:: 2004 7 September :: 10.27 am

so i'm back in chicago, sort of to my dismay. however, I have moved in and our 'apartment' is quite alright. i share a room with julia and the other two girls (heather and jen) have their own rooms. so far, everything is good. struggling with myself and my true motives for things. hopefully this will all pan out... class starts tomorrow. i have a ton of biology and am finally thinking of a direction in terms of a major... sports medicine. i will be in school forever anyway ("a lot of people go to college for eight years!" "yeah, they're called doctors.").

emily i hope rutgers continues to treat you right... i wish i hadnt slept in my own bed in three days. christ i need some ass.

last note, i've been reading "letters to a young poet" by rilke and i think i may be in love.

1 freedom fighter | free tibet

:: 2004 3 September :: 11.47 am

in the wound that would not heal... its the bitter taste of losing everything i held so dear...
if i could do it all over again, i wouldnt.

free tibet

:: 2004 2 September :: 9.00 am

it was possibly 11 of the longest minutes of my life... lying there in my bed waiting for her to roll over and open her eyes. shes so beautiful it makes me give a damn again.

last night we went to see sarah mclachlan with two of her friends. i had my reservations but it was fucking great... she even covered 'blackbird'. any female musician who can successfully cover that song is reason enough for me.

i leave sunday and am supposed to work everyday until then. my parents are pissed. i have a ton of shit to do. oh well. sucks to your asmar.

free tibet

:: 2004 31 August :: 10.57 pm

..watching capitalisim gun down democracy...
if you're going to ask a god to bless somethng, how about all countries?

free tibet

:: 2004 29 August :: 3.42 pm

well, hes pretty much gone. just keeps getting further away.

'i am no musician but the pain has been instrumental'

back from cincinnati for the weekend... my family... wow... what a bunch of alchys... no one can booze it up like a family of 8 irish catholics. back to school on sunday and sad about it. i wanted mexico.

free tibet

:: 2004 14 August :: 12.53 pm

well i guess this is growing up
and i dont understand it at all

free tibet

:: 2004 5 August :: 1.02 am

the rest of my summer is going to suck, spent working a ton of doubles and going to cincinnati. an incident with him, i miss her, frustrated (vast understandment) with the news and mo voters regarding amendment two.

only upside is that bro is coming in town and parents are leaving.

need sleep. effen managers meeting tomorrow am before work. work thurs, fri, sat, sun. want to go to mississipi nights friday for poetry slam but dont get off until 9 so we will see. sat i think missy and eric are coming in from chicago which means intense throwdown and sleepover/pass out at kristans. git er done.

1 freedom fighter | free tibet

:: 2004 1 August :: 11.12 pm

to all you selfish, ignorant, inwardly concerned motherfuckers... go to hell. you've had plenty of time to come around, to see what you can offer the world, of no cost or extra exertion on your part... and you dont. you hide away in your safe rooms in your safe houses and hold precious talents and belongings away from the people who would benefit most.

and to all you who are constantly bitching about no one coming to see you at work, or to your house when you say "come the fuck over here", or make any other demands of others and giving nothing of yourself, making no gesture in return... "open up your eyes and look within... are you satisfied with the life you're livin?" (bob marley).

fuck your good nights sleep

free tibet

:: 2004 30 July :: 1.50 am

today i got back from camping down at mark twain with ethan and jack. interesting time. I had one of those coozie cup things for my beverages with a string attached to it so i was wearing it around my neck and trying to get firewood at the same time. I came back with bits of wood all over my shirt as well as spilled beer (the idea to wear the cup around my neck was better in theory). so the quote of the day was...
Jack: "well if you have anything on your shirt other than a logo, be glad its crumbs and beer, that way you know you're having a good time"


What Kind of Drunk Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

free tibet

:: 2004 25 July :: 1.59 pm
:: Music: saul williams, fearless

free tibet

:: 2004 24 July :: 10.26 am
:: Music: theres just enough of you in me for me to have some sympathy

free tibet

:: 2004 16 July :: 9.34 pm

so frustrated... been waiting patiently to meet someone else who...
-appreciates that bukowski is my favorite author
-doesnt think its wierd that i may bite their lip while i am kissing them
-likes to drink as much as i do
-understands that 'stand for what you stand on' is my form of religion
-doesnt cringe with disgust when i say that i dont have a problem not showering for two weeks
-hates body hair. i hate body hair. when can i meet another guy that actually likes to shave his body hair?
-knows that just because i can obtain almost any drug in a period of 24 hours doesnt mean i do drugs anymore
-loves 'croupier', 'braveheart', or 'wet hot american summer' at least half as much as i do
-thinks that the fact that i accidentally broke the "G" off the new belgium brewery sign in colorado is amazing
-doesnt profess an undying hatred for ben harper, indigo girls, ani difranco, keller williams, bright eyes, RHCP, or anything on 96.3 (khits)
-is willing to skip school/work to run away, buy beer, go roam the flood wall or castlewood or laumier or go bouldering or biking or throw the disc around

must go, list not finished.

