just fun?
Oh, to live and die, let it be done.
I figure I'll be damned, all alone like I began.

:: 2004 15 June :: 5.30pm

So the new house thing is pretty wild. Within three days I decided I'm not moving into Danford Creek, I toured about 8 different places, put in two applications, and have a totally new plan of where I'm living next year. Also, I may be moving earlier now, end of July rather than beginning of August, that is if I get my dream apartment, which is looking unlikely but I'll wait for Jenny to call me back. I already brought boxes home from work, I'm so excited to move out of this shithole.

Also, if anyone wants or knows anyone who may want a hamster, I regret to say that he is now free to a good home. Cage included, and whatever other hamster "stuff" I have around. Kitty and hamster are not friends.