Leeder

Leeder

:: 2003 2 August :: 12.45am
:: Mood: complacent
:: Music: Dashboard Confessional - Remember To Breathe

...and everything will be ok
The key to happiness is releasing emotional baggage. The most content people I know let go of their past regrets and mistakes and look forward instead of second guessing themselves and their choices. I think many of us refuse to let go because they fear without those experiences, they would be empty or incomplete and wouldn't know where to begin.

Just letting go these past couple of months, it's like I'm throwing off a weight on my shoulders that I had been carrying for so long. It's a great feeling.

I no longer fear being alone with my mind.

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JediBumblebee

:: 2003 27 July :: 5.46pm

I thought this thing was kinda fun...

Am I a nerd? Go ahead and tell me!

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JediBumblebee

:: 2003 24 July :: 11.15pm
:: Music: Grandaddy- Why Took Your Advice

i took your advice
and bought the microscope...

i can't find anything
i wanna see up close...

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TaoMan1121

:: 2003 20 July :: 8.46pm
:: Mood: indifferent
:: Music: Modest Mouse - Convenient Parking

OK, top 50 bands this time. Now before you guys post, let me explain how I worked it. At first I started making two lists, one for all-time, and another for current favorites. Then as I went on, I noticed a lot of repeats on both lists, such as DMB and Eminem. So I decided to just throw the two together and see what happened. I ranked these according to influence, longevity/senority, talent, and finally, my own personal preference, in that order. This is why, for instance, the Rolling Stones are ranked higher than Incubus, even though, nine times out of ten when I walk to pick out a CD, it'll be the latter. (Holy run-on sentence Batman!) And as you all should know, I enjoy the Foo Fighters much more than Nirvana, but the whole music influence factor pushes them ahead on the list. Anyway, enjoy.

1) The Beatles
2) Pink Floyd
3) Bob Dylan
4) Elton John
5) U2
6) Bruce Springsteen
7) Nirvana
8) Eminem
9) The Doors
10) Dave Matthews Band
11) Talking Heads
12) Madonna
13) Aerosmith
14) Metallica
15) Smashing Pumpkins
16) Elvis Costello & The Attractions
17) Billy Joel
18) Nine Inch Nails
19) Foo Fighters
20) Red Hot Chili Peppers
21) Rolling Stones
22) Genesis
23) Dire Straits
24) Pearl Jam
25) Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
26) The Who
27) R.E.M.
28) Marilyn Manson
29) Oasis
30) Rod Stewart
31) The White Stripes
32) Jimi Hendrix
33) Queen
34) Moby
35) Simon & Garfunkel
36) Huey Lewis & The News
37) Barenaked Ladies
38) Beck
39) Cake
40) Ben Folds
41) Fiona Apple
42) Eels
43) Incubus
44) Foreigner
45) Everclear
46) Aimee Mann
47) The Verve Pipe
48) Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
49) David Gray
50) Sting/The Police

Props to Queens of the Stone Age and Coldplay (who kick ass, but need a couple more records under their belts) and Tool (whom I respect a great deal but I find relatively annoying in large doses).

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TaoMan1121

:: 2003 20 July :: 6.57pm
:: Mood: good
:: Music: an episode of Six Feet Under

Maybe you were right about than more than I let on when I let on that you were right about the other stuff. I'll work on that, while I'm working on other said stuff.

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TaoMan1121

:: 2003 20 July :: 4.07pm
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: the grating strings of the score of Psycho

OK, my revised and extended CD list... I can feel the heat coming already. :-P

Top 50 CDs
1. Oasis - What�s The Story (Morning Glory)
2. Foo Fighters - The Colour & The Shape
3. Pink Floyd - The Wall
4. Moby - Play
5. Fiona Apple - When The Pawn�
6. Marilyn Manson - Antichrist Superstar
7. Coldplay - A Rush of Blood to the Head
8. Incubus - Make Yourself
9. Eminem - The Marshall Mathers LP
10. Smashing Pumpkins - Mellon Collie & The Infinite Sadness
11. Dave Matthews Band - Crash
12. David Gray - White Ladder
13. Cake - Fashion Nugget
14. Nine Inch Nails - The Fragile
15. Pearl Jam - Ten
16. Queens of the Stone Age � Songs for the Deaf
17. Filter - Title Of Record
18. R.E.M. - Automatic For The People
19. Talking Heads - Stop Making Sense
20. Alanis Morissette - Jagged Little Pill
21. Meat Loaf - Bat Out of Hell
22. Foo Fighters - One By One
23. Garbage - Version 2.0
24. Songs In The Key Of X
25. Beck - Sea Change
26. Eels - Beautiful Freak
27. The White Stripes - Elephant
28. Nirvana - Nevermind
29. Hootie & The Blowfish - Cracked Rear View
30. Everclear - So Much For The Afterglow
31. U2 - Achtung Baby
32. The Beatles - Sgt. Pepper�s Lonely Hearts Club Band
33. The Verve Pipe - Underneath
34. Pink Floyd - Dark Side of the Moon
35. Bush - Sixteenstone
36. Tenacious D
37. Seal
38. The Fugees - The Score
39. Enigma - The Cross Of Changes
40. The White Stripes - White Blood Cells
41. Eminem - The Eminem Show
42. Poe - Haunted
43. Metallica
44. The Verve Pipe - Villains
45. Wyclef Jean - The Carnival
46. Incubus - Morning View
47. Barenaked Ladies - Maroon
48. Eve 6 - Horrorscope
49. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Blood Sugar Sex Magik
50. A Perfect Circle Circle - Mer De Noms