1 freedom fighter | free tibet

:: 2004 13 July :: 6.12 pm

sorry...
General Stuff to Know
What is your full name?: no! that freaks me out having it on the internet. my initials are LEW
Where were you born?: stl, mo.
What is your birthday/age?: 19.... sept 18, 1984
Where do you live now?: stl, mo/ chicago, il
Hair color?: brown
Height?: 5'7
Righty, Lefty, or Ambidextrious?: right
What is your Zodiac sign?: virgo

What is Your Favorite...
Color?: green
Day of the week?: thursday... always getting the weekend started
Season?: fall
Time of day?: 5pm. and its always 5pm somewhere.
Place to visit?: fort collins, colorado
Food?: mac n cheese... forever
Ice cream flavor?: cookies and cream
Thing to do outside?: jazz in june every wednesday night at the botanical gardens with my friends (aside from climb/hike/paddle)

What is/are...
Something you hope to accomplish?: happiness
Your biggest accomplishment?: honesty with myself
Your worst fear?: your mom
Some words/phrases you overuse?: your mom
The best way to spend a day off?: with friends and booze, often a frisbee should be involved. and dogs.
Your least favorite thing to have to do?: take my clothes off

Do you...
Get along with your parents?: yes except in matters of politics
Smoke?: no
Drink?: heavily
Do drugs?: not anymore
Play an instrument?: the triangle
Want to go to college?(if so, where?): depaul university
Want to get married?: not so much
Want to have children?: see above
Get along with your siblings?: hell yes. my big broham is amazing.
Cuss excessively?: unfortunately, lately ive been yelling "shitfuck!"
Talk to yourself?: no... my mom does and it freaks me out.
Sing? Well?: hell no comes to mind


If you could...
Go anywhere in the world, where would you go?: italy and greece
Have any car you wanted, what would it be?: a super old land rover with one of those 3 foot stick shifts from the outback, crocodile dundee style. i dont care if it doesnt run.
Go on a date with any celebrity, who would it be?: angelina jolie, clive owen, jared leto
Have one wish (no wishing for more), what would you wish for?: i want to learn to surf
Change ONE thing about yourself, what would it be?: get back in shape
Try anything once (hang gliding, skydiving, etc...), what would you choose?: anything i could, provided there was no way to become addicted.
Murder (or have them offed) one person (no consequences), who would it be?: creepy
Be a superhero, what would your superpower be?: an incredible IQ... then i could figure out all the other shit like flying and invisibility and how to achieve superhuman strength
Meet any one person, dead or alive, who would it be?: thats the hardest question- maybe my grandpa? i never met the one on my dads side.
Go back in time and fix one mistake, what would it be?: not have hurt kerry the way i did. basically, not have been one of the biggest ignorant morons i have ever come in contact with. other than that, nothing.

The last...
Dream you had?: no clue
Nightmare you had?: today at work
Time you cried?: last week when i was changing and i saw myself nekkid in the mirror
Movie you saw in the theatre?: dodgeball... dont ask...
Movie you rented?: miracle (mighty ducks for big kids... see it...)
Person you kissed?: wow... i think it was kristan... man i need some ace
Person you hugged?: l.frye
Person you talked to on the telephone?: jon
Time you laughed?: last night at annie while she tried to talk and be stoned at the same time
Curse word you said?: shitfuck
Book you read?: 'women' by bukowski
Place you went?: work
Song you heard?: counting crows, omaha
CD you listened to?: donavon frankenreiter
Person you yelled at?: a little kid at the pool
Person that yelled at you?: a little kid at the pool
Time you played Spin The Bottle?: i don think ive ever actually played with a bottle. its always been "hey who wants to make out?"
Year you went Trick-Or-Treating?: 5th grade
Drink you had?: red wine

Have you ever...
Cried over a boy/girl?: both!
Toilet papered someone's house?: no
Egged someone's house?: no
Played strip poker?: no
Had a one-night stand?: no
Gone skinny dipping?: no
Been in a fist fight?: no
Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend?: no
Lied to your best friend?: no
Told someone something you weren't supposed to tell them?: probably
Cheated on an exam?: i mean, really, who hasnt had some verb endings in italian written on their shoe...
Skipped school?: jesus if i spent half the time in school that i had spent skipping...
Streaked?: no
Kissed a member of the same sex?: god yes
Started a rumour about someone?: no. does that work? do people fall for that?
Stolen anything worth over $100?: no

Describe...
Your perfect man/woman: no such thing as perfect
Your best friend in 3 words: honest, intriguing, beautiful
What you wanna be when you grow up: if that happens i will let you know
The next fifteen years of your life: will be spent trying to graduate
The best day of your life: too many
How you're feeling at this very moment: tired
Your favorite thing about yourself:: jack recently told me that out of all his friends, im the one that complains the least. i felt so proud... granted we were walking home from missys apartment in the freezing cold rain and i was wearing a tshirt and started prancing down the sidewalk, but still...

free tibet

:: 2004 8 July :: 1.55 pm

just one more thing before i go... theres never been anyplace quite like this home
my place of employment flooded! spent yesterday and the day before cleaning everything and if i have to vacuum the babypool anymore i might cut you. if im lucky i can get a headguard shift up at kwood tonight and make up some hours.

I got "dry" by augusten burroughs and i cant put it down.

i went to his house and watched wet hot american summer which was just the mindless activity i needed. during the viewing, she finally called me, i smiled the whole time and i appreciate how cool she is (when she actually does return my calls). shit i cant think.

1 freedom fighter | free tibet

:: 2004 3 July :: 11.31 am
:: Music: donavon frankenreiter

1 freedom fighter | free tibet