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TaoMan1121

:: 2003 19 July :: 12.32pm
:: Mood: durpish
:: Music: Bush - Mouth

Today is going to be a day of lists, I can feel it right now. Either that or I just make the one and never follow through on the others. Eh.

Top 10 Movies of the Year (so far):
1) The Hulk (smart, good, solid, and honest comic book spectacular, I can't remember thinking Nolte was talented before this)
2) A Mighty Wind (great music and
a consistent Christopher Guest mockumentary, nobody caught it, so see it on video)
3) X2 (the end tapered off a bit, but the first two thirds knocked my socks off and avoided the sophomore curse)
4) Finding Nemo (my least favorite Pixar film so far, but an average Pixar film is still a fun time)
5) The Italian Job (nothing new here, but it was fun, and a pretty cast and a good cover of Pink Floyd's "Money")
6) Identity (SPOILER ALERT: as much as I despise multiple personality thrillers, I had a good time with this one, it really suprised me, and I love John Cusack)
7) The Life of David Gale (one of those trite, preachy movies I should hate, but I'm whipped by Kevin Spacey, so it's all good)
8) Dreamcatcher (shit weasels aside, it must have been the group I was with (1st fox in the hizzzouse!) but I thought Kasdan did alright with this one and was unfairly panned)
9) Pirates of the Caribbean (lots of stupid dialogue, but Depp was hilarious, supported with a good cast, and the skeleton effects Verbinski used were awesome)
10) Terminator 3 (no characters, but a good ending, just going to show you that three-fourths of the best films of the year don't come out until the end of it)

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TaoMan1121

:: 2003 19 July :: 3.29am
:: Mood: energetic
:: Music: Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Bring It On

bring it on/every little fear/and i'll make them disappear
This is the new entry. This is the new me.

I don't have much to say, but I do have this:

I love you Stefanie Anne Wilde.

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JediBumblebee

:: 2003 18 July :: 12.47am
:: Mood: numb
:: Music: climac blues band.

i knew that the only way to know was to stop persuading in either direction.

i got my answer, it wasn't the one i wanted.

you are the one i wanted.

i don't know how i could say that and say it right.

inside i'm hoping that my phone will ring but i guess honestly i know that it won't.

but i wonder if you're as sick and as sad and as miserable as me right now. i hope you arent because its too much to wish on one person.

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JediBumblebee

:: 2003 15 July :: 1.10am
:: Mood: crushed

I just dont know.

this hurts.

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TaoMan1121

:: 2003 13 July :: 11.36pm

I need some faith that there is still some humanity left somewhere here. Everywhere I've turned in the past hour, in the past day, it's all been replaced with something foreign, like I'm stuck in a dream or a play where all the major players have been substituted. How ironic is that? Me searching for faith.

I'm so desperate and so alone and so dead to the world right now.

Read this and mock me, I don't give a shit, I refuse to care what anybody thinks anymore.

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TaoMan1121

:: 2003 13 July :: 11.27pm
:: Mood: angry
:: Music: Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - People Ain't No Good

It's like they say... there is one emotion stronger than love: denial.

I cannot believe the outreaching consequences that last night is having. I hate, I mean honestly hate, my stepbrother and all of his friends. They epotimize everything that I am against.

I mean, I meant to give up some control, but I never expected things to turn into a three-ring circus.

I mean honestly, what the fuck happened last night? I know the answers, but I still can't make any sense of it.

"It ain't in their hearts they're bad
They can comfort you, some even try
They nurse you when you're ill of health
They bury you when you go and die
It ain't that in their hearts they're bad
They'd stick by you if they could
But that's just bullshit
People just ain't no good"

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TaoMan1121

:: 2003 11 July :: 9.57pm
:: Mood: good
:: Music: Bonnie Tyler - Total Eclipse Of The Heart

So if any of you don't have any plans tomorrow evening... give me a call on my cell or IM me. Yeah, we'll have fun.

Hmm... some people are really messed up in the head. Like, more than me. Honestly, I kid you not.

I don't think I'm internalizing as much as I once did. I don't have any way of verifying that though, because of the whole "internal" part of it.

Where did everybody go? If I went through my cell and deleted all the nonessential numbers, I could probably cut it in half. I have the people I need close to me, but it still makes me somewhat sad.

In my efforts to make my life more stable, I've also made it much more boring. When did everything become so predictable and quiet?

I need a change of pace.

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